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not myself, but her

Summary:

Atsushi could see it in the way she acted. It was subtle, but it was there.

Koda Aya was being abused.

And Atsushi knew abuse all too well.

Notes:

Hi!!

First fic I’ve uploaded lol. Ao3 curse initiated😔
also, I haven't watched bsd in a while, so if this is inaccurate, I'm sorry
Enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Atsushi watched as Kunikida returned Aya to her father.

The man had a stern look on his face as he took the little girls hand. He profusely thanked Kunikida, making an almost playful joke about scolding her. Kunikida had explained at surface level how courageous she had been, and the man had brushed it off.

After the bombing in the subway, Kunkida had offered to drop off Aya. He took her to the agency first to change, and brought Atsushi along so he wouldn’t be alone on the way back. It was a lengthy drive through the city. They arrived at a parking lot near the beach where they met Aya’s father.

The teen sat in the car staring at the interaction, using his ability to hear what they were saying, growing uneasy at the father.

“I apologize for any trouble she must’ve caused for you and your coworkers,” the man apologized, tugging the little redheads arm when she remained quiet.

“…sorry, Kunikida.”

“That’s Kunkida -San to you!” He sighed, “It’s ok, in fact, you should be proud of your daughter, sir, she was very courageous and persistent; you’ve certainly raised her right.”

When his superior had said that, Atsushi noticed Aya tense up. Ever since the start of the mission, he’d smelled a sad scent on the girl; one that reminded him of his childhood. It was underlying, never fully presented, but certainly there. It was like a sort of mourning, because whether or not you were having a good time, it would eventually come to an end.

Mr. Koda reflected that statement with a gruff laugh and forced smile.

“Cmon, Aya, you’ve wasted enough of this man’s time,” said the father. He tugged on the girl’s wrist; Atsushi could tell the girl truly wanted to stay with them. In fact, she’d been awfully quiet and quite stiff in her father’s presence, nothing carefree or eager like before.

Now that he looked at her, he realized her eyes seemed empty, and her face was sad.

“Goodbye, Aya. Obey your father and stay out of trouble,” Kunikida sternly said, but anyone could tell he meant it out of care for the girl.

The gravel crunched underneath Kunikida’s feet as he made his way back over to the car. The teen watched him and his uniform methods of starting it up and setting everything to his liking.

“Buckled up?”

Atsushi just nodded. He couldn’t believe what he was about to do.

Discreetly covering his ear with the cup of his hand and resting his arm on the windowsill, Atsushi turned his head to see the eerily perfect looking pair. The fathers hand was wrapped around his daughters firm, and he had a ginger smile on his face. He said something to Aya, and the girl straightened up before waving her arm high for them to see. She shut her eyes, calling out “Thank you!” As they drove away.

Kunikida couldn’t help but chuckle and sigh at the childlike innocence of the girl.

Atsushi knew better.

He transformed the ear he had covered, flinching at the sudden income of noise it allowed. Taking a deep breath and shutting his eyes, he pierced through the fog of muddled traffic and city round chatter, locating the conversation he wanted to hear with deadly precision.

“-Aya? After everything lesson, every meal, every grain of rice I provided for you, you still go on to pull a stunt like this?” His daughter was quick to respond.

“No, dad I don’t-“

“How dare you,” Atsushi straightened up, “repeatedly dishonor me like that?” The teen recognized that tone.

Greedy rat, you should be thankful you were even spared oxygen to breathe.

“Where did I go wrong in raising you, huh?! Your sister turned out fine, but you? You’re just a leech, a bug!”

A small whimper could be heard, perhaps the start of tears.

“For this, you’ll need to be punished. No more food.”

You’re hungry? Too bad. Your existence wears this orphanage of its supplies enough as is.

Atsushi had to do something. He had to protect himself Aya.

“Kunikida, stop the car.”

“What?”

“I, er, forgot my phone.”

“Tsk, seriously? We’ve already made some distance…. I’ll just stop at the next red light and let you out. Go get it and meet me back in this area.”

“Okay.”

They kept driving in silence. Kunikida took note that Atsushi’s leg was bouncing and his face looked impatient, but distant. Like he wasn’t all there.

“Did you really leave your phone?”

The hairs at Atsushi’s nape prickled. He could see the man looking at him weird in his peripherals, although his transformed ear was still hidden in his hand.

“I…yeah.”

Instead of following the route to the agency, Kunikida pulled over into a parking lot. All the while, the younger continued listening in on the ugly confrontation occurring between Aya and her dad.

“It’s a horrible habit to lie to your seniors, kid.”

Atsushi pursed his lips, reluctantly reversing his ear so he could turn to Kunikida.

Sighing, the man continued.

“You seem… out of it, ever since we left Aya. Lay it out for me kid; you know I’m not the best at reading people.”

“I just…” Atsushi thought about his options. Kunkida, of all people, would definitely understand his reasonings, seeing as the man had upright morals, with child abuse being no exception. However, the man was just as opposed to charging in without a plan, something Atsushi was acquainted to doing.

“Atsushi?”

“Aya is being abused.”

The shocked expression on Kunikida’s face turned steel after a brief moment. He looked expectant.

“…Well, go on, explain why you think that.” It was then Atsushi’s turn to be confused; his senior wasn’t usually this easily swayed.

“It’s hard to explain. There are ways that abused children act around their abusers, like being resigned or timid.”

Speak up, boy!

“They often also may be stiff, maybe by force of habit—“

Keep your back straight.

“For fear of their abusers. They could also act pleadingly,”

“Look at this mess! Can you do anything right?”
“I-“
“Keep your mouth shut.

“Or like fighting would be a losing battle..”

