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Noli had lost track of how long he’d been curled up there on the floor.
Ever since his last encounter with The Spectre that ended in the shackles that now constantly bothered him, Noli had spent most of his time in nearly this exact same spot. It was a pile of blankets and pillows on the floor of 1x1x1x1’s room, pressed down into a shape that cradled his body in all the right and wrong places, reminding him of exactly how much of his time had been spent there. Even when he’d be selected for a round now that they’d started up again, he’d finish it up and then simply…walk back up here and curl back up. He had only left the room for an extended period of time recently when they were all dealing with Azure and Trap’s return and he had flung himself and Kidd into the rafters to protect him.
Whenever 1x was in the room, he tried not to look at her, like some pathetic dog trying to avoid punishment. After the first handful of times she spoke and he simply hummed, she…simply stopped trying to speak to him. Part of him felt terrible about it. Another part of him thought that speaking would just make her angry if he reminded her of all the idiotic moves he’d pulled recently. She even brought his food up here after he stopped heading down to get it for himself, taking the dishes away when he was done. For a being of hatred, she was being so caring to a thing like him that it was sickening.
Today had been a free day, said free days now finding themselves interspersed much more frequently at random. Noli presumed it was The Spectre constantly having to stop and recharge its power, and he could only hope that it one day would push itself too hard and the realm would collapse, releasing everyone in it. The door creaked open and he resisted his initial instinct to poke his head up and see who it was, assuming it was 1x considering this was her room.
“Noli.”
He hummed a hello at her, not turning to face her.
“That’s not going to work today,” she simply stated, sitting down next to him, “I’m tired of you being like this. This is not the wretched jester I had grown accustomed to.”
“I’m n07 4ccu570m3d 70 7hi5 57473 3i7h3r, pr377y bird,” he huffed, voice coarse from lack of usage.
1x hummed at the nickname, but didn’t complain about it, which Noli found…strange. He was sure that he was testing his limits with merely that alone. Some small part of him had hoped that she’d reject the nickname so hard she’d stop speaking to him, but instead she just…lay a wing over him, somewhat akin to a blanket.
“I’m…the last person to be talking about feelings and the like,” they grumbled, and Noli could practically perfectly picture the grimace on their face when they said ‘feelings’, “But…talk to me. We’ll work something out. We have to.”
Something in his gut twisted.
“...P0w3rfu1, y37 p0w3r1355 h3r3.”
“...Pardon?”
“7h47’5 wh47 i7…54id 70 m3, m0n7h5 4g0,” he explained, running a thumb over one of his wrist shackles, “b4ck in…J4nu4ry, if I’m r3m3mb3ring righ7.”
“...When I found you in that field,” it recalled, “When you asked me to say I hated you, and I said I couldn’t.”
“‘Y0u 4r3 p0w3rfu1, bu7 y0u 4r3 p0w3r1355 h3r3 70 54v3 7h3 0n35 y0u’v3 ch053n 70 l0v3.’,” he quoted it, “I h4d 7ri3d 70 b1uff. I h4d 7ri3d 70 54y I didn’7 c4r3 f0r 4ny 0f y0u, 4nd i7…u53d y0ur v0ic3 70 7311 m3 70 54y I w45 0k4y wi7h Kidd b3ing hur7.”
“And you couldn’t.”
“Wh47 4 j0k3 0f 4n 4c70r I 4m, huh?” he made a quiet, bitter laugh.
Abruptly, he found himself lifted up, twisted a bit in 1x’s grasp until he was placed back down, now with 1x laying in the blanket pile and Noli resting on them. He took a few settling breaths, realizing he’d been placed directly against the currently uncovered horrifying scar that spanned most of 1x’s chest, which they normally kept so adamantly covered up where no one could see it. Nearby, The Void Star idly hummed as Noli settled down into the hold.
“I think you’re such a good actor it’s annoying,” 1x hummed, and Noli focused on how he could feel its gravely voice from where he lay, “Like how you’ve been pretending you’re doing alright. It’s annoying. You’re like a dying cat.”
“4 dying c47 4nd 4 sick d0g,” Noli huffed, and he wasn’t sure if there was humor in his voice or not, “Wh47 4 p4ir w3 4r3.”
“Animals that should have been put down long ago, left to fester and scramble for survival,” 1x placed a talon-hand on Noli’s back, far too gentle for a being like it claimed to be, “And yet I’m…starting to think it wasn’t a mistake for either of us. A sick dog can turn its health around. A dying cat can have a miraculous recovery.”
“...Y0u’v3 ch4ng3d,” Noli breathed out.
