Chapter Text
It was a nice day, late spring. Today was the day of the annual royal ball, hosted by The Most Ancient House of Blacks, the one day the Black brothers were actually excited for. This night had no rules. They could be anyone they wanted for as long as the moon isn’t replaced by the sun. This night was special to them no matter what but this time it would be different, even more special for the two boys, young man now, who never got to see past the castle walls. This year their father has decided to open the gates to their kingdom to the remaining three kingdoms as a symbol of peace and union. The brothers were currently getting ready for the night, both equally excided only one was showing it more than the other.
“Come on Reggie, don’t try to hide it! I know you’re looking forward to this as much as I do.” Said Sirius Black, the crown prince of The House of Blacks. Only a nineteen-years-old young man who was already named the jewel of the kingdoms. His reputation exceeds himself as he is said to be the most beautiful man the sun has ever touched. However, he wasn’t quite as proud as the rumor has it. He was kind, caring and selfless with a dose of sass for which he was often punished.
“Yes, because the fact that this is the last night I am free is supposed to excite me and not bring me down.” Regulus Black rolled his eyes at his brother.
Regulus Black, the youngest child of the Black family. Though he’s only a year younger than his brother, the king could never see them as equal. While all of the attention was on Sirius their whole childhood, Regulus would often feel neglected by his father. Sirius’s purpose was to lead all the kingdoms one day, his was to find a good partner and become the crown jewel of that man or woman’s kingdom. They can only argue about who won the lottery with the birth order since Sirius wishes to have the freedom Regulus has and Regulus wishes he’d be more important in their father’s eyes. That said, Regulus is getting engaged tomorrow to the crown prince of the Moon kingdom and that is why his mood is down while Sirius is prepared to have the time of his life.
“It is not the last night you’re free Reg. You know how this works. You get engaged, in a few years you get married and you can do whatever the hell you want. I doubt the Moon prince doesn’t have a lover yet and there’s even lower possibility of him not allowing you to have one. Look at Mary- she’s having the time of her life with that ginger girlfriend of hers and I don’t give a fuck, she doesn’t give a fuck and father also doesn’t give a fuck.” Sirius tried to cheer his brother up- knowing how meaningless marriage is when you are from the royal family- his own engagement being the pure example of that.
“Sirius is right you know. These engagements don’t mean a thing, they never did. No need to feel down because of it,” added James- Sirius’s attendant. He was not born a royal but he got to grew up with the prince since the king wanted someone to look after his son. This is probably the most prestigious title you can get in the House of Blacks. The best part- the prince chooses what he needs him to be and what both of the Black brothers needed when they were kids was a friend. James often says that being Sirius’s attendant isn’t a job it is a privilege for what he will be forever grateful.
“Don’t act as if the thing wasn’t your biggest tragedy, Potter. If anything, you’re the one who now has limited time to keep trying to get Regulus’s heart for yourself.” Bartemius-Barty as he prefers- chuckled. He was Regulus’s attendant. Not the king’s first choice but he didn’t care enough to fight Regulus on this.
“You, shut up. No one asked you a thing now did they, Crouch.” James frowned. He and Barty have a fuming and everlasting hatred for each other ever since they were kids. Mainly because of James’s fondness of Regulus.
“Both of you shut up, will you?” Regulus said, already fed up with their fighting. He didn’t even react to the very obvious implication of said fondness anymore. He didn’t hate James’s interest in him, far from it actually. He was the one who fell in love with that loud, silly boy in the first place but as the years went by, he realized that this had no other ending than a heartbreak because of his future moving to some other kingdom so he decided to spare at least one of their hearts by pretending the feelings aren’t there anymore. Little did he know how persistent the curly-haired, brown-eyed boy can be.
His comment was very effective, seeing as both boys became quiet as soon as he started to speak and that made Sirius chuckle a little. “You guys are goners.”
“Sirius, I really appreciate your efforts in trying to cheer me up but it’s different for me. You get to stay home with the people you love, being praised by everyone and I have to move to another kingdom where I know no one, leaving all the people I care about here.” Regulus stated. He was right and it was unfair.
“Well, yes but you’re not moving yet and you won’t be for a while and when I’m king, first thing I do is open these goddamn gates so that you can come anytime and we all live in a world where you don’t have to break contact just because someone said so.” Sirius tried again. He was very set on this one thing in particular. He never understood why his father has this kingdom locked up.
“That is a very privileged thing to say. You get to make decisions while I wait for you to make the right one.” Regulus sighed. He knew it isn’t Sirius’s fault and he knew that his brother is trying to make him feel better but it’s just not working and he needs to accept that. And he did because for the rest of the time they spent getting dressed neither of them said a word that wasn’t connected to the clothing.
