Chapter Text
If Seishiro had been told that in less than a year he would voluntarily enter an intense football program, he probably wouldn't have believed it, in fact, he wouldn't have even bothered to listen.
Six months ago, his life took a 360-degree turn, leaving behind a monotonous life to pursue a shared dream.
Simply because it's the most convenient route.
He was presented with a golden offer where he would practically not have to change his habits, with a salary that could allow him to retire young and live a full, uncomplicated life.
Because that's what he wanted from the beginning.
He wouldn't have to overexert himself, or run around the field like an idiot, thanks to his natural talent. Even though he didn't know much about soccer, he could see the difference between himself and the rest of his teammates back in every match at Hakuho.
And more importantly, the person who confirmed his genius status was none other than Reo Mikage.
Everything Reo said carried a conviction that resonated with Seishiro. Reo told him he wouldn't have to change, that he didn't have to exert himself, that he should just wait for his passes, and most importantly, that they would win the World Cup. And if Reo said it, it has to be an irrefutable fact.
But Reo was wrong.
The bubble of invincibility had burst, and being the best in the world had become just a possibility. Worst of all, the team that had beaten them was the worst in the building.
Seishiro discovered two things in that match:
- He didn't like losing.
- That their duo, Nagi and Reo, had been surpassed.
His decision was to go to the catalyst for all of this. That's why, after learning they would have to form groups of three for the next selection, Seishiro teamed up with Isagi to learn how to overcome rivals.
After saying goodbye to Reo, he crossed the threshold with Isagi and Bachira. It was a rather long hallway, the quiet footsteps of the three of them being the only sound. Bachira who first broke the silence.
”Nagi-chii! I didn't think you were so cold! Reo seemed displeased…”
He remembered the face Reo made when he turned around; without a doubt, it was a face of disappointment and frustration.
Seishiro had seen Reo make faces of exasperation or anger towards other people on other occasions, but not one that expressed sadness and anger at the same time, especially when Seishiro was the target.
Just as Seishiro opened his mouth to reply to Bachira, he felt his throat close up; a weight was growing heavier in his chest, momentarily suffocating him. He stopped in his tracks to cough and relieve the discomfort that was preventing him from breathing normally.
With his hand covering his mouth, Seishiro finally managed to calm down. However, something sticky was still clinging to his palm.
"Nagi, are you okay? I didn't notice you were sick before..." Isagi inquired somewhat hesitantly.
Ah, it would be annoying to have a sick partner for the group phase.
“Mm, I'm fine.”
"This corridor is rather coll, perhaps that's it? You won't tolerate the cold for long outside Blue Lock, Nagi-chii!" Bachira exclaimed, quickening his pace and pulling Isagi along by the shoulders to keep up. "Then we have to move quickly!"
Once he had left it behind, Seishiro took his hand away from his mouth and to his surprise a blood-stained petal was resting on it.
Wow, that's strange...
Seishiro was never the type to get sick for no reason. If he caught a cold, it was because he hadn't dried his hair; if he got a fever, it was because he forgot his umbrella and had to walk back in the rain. So, spitting up blood, and for some reason a petal too, seemed strange to him.
He should blame the Blue Lock cafeteria, as he couldn't see any other reason for expelling a petal unless he had swallowed it.
Thinking so much is such a pain…
He made a fist as he entered the next room. It certainly wouldn't happen again, so there was no need to worry about it.
It got worse at night.
Seishiro was huddled under the covers of his bed, just in case the cold was aggravating his bloody cough. His throat burned as his hands filled with petals mixed in his own blood.
That same day they had lost to the number one team, also losing Bachira. Isagi was completely exhausted from the events, so he didn't hear Seishiro sneak off to go to the restrooms.
Once there, he approached the nearest toilet to expel what he had been holding in. His entire throat burned; it was an indescribable pain, more like a cry of blood. He doesn't know exactly how long he was there, but once he calmed down again—that is, his breathing became easier—he could see yellow petals tinged with red stuck to the inside of the toilet bowl.
At Hakuho, Seishiro was in charge of watering the classroom plants, including the flowers brought in by the gardening club. He remembered seeing some flowers with similar petals among them.
Ah, they're yellow roses. But why would I cough this up?
Had he swallowed a seed? Or was it a side effect of his former gelatin diet?
