Work Text:
"Y-you can't be s-serious, Yosano-sensei," Atsushi spluttered. "In what world would both Dazai-san and Chuuya-san want to date me?" He knew he should've run when she beckoned him over. It never meant anything good when she had that mischievous look in her eyes.
Yosano stared at Atsushi in disbelief. "They adore you and are always fighting over you for your attention, Atsushi," she stated. It was clear to everyone what they were trying to do. Well, everyone, except for Atsushi and Yosano, would never understand how he wasn't aware of it. Atsushi was meant to be a detective.
"No, they don't." Atsushi was not able to handle her teasing today, especially when it was to do with his obvious feelings for the two former mafioso's.
Yosano raised an eyebrow and inquired, "Doesn't Chuuya always buy you lunch?"
Atsushi sighed when it was evident that Yosano wasn't going to give up. "That's just Chuuya-san," he remarked. Atsushi had tried to argue with Chuuya when he first started buying him lunch, but he insisted, saying that with his ability, he needed to eat more.
"He doesn't even do that for Dazai, and he's dating him," Yosano pointed out.
"That's because Dazai-san munches off him all the time," Atsushi explained. Though he knew Chuuya wouldn't have a problem treating Dazai if he didn't act like he had no money, since the brunet was the one who had the most money. "And Chuuya-san treats everyone in the agency from time to time." Atsushi was pretty sure most of Ranpo's snacks came from Chuuya, so he wasn't special.
Yosano felt like shaking Atsushi because how did he not see that treating someone to lunch five days a week was different from bringing in treats occasionally for everyone to share. "How about the way Dazai is always hanging off you in the office?" Yosano inquired. She was interested to see how Atsushi would explain that.
Atsushi paused because he was about to say Dazai was like that with everyone, but that wasn't the case. Dazai actually kept a distance from everyone except Chuuya. And if he was honest with himself, Dazai didn't even act like that with his boyfriend most of the time, which made Atsushi question why Chuuya was okay with Dazai acting like that with him.
"Atsushi-kun," Dazai exclaimed as he latched onto him.
Atsushi instantly blushed and attempted to shake Dazai off.
Dazai reluctantly let Atsushi go, confused, since he had never tried to push him away before. "What happened?" He asked.
"N-nothing," Atsushi stuttered. How could he explain to Dazai that he should be more considerate of Chuuya's feelings? Atsushi couldn't believe he hadn't realised how inappropriate it was for him to allow Dazai in his personal space when he was already in a relationship.
Dazai looked at Yosano for an explanation because he had a feeling she was responsible for how Atsushi was acting.
"He doesn’t believe you and Chuuya want to date him," said Yosano without any hesitation. She didn't see the point in lying to Dazai, especially since it was in Atsushi's best interest to hear the truth.
"Yosano-sensei," Atsushi groaned. How was he going to be able to look Dazai and Chuuya in the eye again? Dazai was probably going to be weirded out by Yosano's accusation. He was going to have to quit the agency and look for another job.
Dazai was puzzled. "I thought we were clear about our intentions with you, Atsushi-kun?"
"What?"
"I told you we needed to be clearer with him," Chuuya said with a sigh. He knew they should've sat Atsushi down and spoken to him about it.
"Chuuya-san?" Atsushi's mind was trying to comprehend what was happening because there was no possible way they both actually wanted to date him.
Dazai hugged Atsushi close. "You should date us, Atsushi-kun," he pleaded.
"Give him some space to breathe, you idiot," Chuuya reprimanded Dazai as he tried to pull him off Atsushi. The last thing he wanted was for the brunet to scare off Atsushi.
"It's not a joke, right?" Atsushi asked, his voice barely above a whisper. He didn't think his heart could take it if it turned out to be a joke.
"Of course not!" Chuuya and Dazai stated, quickly.
"I told you so," Yosano mused.
Atsushi blushed and hid his face in Dazai's chest. He felt like he was living in a dream because how else would someone like Dazai and Chuuya want to have a romantic relationship with him?
Dazai smiled at his reaction. "Is that Atsushi-kun's way of saying he wants to date us too?"
Atsushi nodded as he didn't trust his voice to speak.
"No flirting at work," Kunikida yelled as he hit Dazai on the back of the head with his notebook.
"But Kunikida-kun," Dazai whined when Atsushi jumped away from him because of the blond. Did Kunikida not care about the moment that he had just broken? Atsushi had agreed to date him and Chuuya. This was a cause for celebration.
"No buts." Kunikida then turned to Atsushi and demanded, "Control your boyfriend."
Atsushi stared at Kunikida, speechless.
Kunikida was about to say something to Chuuya when he cut him off.
"The reports will be done by the end of the day," Chuuya promised. The last thing he wanted was for them to have to work overtime because of some reports, when they could instead bring Atsushi on an official date.
"Good," Kunikida said as he looked between the three detectives. He wasn't convinced that would be the case. Dazai had a way of talking Chuuya into taking part in his schemes. He could only hope Atsushi would stay strong and not let Dazai corrupt him as well.
"Chuuya, you are no fun," Dazai said with a pout.
Chuuya rolled his eyes at him. "Well, if you kept up with your reports instead of staring at Atsushi all day." How Kunikida hasn't moved Dazai's desk away from Atsushi's was still a mystery to him.
"Are you saying staring at Atsushi-kun is a waste of time?" Dazai asked with an Innocent look.
"Of course not," Chuuya blurted before coughing from embarrassment. "You know what I meant, mackerel." He knew how easily one could get lost in Atsushi's eyes. Chuuya ruffled Atsushi's hair, and his heart soared when he leaned into his touch.
The moment was broken again by Kunikida snapping his pen in half. Before he could say a word, they rushed back to their seats and started working on their reports.
Unfortunately for Kunikida, Atsushi didn't make much progress on his report since he was still coming to terms with the fact that he was now dating Dazai and Chuuya.