Archive of Our Own

Adrien knew two things about his cousin. One, he had a deep rooted passion for musical theatre that he kept locked down in the deepest corner of his mind, in which he totally understood the obsession of being a music lover himself, and didn’t understand why Félix was so shameful of it. 

Then two, he struggled to apologize. No matter what it was , whether he realized he’d done wrong or not, it was akin to pulling teeth out of a resistant child’s mouth. 

Now, Adrien had seen genuine apologies from Félix, as well as disingenuous apologies, he had a tell. Adrien would never tell Félix that he had this, or else Félix would make every effort to conceal it, utterly appalled by the concept of it. Selfishly, Adrien couldn’t go without that small insight into Félix’s psyche, the small vulnerability that helped him understand him more than Félix ever gave away on his own. 

Whenever he was being genuine, he couldn’t look that person in the eye. His eyes would skirt over everything but the person's face, almost as if he felt afraid of what he might see from his own genuine emotions reflected in another's face. Almost like he was grasping onto that last bit of control he had over himself in a way, avoiding it subconsciously.

Adrien had seen these apologies a few times in his life, mainly directed at himself after a childish argument, Félix’s mother, and rarely at Colt Fathom directly, those apologies happened behind closed doors, away from curious eyes. Félix never talked about those. 

When he was faking however, he would look them right in the eyes, a careful, controlled lilt to his voice as he apologized for whatever wrongdoing he may have caused. Adrien saw this the most with his own father. 

Félix and Gabriel had always butted heads, and majority of the times Adrien can remember his father getting angry at Félix, it wasn’t even something that should’ve been a big deal. Almost as if his sheer existence brought forth an annoyance, settling deep between Gabriel’s eyebrows. Alas, Félix would always pull the same move, big green eyes shimmering innocently, eyebrows furrowed in a guilty slant, a false apology rolling off his tongue. 

Now, Adrien was perfectly aware of his cousin’s flaws, but he changed. After his father passed away, something seemed to shift in his behavior, and it was obvious with everything he had pulled the previous school year, his behavior was a stark difference to the boy he used to know.

He had become someone that Adrien didn’t recognize, the previous mirror of himself now a distant memory, and it had hurt and confused him. Félix had never gone against him like that before, never genuinely. It wasn’t like when they’d play games and be on opposite teams, or harmless pranks that Félix could only pull in the safety of Adrien’s home. This was different, he was more conniving, cruel like he didn’t care who was affected by his actions, as long as he got what he wanted.

Although Adrien felt like he wasn’t getting the full story, especially after what Félix had told him the night of the Diamond’s Dance, the normally bustling city of Paris, silenced by a large glare of red. He had said everything he had done was for him, for them. So they could live freely, which didn’t make a lot of sense to Adrien at the time. To be fair to himself though, his heart was pounding so loudly in his own ears in fear of his girlfriend's fate, his friends and his father’s fate, he hadn’t taken the time to mull over his cousin’s words. 

Why steal the Miraculous, give them to Monarch, and keep one for himself? Why did he need it, that one specifically? He had all of the Miraculous in his grasp, yet he chose the one that Monarch had in his arsenal already. He had made a deal with the devil and came out unscathed, not one lick of flame on his skin. He had clearly made a trade for it. Monarch’s status as, well, a Monarch making that clear. 

He was sure he was missing something, a puzzle piece hidden away out of his grasp from the big picture, the thing that would make it all make sense. But Adrien’s mind was too preoccupied with current matters in his life to make the connections in his head that deep down he craved to make. So for now, he wondered. 

Félix was somehow different again after Adrien’s father died, a quiet presence in the mansion not long after he had arrived home from London. A good difference though, more familiar, more familial. 

 He appeared in Adrien’s doorway a few long hours after he had gotten home from the emotional trainwreck he had just experienced, a conflicted look in his eyes, scanning over Adrien’s misery. He held two travel cups, steam airing out from the top. The two of them hadn’t spoken since the whole red moon fiasco, but at that moment Adrien wasn’t even thinking about it, just focused on his presence. He was here. He could almost forget that Félix was the cause of Monarch’s rise to power. 

He had seemed softer, a gentle look overtaking the previous conflicted features, quietly crossing over the space between them and sitting down next to him. He placed the two cups on Adrien’s coffee table and leaned back to scan his eyes over Adrien, seeming to take in his pained state more effectively from up close. His hands were folded carefully in his lap, hesitant, afraid to bridge the gap that had drifted between them. 

