Archive of Our Own

Kara is in the backyard when the explosion goes off. Her house catches flames immediately. Her parents are in her father’s lab, she knows, but when she tries to run into the building to get them she finds that her legs are incapable of moving.

So Kara stands, and Kara watches, and Kara’s house burns to the ground.

The firefighters are too late. The police take her to the station and ask her if she has anywhere to go, but all she has is her aunt in jail back in their home country of Kaznia.

The Danvers’ take her in; they worked with her father a few years back before he quit to focus on his own private research. They are kind and treat her as their own, but Kara is thirteen years old and she misses her parents more than anything. Their daughter, Alex, is two years older than her and seems to hate her. They went to the same elementary school and were forced to spend time together the few times their parents had dinner together, but Alex has always seemed  to find Kara annoying at best.

She sneaks back to her old house one night a few weeks later, climbing out of the window of the bedroom she shares with her foster sister. Her home is halfway across the town and the brick is charred. The walls inside are stained with smoke, the air thick and hard to breathe through.

She explores the rubble, the crumbling walls and creaking floors. Her father’s lab is the worst; she’s grateful the bodies of her parents have long been removed.

That’s when she sees the spider. Radioactive, genetically engineered, her father’s passion project. She doesn’t look like much, she remembers him saying, but if I work hard enough, this little guy might be a lead in curing illness. He thought that if he enhanced the spider’s abilities enough, he could merge its DNA with a human’s. He could give a human its strength, its speed.

Somehow, this little spider was strong enough to survive the fire. 

Kara has only ever seen it through the glass of its cage before, but it’s easy to recognize: its legs are coloured an unnatural red and blue that almost seem to glow in the dark of the smoke-stained and charred debris. She scoops it up in her hands and weeps, because it was her father’s. Because somehow, this tiny thing had survived whatever blew her parents to bits. She doesn’t know whether to hate it or love it.

And the spider, small and weak and starving in a building where the smoke has repelled all of its possible food away, spends its dying actions sinking its little fangs into Kara’s finger.

And this — this is how it all begins.

The bite changes Kara in a lot of ways: she grows practically overnight. While her muscles have never been particularly weak, they grow far more defined. Her glasses that she’s been wearing since she was six years old suddenly turn her vision blurry; she doesn’t need them anymore. Her hearing gets infinitely better, and sometimes the hair on the back of her neck stands on end and there’s a tingle down her spine and her body automatically jerks to the side moments before a soccer ball soars through the air right where she was standing.

And, strangest of all, she’s sticky. Like, really sticky.

When she wakes up two days after being bitten and tries to tug her bedsheets off her body, they stick to her hand like it's been doused in glue. No matter how hard she tugs and pulls, they don’t come loose.

When Alex comes in approximately five minutes later, Kara’s feet are stuck to the ceiling and her duvet is glued to her hands as she tries to tear it away with her teeth.

They have a long conversation after that. Kara tearfully confesses that she was bitten by her dad’s spider and Alex laughs, then realises she’s serious and proceeds to call her a freak.

Their relationship remains rocky for another few months until Kara graduates into high school and overhears Alex’s best friend Vicki giggling with a group of girls about how Alex Danvers is a freak, a lesbian, how she tried to kiss Vicki and how she probably has a crush on every girl at their school. She’s so gross, Vicki says. And you know, I never even liked her much as a friend, anyways. She’s a total weirdo. I’m going to tell everyone.

Kara breaks her nose. She gets sent to the principal’s office and is suspended for three days, and Alex is pissed at her until Kara tells her what she heard.

They get along better after that.

Kara flies under the radar for the next few years. She knows that she has these amazing new powers, but she doesn’t know what to do with them. Midvale is a small town with an even smaller crime rate.

So, in all honesty, she ignores her abilities. Focuses on her grades. She graduates from high school on honour roll and is accepted into National City University - the same school her sister goes to - to pursue a journalism degree.

It’s her move to National City that really sets things into motion. See, National City is huge. Its population is in the millions. When Kara visited Alex in the city over the past two years, she fell asleep to the sound of sirens every night.

National City is bustling with life. It’s full of energy, and Kara loves it. Even though it overwhelms her enhanced senses, she loves the city like she’s lived here her whole life. Everyone who wants to be anyone goes to National City: it’s where Lex Luthor, the most powerful man in the world, and his company Luthor Corp reside. It’s where CatCo and Obsidian North headquarters are. It’s the West Coast’s very own New York City.

She falls into her role as a university student easily. She attends all of her lectures and hands in all of her assignments on time. Living in an apartment just off campus with Alex is exciting; she loves Eliza dearly, but the thrill of living essentially independently and without a ‘responsible adult’ is exhilarating.

Kara feels well and truly normal. She can’t tell if that’s a good thing or not.

Two months into her life in National City, Kara is heading home from a late lecture and is desperately craving a chocolate bar. It’s eleven at night yet there are still a few people wandering the streets, lit only by the pale moon and the orange streetlights.

She steps into a twenty-four hour convenience store just a few blocks away from her apartment. Despite the hour, there’s still a small line in front of the register and a few people are milling through the aisles.

Kara shifts her backpack on her shoulders and heads to the candy aisle. Her phone in her pocket buzzes — probably Alex asking when she’ll be home. Kara doesn’t bother to reply; she’ll be home in fifteen minutes at most. Alex can wait that long.

It’s as she’s picking up a chocolate bar that the hair on her neck begins to stand up. Her skin prickles, a low ringing starting in her eyes. She suddenly feels cold, a low pounding at the back of her head.

She whirls around seconds before a man storms into the store, waving a pistol around in the air. He fires off two shots that have Kara covering her ears, and everyone’s attention is drawn to him.

