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I Don’t Even Live Here!

Summary:

A week after defeating LAW, Wemmbu walked into Flame’s base after getting spammed on his communicator by Spoke. Which confused him to no end, why would Spoke be telling him to come to Flame’s base? When Wemmbu expected a fresh start after defeating LAW, he sure didn't expect… this.

Or

UU Quartet move in together after defeating LAW.
Cue in some Deuteragonists shenanigans on the side…

Chapter 1: A Confused Arrival

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and the LAW war had finally ended, and you would think that would bring Wemmbu some well earned rest with his best friend at his side, well you’d be wrong! Egg decided he was going to be helpful and go to the End to help Minute with clean up.

Which meant Wemmbu was going to be left to his own devices, and in previous history.. that usually isn’t a good thing. Hell, you didn’t want to see the stuff he did while entertained.

Before Egg left, Wemmbu sheepishly explained that to him, Egg had given him a knowing look before whipping out his communicator with a deadpan expression and began typing the fastest Wemmbu’s ever seen the angel type.

Before Wemmbu could peer over his shoulder to see who he had contacted, the communicator shut off with a ding and Egg placed a gentle but assuring hand on his shoulder, “I’ll only be gone a month or two, remember I’m with Minute, if you need anything just message me.” Egg pulled Wemmbu into a hug, arms squeezing tightly.

Egg had turned for the door, right as he was about to turn the doorknob, “Make sure you eat actual food, not just golden carrots.. I don’t care if they’re ‘good for your saturation.’”

Wemmbu’s face broke into a grin, pulling him into a hug once more, “Yeah, yeah..I will.” Egg giggled before waving once more and flying off to the nearest End portal without so much as a hitch.

Wemmbu felt disappointment stir in his stomach, he knew Egg wanted to get out there and do more ‘scholarly things’, like reading..studying and whatever else scholars do. He knew Minute could help Egg branch out, he knew there were so many historical books left in the End and he knew his best friend best. Egg wanted to help salvage anything that could be saved.

So instead of forcing Egg to build with him or even sit down and binge movie trilogies, he didn’t whine—much, as Egg made his decision for a little vacation. All Wemmbu regretted was not having similar plans… and maybe making a better best then a wooden shack.

After laying down on a small ratty couch inside the small, barely a house, shack waiting for Egg to message him he’s made it, he got a different ding from Egg’s regular tone, Spoke? Wemmbu pulls his communicator closer and squints in confusion, and soon after dozens of messages start appearing, causing Wemmbu to drop his communicator flat on his face. After rubbing his nose and groaning, he lifted his communicator once more and lazily tapped Spoke’s contact.

‘Wemm.’

‘Bu.’

‘GOD you’re slow at answering!!!’

‘WEMMBU WEMMBU WEMMBU WEMMBU WEMMBU!!!!!’

‘UP. NOW. FLAME. BASE. NOW.’

Wemmbu squinted in pure confusion, “Wuh..” was the only noise he’d been able to make before screeching at the door flying open. Spoke steps through panting and with void wisping off him, as if he’d run through the earth and back.

“What the hell!” Wemmbu pressed his back against his wooden shack.

Spoke grabbed Wemmbu’s collar and said, “Egg messaged Lomedy, who messaged Flame who messaged me to have me tell you that—“

“I’m so fucking confused—“ Spoke slapped his palm over his mouth.

“—we’re having a month-long sleepover!!”
Wemmbu just fell limp in Spoke’s grip on his shirt.

“So up and at ‘em Wemmy! Get to packing!” Spoke’s eyes were wide open staring at him in anticipation, all false energy and excitement.

Wemmbu grabbed Spoke’s hands off of his collar and prodded, “You good, Spoke?” The more Wemmbu stared, the more he noticed things wrong, the eye bags underneath Spoke’s eyes, his disheveled hair, the rips in his clothes— has he not changed outfits since the battle against Law?

Spoke’s smile twitched downward, before completely falling. “I'm okay. It’s just Mapicc.”

Spoke pressed the heel of his hand onto his eyelids. “I’m just having a bit of trouble— nothing a sleepover won’t fix!”

Wemmbu’s hands hovered over Spoke’s shoulder before committing. He pulled Spoke into a small side hug, he wasn’t the best at this he knew.. but he could at least try?

But the second he pulled him in, Spoke pushed his arms out and sending Wemmbu flailing away in confusion, the voidling huffed out, “Enough of that!”