It was finally time. The ball was staring. The kingdom got filled with new people neither of them saw before, the hallways were filled with royals from all kingdoms and their servants and the nobles.
When the time came for the Black brothers to be introduced to the people, Sirius got a little nervous but James convinced him that it’s natural so by the time he had to step into the ballroom he was shining with confidence. Regulus was introduced first, alongside him was Barty as he- much like James- never left the prince’s side. Only then was Sirius’s turn, as the main event of the night. He stepped into the room with James following right after him, stopping to offer his arm to Mary, who was waiting by the door as instructed, and together they stepped on the little platform where the throne was.
“Please, welcome your future king, the crown prince of the House of Blacks, Sirius with his lovely fiancé princess Mary from the Kingdom of Heart accompanied by his attendant James Potter.” Sirius has heard this line many times before as him and Mary were said to marry each other when they were thirteen.
The gates weren’t always closed, when the previous king- Sirius’s grandfather- was alive, the royal families were meeting monthly and the Kingdom of Heart had a very good relationship with the House of Blacks since they were the closest in distance. Mary and Sirius were childhood friends and Sirius once stated that he wants to marry her when he grows up, not knowing that it will actually stick with the families, allowing Mary to be the only one who would be let through the gates of the kingdom that was shortly after closed off to the world.
“Well hello, soon to be husband.” Mary whispered with a grin as the crowd started bowing to them.
“Greetings, soon to be wife. You look absolutely gorgeous as always.” Sirius smiled, genuinely excited to see her again as he proceeded to press a kiss on the back of her hand.
“Glad to see you still enjoy my presence. I’m already sorry for the Moon prince if all your letters were accurate about how Regulus hates him already.” Mary teased. She was the sweetest person Sirius knows and he was glad it’s she who he has to marry. There wasn’t any chance of any romantic feeling between them but he didn’t mind. He knew that with her he can be free without hurting her in any way- seeing as they both enjoyed the opposite gender.
“Well of course,” Sirius smiled again. “Where are you hiding the redhead, you were writing me about?” he asked, looking at the crowd in search for her.
“She’s with my brother. And she has a name.” Mary said smugly. Sirius was getting all the details on how their relationship progressed since the time they saw each other last.
“Lily, was it? She is stunning. You have a good eye.” Sirius complimented her as soon as he finally found her.
“I know. But let’s focus on finding you some fun for tonight.” Mary grinned again but quickly became serious the moment the king started talking.
“It is my honor to welcome you all in the Ancient House of Blacks. It was on this day exactly a hundred years ago that my predecessor, the first king to ever rule this land, united all of our land in defense from the west tribes and won the battle, giving each of his closest friends and the best warriors their own land to rule, promising them peace and never-ending aid and protection from the House of Blacks, making it the kingdom that rules above them all. As a reminder of that and as a symbol of our union, I invited you all into my home to celebrate this anniversary together. I am so honored and proud that my eldest son is getting married to a daughter of the Kingdom of Heart and my youngest is soon to be engaged to the son of the Land of the Moon, deeper connecting our nations. Sadly, I don’t have a third child to offer to the Diamond Kingdom but I believe that won’t affect our future efforts to make this world a better place for all. And with that, let the evening begin!” king Orion said, making the whole room clap.
“Who’s he to talk about union and friendship.” Regulus chuckled.
“Right, as if he ever did anything to strengthen our bonds.” Sirius grinned back at him.
“Boys, don’t judge him too hard. He’s so full of friendship and joy!” Mary joined with sad puppy eyes and then erupted into laughter. “Let’s just have fun, okay?” She added and already took off to claim Lily for her first dance. With her disappeared James and Barty also, leaving just the two princes standing there alone. It’s not that no one had a desire to dance with them. A dance with a prince of the House of Blacks was a privilege. They were the royalty above royalty. They were the ones who choose who to dance with, speak with, or even be in a room with. It was like that for generations, there was an unspoken rule to not approach them unless they approach you first.
“That tall one is mine.” Sirius stated and straight up pointed at a tall young man in a silver suit standing across the room from them.
“Fine by me, not my type at all. He seems to be from the Moon kingdom. How big is the chance of him being my future husband?” Regulus asked, not particularly interested.
“Slim. He’s all alone. There would be a line if he was the prince.” Sirius answered.
“May be slim but never zero. What do you know? Maybe he’s a loner.” Regulus argued.
“Well then you’re perfect for each other!” Sirius teased. “Maybe I’ll steal your man Reggie” he said while smiling smugly in a second attempt to tease him.