“Everybody get down!” he roars, and people immediately drop to the ground and scramble out of his way. Kara takes cover behind a stand, her heart pounding in her ears as the man approaches the kid behind the register. He points the gun at him and growls, “Give me all the money in there.”

“Um,” the kid stammers out, and Kara can see his hands shaking, “I, uh — I’m not s’posed to—”

“I don’t give a shit,” the man growls, and Kara watches as his finger twitches on the trigger.

“The - the register doesn’t open without a purchase,” the kid shakily explains.

The man sneers. “I don’t give a shit. Open it up.”

“I can’t,” the kid replies, and the man slams his hands on the counter. The noise reverberates throughout the store.

Kara needs to do something. She has to do something. Her skin is still crawling, her senses going haywire. If she has these strange abilities, shouldn’t she do something with them? She’s always wanted to help but she never had the chance to — now she does. 

As the man continues to shout at the poor teenager, that pulsing in the back of her head and the ringing in her ears get worse.

Suddenly she’s across the room. She grabs the man’s wrist and shoves it upwards just as his finger pulls down the trigger. The bullet creates a third hole in the ceiling, dust littering down on them.

Both the kid and the man stare at her with wide eyes. Kara twists the man’s wrist before he can do anything else, the gun clattering to the ground as he hisses in pain.

Her ears pick up on the sound of sirens in the distance. Her heart slams against her ribcage. The ringing in her ears dissipates, the prickling of her skin disappearing. That sudden anxiety is gone.

The police arrive and take the man in custody. Kara has to give a statement and is berated by the officers for putting herself in danger, but the kid who she saved thanks her once the cops are gone. He’s still trembling, and he’s alone while he waits for his parents to pick him up, so Kara gives him a quick hug and waits with him until they arrive.

She arrives home an hour later than she thought she would, and Alex stops her anxious pacing to grab Kara by the shoulders and aggressively shake her as soon as she walks through the door.

“I’m sorry!” Kara apologises once Alex stops her rant. “I wanted a snack so I went to the convenience store, but then some guy with a gun showed up and he was threatening the kid who was running the register, and my senses were going all crazy and I couldn’t just stand there, so I stepped in before anything could happen and I used a bit of my strength and—”

“You what?” Alex cuts in, her eyes wide. Her lips curl into a frown, her eyebrows furrowing. She’s upset, Kara knows, but she can see the clear worry behind it. “Kara, I told you not to use your abilities in public! Do you know how dangerous that is?”

They’ve had this conversation about a hundred times at this point; Alex doesn’t want Kara to use her enhanced abilities because she thinks it might put her in danger. If people find out that she possesses these crazy abilities, they might want to study her. They might try to hurt her. It will put a target on her back.

“But I didn’t ‘use my abilities’,” Kara retorts. “It’s not like I can control my senses. I can’t turn them off. And I just used a bit of extra strength to disarm him. Nothing that would incriminate me.”

“You can’t be doing stuff like this, Kara!” Alex hisses, running a hand through her hair. She’s obviously stressed and Kara feels guilty for causing that, but she can’t see what she did so wrong.

She helped someone today. She saved someone. She can’t be faulted for that. 

“These abilities are a gift from my father,” Kara says, straightening up and puffing out her chest, trying to make herself bigger than she really is. “If I have the chance to help someone with them, I want to. I refuse to just be a bystander to someone else’s pain.”

“This is dangerous!” Alex says. “Do not do this again, Kara. Do you hear me?” Kara works her jaw, frowns, curls her hands into fists. Alex’s face softens, a hint of guilt in her eyes. “I just want you to be safe, Kara. You’re my little sister. I love you.”

Kara closes her eyes, lets out a small sigh. She blinks her eyes open and offers Alex a weak smile. “I know. I love you too.”

Alex returns her smile before dismissing herself and heading off to bed. Kara watches her go, letting her smile fall.

Two weeks pass of Kara doing nothing. The inactivity makes her antsy. She’s never been a very still person, but now more than ever she finds herself incapable of remaining in place.

Kara wants to help. Alex may not want her to, but Kara does. She has the abilities: the strength, the speed, the enhanced senses. These abilities are the only thing she has left of her parents. To forget them is to forget her parents. To ignore them is to ignore all of the hard work her father had done.

No. She can’t just sit around. Not anymore. She wants to do something – she needs to. Now that she’s acted with these abilities, she can no longer leave them on the sidelines.

Kara has a face mask that she carries around with her in case she gets sick or the air quality gets bad. She grabs an old plain blue sip-up sweater and a pair of red sweatpants, colours reminiscent of that spider she killed, and she dons those as she scours the city for any trouble.

She waits until Alex is asleep or busy with her new job interning at the FBI to sneak out of the apartment, wandering the streets until her ears pick up on shouts or sirens. She stops robberies at small businesses, saves cats from trees, helps elderly people cross the street. In her most popular rescue, she crawls up the side of a burning building to rescue a mother and her baby from the top floor.

CatCo publishes an article about it: a photo of her sticking to the side of the building and handing the baby to its mother with the title ‘WHO IS THE MYSTERIOUS SPIDER-WOMAN?’.

That’s when Kara gets her name. That is also when Alex finds out.

She’s mad. She shouts until her face is red, until she’s crying from worry and stress and panic. Kara yells back, cries as well.

(“I can’t lose you, too.”

“You can’t stop me from being who I truly am.”)

Their argument lasts for eight whole days, until Alex begrudgingly accepts that Kara is not giving up. She makes Kara promise that she will be safe, that she won’t get into any situation over her head. Kara swears that she will do everything she can to be careful, apologises for the worry she has and will cause Alex.