Finally, after a moment of silence, he spoke, voice the gentlest he had heard in ages. 

“I brought peppermint tea from your kitchen, I hope it’s still your favorite. I truly don’t understand why it’s your favorite, but it’s acceptable,“ he shrugged lightly, body language more open than it had been in a long time, “I’ve come around to mint because of you after all. I do hope you’ll drink it, I know you need to consume something at the very least, after the day you’ve had.“ and Adrien isn’t sure why, but that had brought him to tears again, his face contorting and throat closing up with grief. 

He saw the brief panic in Félix’s eyes, could faintly hear his heart jump in surprise, courtesy of his magically advanced hearing, and he could’ve almost laughed at catching his cousin off guard, rare as it is. To his surprise at the time though, Félix grabbed his shoulders gently and pulled him towards him after a brief moment of hesitation, settling his own chin on Adrien’s shoulder. 

He allowed him to feel the torment of his own emotions without being watched, which he had deeply appreciated. He knew Félix understood, they had that in common after all. They stayed there a while, Félix a quiet comfort as Adrien cried. 

Thinking back, Adrien thinks that he had reacted that way because it was made clear to him that Félix still cared, it wasn’t just talk, he knew how Félix showed love and it felt like he was looking into the eyes of his cousin again. He was still there, he wasn’t gone like he had previously worried about. Even though currently there’s plenty of things unsaid between them, Adrien yearned to talk to him and try to work things out. 

After Félix had shown up at the mansion months back, he and his mother stayed at the mansion for two weeks, helping with funeral arrangements and going through his father’s belongings when he couldn’t get himself to. They allowed him his space when he asked for it, and offered their presence when he couldn’t stand the silence anymore. The mansion had already felt empty and void of emotion before his father died, and his passing had made it even worse. 

 Him and Félix never spoke of the issues between them at the time, an awkwardness that was overshadowed by grief and just needing his family, and Adrien was content with this. He knew Félix, the king of avoiding emotionally charged conversations himself, also took advantage of it. 

Aunt Amelie was a constant support, making sure he ate throughout the day, even if it wasn’t a lot, supplying him with a rather concerning abundance of water. She had threatened him more than once, albeit in a kind concerned voice, with hospital visits if he didn’t pick up on his food intake, which had certainly done its job. The sheer idea of inconveniencing hospital staff because he was grieving and as a result not taking care of himself just made him uncomfortable. 

Amelie worked with Nathalie a lot around the mansion, the two working together much better than Adrien expected, though Adrien was mainly glad to see Nathalie moving around like this, the weakness from before practically distant memory, even though she had been like that days prior to his father’s passing. Once again, another thing Adrien filed away in his ‘ mull over later ‘ file. 

He had caught the two of them a few times late at night in the kitchen, quietly laughing and chatting over glasses of wine, a plate of whatever treat they chose between them. And if Adrien caught Nathalie multiple times over the last few months on phone calls with his aunt, well that was Nathalie’s business, not his. 

Félix had stayed around him a lot, and when he wasn’t around him, he was in his guest room, on phone calls with Kagami or watching television with his kwami, Duusu, which Adrien had the pleasure of meeting a week into Félix and Amelie’s visit. She was a blue blur of chatter and kindness, happy one moment and anxious the next. 

Him and Ladybug had discussed Félix keeping the Peacock miraculous more than once since Kagami had defended his character to them, a surprising moment that had caught both of the heroes off guard. Though, seeing how Félix and Duusu simply interacted solidified his thoughts on the matter more in Félix’s favor. 

It was clear they had a strong bond, a softness in Félix's eyes watching her interact with Adrien, a short breath of amusement leaving his nose as she spun around Adrien, chattering about how lovely he was. She clearly had a lot of love to give, and a lot of straightforward, honest opinions, like when she had bluntly stated to Adrien in her high, lilting voice that showering would make him feel less shameful. 

Adrien had found it adorable how comfortable she looked nestled in Félix’s perfectly gelled hair, mussing up the section she chose to make a nest in, effectively worming her way into Félix’s caged soul whether he planned on it or not. 

He hadn’t seemed to care too much when she did this, continuing whatever he was doing without much worry about the kwami of emotion, who would simply nap or watch what he was doing with strong interest. It brought a warmth to Adrien’s heart, wrapping around it and nesting there much like Duusu did to Félix. It reminded him of his own bond with Plagg, and it made him feel content that his cousin had something similar. 