“So have you,” came the response, softer than normal, “Is that bad for either of us?”
“...I 1ik3 7h3 w4y y0u’v3 ch4ng3d,” he quietly admitted.
“...And I the same for you.”
Noli simply responded with a heavy sigh, letting the false eye on his mask drift partway closed.
He wasn’t sure when he had actually fallen asleep, but at some point, he was jostled awake when 1x grabbed him again and stood up.
“You gonna walk, or am I gonna have to carry you like a pathetic sack of flour?” 1x huffed, though the tone of their voice wasn’t…upset, in any manner. It was so unlike them that if Noli thought about it too hard, it was almost unsettling, but he…just found it nice. He liked it when they showed concern in their own little way.
He sort of wiggled out of its grasp, finding his footing. Once he stood firmly, 1x nudged him towards the door to the room with a wing, humming and nodding its head in the direction of said door.
“...Wh3r3 4r3 w3 g0ing?” Noli questioned, fidgeting with a sleeve.
“Out of this room, for starters,” 1x grumbled, “At least to the kitchen. Preferably outside. I’m tired of you rotting in here.”
“4h, bu7 r077ing i5 wh47 I d0, d34r bird,” Noli tilted his head up at her, “g0d 7r4pp3d in 4 c0rp53, r3m3mb3r?”
“Yeah yeah,” her voice was verging on a growl as she slid the tattered poncho she always wore back on, covering up the scar on her chest, “I’m practically a corpse too, and you don’t see me curled up in a little ball all day. Where’s your dignity?”
“I 7hink i7 migh7’v3 di3d 7h3 1457 7im3 I pu11ed 50m3 57upid 5hi7.”
1x paused, and then laughed. It was a sort of raspy sound, half-choked like they didn’t mean to make it but it slipped out before they could stop it.
“You are an expert in stupid shit,” xe grasped a talon-hand around his upper sleeve, now outright dragging him out of the room, “I’d have thought you’d know how to keep your dignity through your many, many times of doing stupid things.”
With no choice but to follow as he was dragged along out of the room, down the stairs, and into the kitchen, dragged to the table.
“Thank The Void, there’s still coffee left,” 1x mumbled, reaching to grab through the cabinets for mugs.
Noli buffered a moment, staring at her as she poured two mugs, “I h4v3…n3v3r h34rd y0u u53 7h47 3xpr355i0n b3f0r3.”
“Oh, what, did you expect a thank The Heights out of me?” 1x made a sort of huffing laugh, returning to the table with the coffee, “Here’s your coffee with a disgusting amount of sugar. How can you even stand that much?”
“I…y0u r3m3mb3r3d 7h47 I 1ik3 4 bunch 0f 5ug4r?” Noli stared at the mug.
“How could I forget an insult to a good drink like that?”
Noli made a muffled laugh as he settled in the chair, waiting for the coffee to cool a bit before he took a sip. Xe had remembered how much sugar he liked in his coffee. Just…another note in the list of ways xe had changed.
Which…reminded him of something. He set the mug down with a sigh, staring at the table.
“7h3r3’5…50m37hing I’v3 b33n h01ding 0ff 0n 7311ing y0u.”
1x blinked and stared for a moment, some…implacable emotion settling on her face. She tapped a talon on the table and let out a slow breath, voice clearly carefully steadied.
“You’ve been hiding something from me?” she kept her voice level, but there was an undertone of a growl.
Noli made a noise akin to a quiet groan, half out of shame and half out of the uncomfortableness he felt. “F0r…4 d3c3n7 r3450n, I pr0mi53,” he muttered, “I’v3 41w4y5 w4n73d 70 7311 y0u, I ju57…didn’7 kn0w h0w y0u’d r34c7.”
A new yet still implacable emotion flickered across 1x’s face. If Noli squinted, it looked like something akin to sadness.
“You…were afraid to tell me whatever it is…” it spoke, voice quieted.
“…y35,” Noli admitted with a sigh, “i7’5 n07 1ik3 I 7h0ugh7…”
…He shouldn’t even go there. He shouldn’t even begin to imply where his brain had trailed, even if he spent ages rationalizing that she wouldn’t do that without very good reasoning.
Though…what he had to say very well might have been reasoning enough.
“N3v3rmind,” he shook his head, “I gu355 I’m 7311ing y0u n0w.”
He had spent…ages, really, rehearsing the conversation in his head for when he was ready to have it. He just hoped everything would go to plan.