Alex, in turn, offers to teach Kara how to fight — like, properly. Because Kara has been going off of instinct these past few weeks and her knuckles are bruised to all hell. Alex has always been the scrappy one. So she spends a few days showing Kara how to throw a punch without hurting herself, how to take a hit and get back up, how to block and kick and use her enhanced senses to her advantage.

Kara appreciates it. She appreciates everything Alex has ever done for her. She loves that Alex looks out for her, that she wants to protect her, that she loves her back.

She loves that Alex, at the end of their brief training sessions, says that she believes in her.

With Alex backing her, Kara feels like she can do anything.

If Kara is really going to stick with this hero thing, she needs a way to travel around the city faster. The city is huge, and there’s only one of her. She can’t drive, both because of traffic and because it would make her identity easier to find out, and she definitely can’t run across the city; that would take hours.

She needs a way to travel through the city quickly without hitting traffic and without wearing herself out completely in the process.

That’s when the idea hits her: what if she uses some kind of grappling hook? Something to swing between the buildings that would keep her above traffic and give her a birds-eye-view of the city.

But grappling hooks are expensive, and they probably aren’t as easy to use in real life as they are in movies, and Kara doesn’t know if that’s entirely legal — not that fighting crime in the city without permission from the law enforcement is legal itself.

So… what if she makes something? Kara may be a bit awkward and clumsy and foolish, if her sister is to be believed, but she’s smart. She helped her father in his lab at least once a week between the ages of eight to thirteen.

As a now second-year student at NCU, she has access to all of its facilities. That includes the laboratories. Even more so now that she is taking a biochemistry class as a way to honour her father. She’s supposed to only be in the lab with a professor supervising in case of emergencies, but Kara’s sure they won’t mind if she sneaks in when it’s empty and works on her own project.

It takes her almost a dozen times, but she eventually creates a fluid that mimics a spider’s web when it’s exposed to oxygen. It’s incredibly sticky and dissipates on its own after a few hours. After that, it’s only a matter of creating some contraption that can hold the webs and shoot them out whenever she wants.

She gets some help from her biochem classmate with an interest in mechanics, Winn, asking him ‘hypothetical’ questions about how one could create these things.

After two weeks, three minor electrical shocks and a lot of trial and error, Kara creates a pair of functioning devices she decides to call webshooters.

Swinging through the city on them is exhilarating. It’s practically like flying. She doesn't think that the jolt in her stomach as she drops and the swoop as she catches herself will ever get old.

She can swing across the city in a manner of minutes. She can stop a break-in on one side and then prevent a robbery on the other and still have time to spare.

Kara has been Spider-Woman for six months when she realises she definitely needs a new costume. Her ratty old sweater and sweatpants have been sewn back together so many times that they’re more stitchwork than actual fabric at this point. The fabric is also flimsy; it does nothing to soften the blows she receives, and during the summer she was practically sweating to death.

So Kara swallows her pride and goes to Winn, who she has formed something of a friendship with. Winn goes to practically every convention hosted in National City, and he cosplays various comic book and movie characters at each one in costumes that he sews by hand. It’s incredibly impressive, and Kara could desperately use his skills so she doesn’t look like a kid playing dress-up anymore.

Winn is absolutely enthusiastic upon learning Kara’s identity. He’s happy to help her create a costume, talking her ear off the entire time as he sews the costume together. They spend a few nights at his place, Kara answering all of his questions and purchasing pizza for the two of them, getting to know each other better. By the time Winn has made her new costume, he’s basically her best friend.

And the costume – it’s amazing. Red and blue, just like the spider, with gold accents. There are lines mimicking webs crawling across the suit, a proper mask that covers her entire face with lenses of Winn’s own invention that contract with her own eye movements. On the center of her chest is a golden spider, and in the very center of that, the logo of the company her father had been trying to start. Something like an ‘S’ in the middle of a diamond, small and hard to see unless you’re close. Something no one will recognise, seeing as her father never got the chance to get the company off the ground.

When Kara puts the costume on for the first time, she feels like an actual superhero. She feels like she’s something real, no longer just a kid trying to make a better place.

Kara feels like Spider-Woman, the up-and-coming hero of National City. She loves it.

While National City takes to Spider-Woman quite well, the police do not. They label her a vigilante, a nuisance. They put out a warrant for her arrest, framing her as a danger to the city.

Much to Kara’s relief, most of the civilians don’t believe that. When Kara sweeps in to stop petty crime or to offer her help to the regular people of National City, they thank her profusely and warn her when the police have been called.

Something about the citizens of National City looking out for her the same way she looks out for them fills her with so much joy. She protects them; and they protect her.

Balancing her activities as Spider-Woman with her studies isn’t all that difficult as she approaches the end of her second year. While she has to take some time off from patrolling to study for exams and finish up some of her end-of-year assignments, none of them are too difficult and she’s back to swinging around the city in no time.

It’s surprisingly easy, being a hero and a student at the same time. It’s freeing.

She loves it.

The Green Goblin, though he isn’t given that name until much later, introduces himself during the summer by trying to explode the Luthor Corp building.

Kara is patrolling the city when the first bomb goes off on the very top floor of the building, the windows exploding outwards. When Kara swings up, she finds a man with a horrific green mask over his face, soaring around on an honest-to-god hoverboard with colourful bombs strapped to his chest. He’s wearing a green and purple metallic suit, the sun glinting off of it.

He doesn’t stay to introduce himself. He just sneers at Kara, flies out of the building as she swings in. The air is thick with smoke and she strains her ears to listen for anyone caught in the fire.