While many things weren’t clear between Adrien or Félix at that moment, or most things in Adrien’s turbulent life for that matter, Félix being the holder of the Peacock miraculous was the clearest thing to his eyes, regardless of how he had decided to acquire it. Though, Adrien was determined to get that explained someday. Argo’s addition to the team seemed to suggest that whatever it was, Ladybug had settled about it, so that comforted his curiosity for now. 

Eventually, after the funeral and wrapping a few more things up, Amelie and Félix went back to London with promises to call and text, as well as make arrangements to visit once again. Adrien had barely concealed his disappointment at their departure, but he was sure Félix knew by the conflicted look that had crossed his face right before he left, almost as if he could feel it. Which he probably had, especially after hearing some of Argo’s reluctant explanations of how his powers worked during the biweekly Miraculer meetings. 

From what he gathered, the Peacock Miraculous was on autopilot at all times, a constant low thrum of emotions, specifically the ones close to him, and if he focused he was able to pinpoint who it was. Félix, as Argos, had referred to himself as a walking mood ring, which had earned a few laughs from their team members. 

Adrien couldn’t help but be curious on how Félix’s powers would grow as they all trained and got stronger, forming into the respected team that Bunnix had spoken about in their upcoming adulthood, but that was a conversation for Chat Noir and Argos, not Adrien and Félix. 

The two of them had spoken mainly through text with a few phone calls over the months since he left, Félix warning he may take longer to respond due to starting university classes. Adrien completely understood of course, but it made the distant awkwardness between them feel worse, tightening around his heart like a vice no matter how much he tried to loosen it. 

Eventually, he had to release it somewhere, and he had gotten brave recently and expressed this to Kagami when he, Marinette and her met to get coffee at a recently opened shop near the mansion. 

“I just want him to talk to me, you know? I’m not even mad anymore really, but I don’t know how to bring it up. He’s been so busy with his classes, I’ve been thinking I should wait until winter break or something, but I don’t know if I should even reach out first, it’s mainly an issue with him— “ he took a breath, “not that I’m saying he’s solely responsible for the lack of communication or anything, which I’m sure you know, but shouldn’t he actually be the one to reach out first? I think he should but maybe he shouldn’t? Does that make me sound bad?“ he cut himself off by taking a rather generous sip of his french-vanilla latte, gesturing with his other hand as the two girls listened to him intently. Kagami hummed, putting her own cup of mocha down, nodding in agreement. 

“I agree, I’ve actually spoken to him a few times about it, but you know how he is Adrien. You should’ve seen how nervous he was to apologize directly to Ladybug and Chat Noir. It went well from what I gathered, but he can be extremely resistant.“ Adrien agreed to this with a hum, not giving too much away but she wasn’t lying. That was a genuine apology, purple irises skirting over the rooftop they were over instead of the heroes directly. 

Ladybug had told him she had also spoken to him privately before then, and he was the same level of nervous, eyes darting around the room when he had apologized to her directly. 

“For some reason though, it’s been even harder to convince him to talk to you. I’ve been wondering who will break first, you’re both incredibly stubborn people,“ she huffed in annoyance, but it was with care for the two boys, “be careful though, your anxious chatter is beginning to sound very Marinette-like.“ she finished in a mildly amused tone, taking a sip of her drink as Marinette playfully glared at her from her spot at Adrien’s side. 

“Don’t say that like it's a bad thing, Kagami,“ she huffed, taking a sip of her own iced black coffee. She turned to Adrien afterwards, a strange look in her eyes as she gently grabbed his free hand, rubbing a thumb over his palm. 

“Personally, I think he should come to you first. Everything he did last year hurt you and the people around you, and I think you have a right to be bothered by it and not want to reach out first. It was his screw up, not yours,“ She said with a shrug of her shoulders, and mildly cringed looking at Kagami, “sorry if that’s a bit harsh to say about your boyfriend.“ she apologized, but Kagami held her hand up with a gentle smile. 

“Don’t worry, it's quite alright. I agree with you actually, I adore the boy but he can be quite resistant when it comes to resolving personal matters, even when I can tell he deeply yearns to.“ she explained calmly, and something in Adrien’s mind had settled at her agreement. 

“So I should just be patient with him then? I guess I owe him that, considering how he was to me after everything went down back in May.“ he said with a gentle shrug, busying himself with his latte as the girls agreed. 

