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Harvey had been in his office for nearly two hours and hadn’t been disturbed by anyone. Which is weird , Louis hadn’t come in to have an existential crisis, Mike hadn’t shown up since that morning, and worst of all, Donna hadn’t walked past his office even once. In fact, she hadn’t gotten up from her desk since lunch, and that really wasn’t like her.
She was the type to come over and give him the most useless pieces of information in person. Sometimes she would come by just to annoy him, tease him, and play around with him.
He always pretended that it bothered him, but deep down, Harvey loved those little moments they shared.
Donna was a radiant person, the most radiant one he had ever known.
Not seeing her even once that day was worrying.
She hadn’t even stopped by to make a comment after a client had left. She listened to all of his conversations through the intercom. He could do the same, but he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, and besides, that was her privilege.
He looked in her direction and saw her head resting on her desk.
Intrigued, he stood up and walked over to her. She wasn’t wearing a dress today. Donna had on black pants with a beautiful fitted light pink shirt, a few of the top buttons undone, giving her a more relaxed look. He also noticed that the pink heels matching her shirt were shorter than the ones she usually wore.
“You know that taking naps during working hours can be deducted from your paycheck,” he said, throwing in a light joke to start the conversation.
She lifted her head toward him, and he understood. Donna was sick.
Her nose was red, probably from blowing it so much. Her tired, glassy eyes and weakened posture were anything but normal.
She forced herself to put on a small smile, and he found her adorable.
“Wow, what happened to you?”
“I’m sick, Harvey. You know the concept?” she said dryly, her voice deeper and shaky than usual.
“I can see that, but why did you come in?”
She looked at him and frowned.
“Are you saying I’m less beautiful than usual?”
“That’s not what—”
“I know, I’m kidding.” She giggled. “And I came because I know you wouldn’t last a day without me, pumpkin.”
“Donna, it’s 2 p.m. I think you should go home and get some rest. I don’t have anything planned this afternoon, and even if something comes up, I can handle it.”
“No, Harvey. I’m finishing my day.”
She straightened up, hoping to show him that the fatigue wasn’t getting the better of her, and turned back toward her computer. She grabbed her pen and tried to write something in her notebook, but Harvey took her hand, stopping her.
“This isn’t a request, Donna. It’s an order.”
“You’re giving me orders now?” she teased.
“If I see that you like it, I’ll do it more often.”
They looked at each other and smiled. They loved taking little jabs at each other, making subtle remarks and joking about their relationship. It was their special way of showing each other that they mattered, and that everything they said to each other had a meaning.
Donna loved Harvey’s smile, the way the corners of his lips lifted and his eyes slightly crinkled. He had several different smiles, and over the years, she had seen almost all of them.
When he flirted, when he was sad, happy, or embarrassed but her favorite of all was the one he wore when he was with her.
It was softer, and seemed more genuine. He had already smiled at her that way when he came to get her after the Coastal Motors case and when he was working at the DA’s Office.
“Seriously, Donna, take the afternoon off. Ask Ray to drop you home, and if something comes up, I’ll let you know. And you keep me updated on how you’re feeling, too.”
“Okay, Harvey. I’ll just finish this file. I only have a few words left to type, and then I’ll leave.”
Harvey nodded and returned to his office, she found his concern sweet. Harvey often played the tough guy and never let anything get to him, but she had spent twelve years by his side. They had shared drinks, told each other good and bad news. They had been through such difficult times, and having each other there had kept them strong. They had even slept together once, but it was a memory Donna was trying to force herself to forget.
Harvey was also trying to forget that “mistake.” In reality, Donna was the one who had called it that. To him, it hadn’t been one. In fact, everything that involved her was unique, but he would never tell her such a thing. It wasn’t professional, and she wanted to keep things professional.
He watched her pack her bag a few minutes after their conversation and leave the office. His heart tightened. He knew how to handle his affairs without her, but knowing she was there, just behind the glass, gave him a little more courage.
He told himself it was for her own good, and he also thought that it would have been selfish to watch her suffer and leave her like that.
Ray told him that Donna had arrived home safely. He continued working. He helped Mike deal with a small problem involving Rachel. And he took the opportunity to send Donna a message.
“Mike and Rachel are acting like children. I don’t understand how you always know what to say to Rachel. How are you feeling?”
He waited nearly three hours for a response, but she didn’t give any sign of life. He sent her another message around 7p.m.
“Taking a long nap?”
He sent it and went to see Jessica.
He stayed with her for a while, sharing drinks and talking. He loved her dearly. She was an important figure in his life, and he was incredibly grateful to her for everything she had done to make him the man he was today.
They went downstairs together, and Jessica asked him about Donna’s absence. He explained the situation to her, and she reassured him that he had made the right decision.
When he was finally alone, he took out his phone and called Donna. Once, then twice, but she didn’t answer.
He started to worry. She didn’t give him any news like she promised since she had left the firm.
He got into the car beside Ray and asked him to take him to Donna’s place.
He thought about it during the drive. Was it normal for him to go there? She was his friend, and he was worried about her, so did that give him the right to go check if she was okay? And then a whirlwind of questions flooded his mind. What if she had a boyfriend? That would explain why she hadn’t answered. He was probably taking care of her. Right?