The top floor is Lex Luthor’s office, but the news has been talking about his vacation to the Maldives for weeks. His younger sister was supposed to take over for him while he was gone, but she isn’t in the building either. The only person stuck behind the flames is Lex’s assistant, a woman named Eve, who Kara gingerly carries and swings down to the streets below.

No one other than Kara got a clear look at the perpetrator, and Kara doesn’t particularly want to stick around to give the police a statement. The only thing the news can report is that a flying green-and-purple figure was spotted fleeing the scene, and that there were no casualties.

Upon graduating from NCU, Alex is immediately offered a permanent position by the FBI. It seems her boss while she was interning, a man named J’onn J’onzz, grew quite fond of her. She spends the entire summer working long hours, doing things she can’t tell Kara about, though one day she comes home and rather ominously assures Kara that the FBI won’t pose a problem against Spider-Woman. She also finds herself a lovely girlfriend named Kelly Olsen, a therapist who occasionally works with the FBI on more severe cases that Kara still cannot know about.

Kara herself begins interning at CatCo, working directly under Cat Grant. She was apparently one of the only people who applied for the job, she learns, due to Miss Grant having such a severe reputation. But Miss Grant seems to take to her quite well if any of Kara’s coworkers are to be believed; just two weeks in she’s apparently the longest-lasting assistant Cat has had in a long time.

Cat Grant, Kara later learns, is the one who coined the name Spider-Woman. It feels like a full circle situation, being able to give back to the woman who gave her a reputation.

Her internship doesn’t conflict with her life as Spider-Woman all too much, which Kara is grateful for. She spends eight hours a day on weekdays shadowing Cat Grant, fetching her coffees and pastries and layouts for the magazine. She spends the early mornings and late nights swinging through the city searching for people to help and basking in the sheer joy that swinging around brings her.

The people in the streets call out to her and wave. She briefly stops by a park one Saturday afternoon and the kids playing rush over to her. She picks them up and spins them around and does flips for them, lets them touch her webs and examine her webshooters. She pets dogs and feeds stray cats and develops a rapport with the man who runs the hotdog stand just outside of the City Square.

Ever since Kara made her debut as Spider-Woman, crime rates in National City have been rapidly declining. She knows that she is not the only reason for this, but she can’t help but feel proud of herself nonetheless.

She keeps an eye out for that purple-and-green man who tried to blow up Luthor Corp, but she doesn’t see or hear about him at all. It’s almost as if he never even existed, as if he was a figment of Kara's imagination.

Kara spends the summer between her second and third year growing closer to the locals of National City, and her love for the place grows even stronger.

Kara saves Lena Luthor before she officially meets her. It turns out that when you’re the daughter of an incredibly rich family and the sibling of one of the most powerful men on Earth, people will try to have you killed.

She’s watching the city from atop a building when that pounding in the back of her head starts up, when goosebumps spread across her skin. Her ears zero in on the sound of shouting, on the sound of a gun cocking, and she’s diving into streets as fast as she can.

There’s a man just a few blocks down pointing a gun at a woman’s head just outside of Luthor Corp. He’s giving some speech, vitriol dripping from his voice, and Kara doesn’t bother to let him finish. She swings into him feetfirst, sending him sprawling to the ground. The gun goes off in the process, the bullet going wide and shattering a window right beside the woman’s head. She webs his hand holding the gun to the ground, and then shoots a web across his mouth as he begins to snarl out threats.

Kara turns to the woman and immediately recognises her as Lena Luthor, younger sister of Lex Luthor. She’s only ever seen her on TV before, and Kara is momentarily left breathless at how beautiful she is.

People begin to crowd around, passersby from the street and workers from the office. The peer at the three of them with wide eyes, but nobody steps closer.

“Spider-Woman,” Lena blinks her big, beautiful eyes at her. “I - what a surprise. Thank you.”

“Miss Luthor,” Kara says, her voice cracking like a prepubescent teenager. You know about me?, she wants to ask, but she decides it’s probably best not to. She clears her throat, stands up straighter. “Miss Luthor! Oh my gosh, are you okay? Did he hurt you? Do you know who he is?”

“I - I’m fine,” Lena stammers, eyes shifting between Kara and the man on the ground. “I don’t know him. I was just going to visit the office and this man jumped out at me. I… I don’t know how he knew I would be coming here. Nobody does.”

“You should call the police,” Kara advises, taking a step towards Lena and angling her body so the man couldn’t see Lena past her. “Head into the building and go up to your brother’s office.”

Lena nods her head, stunned and probably in shock. Kara grimaces, looking out at the crowd forming. “Somebody call the cops, yeah?”

Multiple heads nod, and Kara takes a few steps away with guilt weighing in her heart. She can’t stay – the cops aren’t exactly her biggest fans. But she doesn’t want to leave Lena alone, not when she has that terrified look on her face.

“You’re going to be okay,” Kara says, softer than she intended. “Just head inside and get to safety, okay?”

Lena nods once more, not saying a word. Kara turns away, glad that no one can see the frown on her face.

And as Kara begins to swing away, her eyes land on Lena one last time. Lena, who remains on her lonesome despite the fact that someone just tried to kill her. No one goes to comfort her. No one asks if she’s okay.

Lena stands there, alone, and Kara’s heart aches for her.

It’s only a day later when Kara walks into her first biochem lecture of the semester and lays eyes upon Lena Luthor, tucked away in the very back of the hall.

Kara stops. Blinks. Considers she may be hallucinating. But other people are staring, doing doubletakes, and Kara realises that Lena Luthor is very much real. And so Kara, so deeply curious and enthralled by this woman, climbs the steps to the very back of the hall and awkwardly hovers behind a seat one chair away from her.