“I’d say so for now, but believe me, if it goes on too long I’ll drag that boy out of his dorm by myself,“ she shakes her head in exasperation, “a part of him would probably be grateful, I’m sure you’ve heard about his roommate at least once.“ Kagami said bluntly, making Adrien and Marinette giggle as they had settled into a casual conversation about an upcoming event at their school. 

Adrien had thought about that conversation more than he’d like to admit. Only two weeks had passed since then, and while he was trying to be patient, he had to admit to himself that it was difficult. Thinking back on it has distracted him from his study session in the school library, and he pushes the books back with a gentle sigh, burying his face in his hands, cold metal on both hands pressing into his skin. A gentle comfort. 

There was so much he wanted to talk about with his cousin, but the awkwardness between them had prevented it. He hadn’t brought up meeting their grandparents, his new interest in running, or his recent discovery of old childhood memories in their texts, he didn’t know how to discuss any of it with him, with how different things felt between them. 

Their last text was a few days prior, a picture from Félix from the streets of England, a golden tabby cat with green eyes in an alleyway with a croissant, which was given to it by Félix if the previous photo of the small bag of croissants from an english-french bakery was to be connected. 

Félix sent him pictures of animals often due to a conversation they had during Félix and Amelie’s stay, Adrien giving away that he adored animals, and would often scroll through social media for videos and pictures for simple comfort. Félix had called him basic, but he seemed to never forget it, logging it into his brain. 

It was another subtle way of Félix showing he cares, sending him various images of different animals he encounters whenever he sees one. It brought a gentle smile to Adrien’s face every time, a gentle comfort knowing their previous bond wasn’t completely wrecked. 

Félix always included a perfectly punctuated text along with them, telling him the story of how he encountered the animal, and the text that had followed this recent photo was no different. 

 ‘I came across this tabby on a walk back to campus after I decided to run over to this bakery for lunch. I'm pretty sure it’s a stray, so I gave it a croissant and made a quick call to the nearby shelter to come pick it up. I would take it myself, it's pretty friendly, but my next class is about to start and this professor is extremely strict, got a stick up his ass for sure. Imagine the chef that used to work for my family, Mr. Chaine, then add about 40 more years of pure anger and spite and you got my professor. Anyways, as I’m typing this I’m walking into his lecture, so enjoy the feline and be assured it is fed and on its way to a shelter.‘ 

Adrien had reacted to the text with a simple heart and quick acknowledgement of the Fathom’s old chef, who truly did act ridiculously miserable all of the time. Since then, they hadn’t spoken, and the lack of talking is bothering Adrien more than it normally does.

 Adrien decides to stop ruminating in his thoughts in his school’s very public library; the majority of the students and staff had gone home by now anyway. He quickly gathered his books into his bag, pulling his jacket back and peeking in at Plagg, who was still in his self-induced cheese coma from earlier in the day, and he began the trek home. 

He enjoyed walking home these days, even though the weather was starting to get a little chillier as autumn really set into the Parisian streets. He could handle a little cold, and welcomed it. People looked at him often, staring, whispering to themselves or offering condolences, which he responded to with rehearsed phrases, empty and void as he made his way to the mansion, getting there within fifteen minutes and walking inside. 

He stretches, connecting his hands above his head as he walks up the stairs, trying not to pay too much attention to how much his simple footsteps seem to echo in the vast space. He turns towards an occupied room to say hello to Nathalie before hearing her on the phone, his sensitive hearing picking up a bit of the conversation before he gets close to the door, his aunt’s familiar—some days too familiar— voice ringing in his ears. He backs up, deciding to greet her later in the day and respect her privacy as he turns on his heel to go into his room instead. 

He might just hop in the shower and hope the hot water washes away his conflicted thoughts, then go up into his rather sad stowaway bedroom he fashioned for himself and watch some movies on his laptop, or call Marinette. She always had a way of calming his mind, and simply thinking of her settled something in his chest as he opened his bedroom door, and was instantly stopped in his tracks at the familiar gelled head sitting on his couch. 

Félix turned around the second he heard Adrien’s cut off breath, standing up quickly, a brief flash of surprise crossing his features. 

