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Another day of work, another nightmare woken up from, another inch off his height. Tenna was feeling-
No. He wasn’t feeling glooby! He can’t feel glooby. After all, the only one who could get him… happy again, well. He was gone. Tenna had to stop pretending otherwise.
At 12 feet tall, everyone was gonna know something was up. He was losing inches rapidly, at this point, he’d barely be taller than his little mailman.
Nope, don’t think of him. Wouldn’t want to be shorter than a coffee cup either, now would he?
Thinking of coffee, a little, slightly forced smile made it’s way to his screen. He strode outside his room, willing himself to grow taller. He could just barely close the doorknob now. He kept the image of coffee fixed in his mind, like it would solve all his worries. It might. For the time being, at least. Hmm, maybe cinnamon coffee today. Oh, yes, and he did promise to try the cafe instead of brewing his own beverages… Maybe he should get some for the crew? He didn’t even know what they liked to drink, Angel above. How could he be such an inconsiderate host?
As his mind drifted from drinks to mentally lecturing himself, he failed to notice that he walked into the shop already.
“Tenna. What can we help you with?” Swatch asked, that professional tone dripping with annoyance.
After pointing at the coffee and two cinnamon sticks, he felt the need to ask. “Is there something bothering you?”
“There is no need to concern you with my troubles, Tenna.” They replied. “It is nothing we haven’t dealt with before.”
“Oh… okay.” He was passed his coffee. “We should talk again soon though! We have so much to catch up on!” He tried smiling again. Hopefully this time, he wouldn’t accidentally start a Spamton-related investigation. And hey! That was one time!
He left the cafe feeling a little more frustrated with himself. If only he’d been a better friend to Swatch. Maybe they’d be laughing over the antics of him and his business partner’s TV Time shenanigans together again. Maybe, if he could just find Spamton-!
A sigh left his lips and he paused just five steps from the door that he just left. After coming here, to Castle Town, he’s had far too much free time for his own good. All he was good for was working, of course! And what, you may ask, has he done with that free time? He’s done nothing but mope around, rotting in bed thinking of either the shooting pain up both of his arms, or Spamton. Of course. He should have been worried about his own crew, or his TV World being destroyed. Or the chance that he might’ve been dreaming and that he was still out on the snow, hallucinating a figure of white next to him. No, that was probably still the snow, actually.
He was about to pick up the pace, he still hadn’t moved from where he was, but he heard scuttling from down the alleyway. For a brief moment, he thought that he saw…
“[Stupid Sauce] STUPID<<>@! I CANN T [I Believe I Can Fly] FELL [Down The Rabbit Hole] FRO.M THE IR [Pocket Deals!]<>>><,.>>!!!! IM NOT GONNA BEE [Useful Items To Keep In Your Backpack] LIEKK THIS/1!1!!!1!1!!” A voice shrieked, almost sounding as if it were glitching. Who in the Dark World was that?
“Excuse me?” Tenna called out. “Um… do you need some help?”
“...”
He nervously shifted on his feet, daring to approach the short Darkner who was shrouded in the alley’s darkness. “I mean, I’ve already heard you… how about you’ll come out, and I’ll leave you alone. How’s that sound, huh?”
Still silence. Apart from the dumpster lid being thrown open? And a form throwing themselves in.
He rushed over, grabbing them by the collar of their sweater before they could land face-flat into literal garbage.
“DID [U-Turn] JUST SCR UFF [Lil’ ol’ me?] >>//?” They asked, a hint of disbelief in their tone.
He lowered them onto the floor when they reached the front of the building again. Light catching the pink and yellow glasses on their face. By golly, he wished he could see their expression. Eyes hidden and smile stretched to overtake half their face. Like a puppet. And unexplainably cute? “I’m terribly sorry, um… sir, right?” The puppet nodded. “But I couldn’t help but overhear you talking…” He spared one more glance towards the dumpster. “Talking to yourself. About… something? You seemed stressed, that's all.”