No, she probably would have told him.
When he arrived in front of door 206, he hesitated. He was genuinely worried about her, but he didn’t want her to be angry with him or break his heart by telling him she wasn’t alone.
He pushed the thought out of his mind and knocked on the door. He waited for a moment and knocked again, harder this time, but no one answered. When he finally accepted that there was nothing he could do and turned around to leave, he heard a click and felt the door open. He turned around.
“Harvey?” Her voice was so weak that he thought it was a hallucination.
“Donna.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked at her.
She was wearing pajamas, a casual outfit. She had on black pants that were far too long for her and a burgundy spaghetti-strap top with some kind of black cardigan over it. Her nose was even redder than it had been that morning, and she was leaning against the door, probably to keep herself from falling.
“It’s 10 p.m., Harvey. What’s going on?”
“I texted you and called you. You didn’t answer, so I got worried.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I slept all afternoon and just woke up. I left my phone in the living room.”
They stood there in an awkward silence. He didn’t know whether he should leave or stay. He was a little unsettled because he had never really taken care of someone before, someone who was sick.
“Did you have dinner?” Donna asked, breaking the silence.
“Not yet. I just came from work. What about you?”
“Me neither. If you want, come in and we can order something to eat.”
He smiled tenderly and stepped forward. He walked in and closed the door behind him. He took off his shoes and followed Donna toward the kitchen.
He sat down on one of the counter stools and took off his jacket.
“Donna, I sent you home so you could take care of yourself, but if you needed me, you should’ve taken me with you.”
“What makes you think I didn’t?”
“You still haven’t eaten, and I hope you didn’t take any medication without eating first.”
She laughed softly and turned toward her phone to place the order. She was barefoot and paced around as she placed the order, and he thought he would like to see this version of her more often. She took off her cardigan and casually tossed it onto the couch, and he noticed that she was sweating profusely. Her face was flushed, and her breathing was heavy.
“Fuck,” he heard her mutter.
He stood up and followed her. She was in the living room, opening the window.
“Donna, it’s like 10 degrees outside. What are you doing?”
“I’m so hot, I feel like I can’t breathe!”
From the tone of her voice, he could tell she was irritated, and as he got closer, he noticed how much she was sweating. He stepped toward her and placed his hand on her forehead. She closed her eyes and let out a breath at the feeling of the coolness.
“Donna, you’re burning up! You have a fever.”
He walked around her and closed the window.
“Okay, we’re going to eat soon, and in the meantime, go check your medicine cabinet to see if you have anything for the fever, and I’ll get some cold towels ready.”
“Okay. You’ll find everything you need in my bathroom.”
He walked into the bathroom and saw the sink in front of him. There was a large mirror with several small cabinets underneath for storage. He stepped closer and noticed all the little beauty products lined up on both sides of the counter. It was completely different from his. Hers was much fuller and more colorful. He only had soap and a toothbrush, whereas she had liquid hand soap, a bottle labeled “cleansing gel,” as well as a pretty white container with floral patterns holding a purple toothbrush and some toothpaste. He didn’t understand much of what the rest of it was. There were three brushes and some makeup next to them.
He opened the first drawer and found a large number of products, all kinds of bottles, with a delicious scent coming from them. He opened the second one. He had no idea what was inside, but it certainly wasn’t towels. He turned around to get a better look. She had completely changed everything since the last time he had been there. It was more understated and organized now. He found another small cabinet in the corner with doors, and when he opened them, he found plenty of towels. He picked two small ones and headed toward the kitchen. He found Donna sitting there with a large box filled with medicine.
“Did you find anything for the fever?”
“Yes, but it was expired, so I’m looking for another one. What took you so long?”
He looked at her with a confused expression. He had spent more time than expected.
“You have so much stuff in there.”
They smiled at each other before Harvey grabbed a bowl, filled it with cold water, and soaked the towels. There was something warm and gentle about the fact that they were together in the kitchen, helping each other ease Donna’s suffering. And seeing her in her own environment, so different from usual and more relaxed, warmed his heart. He had seen her in various outfits outside of work, but the fact that they were both confined to this intimacy, away from work ,with no pressure, made him realize that he wanted to share many more moments like this with Donna than paperwork at the office.
He heard the doorbell ring and saw Donna jump out of her chair to answer it. He heard her laugh softly before she came back with their order in her hands. She placed it on the coffee table near the couch and returned to the kitchen. She grabbed 2 glasses and cutlery, set the table, and took a bottle of soda from her fridge when she noticed him standing frozen in the middle of the kitchen.
“Are you okay? Come eat,” she said.
“Oh, yeah. I’m here.”
He followed her, and they sat side by side on the couch, their knees brushing against each other. He watched her unpack the order and carefully place each dish on the table. She opened her box. It was pasta with a white sauce and mushrooms. He watched her struggle to get the tagliatelle onto her fork before shoving it into her mouth, and he swore it was the cutest thing he had ever seen.
He turned to his own meal. She had gotten him a burger, fries, and nuggets. She knew him far too well, and the thought made him smile.