“Adrien! I wasn’t sure you’d be home, I know school ended for you a few hours ago. I know I should’ve called, I was going to but I decided to maintain some mystery, I’m sure a small part of you may appreciate the theatrics,“ he said in a mildly rushed manner, his muted fear obvious, but a distinct calmness settled over his face as Adrien relaxed at his words, walking into the room more and closing the door behind him with a gentle click, and suddenly that click didn’t feel as blaring in the nearly vacant mansion.

“I was not expecting to see you at all, so the surprise is appreciated,“ Adrien says in a mildly amused tone, placing his bag down as he moves to the couch, pulling Félix into a quick hug. He hasn’t physically seen him in months after all, if he doesn’t include their interactions as Chat Noir and Argos. He feels Félix briefly inhale in surprise, but he hugs him back with surprising fervor. The two separate after a moment, an awkward air settling between them as they sit on the couch. 

“Not that I don’t enjoy impromptu visits, but what are you doing here? It’s the middle of the school week, don't you have night classes or something?“ Adrien asks, fiddling with the twin rings on his finger as Félix hums. 

“I have night classes on Thursdays and Fridays, it’s Tuesday and I only had one class this morning because the second one was cancelled, so I decided to bite the bullet and make my way down here.“ he says with a shrug, leaning back into the couch and looking at Adrien with a mildly nervous look, which Adrien immediately raised a brow at. 

“I’m kinda surprised you aren’t taking the opportunity to spend time with your girlfriend? You and Kagami don’t see each other too often do you?“ he asks, surprised at Félix’s mildly amused look. 

“I see her pretty often, don’t worry. It’s pretty easy when you have a miraculous after all.“ he says with a wave of his hand, settling it over his breastbone. Adrien hums, pushing the small ping of hurt in his gut down. He hadn’t even thought of that, Félix could’ve showed up so many times, but chose not to for whatever stubborn reason he had decided upon. 

“Besides, I wanted to be here,“ that catches Adrien’s attention, eyes drifting back to his cousin’s face, “I know I could’ve just gone to your school, but truthfully, I already had a bit of an aggravating train ride here, so I wanted to just sit up here in the quiet and decompress. Trust me, you don’t want to be essentially a walking mood ring all of the time, so many people on the train were so miserable.“ Félix explains with a dramatic shiver. Adrien hums, nodding in agreement, a part of his brain appreciating the callback to the joke he had made to the Miraculers, though he couldn’t give that away. 

“It sounds like it can be overwhelming, being a walking mood ring.“ he states in a mildly amused tone, heart warming at the short breath that leaves Félix’s nose, his lips upturned. 

“Oh believe me, it definitely can be sometimes. All people do is feel, and there’s too much going on in the Metro. Duusu did tell me I’ll get better at filtering things out as I keep training, so I have that to look forward to, I suppose.“  he sighs and places his hands in his lap, seeming like he’s thinking something over. Adrien looks him over curiously, only just noticing how tense he seems to be. 

“I’m assuming you aren’t just here for a regular family reunion, am I right?“ Adrien asks, and Félix breathes harshly out of his nose, nodding solemnly. 

“Yes, you are correct.  Truthfully, I’m here because I’ve been meaning to talk to you. For a long time, actually,“ he admits with a brush of his hands over his suit, a common habit of his. Something in Adrien bristles a little, and he tries to settle himself on the couch more, fiddling with his rings but keeping his eyes on his cousin, studying his tensed up form curiously. 

“What about? I mean, I have a few ideas but–“ 

“I’m sorry. For everything.“ 

Adrien blinks in surprise, and watches as Félix shifts uncomfortably, eyes skirting more over the seams in the couch cushions than Adrien himself, inner turmoil obvious. Adrien can hear his elevated heart rate, the anxiety spiking in his cousin’s body clear as day. 

“I know that I screwed up badly last year, and while I cannot fully explain my actions right now, I swear to you that I will one day, hopefully sooner than later, I just can’t just yet,“ a nervous twitch of his fingers, irritation apparent, “I know it sounds like I’m making some big excuse for it all, but believe me when I say that you’ll understand once I can tell you.“ he explains, a frustration gathering in between his brows, words unsaid and left to hover in the air between them. It leaves Adrien a bit confused but he allows him the space to gather his thoughts. Félix takes a deep breath, continuing. 

“I know I don’t have much space to ask you to understand and give me the time for that, but I’m asking for it anyway. I promise it’ll all make sense someday,“ he takes a deep breath, shifting uncomfortably under Adrien’s gaze, “I am genuinely sorry though, I do want to fix things between us, if you also want that. I do understand if not, though.“ Félix says, oddly gentle, turning away fully, allowing Adrien to process his words as he leans his elbows on his knees, folding his hands under his chin. 