“I F YOU CAME TO [Help! Help! It burns!] MEE THEN [!@#?] OFF.” He scowled. “D ONT YOU [Half Off!] BETTER THINGS [To-Do List] @@/<<>?” The puppet glitched, and he was almost sure that he was scowling.
“Wait. Why would I burn you?” Tenna asked, very visibly confused.
“[Great Limited-Time Offer!]. YOU DON’ T KNOW [Who am I? Why am I like this?]. I HAVE A [Pesky Little Bug] IN MY VOICE BOX. [Men! INFILTRATE THE BASE!] WITH [Stupid Ads] AND [Hair Clips].” He grumbled, somehow while being the loudest Darkner on the street.
“Oh… I think I understand.” He replied with an awkward nod. “Can’t you see an Ambyu-Lance about that? I’m guessing that you’re from Cyber City.”
“[All for naught] [Even-Steven] THEY CANT [Fixer-Upper] ME>>>. D ONT YOU HAVE TO GO TO [Luxury Studio Apartment] INSTEAD OF TALKING WITH [What is that< some kind of rat?]?”
The last clip sounded exactly like Tenna’s voice. Unnervingly so. Luxury… studio. Oh GOODNESS! THE STUDIO! “Oh I’m so sorry!” He exclaimed. “I’m going to be so late…” The puppet shooed him away with both of his hands. “Right. Again, I’m sorry! See you later!” And he ran off.
In less than no time, he had arrived at the studio, downed his cooling coffee, and come to a revelation. He would definitely be seeing that puppet after work. Thank the Angel, it was the end of the week already. Since he wasn’t the boss anymore, he didn’t have to monitor the crew’s every movement just to yell at them for getting it wrong. He didn’t need to do that in the first place!
Shaking off his remaining worries, he stepped inside.
“Oh heya boss.” Mike exclaimed. Mike had certain moods, one where he would call quite literally everyone by ‘boss’.
“Ahahah… Mike. I’m not your boss anymore…” He mumbled.
“Right. Sorry ‘bout the mix-up, boss.”
This was going to be a long day.
— — —
Tenna was feeling absolutely drained. Sure, they'd had a great segment. And they'd even had a few excited audience members!
Out of all the Darkners that he didn't expect to see watching, he saw the puppet from earlier. He was at the very back, watching with intent. Probably. Tenna didn't know how to read him yet.
At the end of the show, he approached with a few snacks in hand. Which were three ice-creams that he'd took from the TV Dinners at the back of the room. What? He didn't know if the puppet had eaten all day! He was rummaging through the trash earlier!
“I just realised that I never got your name.” Tenna chortled. “How silly of me, right?”
“IM NOT [100% Comfort] WITH TELLING Y0U MY NAME. >>>” He frowned a bit.
“Well, Give me something to call you then.” Tenna said patiently, handing the ice-cream to the puppet. Maybe this was one time he could be nice to someone else, instead of lashing out.
“[Number 1 Rated-]” He clicked his jaw shut with unneeded force. “[So Call Me Maybe] GMAIL.”
“Gmail? Like an email, right?”
“NNN>>>O. WITH A G.”
“Right then. Gmail. Your ice-cream's melting.” He smirked before seeing the puppet unhinge his jaw and shove his food down his throat before clicking it shut once more. “Um… everyone has their own quirks, right? Hahaha.”
“NO NEED [Two For the Price Of One] LIE, [Trash Heap]. IT WAS [Disgusting].”
“Well, you said it.” Tenna replied, stifling a chuckle. Did he just say Trash Heap? Like what that…
Oh Angel.
“Hey. I recognise you!” He exclaimed, not noticing Gmail's sudden expression of fear. “You were the one in the TV World! The one I sprayed with foam!”
Gmail visibly relaxed, grinning wider somehow, at Tenna’s mortified face. “EAHAEAEAEAHA! [DING DING DING!!!] THATS ME< >>>>!”