“Bon appétit,” she said.
“Thanks. You too.”
They continued eating while talking and sharing anecdotes. Donna was happy and content that he had come to keep her company. He wasn’t the kind of person who made time to comfort others, but the fact that he had made some for her and managed to make her feel so special made her feel incredibly good. And she really liked seeing him hanging around her apartment, relaxed, different from all the other times he had come to see her there. There was something more… familiar about it? She wanted moments like this to become more common, but she knew she couldn’t ask for more.
Friends took care of each other, worried about each other, ate together. They called and texted each other to check in, right? She tried not to romanticize any of this and end up heartbroken. But seeing Harvey in front of her, enjoying his burger like a five-year-old and making stupid jokes, certainly wasn’t helping.
When they finished, Donna started clearing the table, but Harvey stopped her.
“Let me take care of it. Get some rest. I’ll come back and check if you still have a fever.”
His voice was so soft and soothing.
He put everything away, making sure to throw out the trash and put the little bit of dirty dishes in the sink. He then took his bowl, added a few ice cubes to make it colder, and brought it into the living room.
“Lie down.”
She did as he said. He knelt in front of her and placed a hand on her forehead. She still had a fever.
“Did you find any medicine?”
“No.”
He nodded, then rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, dipped the first towel into the cold water, and wrung it out. He carefully brushed a few strands of her hair behind her ears before gently placing the cold towel on Donna’s forehead. She let out a long hiss at the sensation against her skin and closed her eyes. He took a second towel and did the same thing, placing it in the crook of her elbow.
“Hopefully this will bring your temperature down.”
“Where did you learn all that?”
“A good magician never reveals his secrets.”
She watched him carefully. He was so close, and Donna could make out every detail of his face. But she couldn’t figure out what was going on in his mind, or what his eyes were reflecting.
“Why are you doing all of this, Harvey?”
Her question caught him off guard. He hadn’t expected them to get into a conversation. Harvey thought they would simply spend this moment together and file it away like they always did, but Donna clearly wanted to put words to it.
“You’re sick. I had to help.”
“This isn’t the first time I’ve gotten sick in twelve years.”
“But it’s the first time I’ve seen you sick.”
The words came out before he could even think about them, and he saw her hold her breath. She looked away, and he couldn’t tell whether she was blushing or if it was still the fever. Neither of them made another comment. Harvey simply kept refreshing the towels and stayed sitting beside her.
He turned on the TV and found a channel showing a movie, so they let themselves get lost in it. The movie was called « How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days » and it looked like a romantic comedy.
Harvey found himself smiling a few times at the heroine’s lines and random behavior.
He was enjoying the moment until the two characters discovered the deception between them. Everything suddenly became chaotic.
“You can’t lose something you never had.”
He stared at the screen for a moment after hearing that line, and it hit him like a slap in the face. It reminded him of someone. Himself.
Him, who was so afraid of losing Donna, of one day having to continue his life and his work without her. She wasn’t immortal and wouldn’t stay by his side forever, and he realized that he had never had actually Donna.
Never in the way that would allow her to share everything with him until the end of time. She was his secretary, and she had no obligation to take care of him the way she did.
Everything they had was based on a professional relationship, on jokes, teasing, and wordplay, but nothing concrete. And his heart tightened at the thought.
He turned his head toward her. Donna was fast asleep. He was somewhat relieved that he had witnessed that scene alone. She hadn’t had to see his reaction or the little panic that had taken hold of him.
He stood up and watched her sleep for a moment. She looked so relaxed and safe. Her eyes were closed, her mouth slightly open, her chest rising and falling with the rhythm of her breathing.
He gently removed the towels and decided to carry her to her bedroom. He wasn’t going to let her sleep on that couch and wake up with a backache on top of being sick.
He slipped one hand under her head and the other behind her knees and carried her to her bedroom. He gently laid her down on the bed and pulled the comforter over her.
Proud of himself, he was about to turn around and leave when he felt a soft hand take his. He looked back at her.
“Stay with me. I don’t want you to leave. I’m cold.”
“Donna, I don’t know…”
“Please. I need this. Just for tonight.”
He hesitated for a moment. She had a fever, and he didn’t know if she was truly aware of what she was saying. He didn’t want this to become something they would argue about or something they would use against each other whenever they went through a rough patch.
He sighed and slipped under the comforter beside her. Donna moved closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder before burying her face in the crook of his neck. She wrapped her arms around his waist, and Harvey felt like his heart had stopped for a moment.
He stayed perfectly still for a while, trying to focus on anything other than Donna’s breath tickling his beard, the warmth of her body against his or the vanilla scent she carried. He gently stroked her back and allowed himself to give in to this new closeness. He felt her drift off to sleep in his arms, and it wasn’t long before exhaustion took over and he joined her in the arms of Morpheus.
The next morning, Harvey had left very early, not wanting to put her in an awkward situation. He had only left behind a little post-it note stuck to her fridge, that he probably took from her desk.
“Take your time getting to the office, with all those products of yours. I might even give you a raise because it looks like it’s pretty complicated to put on makeup.”