Okay that just happened, Wemmbu’s not going to say anything about it to spare his dignity. God the one time he tried being sensitive for once.

Spoke turned, wiping at his eyes, faux looking at Wemmbu’s..decor. Wemmbu felt himself curl up in embarrassment, in his defense made this in thirty seconds after Egg had piggy backed him here, what can he say? Macing takes a lot of body strength. Maybe he’ll get into building while Egg’s in the end.. Wemmbu shakes himself back into the living, his eyes tracking Spoke’s finger tips digging into his arms.

Wemmbu cleared his throat to get Spoke’s attention, “Uhm, I don’t have much to pack? Me and Egg got here a day ago and this isn’t really our house— yet or something…” Spoke turned to look at him, “Anyways all my stuff’s in my enderchest.” Wemmbu’s voice cracked awkwardly near the end.

Spoke’s arms went limp at his sides, he jolted them outwards awkwardly and said, “Alrighty! Let’s get to walking to Flame’s base!” Wemmbu looked into the cracked pocket mirror he carries and saw his lopsided tiara, a messy bun that looked like a rats nest, his stretched out pajama tee and snapped it closed, shoved on his slippers and decided to follow Spoke to wherever the hell Flame’s base is.

Spoke grabbed Wemmbu’s hand and flung him upwards and off his bed, the second Wemmbu stepped out of the darkened shack into natural sunlight…he got flashbanged.

“Gods, you look like you don’t go out often..” Spoke murmured under his breath after giggling at his smushed expression. Wemmbu swatted the back of Spoke’s head and saw Spoke’s mode of transportation.

“What the hell is this?” Wemmbu groaned as he got flashbacks of when he and Parrot had made their escape after evading five law legions in a row.

Spoke put his arm over his shoulder and pulled him in, “Hey man, it’s just in case you don’t have an elytra!”

Spoke pointed at his back, “Mines low dura, so if you do have one, lemme hitch a ride!” Wemmbu inched away and glared at the pig with much more anger than needed.

“I have an elytra and I’m definitely not getting on that pig—”

Wemmbu slammed his enderchest down and pulled out his elytra and strapped it over his own wings.

“—and to be honest, I’d rather carry you the way then chafing my hands on the lead.”

Spoke looked at the pig then at Wemmbu, then at the lead and then at Wemmbu again and hopped into his arms, “Giggidy go go go, Wemmy!” Spoke cheered in the bridal carry. Wemmbu sighed tiredly, tightened his grip over Spoke’s back and knees, and pressed a firework under his heel to propel them into the air.

The wind blowing into Wemmbu’s face made him feel like he’s finally waking up, he’s free. Nobody to chase him or hunt him down, no dangers to his friends, no fighting for his life, only him and the sky…

Is what he thought until Spoke started hollering and cheering at max volume in his ears, as if flying is a new experience. The only semblance of relief he got was when he finally touched down at Flame’s base, which was— way bigger than before??

Wemmbu looked up in shock, “What kinda builder built this in 3 days!?” Only Horace appeared in his mind. Spoke also nodded speechlessly, before suddenly snapping back to the task at hand which was, yanking out his communicator and spamming Flame.

‘Flame.’

‘Frags.’

‘Flamey Flame Flameeeee!!!’

‘We’re HEREEE OPEN UP!!!’

‘…and by that I mean where the hell is your entrance..?’

Wemmbu leaned over and read the messages Spoke was typing at maximum speed, before he heard somebody walking behind them.

He spun around to find Flame staring at his communicator in annoyance. “Spoke. You can stop now.”

Spoke’s eyes lit up and he ran to tackle Flame into a hug, “Flame!” Flame let a ghost of a smile appear on his face as he looked behind Spoke’s back to wave to Wemmbu, “Hey Wemm, you doing okay?”

Wemmbu sighed exhausted, “Doing as well as I can after fighting for almost two days straight.”

Flame smirked, which can only mean he’s about to annoy the shit out of him, “Well, can't relate! Some of us just recover faster than others!” Flame gloated while Spoke was attached to him like a koala.

“How do you even look somewhat put together right now..?” Wemmbu whined, as he looked down at his state of wear. He scrubbed his face into his hands as his communicator began to ding.

‘Hey Bu, I got to the End safe and sound. Me and Minute are going to set up a place to sleep soon, make sure you get enough rest. I texted Lomedy to help you find somewhere to stay while I’m gone, hope you don’t mind too much. See ya in a bit Wemm!’