“I'm so sorry! I was just-”
“DONT SWEAT IT, [Trash Heap]. I GOT A [For the low low price of] FREE SHOWER.”
“That… was not a shower, Gmail. How long has it been since you've had a shower?”
“IF [U-Turn] DONT [1,2,3] THE [Free Pool Water] THEN… TEN, FIFTEEN [Where Have the Years Gone?]. LUCKI THIS [Sweet Sweet Workout Body] IS MADE OF PLA STIC>>”
“Okay. We, are going to my room. And you, are going to take a shower.”
— — —
Tenna… really didn't know who he was. Spamton was showered, dressed, and currently in Tenna’s living room.
If he did know, he would get mad. And Spamton wouldn't have been invited here. And I'd probably never see him again.
He is planning to tell Tenna. Maybe later. Tomorrow. Next month…
Tenna deserves to know who the former Addison had turned into, at the very least. If Spamton could give nothing else.
“So, how did the Lightners find you?” The CRT asked.
“T HEY CUT MY [Silly Strings]. I AM IN [Remote Control] OF MY SELF NOW. I [IOU] THEM [4,5,6] THAT.” Spamton answered earnestly. That was a pretty good summary of it all. “I TRIII TRIED TAKING THEIR [Heart-Shaped Object] TO GAI N FREEDOM BEFORE TAHT. THAT WASNT SUCH A GOOD [TV Time!]” He added, because his mouth seemed to spill out almost every secret he had when around Tenna.
Keyword; almost.
…
“So… you tried to kill them.” Tenna asked, looking beyond horrified.
“MY [The Mind Electric] WAS [Clouds are from Heaven] AFTER [NEO Update]. IM [Relief From Pain] THAT I DIDNT GO THRU WITH THAT [School Planner].”
“Well, you didn't in the end. I guess that's what counts.” He said, a bit calmer too.
“I [Chainsaw] YOU AFTER YOUR [Lord of Screens] [Cleaved Red by Bla-] [Hyperlink Blocked]. [Hyperlink Blocked.] TH E STUPID BE- [HYPERLINK BLOCKED] WONT ALLOW ME TO SPEAK [Proper Manners]-LY!!<<@<< 1!!1!” He glitched furiously, scowling by now. Can't he have ONE conversation with the LOVE OF HIS LIFE his old business partner?
“Oh my Angel, Gmail, are you okay?”
Right. He didn't even tell Tenna his real name.
“JUST [Peaches], CATHODE.” He strained out, vision swimming due to the pain. He pulled his hair until that was all he could focus on. Not too harshly to rip anything out. Spamton wouldn't do that to his hair, however dirty and greasy it was from years in dumpster-diving. His hair was the one thing he wouldn't dare mess up. It stayed during the [Ow! Help me! It burns-] mutilation from Addison to puppet.
“What… did you just call me?” Tenna trailed off, looking like he didn't dare to hope that it was…
“I CALL ED YOU [Warm Cathode Rays].” He repeated after the glitching had died down.
“You…” The CRT let out a sniffle, tears forming where eyes should be. “You don't get to call me that. Only my Spammy called me that...”
“DU YOU [Hatred so deep that you have to make voodoo dolls-] DO YOU. HATE ME FOR IT.”
“No, it's- it's fine. You can call me that if you want. I'm pretty sure Spamton cut me off anyways. He's probably a big shot back in Cyber…” A pure, unadulterated panic flashed on Tenna’s screen as he slowly shrank in height. “Did- please tell me he made it to Castletown…”
Angel above. He just couldn't stop hurting Tenna. This was all his fault…
“[Eye] KNOE HE DI D>>.” Spamton replied.
“How…” Tenna sniffled again, frantically wiping his screen with his red suit's sleeve. “You're probably right. He wouldn't go down without a fight, would he. Hahah, I really miss him.”