The genuine apology has Adrien smiling to himself unconsciously, chest warm, and he hums, leaning forward to meet Félix’s conflicted stare with that same smile. 

“If I’m being honest, I’m a little confused with whatever you’re leaving out, and still kind of frustrated, but I’m willing to give you the time to open up more about it. I really appreciate the apology, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to talk about this. I’ve missed you.“ he admits carefully, watching Félix’s carefully constructed armor loosen in real time. He could practically hear the metal plates drop. His eyes soften, blinking at Adrien in surprise. 

“You don’t hate me? Spite me for everything I did? You miss me?“ he asks in a serious tone, eyebrow lifting, and Adrien shakes his head, a laugh jumping out of his throat. 

“Hate you?! Félix, you and I have been close our entire lives, we had a rough patch. A uh, admittedly very rough patch, but I knew it was salvageable. I never hated you. Yes, I was angry. I was hurt and confused, but I didn’t hate you. I was more concerned about you if anything.“ he explains, watching Félix’s eyebrows furrow, and he knits his hands together, leaning his elbows on his knees as he thinks. 

“So…what you’re saying is, you forgive me?“ he asks cautiously, eyes drifting upwards to catch Adrien’s own. Green on green. Adrien snorts, nodding. 

“Yes, I do. I’m willing to give you another chance, plus I kind of owe you after you were my own personal grief pillow a few months back.“ he jokes lightly, the recent event still stinging his subconscious, and he watches Félix’s uncertainty melt away, a more calculating look falling across his features. 

“You’re being genuinely serious, you’re actually not mad right now,“ he states out loud, and Adrien’s unsure how much of that was meant to be said directly to him or to Félix himself, almost as if he was analyzing the conversation from an outside perspective. 

“Had to use your mood ring for that?“ he asks, amused, and Félix snorts, hand brushing over the brooch subconsciously. 

“Autopilot Adrien, autopilot. It’s useful in situations like this. You’re an emotional person, and while I know you well I can’t know where your head is at all the time just by looking at you.“ he admits with a short wave of his hand, faint amusement dancing in his irises. 

“You mean you like to utilize the brooch when your emotionally stunted self is presented with an emotionally charged situation.“ 

”Precisely.“

 The two laugh lightly, the mood already feeling lighter, the awkwardness in the air beginning to fade away. 

“Speaking of the brooch…where’s Duusu?“ he asks curiously, and Félix hums, pulling back his suit vest a little and reaching his other hand in, carefully holding his kwami in his hand, asleep. 

“She was up all night watching this romcom she’s become utterly obsessed with, so I let her nap for the majority of today. I doubt she needed to actually sleep this much, but I’ve entertained it.“ Félix explains gently, a fond look crossing over his face at the sleeping kwami, who chirps lightly in her sleep at the movement. 

“You can’t tell me she hasn’t gotten you hooked on at least one of them.“ he asks with a quirked eyebrow, Félix rolling his eyes in response, placing her back in his vest gently. 

“Only like, two of them. Some of them have such terrible acting, Aunt Emilie definitely would’ve judged them harshly, I just know it. Duusu loves it regardless though, she can’t help herself.“ he explains, and Adrien can’t help but agree. He had definitely heard his mom many times in the past complain about subpar actors, times when the two of them would be cuddled up together in her bed when he was young. 

His mother could be incredibly kind, but she was also blunt and honest when needed, and she was extremely blunt and honest when it came to bad actors in whatever they watched. 

“Anyways, emotionally charged conversation aside, how have you been otherwise?“ Félix asks, looking genuinely curious. Adrien can hear the question within the question though, just by looking at the light concern shining in Félix’s eyes. 

“I’m…handling it all. I’m getting through it, day by day. Some days are much harder than others, but having Marinette and our friends has definitely helped a lot.  I think I can say I’m okay, today at least.“ he admits, not seeing any point in dodging the question with the resident empath sitting next to him. Félix hums in approval at his answer, pulling his shoeless feet up on the couch, turning towards Adrien with his legs crossed. 

“I’m glad that you’re okay today, I’ve been meaning to ask more. I will ask more. I hope my animal pictures I’ve been sending you have been helping a little, at least.“ Félix says with an awkward lilt to his voice, and Adrien nods in approval, leaning back onto the arm of the couch.