Wemmbu squinted at his screen, rubbed his eyes, then squinted again before beginning to fervently type his reply.

Spoke finally relinquished Flame from his bear hug to laugh at Wemmbu’s baffled expression, “I literally told you earlier!”

Wemmbu glared and spat, “I didn’t think you were serious, you were spouting a whole bunch of bull earlier!” Then he began to feverishly type once more.

Flame exhaled, already done with this before it even started. He began shoving Wemmbu into his base— who was still completely entranced in typing his very angry, yet concerned, yet annoyed, answer back to Egg, who had warned Flame beforehand that this would happen.

Spoke trailed behind them as bubbly as he could muster. The voidling sighed, this was gonna be a long month or two. Wemmbu had finally sent his angry reply back, which Spoke was entirely too lazy to read.

By the time Wemmbu had finally come back to, Spoke had already found where he wanted to set up camp for this sleepover, he saw Flame’s room in the basement surrounded by other beds. He had stared at them for a couple of seconds before tearing off each of the blankets on each respective bed. He had started running around while muttering that, ‘this was about to be the best pillow fort of all time.’

Wemmbu stared as Spoke got to work, balancing each pillow, putting each chair to stabilize the tent. Flame watched from the door frame, seemingly calculating how much mess he had to clean up after this.

Wemmbu dismissively turned around before tiredly addressing Flame, “Could I shower? Where even is your bathroom, this place is huge—by the way, who even built this in two days?”

Flame playfully grinned as placed his finger on lips in a ‘shh I’m not telling you only to annoy you’ motion. Wemmbu mustered the best glare he could give after flying a couple thousand blocks.

“Well it wouldn’t be impressive if I just told you who built it! Anyways, bathrooms thataway—“

Flame jabbed his thumb behind him, “—and do you need any spare clothes, or do you have that in your e-chest?”

Wemmbu waved his hand dismissively, “Yeah I packed some. ” Then he suddenly put his hand on his chin, before speaking up once more, “Hey is Parrot coming over too?”

And if anybody told you that Wemmbu’s face lit up at the thought…they’re lying. He hasn’t spent time with his brothers on good terms in awhile, god forbid guy get excited!

Flame arched an eyebrow up before promptly responding, “ That guy buries himself deep in work all the time, now more than ever since he became king—“

Wemmbu interjected, “How do you guys get stuff done so quickly? I swear the war ended like two to three days ago! God!” He threw his hands up in the air exasperated. Spoke giggled from behind Wemmbu as he was placing his ‘finishing touches’ onto his pillow fort.

Flame rolled his eyes before continuing as if Wemmbu’s interjection never happened, “—but, Lomedy convinced Theo to talk to him, so he should be here today or tomorrow.”

Wemmbu nodded cheerfully as he started making his way to the bathroom, “Thanks Flamey!” Before he suddenly remembered Spoke’s pillow fort.

He whipped his head around to take a look at it, horror dawned on his face as feathers were scattered everywhere, pillows torn with their guts spilling out on the blankets. Spoke was at the center of it all rolling around like a puppy, Flame looked amused but unimpressed.

Wemmbu promptly turned around and booked it toward the bathroom, not his circus, not his voidling— he was ignoring that fact that Spoke’s his younger brother, for his sanity.

Notes:

Timeline for like a little bit of context,
Flame: In The Middle of ‘I Became a Combat GrandMaster’
Wemmbu: Right After ‘Unstable SMP: The Law’
Spoke: Right After 4 Minecraft Pros VS 2500 Players’
Parrot: In The Middle of ‘100 Days as King of The Unstable SMP’
The reason why I have it set up like this is because, Flame and Parrot’s videos make it seem directly after LAW narratively, while Spoke and Wemmbu’s have some leeway between them, Wemmbu and Egg built a whole base together and go on a quest before the start of Kingdoms Arc, Spoke had been looking for Mapicc for two weeks before his NULL Arc.

So in order for this to make sense we have Parrot working on being king, Flame already has a base and Lomedy and him are chilling, Spoke is having a Mapicc mental breakdown and Wemmbu is bone tired after being hunted down for ages. Flame just has a crazy recovery time bc wdym ur alr training again after you fought in a war? No way Wemmbu didn’t have a fat nap and a decent bed rot after the battle.

The main reason I wrote this was so I could do something semi productive on my phone other the binge scroll. So this is all sweaty sticky iPhone typed out for you guys