Lena glances at her and raises a brow. She’s — stunning isn’t a strong enough word. Breathtaking. She’s beautiful, and she was before, but even more beautiful now that her face isn’t marred with panic and distress.

“Um,” Kara says, stiffly sticking a hand out in the space between them, “hi. I’m Kara.”

Lena glances down at her hand, back up at Kara’s face. She looks at their classmates, some of them openly gaping at the sight of Lena Luthor in their classroom and immediately turning away when they catch her gaze. She looks back at Kara, and the corner of her lips tick upwards. She takes Kara’s hand with ease. “Lena.”

“I know,” Kara says, stupidly. She winces at herself, which seems to amuse Lena. “Just – you know. I think everyone knows who you are.”

“I suppose,” Lena says. “Unfortunately, my brother’s reputation precedes me.”

Kara grimaces, but she doesn’t have much to say about that. She nervously shifts from foot to foot, setting her hand on the back of the chair in front of her. “... can I sit with you?”

“Why here? This hall is quite big,” Lena says, motioning to the many empty seats; not even half of them are filled. “You can sit anywhere you want.”

Kara shrugs, feeling a bit bashful. “You look lonely,” she says. “And I’m curious about you.”

This, for some reason, seems to shock Lena. Her eyes grow just the tiniest bit wide, a bit of pink dusting her cheeks. Kara feels a bit bad for apparently embarrassing her, but Lena only chuckles.

“By all means,” she smiles, patting the seat directly beside her, “sit here.”

So Kara does.

Lena, Kara learns, already has two degrees from MIT despite only being twenty. She got her second one when she was nineteen.

Kara, in comparison, is twenty and has a total of zero degrees.

She moved to National City because she has a new job at Luthor Corp. She’s attending NCU because she heard good things about their biochemistry program and she loves to learn new things.

Kara is immediately enthralled by Lena. She’s a literal genius, for one, and she is so deeply kind. At risk of sounding rude, Kara has never really had the highest opinion of the Luthors; not only are they billionaires, but Lex Luthor is well-known for being something of a playboy with a history of shady business practices.

But Lena is nothing like her brother. She’s funny, smart, generous. They go on walks together, and Lena always laughs and pets the dogs with her. When they go to a cafe, Lena smiles and makes silly faces at a crying child until they laugh. When they pass a homeless man on the corner of the street, Lena buys him a hot meal and gives him some cash.

She donates anonymously to multiple charities. She uses her fame to promote organizations that support the LGBTQ+ community, for women’s shelters, for homeless shelters and food banks. 

Lena Luthor is an absolute angel of a human being, and for some reason, she doesn’t seem to see that. She is always so hard on herself, so self-deprecating. So Kara takes it upon herself to show Lena the truth: that she is a wonderful human being.

Their friendship forms faster than Kara thought possible. Within the span of just a few days, Kara finds herself texting Lena all the time, thinking about her more often than not. Even while she’s patrolling the city, she finds her mind wandering to Lena and what she might be doing.

There’s something about Lena that leaves Kara always wanting more. There’s something that keeps drawing her closer, like a magnet.

Alex teases her for it.

“I’ve just never had a best friend before,” Kara defends herself, because it’s unfortunately true. She was always the weird kid at school when they were kids, and despite her bubbly personality she’s never really hit it off with any of her university classmates except for Winn. Alex has always been the closest thing, but they’re sisters – it doesn’t count.

“I’m happy for you,” Alex says, kind and oh-so genuine. Then: “But you definitely don’t talk about her the way normal people talk about their best friends.”

Kara has been Spider-Woman for just over two years when the Green Goblin officially introduces himself to National City.

It happens when Lena is giving a speech about her new position as COO at Luthor Corp. Kara is in the crowd, happy to support her best friend, when a chill runs over her entire body and that ringing in her ears starts up. She’s running out of sight and tearing her clothes off to reveal her costume in seconds.

She grabs Lena and swings them away seconds before an explosion rocks the area. She only has a brief moment to check over Lena to make sure she’s unharmed before she hears a loud cackle behind her. Spinning on her heels, Kara finds the Green Goblin ominously hovering in the sky.

“Oh,” Kara breathes out. “This isn’t good.”

“Spider-Woman!” the Green Goblin growls out, his voice distorted by his mask. “You just keep getting in my way, don’t you?”

Kara blinks, because she only remembers seeing him once before. “Do I?”

The man laughs like it’s funny. “You certainly do. But it’s no bother; I’ll deal with that now.” He grabs the sash of bombs on his chest and flings them out into the crowd. “Go on, little spider. Try and save everyone. Let’s see how fast you really are.”

Kara is moving before her brain can even process it. The ticking of the bombs ring loudly in her ear and her senses are going haywire, head pounding and spine tingling.

The crowd screams and shouts as they try to run away, but the area is so jam-packed that they can’t move very far.

She grabs one bomb and throws it up into the air with all her might. It explodes in the sky, small debris of metal raining down but not harming anyone. She shoots her webs at another, stifling it so much that they contain the explosion. She manages to catch one of the bombs with her webs, swinging it back towards the man. He easily dodges it, laughing all the while.

There is one bomb she doesn’t manage to prevent from going off. It rolls towards the statue standing tall in the middle of the square and sends it collapsing upon going off. The statue topples over.

It’s almost as if time slows down. Kara moves faster than she ever has before as the large statue veers towards the ground, towards the crowd. She stands under where it’s supposed to land and braces herself. Eight-hundred pounds of pure metal crash down onto her, muscles trembling under the weight. It’s unbelievably heavy, and as she pushes back she can’t stop a shout from scraping out of her throat.

She looks over her shoulder as the crowd scrambles to get out of range. They run into each other, almost knocking one another to the ground. Her arms ache, spots dancing in front of her eyes, and she groans.