“They have, thank you, I especially enjoy the paragraphs of reenactment you give me.“ he smiles, his lips turning up higher at Félix’s huff, looking down at his hands, turning his ring absentmindedly. 

“I enjoy explanations…“ 

“I know you do, “ Adrien says, shifting to gain his cousin's attention again, “How have you been? I’ve heard bits and pieces from Kagami, of course, but it’s not from the direct source of my questions.“ he hits his knee against Félix’s, who looks up with a blink. 

“I’ve been well, my classes have been good, my roommate can be a bit…much but it’s tolerable, but I’ve told you about him, already,“ he huffs, “but I haven’t been doing too much, mainly just school, visiting Kagami when I can, and going to weekly meetings with the…Miraculers.“ 

Adrien has to resist giggling at the disdain in Félix’s voice at the mention of the team, knowing it’s only for show. He’s seen the longing looks in his cousin’s eyes during their training and various meetings, like he wants to try and form friendships, but he never makes the move, choosing to stay near the walls of the subway instead. 

“I don’t know much about the superheroes, but it’s clear to me you’ve been working on yourself, at least. I can see it pretty clearly.“ Adrien comments, and Félix seems confused at his statement. 

“What do you mean?“ he asks, shoulder’s relaxing, a curious lilt to his eyebrow. 

“Well you know, the whole joining a team of superheroes thing is a big green flag to me. Kagami’s mentioned that you’ve been working on yourself too, she speaks very highly of you,“ he says back with a shrug, “plus, I’m seeing a lot less plotting, you seem calmer, less…nefarious.“ he says the last part in a joking tone, and he watches Félix’s face shift into something fleeting, an insecurity flashing in his eyes Adrien hasn’t seen on display in a long time. 

“I’m no hero, Adrien. Not like they are. I’m…working on it,“ he explains, gesturing to himself mildly, “I have been trying to be a better person, but I’m truthfully unsure how well I’m actually doing.“ Adrien shakes his head at the boy’s words, amused. 

“Oh don’t sell yourself short, I saw that news article a few weeks back, and if I remember correctly it said, and I quote  ‘Argos Saves Infant From Collapsing Building’.“ he quotes to him, watching Félix frown in response.

“Just because I saved a baby doesn’t mean I’m suddenly some tier one superhero Adrien. That team is full of positivity and optimism and I’m—well, not. Truthfully I’m unsure if they even like me.“ he admits, the air tinged with a sour taste of wariness, which makes Adrien frown in turn. 

“Not to sound all woe-is-me or anything, that’s not my intention.“ Félix clarifies, sinking back into the couch deeply, a heavy sigh escaping his lips. Adrien laughs lightly, sinking back in the couch in earnest. 

“I think you’re giving yourself too little credit, but you’re stubborn, I can’t convince you. Plus, if you want them to like you, why don’t you just try being a bit more open? Not so…closed off. You might just be intimidating them a little.“ Adrien states with a wave of his hand, watching Félix’s eyes follow the movement. 

“I’m not like you Adrien, I don’t just simply reek of friendliness, you’d be much better at this than I am, I’m sure.“ he mutters with a frown, fidgeting lightly with his own ring, nestled between his middle and pinkie finger like it was simply meant to be there. He seems to suddenly realize something, turning sharply, squinting at Adrien. 

“Hey—hey wait a minute, this isn’t about me. I came here to make things right with you, not for you to turn into my own personal therapist, thanks but no thanks.“ Félix brushes himself absentmindedly, ridding himself of the emotional baggage of the day as Adrien huffs, shaking his head. 

“Hey, therapists aren’t all bad, I have one now. She’s pretty nice, I think you’d like her.“ he says with an absent shrug, having to hold back a laugh at the disbelief on Félix’s face. 

“You have a therapist.“ he states simply, not a question, not an accusation, but the apprehension is clear on his face. Adrien nods, raising an eyebrow. 

“Is that a bad thing?“ he asks his perturbed visual twin, who shakes his head quickly, putting a hand up in defense.  

“No, no of course not, I’m glad you found someone for that, I’m just surprised. Our family isn’t exactly the…getting help with mental health problems type of family.“ he explains, settling, brushing his hair out of his eye. 

“Well, someone has to break the cycle eventually. It has made me wonder though, if my dad got a therapist, maybe he wouldn’t have been as miserable as he was.“ Adrien states calmly, and Félix hums in agreement. 