“Sit here and think about your sins against humanity.”
“But I’m hungry.”
“So starve! And learn not to be so annoying, while you’re at it.”

“..and..”

When you start appreciating all that I’ve done for you, I’ll let you eat.

“Kid?”

“Right, sorry. The point is, there are some things that aren’t as plain as day, but when you’ve experienced them— or, um, studied them— you learn to see them. With Aya, there were signs blaring red about abuse.”

Kunkida looked constipated, and almost like he was pitying Atsushi. The teen squirmed under his gaze.

“Also, the entire car ride, I’ve been listening to them, and Anya’s father was threatening harm.”

“Well, you could’ve led with that!” Kunikida exclaimed.

“Sorry…”

“Actually, I had been suspecting it, but I had nothing to go off of. She seemed conflicted when her dad told her they had to go, but I suppose you’d recognize the other signs. Even so, this is simply not enough to arrest someone for.”

“So we can’t do anything?”

“No, it means we have to be careful how we do this.” And then, Kunkida proposed a plan.


At 9:52 p.m., Atsushi was drunk.

Or, at least, he acted like it. For the past thirty minutes, he had been “drinking” with Mr. Koda. Earlier that evening, Atsushi arrived at their house carrying fake booze.
After greeting him and explaining that he’d enjoy a drink, he handed him a bottle and sparked conversation. The initiative was to ignite some sort of alcohol expectancy effect, and it was working. Currently, the man was sitting on his couch, unaware that every word he said was being recorded.

“And so, I let her go! It was the only thing I could do, kids being kids and all.” The man waved his bottle around to exaggerate his thoughts.

They were surrounded by empty bottles the man had finished prior to this one. Atsushi was on his third, and the chemical dupe of cheap sake rested disgustingly on his tongue. But the sacrifice was not worthless, for seeing that Atsushi had consumed three, the man had consumed five.

“Well, that’s why they say discipline is important, no?”

“I agree completely, in fact—“ he took a sip from his bottle, “can I tell you something? Man to man?”

“Go ahead! What’s said with alcohol is washed away by sobriety.” He smirked then, feeling he was soon to gain the answers he wanted.

“Ha ha! You get it!” The man suddenly became hushed, leaning in. “They say not to do this, but sometimes, you have to get physical with your punishments. Of course, not just regular beatings; those leave marks and get you arrested. No, I starve my kid,” he looked at Atsushi with a glint in his eyes, “works like a charm! Keeps ‘em tired and willing to obey. Saves money too! Not all bloody and gross either.”

A small boy hugged his knees in a cellar. A grumble erupted from his empty stomach.

Atsushi resisted the urge to choke the man. If he listened really closely too, he’d hear how Aya was sitting on the top of the staircase, silently crying.

He smiled and chose to reply.

“Really? But have you ever beaten your kids before?”

“Oh yes, how do you think I learned to stop!” He chuckled. “One teacher gets concerned and all of a sudden you’re at a parent teacher conference being told your child appears bruised and bloodied. Then, it’s an act of innocence, saying stuff like oh, she fell down the stairs to get ‘em off your back.”

He started laughing hysterically at that. Atsushi chuckled too, knowing what was about to happen.

“Yeah… anyways, sir, I ought to get back home.”

“Yeah, yeah, get back to studying I assume? College kids like you deserve fun times like this, though. Study hard; men need to stay in charge of this godforsaken country. Seriously, the amount of roles meant for men being stolen by useless women is crazy!”

They walked to the door. The warm light leaked from the house into the night. Atsushi nodded and put his shoes back on before standing outside and bowing.

“Thank you for letting me into your beautiful household, sir.”

“No need to be so formal! Thank for the booze! And giving this old man an outlet to talk! I seriously needed that, heh,” he leaned on the doorway.

“Oh yeah, one more thing then,” Atsushi announced.

“Mr. Koda, you are under arrest for child abuse.”

The words didn’t seem to process fast enough. Atsushi reached over quickly and grabbed the man’s hands before pinning him to the ground and putting him in handcuffs.

“W-WHAT?! WHAT THE-“

“You have the right to remain silent, sir.”

“FUCK YOU! WAS THIS ALL SOME SET UP? SOME COP SHIT? YOU INTOXICATED ME! THAT’S FUCKIN’ ILLEGAL!” He squirmed underneath Atsushi’s hold, but the effort was to waste beneath a tiger’s strength.

“It was fake booze.”

At the ruckus, Aya appeared in the hallway.
She looked scared. Atsushi’s gaze softened.



When he was secured in a cop car, Atsushi approached Aya.

“Are you ok—“

And then two short arms wrapped around his waist in a tight grip, almost knocking him over.

“Thank you.” The girl murmured, looking at him with tears in her eyes. “Thank you so much.”

Atsushi felt a weird pang of jealousy for her, that she was granted this. At the same time, his heart swelled with pride that he was able to save even just one child from his childhood.

“Hey, I deserve some credit too,” emerged a voice from behind them. Aya saw the blonde man approaching in the distance and ran to him as well.

“Kunikida-San!”

“Finally you learned respect…”

“Don’t say that! You’re being rude!” And she jumped up to grab his ponytail.

“OW! GET OFF ME BRAT!” Kunkida exclaimed, reaching around to pull off the girl as she giggled and held tight to his hair.

Atsushi giggled at the exchange. He couldn’t resist and tickled his seniors armpits while he was waving his arms around.

“RAAAGHHH!”

Notes:

I wanted to mention more about aya’s dead mom and sister, but I didn’t know how to add it in🫣 also, I’m sorry if the ending seemed rushed, I’ve had the first part written for a while, and I just wanted to upload something.

Please leave a comment! or perhaps I’m talking to the void😦