Across the square, Lena watches her with wide eyes. She looks scared. Kara’s heart aches, and she wants nothing more than to comfort her. This – surely this was another attempt on her life, right? There is somebody out there desperately trying to kill Lena, and Kara has no idea who it could be.

A chill runs down her spine, the hair on her arms sticking up, and Kara shifts the statue to one hand as she blindly shoots out a web. The man on the hoverboard is holding one last bomb, his fingers hovering over the lynchpin. Her web sticks to the bomb and she tugs it, pulling it out of his grasp and catching it in her free hand.

Her arm holding up the statue is trembling under the weight. She turns her attention back to the crowd, seeing that they’ve now cleared out the area behind her, and so she releases the statue and dives out of the way as it crashes to the ground. By the time she scrambles to her feet, the man is long gone.

Approximately three hours later, CatCo releases an article calling him The Green Goblin on account of his mask. It’s stupid, Kara thinks. It’s entirely what he deserves.

Fourth year of university is perhaps the most stressful thing Kara has ever dealt with, Green Goblin and other various Spider-Woman enemies she’s encountered included. The workload is so heavy Kara barely has time to patrol the city. She ends up pulling all-nighters so she can finish her homework and then swing around the city for a few hours, leaving her absolutely exhausted and living off of coffee and disgusting-tasting energy drinks.

Alex moves into Kelly’s apartment, leaving Kara on her lonesome. She doesn’t mind; the rent isn’t bad and her internship along with Eliza’s generous allowance allows her to keep herself fed. It’s the loneliness that gets to her above all, even though Alex - and occasionally Kelly - visit at least once a week.

Lena is her light in the darkness. She helps Kara study and invites Kara over for potstickers and movie nights when she gets too stressed out. 

“The last year is always the most difficult,” Lena says all too knowingly, and Kara remembers that Lena has done this twice before.

“You’re insane,” Kara says, so incredibly fond. “I’m never going back to school after I graduate.”

Lena laughs, light and bright, and Kara tucks the sound away deep in her heart.

Kara meets Lex Luthor for the very first time and thinks he’s an asshole. The same goes for Lillian.

Lena was invited to a family dinner hosted by her mother and was freaking out about it, so Kara offered to accompany her.

Walking home from the Luthor mansion, Kara understands why Lena didn’t want to go.

“Your mom is such a jerk!” Kara exclaims for about the tenth time that night. “How can she talk to you that way? She treats Lex like he’s perfect, but you’re way smarter than he is. And he didn’t even do anything to defend you! What kind of brother is he? The both of them are just so — ugh!”

Lena seems more amused than anything, a soft smile on her face. “I’m sorry you had to put up with that. I’m afraid I’ve grown used to their antics.

Kara’s mouth contorts into a disgruntled frown. “You shouldn’t be. You’re too good for them.”

Lena’s steps falter, so Kara slows to a stop. She spins on her heel to look at Lena, and her breath is stolen away at the look on Lena’s face: wistful, disbelieving, soft. They’re only twenty-two, yet she still looks impossibly young.

Under the pale glow of the streetlights, she looks beautiful. Kara doesn’t think anyone has ever looked prettier.

“You flatter me, Kara,” Lena says, a somber smile on her face, “but I think you’re the only person who believes that.”

“It’s the truth,” Kara sincerely says. She takes a step closer, grabs Lena’s hands that are hanging loose at her sides. “You’re a great person, Lena. Like, the best person I’ve ever met. You’re so deeply kind, and all you want to do is help. Your mom and brother spent that entire dinner belittling you and your achievements, and at the end of the night you just smiled and thanked them for the meal. I wanted to bite their heads off.

“You’re mature, and kind, and your brain is so - so beautiful.” She squeezes Lena’s hands, releases one to wipe a tear that’s escaped Lena’s eye. “You’re way too good for them, Lena. You’re an amazing person. And I’ll remind you of that as often as I can.”

Lena’s throat bobs. She squeezes Kara’s hand back before letting go, releasing a small laugh as she wipes away her tears. “Thank you, Kara,” she says. “That really means a lot.”

“Any time,” Kara promises. She leans in, presses a kiss to Lena’s cheek, and prays to whoever’s listening that her blush isn’t too obvious.

Kara stops a group of men from robbing a bunch of ATMs, and she receives a black eye and a broken arm in the process. It’s the first time she’s ever had such a severe injury from her double-life, and Alex rapidly switches between chastising her and fretting over her. It would be funny if Kara didn’t have to wear a sling and postpone her duties as Spider-Woman for the next few weeks.

When she shows up to one of her and Lena’s weekly café meetups ten minutes late, Lena’s eyes widen and she jumps to her feet.

“Oh my god, Kara, are you alright?” she asks, big eyes full of concern.

“I’m fine,” Kara easily replies, and then realises she hasn’t come up with an excuse regarding how she got her injuries. “I fell.”

“You - you fell?” Lena repeats, appropriately baffled. “From what?”

Kara blinks. “Bike.”

Lena’s eyebrows furrow. “I thought you didn’t know how to ride a bike.”

“I don’t,” Kara shrugs, laughs a bit awkwardly. “That’s why I fell.”

“Oh dear,” Lena murmurs with a frown. She places a hand on Kara’s shoulder and squeezes lightly. “Well, if you need help with anything just let me know.”

Lena proceeds to pull Kara’s chair out for her like a gentleman, fetches their orders from the front counter. She helps Kara stand when they decide to leave despite the fact that her legs are perfectly fine, and she keeps a warm hand on Kara’s hip as they walk out.

Perhaps, Kara thinks, this injury isn’t too bad.