“HE WAS AN ASS TO [U, V, W, X, Y and Z].” He tried again. Hoping that Tenna would take the hint and join the Spamton Hate Club, right along with Swatch, and the Addisons, and just about the rest of Cyber City. “YOU HATE HIM [Remember Me]? YOU KEPT SAYING THAT IN [Spamton and Tenna’s TV Time!!!] WORLD<<>@#.”
“Heh, I guess some see it that way. But he had a bigger chance, he took it. I can't blame him. I didn't go after him though, and I just… I wished that he told me first.” Tenna muttered as the tears ran out, and Spamton took that opportunity to stand up and clear the screen from the remaining tears, which made Tenna startle.
“OOPS. IM JUST [Window Wiper] YOUR [Lord of Screens].” Spamton giggled.
“Hey, Gmail? How do you know the old jingle for TV Time?”
“I [I Love TV-]” He cut himself off, his blush marks overridden by heat that has no reason being there. Tenna seemed to ignore it. “WATCHED TV A LOT. BACK DURING YOUR [Big Shot!] DAYS. THE [City Life] HAD NEWR THINGS TO BROADCAST AFTER THAT [SPAMTON G. SPAMTON!] WAS KIC KED OUT OF THE [Queenie]’S MANSION.”
“He… he was what?!”
He could feel that censor snaking up his throat, threatening to cut his answer off. “[Eye] THINK THAT YOU SHOULD TALK TO SOMEONE WHO CAN [Say no more!]>>#<<.” He cursed at his voice clip changing the meaning of the sentence. “SOMEONE. WHO. CAN. SAY. MORE. ABOUT IT.”
“Can I… heheh, I just remembered when he refused to tell me stuff. Like you, a bit.” Tenna chuckled.
“[Number 1 Rated Salesman1997] SPAMTON G. SPAMTON? IS LIKE ME? ARENT I [Not good looking?]?”
Tenna seemed to take offense at the very idea. “Of course you are! I'm not just saying that. By the way. I think that you look stunning.”
“BUT<<-”
“No buts! And your Darkner form tells a story. A rather compelling one, really.” He put one hand in the air, as if laying out a picture. “Puppet, cut from his strings, gains freedom. Well, freedom to a certain degree, I'm told.”
“MOR3 LIK E [RUN RABBIT] TO MUTILATED TO LIVING IN THE [Trash Heap] TO NOW.”
“You… ran from what?” Tenna asked, a curious, innocent look on his face that he somehow wasn't faking.
“I CANT SAY. OR [Hyperlink Blocked] WONT LET ME. [Ring, ring!] MAN CURSED ME. MY BEN- [Hyperlink Blocked]! HE HELPED ME [Hyperlinks Blocked].” He found himself angrily cursing over every attempt to override the system. If Heaven couldn't let him be happy, couldn't they just LET HIM BE? “I [Hyperlink Blocked] TE-[Table Tennis], [Trash Heap], WHY CANT 1 S@Y [NAME YOUR VESSEL]. STUP1D [Hyperlink Blocked]. [$@#!]! <<^* I [Hyperlink Blocked] Y- [Egg yolk]<<<#<<<<@
“WOAH! Gmail! Slow down, I don't... understand, but you're glitching!” Tenna frantically looked around, not finding anything to calm it so…
Next thing Spamton knew, he was being tightly hugged by two large metal arms. The glitching faded almost immediately, that it was surprising. Even though a bright red blush took over his face. For Angel's sake, he didn't need blood! He wasn't an Addison anymore! Guess it was just a small price to pay.
He took in the warmth of the CRT. How it reminded him of better days where he would pick up Tenna’s glooby form and hug until he was the one drowning in the other's red suit.
“Are you alright, Gmail?”
He nodded, but said, “THA TS NOT MY [Name three things you see]>>.”
“Well, you didn't exactly tell me your real one.” Tenna huffed playfully.
“YOU LL GET [Mad Mew Mew]. ULL KICK ME OUT. ASK FOR ANSWERS I CANT [Give it your all!]#^<”
Tenna pulled away, and he nearly found himself reaching back towards him. “I promise that I won't. Please?”