There were so many questions but no answers. He considered going to the infirmary, but he wouldn't know how to explain his problem. What if no one believed his story and thought he might be the victim of witchcraft.
Reo would know what to do… I'd better wait to tell him.
If there was anyone who understood Seishiro since day one, it was Reo Mikage. Whatever he had, no matter what was happening, Reo knew exactly how to handle the situation.
After washing his mouth and hands, Seishiro returned to bed more calmly.
…
The calm down again on the second night since he separated from Reo.
This time there were three of them in the room. At the slightest discomfort in his throat, Seishiro rushed out to the bathroom. Barou seemed like the type to be a light sleeper and would wake up at the slightest noise.
Repeating what he'd done the night before, he emptied his throat of all the discomfort and pain that seemed to be starting because of those wretched flowers inside him. Once it starts, it can't stop; he wants to get rid of it as soon as possible. His eyes were watering from the burning sensation of coughing as he expelled what he could.
Seishiro doesn't remember when he last cried, but he does remember when he almost did.
One day in the first few months after he met Reo, long before cycling home became a daily occurrence, Seishiro fell ill for not heeding the weatherman and not carrying an umbrella.
It was a fever, not too serious, but enough to be staying home. It would be the same as the other times, sleeping until it passed, or so Seishiro thought until he heard his apartment doorbell ring.
He didn't listen at first, they must have made a mistake.
The doorbell rang several times, insistently. But Seishiro was either just as persistent, or lazy enough not to get up and answer it. He turned in his bed, his back to the door in protest.
That's when his cell phone, which wasn't far from him, rang. It wasn't a notification from one of his games reminding him of his daily rewards, it was his ringtone, displaying Reo's contact on the screen. Seishiro pressed the button to answer the call, anticipating what Reo would say next.
"Nagi! You're home, right?" Reo's voice sounded somewhat exasperated, but before Nagi could even reply, Reo continued, "I know you're there! Open the door, you've had me waiting for ages."
"I'm going..." Getting out of bed seemed like too much effort, especially with his tired body and now with the excuse of being sick. Nevertheless, he ended up doing it since making his boss wait outside any longer wasn't a good idea.
"Finally! I was about to break down the door..." Reo was still wearing his pressed Hakuho uniform, carrying his bag and a plastic bag that drew attention. "Anyway, excuse me!"
Reo made his way into Seishiro's small apartment; he had visited it before, it was after winning his first match. He left his school bag by the entrance.
“Nagi, you need to go back to bed. My treasure needs to rest as much as possible before returning to the field.” He said, then dragged Seishiro to the bed.
“Ehh, I was already doing that before you arrived.” He replied without resistance.
Once Reo was lying down, he began taking things out of the plastic bag he had brought. Starting with a thermometer, which he shoved into Seishiro's mouth without warning.
“Nagi, where do you keep the towels?”
"Bleh, in the lower bathroom cabinet," Seishiro said, adjusting the thermometer, which was cold. Reo quickly headed in that direction.
Seishiro stared at the ceiling, which seemed to be moving; perhaps he was feeling dizzy after getting up and exerting himself. Being sick was a constant nuisance; his whole body burned, and he felt weak. On days like this, all he wanted was to sleep, and little by little, he drifted off.
Reo returned in a second or minutes, who knows; Seishiro was starting to lose track of time. In his hands, he carried a small towel and a bucket of water. He sat on the floor beside Seishiro's bed. The first thing he did was remove the thermometer so he could look at it.
"Nagi, you're burning up! You have a temperature of 40°C..." Reo exclaimed worriedly. "Did you at least take some medicine?" Seishiro shook his head.
Reo sighed, then took some medicine packets out of the previous bag.
“Do you prefer powder or pill form?”
Ahhh, the taste of the powdered medicine was disgusting and no matter how much water I drink, it always leaves a bad taste… But pills are also a pain to swallow.
"Hey, Nagi!" Seishiro, undecided between the two ideas, turned in bed, his back to Reo. "You need to take the medicine to get better."
Seishiro still didn't turn around; he might be acting childish, but he really wasn't thinking clearly. He just knew that the medicine was a complete nuisance.
"Look, I'll take a glass too, okay?" Reo suggested when he saw Nagi refuse. Obviously, unlike Nagi's glass, which contained the diluted medicine, Reo's glass only contained water. But Nagi didn't need to know that.