Her final year as a student passes. Kara graduates from NCU, and Lena greets her with a smile, a hug, and a sincere congratulations when the ceremony is finished.

Throughout the year, she also stops the Green Goblin from destroying the city and all of mankind a dozen times. She’s saved Lena from assassination attempts three times, got the daylights beaten out of her far too many times, helped Alex propose to Kelly, and got hired at CatCo as a junior reporter.

National City is as busy as ever, but crime rates continue to be at an all-time low aside from whatever Green Goblin is doing. She still swings around the city to patrol, but now that she has no classes and more free time, she finds herself doing something with Lena more often than not.

She messages Lena when she wakes up. Most days she goes to Lena’s office for lunch and they spend the hour chatting. When Kara gets off work she goes back to Lena’s office to either keep her company until she’s finished or to drag her away when works too long without taking a break.

It hits her hard, one day, that her entire life has slowly started to revolve entirely around Lena Luthor. It hits her strangely harder that she doesn’t mind even the tiniest bit. Lena becomes her person, and Kara loves that.

This routine that she falls into is fun, enjoyable. All of the issues she runs into as Spider-Woman are made worth it when she gets to go see Lena, when she gets to see her smile and laugh.

The Green Goblin captures Lena and dangles her over the very top of the Luthor Corp building by her throat.

Kara only notices when the TVs in CatCo switch to footage from helicopters with the headline ‘GREEN GOBLIN ATTACKS LENA LUTHOR’. She’s out of the office in seconds, swinging across the city with her heart in her throat.

She arrives in minutes, landing on the roof behind the Goblin with a loud thud. The Green Goblin doesn’t release Lena; he just glances over his shoulder and laughs.

“Spider-Woman,” he greets. “It’s about time you showed up.”

“Put her down,” Kara orders, her voice coming out oddly shaky. “She has nothing to do with this.”

The Green Goblin laughs, loud and harsh. “She has everything to do with this. You’re just too naive to understand that.”

“This is between you and me,” Kara says. “Just tell me what you want from me.”

The Green Goblin growls. His hand tightens around Lena’s throat, and Kara only notices because Lena lets out a horrifying choking sound. “I want you to stay out of my way.”

Kara shakes her head. “I can’t do that.”

“You think so highly of yourself,” Green Goblin snarls, “but you are nothing. Just a pathetic little bug.”

“Just put her down,” Kara says, raising her hands in a show of having no means to harm. She hopes he doesn’t see how badly they’re shaking.

“You want me to put her down?” Green Goblin asks. He chuckles. “Fine.”

His hand loosens, and Lena falls.

Kara dives off the roof after her, her heartbeat reverberating throughout her entire body. Lena is silent as she falls but her eyes are wide, shocked and terrified. Kara pulls her arms in close to herself, straightens her body out so she becomes more aerodynamic, so she falls faster.

She catches up to Lena’s sprawling body in a matter of seconds, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her tight. The ground approaches at a rapid pace and Lena squeezes her eyes shut, buries her face into Kara’s shoulder.

Kara throws out her spare arm and shoots a web. It catches onto the side of Luthor Corp and the following arc they swing into is a bit rough, tugging harshly on her shoulder. Lena squeals a bit at the swoop in her stomach that Kara has long gotten used to.

She spares a glance over her shoulder as she swings the two of them to safety and catches a glimpse of the Green Goblin speeding away. For the first time, Kara feels real, genuine hatred towards him. She holds Lena tighter and swings them all the way to the roof of Lena’s apartment.

Lena’s legs are shaky as she sets them on the ground, seemingly hesitant to fully let go of Kara. She’s trembling, scared; this is perhaps the closest she’s come to death so far despite the multiple attempts on her life. Kara sets a heavy hand on her shoulder in hopes that it will comfort her.

“Are you okay?”

“Sure,” Lena replies, a tad bitterly. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Kara grimaces behind her mask, hand flinching away. “I’m sorry. That was stupid.”

Lena sighs, shakes her head. “No. No, I’m sorry. I just — I’m frightened. My issue is with him. I shouldn’t be lashing out at you.”

“No, no, it’s okay,” Kara quickly assures her. “It was a stupid thing to ask.” She hesitates, eyes Lena’s still-shaking form. “What… What did he want from you?”

“He wanted to know your identity,” Lena says. “When I told him I didn’t know, he didn’t believe me.”

“Why would he think you know?” Kara asks. Her heart thumps in her chest, the claws of anxiety still lingering.

“He seems to believe that because you have a history of saving me, we must know each other personally.”

It’s not a crazy assumption to make, and it’s not entirely untrue, but the fact that Lena was targeted because of it makes Kara feel queasy.

“I’m so sorry,” she says, and her voice comes out a tad choked. “I didn’t mean to put you in danger.”

And Lena smiles, offers comfort despite the fact that she is the one who almost died. “It isn’t your fault,” she says. “The Green Goblin is a madman. You don’t control his actions.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Lena says. “You saved my life.”

When Kara visits Lena later that night, she pulls Lena into a tight hug and just holds her there for a good while. Lena, kind and beautiful and understanding, hugs Kara back and doesn’t mention the tears she must surely feel dripping onto her.

Kara wants to tell Lena about her identity as Spider-Woman — she really, truly does. But she can’t. It’s for Lena’s safety. Someone has already tried to hurt Lena in an attempt to fish Spider-Woman’s identity from her; they believe that she must know considering  Kara’s saved her every time her life has been in danger. 

And besides, Kara enjoys the normalcy that her time with Lena brings. When she’s with Lena, she doesn’t feel like some freak vigilante. She feels like she's just Kara Danvers. And Lena likes just Kara Danvers, so why would Kara want to spill her secrets out? It might change how Lena views her entirely.