And if Tenna had eyes, they would've been huge puppy eyes at this moment, matching the little pout on his screen. Little did he know that Spamton didn't need a big show to fold over like paper.
He took a breath.
“[Did you know, that when you blink-] WHAT SPAMTON'S FULL NAME WAS.” He asked. And he knew the answer, he never told anyone his middle name. To everyone else, he was just Spamton G. Spamton! He was an Addison!
He was spam mail.
“His full name was Spamton G. Spamton, of course. Everyone knew that!” Tenna explained. “What does this have to do with-”
“U THINK HIS MIDDLE NAME WAS JUST G. EAHAEHAEAEAHAHAHAHAEAHAEAHA.” His abnormal cackles practically echoed across the room. Barely able to stop them, he took a pillow, and practically buried himself in it.
Tenna joined in with chuckles of his own. “Well, now that you put it that way, that just seems stupid.” He admitted, finally able to crack a grin. Real and genuine, the puppet saw as he lifted his head. Not his nearly perfect showman's smile. Somehow, Spamton still found it adorable. It made his heart-shaped object beat faster than a marathon runner.
“SO WHAT DO [U-Turn] THINK HIS [Middle Child] NAME WAS, [Idiot Box];??"
Tenna sighed fondly, his grin a little more toothy in an attempt to seem scary, but was still soft around the edges. “Gmail! How did you even do that? That's so rude, hahaha! Can't teach the kids name-calling!.”
“[Insert DINGDINGDING.mp3 here]” Came the puppet's scratchy voice.
“Wait what?” Tenna asked, Completely puzzled. Utterly confused. Absolutely bamboozled. “What do you mean?”
“YOU GUESSED IT [First is the Worst] TRY, [Ant Farm for Sale]>>>!!!" Spamton exclaimed, somehow beaming with glee. “YOUR [Number 1 Rated Salesman1997]’S FULL NAME IS SPAMTON GMAIL SPAMTON<.>!!@!1!1!”
— — —
“Gmail…?” Tenna mused, lost in thought. “So… your real name is…”
“THE [One and Only], CATHODE!” Spamton exclaimed brightly. Tenna felt his heart swell for a second, before frowning lightly.
Now that he looks carefully, it was probably obvious. Except with slightly longer hair, the painted-on blush marks, and segmented joints. Spamton turned a shade of red the longer Tenna looked at him. Losing all his excitement-induced confidence too.
“YOUR E NOT [Angry Emoji]. I [Thoughts and Wishes] YOU WOULD BE [Police interrogation] ME.”
He didn't have time to say anything more as Tenna pulled him into a crushing hug, tears streaking the sides of his screen.
“What the fuck, Spamton??” Tenna very nearly sobbed. “You can't just- You're here… I can't believe you're here.”
“1 C4NT [Another Believer] IT EITHER, [Anteater].” Tenna choked back another laugh.
“Did you just call me anteater?” He asked, trying to hide his watery tone and sniffles.
“I MEANT TO SAY [Ant Colony]. [Ant Hill]. I- [$!@*]>>! YOU GET THE [Pointy Pencil]!!1!”
“Aww, I think it's cute!” He replied, trying to stop the flower on his nose from blooming, despite the fact that Spamton literally couldn't see his face.
He could feel the other's heartbeat race against his own chest, and after the flowers dropped onto the floor behind them both, he pulled back to find a very, very flustered puppet.
“[I Love TV!], [10/10]-A.” Spamton beamed proudly, surpassing both of those filters to a certain degree, and moved his hand to the side of the CRT's screen, who felt a very cold metal feeling that differentiated from the plastic of the puppet's hand. He peeled the limb off the side of his face, to see a gold band around one of Spamton's fingers. His teary smile stretched out further, and he pulled off his own glove to reveal a band around his own metal digit.
“Awwh, Spammy, I love you too.”
And he prayed to the Angel that Spamton knew that already. But, nothing saying it a few hundred times more wouldn't fix.