After drinking the glass, Reo placed a cool towel on his forehead to lower the heat.
Seishiro felt strange. Despite feeling warm throughout his body, he also noticed a tightness near his chest as his heartbeat quickened. Wow, he'd never experienced these symptoms before, not even when he was sick. Seeing Reo caring for him with an affectionate smile only made his face feel hotter and his eyes water. But he felt good. He felt right.
“Recover soon, my treasure!”
After spitting everything into the toilet, Seishiro blinked rapidly to clear his vision and calm his breathing.
A painkiller would do him good right now. Reo would know which one to give him, Reo would know how to help him, Reo would know how to take care of him.
Suddenly, he felt a large lump forming, almost choking him. Coughing wasn't enough; he had to force himself to vomit to get it out. Inside the toilet lay the head of a whole flower.
A yellow chrysanthemum…
Seishiro gently rubbed his neck from the earlier exertion. This was out of control; he needed to talk to Reo soon.
The talk came the next day, to be more precise, after training when everyone was in the showers.
Before he could even enter, Seishiro felt a tug of potential petals forming at the back of his throat. Excusing himself, he quickly went to the cubicle area away from the showers.
Clutching both sides of the toilet, he expelled a large number of black petals stained with blood. They weren't that big, and it didn't hurt that much to spit them out. Or perhaps the burning in his throat had already reached the point where it couldn't get any worse.
The coughs, along with the petals, came frequently, not loudly but often. He seemed a little more dizzy, but perhaps that was due to his irregular breathing.
Seishiro wanted to get out of there as soon as possible, go to his room and take his well-deserved nap. But first he would have to shower because the idea of sleeping sweaty bothered him more.
He showered in silence, almost automatically, without hearing his companions' conversation. Being in the showers seemed to exhaust him more with each passing second. When he finally got into the bathtub, all he wanted was to relax and float in the water. That's when he heard Reo's voice.
Seishiro straightened up quickly so he could see Reo, who was sitting on the curb, his hair swept back and his gaze fixed on Seishiro.
Finally, he was face to face with Reo. The overwhelming desire to see him made it impossible to tear his gaze away, adding a weight to his chest. In the steamy bathroom, Seishiro felt his vision clear and become more vibrant as he finally saw Reo.
He didn't take long to get up and go to his side, where he belonged.
"Reo, I have so much to tell you!" He exclaimed, raising his hand toward Reo. It had been so long since he’d been in his presence (three days), neither his touch nor the comfort he exuded. Seishiro was surprised by his own enthusiasm, the volume of his voice, and the strange joy he felt. It was clear he had missed him. "A lot has happened, I don't know where—"
That's when Reo abruptly pulled his hand away before he could even touch him. His gaze was cold and tired, his expression lacking the same enthusiasm.
“We are rivals now, Nagi” Reo spewed venom from his mouth, Seishiro began to feel a different weight than before forming in his chest, which threatened to rise up his throat and spread throughout the bathtub.
He didn't understand anything: Reo's annoyance, why he looked at him so badly, why he rejected contact, why when Seishiro was the one who wanted to talk between the two of them, he was denied.
Seishiro tuned out the rest of the conversation, and he returned to the cubicle as soon as he could, as breathing was becoming difficult for him.
He spat out the same black petals as before, the difference now being that it was also a whole flower, and when he tried to get rid of it, it hurt more than the previous nights. He could see that the flower was completely black, only the blood gave it a crimson hue.
Black dahlia…
Seishiro never liked these flowers; they were too dark and depressing. But the school club also had purple dahlias. He watered those more carefully because they were worth it.
Even though he wanted to choose Reo for his team, it was obvious that choosing Chigiri was the most efficient option. Even though he still had a bittersweet feeling about the distance Reo kept between them, he couldn't help but approach him. No matter the circumstances, Seishiro always wanted to be close.
"Reo, the last play went well thanks to you..." Seishiro felt a little nervous, which was unusual since he always found Reo’s presence incredibly calming. The praise came naturally because it was genuine; Reo truly was amazing, and even though they would have to go their separate ways again, Seishiro wanted to share everything he had noticed during the match.
“Then, choose me.” Reo abruptly cut the tension, again with that cold stare that only made Seishiro choke up. “I don't want to hear excuses, if you're going to abandon me, do it now, damn it.”