“G0d5…w3r3 n07 7h3 fir57 b3ing5,” he began, tail wrapping around the leg of his chair as he stared at his cup of coffee, “50m37hing c4m3 b3f0r3 7h3m. 50m37hing 5c4ri3r 4nd…much m0r3 p0w3rfu1.”
The Void Star hummed next to him, and he tried to shove down the fear he knew it was showing.
“Prim0rdi41 7hing5, I gu355. 7h47’5 wh47 I’v3 41w4y5 c4113d 7h3m. D3iv0r35, 134ving 7h3m 70…n34r1y 347 7h3m531v35 in70 3x7inc7i0n, un7i1…70 7h3 m4in gr0up’5 kn0w13dg3, 0n1y f0ur r3m4in3d. 7h3 m4in gr0up w45…wr0ng, 4c7u411y. 7h3r3 w45 fiv3 0f 7h3m, 7h47 hidd3n fif7h b3ing 4 14rg3 5h4rd, ju57 1ik3 y0u, 4nd 7h3 13f70v3r r3m4in5 0f 0n3 m0r3.”
He looked away from his coffee, up at 1x. They had…a look of quiet realization, but not much more beyond that. He assumed they hadn’t fully realized where this was going, only part of it.
“7h3y d3cid3d 7h47 w45 i7. 7h3y v0w3d 70 n07 d3v0ur 34ch 07h3r, 4nd w3n7 7hi3r 53p4r473 w4y5. 7w0 0f 7h3 gr0up f0und 7h3 hidd3n 0n3, 4nd t0g37h3r 7h3y 1iv3d 4m0ng57 g0d5, un7i11 0n3 0f 7h3 0rigin41 7w0 f311 i11 4nd p4553d, 411owing hi5 b357 fri3nd 70 74k3 hi5 p0w3r.”
He lowered his head again, claws digging into the wood of the table.
“0n3 0f 7h3 f0ur g07…700 c0cky, 4nd w45 puni5h3d 373rn411y f0r i75 57upidi7y, f0r3v3r 7r4pp3d. 7h3 1457…m4d3 4 w0r1d f0r i7531f, pu11ing p30p13 in, m0571y 4g4in57 7h3ir wi11,” he coughed out a laugh that had been stuck in his throat, “y0u’r3…qui73 f4mi1i4r wi7h 411 7h3 r3m4ining 0n35, 4c7u411y.”
“...Builderman, Brighteyes, you, and…The Spectre…”
“C̴͓̓r̵̢̃ḙ̶̊ă̴̙t̵̯̒ǐ̶̙v̵̲͝i̷̦͗t̷̓͜y̴̤͋,̷̩̍ ̶̰̊T̶̗̍h̴͈͂e̶͔̋ ̷̟̌Ű̷̜ņ̵̎k̴̳̊n̷̨͆o̴̦͛w̴͙͗n̷͕̎,̶̟̏ ̶͎̿Ç̶͑h̴͉͂a̴͚̍ŏ̸͖s̸̮͌,̸̙͗ ̵̣̊ą̵̎n̵͓̿d̶̨̉ ̸̧̈́Ḑ̷́e̷̟̅s̷̪̏ṗ̸̻à̸̺i̸̦͆r̵͉͑.̷̯̇”
He stared back up at her, trying to not show fear as she simply…stared at him.
“...And what became of the remains?” she simply asked.
“7h3 C0rrup7i0n,” he simply answered.
1x made a contemplative hum, tapping xir talons on the table and staring at Noli for a long, long moment. After not saying anything for quite a while, xe simply took a sip of xir own coffee.
“So you and it are the same species,” she nodded, “Did you think I would be upset about that?”
Noli stared in shock, “Y0u’r3…n07?”
1x stared at him like he was being an idiot, “Persecuting people for their species is why Kidd is here. Why would I do that?”
“…0h.”
“I am, however,” she grumbled, “Angry that you hid this from me. I need to know things that can be used to our advantage.”
Noli crossed his arms on the table, setting his head on them, “I n3v3r c14im3d 70 b3 5m4r7, y’kn0w.”
“You actually have, quite a few times,” 1x huffed at him, “But I…”
They leaned back in their chair with a dramatic groan, throwing their head back and letting all their wings droop like all the energy had been sapped out of them.
“I hate that I can’t hate you.”
Noli blinked, and then practically trilled. He had agonized for so long about telling her this, fearing she’d…revoke the feathers she gave him, or cast him out of the cabin, or whatever, but it was…all unfounded. As much as she clung to what she supposedly was, she constantly figured out ways to show she cared.
“1ov3 y0u 700.”