“Please do!” Regulus said with a tone of pretend total desperation but he left right after that to find himself someone less annoying to spent his time with.
Sirius spent a whole three dances just staring at the tall man he picked out from the crowd. He knew he wanted him but who would he be if he just straight up went for it without some teasing first. The man was well aware of Sirius’s looks, it was obvious, he also spent a long while looking his direction but to Sirius’s surprise he started walking towards him.
“Are you going to spend the whole night looking at me or were you ever gonna come up to me and sing me my prayers?” the man asked with a soft grin. The pure audacity left Sirius in shock with an open mouth for a while.
“Someone’s confident.” Sirius pointed out with a smile.
“Excuse me my prince, was I being too cocky? It’s just that only one of us couldn’t take their eyes away from the other.” That man’s grin just grew. Again, leaving Sirius in awe.
“Seeing as I was just standing here and you were the one who approached me, the interest must be mutual.” Sirius also grinned.
“I am not denying that.” The man smiled. “How often does one get the chance to speak to their future king?”
“That is the reason you approached me then?” Sirius’s grin faded when the realization hit. He will never be seen just for who he is, is he?
“Not at all. Mainly because of your incredible beauty and the daring looks you sent my way” he smiled.
“Liar.” Sirius grinned again. He must give it to this man he knows what to say.
“I’m not lying I swear. To be honest I was more interested in your younger brother. He is marrying the prince of my kingdom after all.” The man admitted a little ashamed.
“You must know the prince well then? We don’t even know his name and he’s supposed to marry my brother.” Sirius tried. Maybe he will find out something for Regulus.
“Very personally I’d say, and I’m sure he will introduce himself to you very soon.” the man chuckled.
“Excuse my manners! I didn’t even ask your name and I’m already asking about your prince.” Sirius acted as if he actually meant it but he knew what he was doing. He enjoyed playing this part.
“Oh, no! Excuse my manners. I should’ve introduced myself first. My name is Remus but your majesty can call me whatever he wants.” That man- Remus- bowed and kissed the back of Sirius’s hand.
“Pleasure meeting you, mister ‘call me whatever you want’, I am Sirius,” he smiled, visibly pleased.
“As I’ve heard. Look, sweetheart, we can keep playing this game or you can give me the pleasure of joying me for a dance.” Remus smiled, this time without the grin or any subtext, dropping the act he had prepared. This left Sirius in awe again but he quickly took the offered hand and let himself be led by this man to the dancefloor.
Regulus was left standing alone again after a few dances with random strangers he found appealing. That, of course, would change very quickly as he saw James approaching him.
“In a mood to spare me one dance?” James asked with a sweet smile, relieved that he can finally drop all the fancy talk.
“What makes you think I want to dance with you, Potter?” Regulus asked with a stone-cold expression.
“Come on baby, I know you want to.” James said, sadly sounding more hopeful than confident but it still made Regulus take his hand after a few exchanged looks and a lot of internal arguments in Regulus’s head.
“Why do you keep pushing me away?” James asked in the middle of the dance. He no longer had any time alone with Regulus due to Regulus himself but he wasn’t gonna let that stop him. “You know how I feel about you and I thought I knew how you feel about me but I am slowly losing hope Reg,” he said, trying not to show all the sadness that is hiding inside of him.
“That’s a good thing. You need to move on.” Regulus said so fiercely James was taken aback, messing up the steps.
“Do you not want me anymore? What the hell changed this year. I know we were never together but the feelings were there- you told me all those things and then you just pull back and pretend I’m not here. That’s not fair.” James asked, terrified of the answer that might come.
Regulus waited before answering, maybe too long because James stopped and let go of his hand. And in that same moment he did something he knows he will regret.
“Of course I want you!” he said, ignoring how loudly he just stated that, getting a strong grip on James’s hand. He never did this. Every feeling that they shared was buried in the walls of this castle and deep between them, never said fully aloud up until now. “Fuck, I want you more than anything I’ve ever wanted James’” he said desperately.
“Then what’s the problem? Why are you shutting me out? We have so little time and you’re wasting it all.” James asked, confused more than ever.
“That is exactly the point though- I can never have you. Not really. I will be moving away before you know it and all that’s left is heartbreak.” Regulus tried to explain but deep in his heart he knew that’s not gonna be enough for James.
“Whatever you’re trying to do right now is worse than you leaving. You’re giving up without even giving it a try. What you’re doing is breaking my heart already.” James stated, knowing this will just hurt Regulus more but knowing him, he needs to feel something to let himself feel the rest.