Seishiro reached a point where he was fed up with Reo's attitude; he still didn't understand what made him so angry. He had only made the decisions to grow in a place like Blue Lock, to avoid losing again, to avoid seeing Reo's desperate face again.
Seishiro's words weighed heavily on him; he couldn't process what he'd said, but his breathing became ragged. He didn't wait for anyone before leaving through the winning team's door. He didn't notice Isagi approaching Reo to say something.
But when the doors closed, he felt his ragged breathing stop in an instant, as if something heavy were closing in on his lungs and throat. He didn't even have time to cover his mouth, because the cough came out without warning, just like the bloody petals. He felt his knees hit the cold floor as he heard the worried voices of his companions.
Seishiro's eyes were watery, his gaze fixed on the ground, trying to calm himself. But all he could make out were the withered, blood-stained roses on the ground.
Consciousness slipped from his grasp, the burning sensation in his neck receded. And finally, he closed his eyes.
Seishiro woke up in a completely white space, which was strange since all he could see since arriving at Blue Lock were the metal walls of that prison.
"Drink, you need it." Seishiro turned his head to face Isagi, offering him a glass of water. Beside him sat Chigiri, arms crossed, tilting his head thoughtfully. "Besides being a soccer genius, you also grow plants on yourself? Definitely a very strange creature."
The water trickled painfully down his neck; that's when he remembered collapsing in the middle of the hallway. Now, looking around, Seishiro realized he was in the infirmary.
"How long have you been like this?" Chigiri began, in a soft tone. "What the nurse told us is worrying."
"Mm, since the beginning of the second selection," Seishiro noticed his voice was raspier, but he answered anyway. "I still don't know what it is... Thinking about it is annoying."
“Ha, of course you'd say that.” Chigiri and Isagi exchanged a glance before the latter continued the conversation.
“That means it's spreading very fast, too fast in fact, it's abnormal…”
“The feelings are very strong then.”
Huh? Feelings?
"I don't understand..." Isagi bit his lower lip before explaining, as if it were difficult to communicate. Seishiro wasn't amused.
“What you're experiencing right now is called Hanahaki. It's a somewhat famous legend… but I didn't think it was real. Basically, flowers grow in your lungs, which is why you had that coughing fit earlier… The cause of this illness is unrequited love.”
The room fell silent, Seishiro's usually poker face now showing indescribable confusion.
Unrequited love?
This must be the most elaborate prank they could have played on him, since the joke only works if they hint that Seishiro would fall in love.
Love is pointless, it's just a nuisance…
“I'm not in love with anyone.”
Now it was Chigiri who was biting his tongue to avoid saying anything, while Isagi began to speak instead.
“Don't you feel different when you're with someone?”
“No.”
“But cheerful, or more peaceful?”
With Reo, but he's my best friend…
“Do you feel that someone changed your perspective on things?”
Reo again.
“Do you want to be next to someone all the time?”
"Reo" he finally answered aloud.
“Then I think you can find your answer there.”
It never occurred to Seishiro that what he experienced with Reo was anything other than platonic; after all, Reo was his first friend. Perhaps that's where the line between platonic and romantic began to blur.
On second thought, since his illness began, the first person he wanted to tell was Reo; his first thought is always Reo. Seishiro doesn't know when he started loving Reo differently than everyone else.
But this is because of an unrequited love.
Even though Seishiro had just figured out his feelings, the situation seemed strange to him. Reo was the first person to approach him with genuine interest. The first person to care about him. The first person to show affection to someone like Seishiro.
Ah, but Reo is angry now.
Perhaps that first defeat also had an effect on Reo, just as it did on Seishiro. But for Reo, that match made him realize that Seishiro wasn't the perfect genius he so intensely believed him to be.
And perhaps that was why Seishiro was so determined to improve this time. So that their shared dream wouldn't falter and they could continue pursuing it together.
Seishiro wanted to believe what Reo reaffirmed to him that day, but the uncertainty always remained.
Nagi was disposable; there was no way Reo could feel the same way about him. He was a fool for wanting more than a dream from which he could always be expelled.
He felt a hand rest on his closed fist; the contact brought him back from his thoughts.
The room was still silent; nothing was different from when he woke up, except that his face was wet.