“They would’ve recommended he also get parenting classes, maybe then he wouldn’t have been so lackluster.“ Félix says amusedly, clearly testing the waters of how far he could go with this conversation. Adrien laughs lightly, nodding in agreement. 

“It would’ve been called ‘ How to Not Have Your Child Hate You in 10 Steps ‘.“ he says, putting his hands out widely, showcasing the imaginary poster. Félix smiles, genuine and earnest, a smile Adrien missed seeing.

“Him and my father could’ve bonded in there, and they both would’ve failed the class.“ he adds on, and Adrien shakes his head in amusement, a smile dancing across his lips. He was surprised, distantly, that Félix mentioned his own father, a rare occurrence since his passing. 

It was clearly a sore subject for him, which was entirely fair from the bits and pieces he could put together himself on his uncle. There was plenty he was unaware of when it came to the relationship between Félix and his father, and he didn’t want to ask unless he had to, he’d rather Félix opened up on his own about that. Though he had his suspicions, none of them good, but the suspicions alone made him glad the man was gone from Félix and his aunt’s lives. 

“Hey, should I order a pizza or something? Do you want to stay and actually properly hang out without the emotionally charged conversations, or are you going to leave?“ Adrien asks, and Félix blinks, grabbing his phone, looking at the time. 

“I suppose I can stay, though the weather app does say there’s going to be a bad storm soon, I may end up stuck here,“ the younger explains with a shrug, and Adrien nods, moving to stand. 

“Well, if you end up needing to stay the night, it’s no big deal, if you don’t mind sleeping on the couch? You can just leave early in the morning, since we both have school tomorrow.“ he offers, and Félix nods, pocketing his phone again as Adrien picks up his own to make the call, looking over his shoulder. 

“Vegetarian still, right?“ he asks, his cousin’s blank expression his answer, and he proceeds to order a half cheese-half veggie supreme pizza for the two of them. 

A bit later, the two are in lounge clothes, Adrien having lended a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt to Félix, who had just come back from a shower. His hair is messier, free of gel as he eats his veggie pizza, the two watching one of the rom-coms a now awake Duusu had recommended, a new one she wanted to start. 

“Oh, by the way,” Félix starts, casual and soft, and Adrien looks over, curious, “Me and my mom are looking into apartments in Paris.” 

Adrien blinks, then blinks again, “Wait, what?” he gapes, eyes wide, and the vaguest smirk twitches onto Félix’s lips, eyes still on the screen, “Are you serious?” 

Félix nods, leaning back into the couch and turning his head, “Yeah, she brought it up to me like…two months ago? Truthfully, there’s too many…memories attached to the penthouse, and we both agreed moving here might be a nice change of scenery,” he explains, turning his head to look at Adrien directly, “plus, it’ll be nice to be here. I think it’s time we live closer to one another.” he smiles softly, though his tone feels heavier than the softness in his face. 

He’s leaving something unsaid, Adrien isn’t sure what exactly, but gives him the reprieve for now. 

“Fé, this is probably the greatest news I’ve heard in weeks!” Adrien can’t help his excitement at the idea, and Félix huffs, pulling his plate closer to himself when Adrien shifts, taking a bite of his pizza, a smile twitching onto his face. Duusu settles on Adrien’s head suddenly, making his attention drift up to the kwami, who chitters in excitement. 

“Paris is so beautiful! Félix told me he’ll take me to the gardens once they’re moved in, I’m really looking forward to it!” they squeal, settling against Adrien’s hair. Adrien huffs in amusement, settling into the couch more comfortably, before a question pops into his mind. 

“Wait, what about university?” he asks, eyes wide, and Félix shrugs, eyes glued to the screen.

“I’m not quitting, if that’s what you’re worried about. I’ll just make the commute, or switch a few of my classes to online so I don’t have to go up there as often. I’m figuring it out, no big deal. Plus, I may be transferring to another university closer to Paris for the spring semester, anyway, so it’ll only be a few months of annoyance, at the most.” he explains, and Adrien hums, eyes drifting back to the rather dramatic shenanigans happening in the romcom. 

He’s not sure what the future will bring, unsure and truthfully a bit anxious. He hasn’t had a good year, but he’s sure things will improve, they already have been. Today is just another piece of proof to that. 

And whatever secret Félix is keeping? They’ll figure it out, he’s sure of it.