“I’m breaking mine too. But it’s better to never have you than to miss having you for the rest of my life.” Regulus responded on the verge of tears. This is exactly what he didn’t want.
“Okay then. Your wish is my command, your majesty.” James said, a tear slipping through the mask he just put on, bowing to Regulus and then leaving. And Regulus was left with something worse than a heartbreak. A heart full of regret.
“Are you sure we’re allowed to be here?” Remus asked when Sirius brought him to the royal greenhouse.
“Super sure.” Sirius nodded excitedly and sat down on one of the benches.
“Well, I am ‘supper sure’ that I wasn’t supposed to leave the ballroom.” Remus argued, but still sitting down next to him.
“You don’t strike me as a rule follower. You called me ‘sweetheart’. I’m pretty sure that is against like all rules ever.” Sirius pointed out.
“And look where that got me.” Remus smiled.
“Exactly! So, we’re going to enjoy some quiet time away from the crowd for as long as we can because there is a high possibility of someone looking for me when they realize I’m gone.” Sirius said just hoping and praying to all the gods that no one notices for a long time because he is really enjoying himself in Remus’s company and he doesn’t need anyone interrupting that.
“Like your fiancé?” Remus tried. Looking for anything in Sirius’s blue eyes.
“Not her. She’s occupied elsewhere.” Sirius shrugged his shoulders.
“I guess you aren’t in love if you’re willing to give me so much of your time but are you okay with marrying her?” Remus asked, feeling anxious all of a sudden.
“No, we aren’t in love. I guess you figured out I enjoy a male company whereas she’s quite fond of the ladies.” Sirius chuckled. “But I’m happy with marrying her. She’s amazing and my friend. That’s more than I can ask for in my position. Why did you bring her up? I doubt it was for permission when you already knew I’m engaged when you first looked at me.” Sirius asked.
“Because I’m about to be engaged with someone I don’t know. Let’s say my parents urged me into it to boost our family status. I just wanted to know how you feel about it.” Remus admitted.
“Oh.” Sirius paused. “Are you planning to try it with them? Like- be a real couple?” Sirius asked, connecting all the pieces in his head while leaving Remus completely unaware.
“I guess- I think I owe it to both me and them. To at least try, you know. It’s always better for the- umm family for it to be real.” Remus tried to answer but he felt so wrong for saying that.
“Well, I guess this is the first and last night we spend together then.” Sirius said. He wasn’t prepared for the sadness that would come with saying those words.
“Does it have to be?” Remus turned, confused as to why Sirius would say that right now.
“You are marrying my brother Remus. That seems wrong. He already feels weird about this whole engagement thing and I want to at least give him a chance to try without me feeling guilty if it works.” Sirius finally said it out loud. He had a feeling right when they started talking but he kept pushing it back just because how much he enjoyed his company. That needs to end now. Just so he can look Regulus in the eye in the morning.
“So you do know who I am.” Remus sighed.
“I didn’t but I’m not stupid. I can tell you were raised among the royal family- the way you carry yourself and the way you speak- but I kept trying to make myself believe you were just the prince’s attendant or a younger brother or just someone with very good manners but you made that harder with every sentence.” Sirius admitted.
“Sirius, I’m about to say a lot of words that should not be saying but I really feel the need to, okay?” Remus started, not even giving Sirius a chance to respond. “At first, my plan was to try to talk to Regulus without him knowing who I am just so I can get an honest reaction from him but then I saw you and fuck! Everything just went to shit from that point on because you are the most goodlooking person in this whole kingdom and I said to myself that I’d just go talk to you, flirt a little and get some information on your bother but then we started talking and I just couldn’t get enough of you. You are brilliant and fun and so easy to talk to and I just got lost in all that and all I wanted was to spend this night with you- with someone I actually enjoy being around and someone who doesn’t have any expectations of me and I really hope you wouldn’t realized who I am and that all I want is to experience just one kiss with actual feelings before I get engaged and trapped in a marriage without love.” Remus finished while still looking into Sirius’s eyes, looking shocked that all that really came from his mouth but confident in it nevertheless.
The shock that Remus felt had nothing on what Sirius was feeling right now though. He was lost, he was desperate for something at least slightly real and it was here. Right in front of him. Offering itself to him and feeling no shame while doing so. Sirius would feel shame though. Or at least he was convinced he would. This is so wrong at so many levels but god, how does one convince their heart that doesn’t want to listen to reason.
“You’ve never kissed anyone?” Sirius asked. There was a million different thing he wanted to say but this one got out the fastest so he ran with it.
“No. I knew I’d have to marry a prince or a princess from another kingdom so I didn’t even try to build anything with anyone else to spare us both the heartbreak. But for you I’m prepared to risk it all.” Remus admitted, still not shifting his gaze.
“You’re already so similar to Regulus it’s actually blowing my mind.” Sirius sighed. He was the one who broke the eye contact, standing up to go look at the roses instead.
“You know- we’re not engaged yet. He doesn’t even know my name. I don’t know his favorite flower, his favorite book, what he loves to do when he’s bored. The name of his best friend and how much they mean to him. But I could answer all of it if someone asked about yours.” Remus stated when he stood up to stand right behind the shorter boy, who’s now for the first time this night not talking to him openly. This was enough for Sirius though. This was the last push he needed to sharply turn around and gently press his lip on those belonging to the man now in front of him.
It was comical really. Sirius had to stand on his tippytoes to reach him and still, Remus had to bend down a little for him to kiss the beautiful prince properly. It wasn’t long before that wasn’t enough for either of them and Remus lifted the other man into his arms and pushing him into the glass walls of the greenhouse, gripping his long curls, letting Sirius undo all the buttons of his shirt as if his life depended on completing said task.
They were laying on a soft carpet still inside the greenhouse, Sirius’s head on Remus’s chest, only partially covered by their suit jackets so that Sirius wouldn’t be cold- not that he would with how warm it is but Remus wouldn’t risk it. They were silent for a while now. Remus was going through Sirius’s curls and Sirius was holding Remus’s other hand as if he was scared to let it go, which he realized he was. Both of them were just trying to sort all their thoughts.
“You are an angel, did you know?” Remus asked to break the silence which was getting sadder with every minute.
“I’ve been told.” Sirius smiled still inspecting Remus’s hand in his.
“How many boys have you bring here then?” Remus asked, laughing at the irony in his head.
“Only one. A tall, very handsome prince with a sweet voice and a gentle touch.” Sirius’s smile grew. “Contrary to what you must be thinking right now, I’ve never done anything like this. Sure, I enjoy flirting with pretty boys, occasionally kissing those who interest me but nothing like this.” Sirius shared and Remus felt so much pride in that. Hearing this felt better than anything he ever accomplished in his life and he didn’t have it in him to be ashamed of that.
“I am very honored that you let me.” Remus said to that.
“I don’t like the fact that tomorrow you’ll belong to my brother.” Sirius shared, scared by his own feelings.
“I don’t like the fact that I will have to watch you get married to someone who’s not me. You should be the jewel. You should be taken care of not the other way around and not with some girl who won’t even realize how dear you are to me. And I’m saying all this after a one night spent with you just imagine what I would sound like when I get to know all of you.” Remus added to that.
“Don’t make me think about that. It makes me sad.” Sirius whined. They both feel heartbroken already. “This was a huge mistake.” Tears started running down Sirius’s face. “You made me feel all that and now you’re gonna leave and the next time I see you, you’ll be engaged to my brother while I sit next to my fiancé. How fucked up is that?” Sirius couldn’t stop. He wasn’t prepared for feelings like these. He didn’t know it would be this intense. Funny part is that even if he did, he would make this mistake over an over again.
“I won’t be trying shit with your brother. There’s no way.” Remus said, hugging Sirius even tighter.
“He deserves it though. He deserves someone like you. His marriage doesn’t have to be as tragic as mine will be.” Sirius sobbed.
“No. I just can’t sweetheart. Not after this. This is so much more than I’ve ever thought I’ll have. No. I just won’t. He’s your brother, he will understand. I’m not giving up on you. I’m not giving up on all the possibilities we have.” Remus started shaking his head. He’s not going to let Sirius slip away from him, not on his watch.
“But this won’t ever work. You’re going to be so far away. We won’t even see each other. We have no future Remus.” As much as he was full of hope, Sirius was also a very realistic person and the most realistic outcome for them was living miles apart and sending letter to one another until one of them realizes this brings them more harm than joy.
“Don’t think about that. I’m here. I am still here and until the sun rises, I am all yours. Let’s make the most out of it. What do you say?” Remus smiled through all the sorrow he feels.
“Okay. Tomorrow doesn’t exist until another few hours. I have the whole tomorrow to feel like a piece of shit, right?” Sirius tried to joke even at his lowest.
“God, that is so depressing but right.” Remus chuckled.
And truly, they spent the rest of the night talking about whatever they felt like talking about. Tomorrow didn’t exist until Sirius passed out from exhaustion and was carried by Remus into his room where a very depressed looking, now confused as fuck, James took him into his own care, with concern watching as Remus presses one last kiss onto Sirius’s forehead.