It’s selfish. In the end, Kara is selfish. She keeps her secret close to her chest, despite the fact that she and Lena tell each other everything.

Kara is greedy and selfish and cowardly for this, she knows, but she’s only human.

The Green Goblin seems to tire of Spider-Woman foiling his multiple attempts at killing Lena, so he takes the fight directly to her. He flies around the city on his hoverboard screaming her name, and by the time Kara hears him and slips out of her apartment, he’s standing atop Luthor Corp once more and pacing.

Luthor Corp is the tallest building in National City. Kara is not scared of heights - it’s quite impossible for her to be considering what she does every day - but she can’t deny that standing atop the tower and peering down at the city lights below doesn’t cause her heart to skip a beat. She didn’t have the chance to notice just how high up she was last time she was here.

“Spider-Woman,” the Green Goblin snarls as soon as her feet hit the ground, “I bore of our games. It’s about time I take you out of the picture.”

“Games?” Kara repeats. “You think these are games? You’re trying to kill people.”

The Green Goblin dismissively waves a hand. “Semantics.”

“I mean, not really—”

The Green Goblin pulls a knife out of his suit and throws it directly at her head. She dodges out of the way, only to have to narrowly avoid yet another. 

“The knives are new,” she acknowledges.

“Shut up.”

He pulls out a third knife, but Kara shoots a web at his hand and yanks it out of his grip before he can throw it. She shoots another web over the eyes of his helmet, and as he fumbles to tear the webs away she runs forwards and delivers a solid kick to his chest. He stumbles backwards, growling under his breath, and blindly lashes out. He catches Kara on her cheek with the back of his hand and she recoils.

He successfully manages to tug the webs off of his mask in the short time it takes her to recover, and he throws a heavy punch that she just barely backs away from. He reaches for one of the bombs strapped on his chest, and Kara immediately knows she cannot let any of those go off.

Kara quickly closes the space between them and grabs his wrist with all her strength. She pries it away from the sash on his chest and makes a desperate grab for it. He stomps hard on her foot and she grunts, throwing her head forward and bashing it against his. It’s a poor idea in hindsight considering that he is wearing a helmet and she only has a mask, but it seems to stun him well enough.

She tugs on the sash and the fabric snaps, coming off into her hands. The Green Goblin reaches out to grab it, smacking her hard in the temple and efficiently loosening her grab. Her vision goes black for a moment, her ears ringing loudly. 

He backs away with the sash in hands, removing one bomb and cackling all the while. He tugs the pin out and it begins to tick down, and he tosses it over the edge of the building.

Kara sighs. She’s getting tired of desperately diving off of tall buildings. She kicks him in the stomach, sending him stumbling back against the wall beside the door, and she shoots a web that sticks his hand in place before jumping after the bomb.

She catches it with her webs and as she swings back upwards, she uses her momentum to throw it high in the air and away from the civilians standing far below.

Landing back on the roof, the Goblin has just barely freed himself from the wall. Before he can react, Kara grabs the sash of bombs with her webs and tosses them aside. She shoots two webs on either side of his body and jumps, pulling herself towards him and throwing all of her weight into a punch aimed at his face. Beneath her strength, his mask snaps in two. The Green Goblin fumbles to catch the mask, to cover his face, but it’s pointless now; he can’t run. He can’t hide.

And when the Green Goblin finally raises his head, Kara’s heart stops.

Kara doesn’t like Lex Luthor. She hasn’t since she met Lena and began to learn about the way he tormented her growing up, the way he continues to belittle her even now despite her success. As far as she is concerned, Lex Luthor was a cold-hearted jerk with little room for love in his heart.

Kara doesn’t like Lex Luthor at all, and her opinion of him has been quite poor for a long time now, but she never thought — she could never even begin to think that Lex Luthor was the Green Goblin.

But Lex Luthor stares up at her now, his eyes burning and his face contorted with unadulterated hatred, and the truth is undeniable.

He tried to kill Lena. He grabbed Lena by her throat and dangled her from the top of Luthor Corp’s building until Spider-Woman saved her. He did that to his own sister.

Just the mere thought of hurting Alex makes Kara’s stomach turn; she can’t imagine how Lex could do that.

“You,” she breathes out. “You tried to kill Lena.”

“She was going to take everything from me,” Lex growls out. “I couldn’t let her. All she’s ever done is steal from me. She’s nothing more than a thief.”

“What?” Kara asks, her voice confused and strangely high-pitched. “You did all of this because - because she’s smarter than you?”

Lex sneers. “She is not smarter than me. She’s just a child leeching off of my wealth and success. She thinks she can steal the company from me — I can’t let that happen. She doesn’t deserve the power that I’ve worked to gain.”

“Are you — are you serious?” Kara asks, absolutely bewildered. “This is all about you being jealous of your sister?”

“I am not jealous,” Lex snaps, “and it is far more than that. Not that you could ever understand. Your naivety is embarrassing, and it will be your downfall.”

His hand twitches. Kara webs it to the wall once more, before doing the same with his legs and his feet. He tugs against the restraints, glares at her with the heat of a thousand suns.

“Lena Luthor is going to ruin my company,” Lex says. “She is going to ruin my life. She already has! She is a pathetic excuse for a human being, and I am embarrassed to call her my sister. She never understood the risks we have to take for success; she parallels your stupid naivety in that way. All she ever has done and all she ever will do is get in my way.”

Kara shoots a web over his mouth so he’ll stop talking. Then, just for good measure, she kicks him in the temple and knocks him out.

She swings away just as the door to the roof bursts open, a group of cops rushing towards Lex’s unconscious body.

Lex Luthor’s identity as the Green Goblin and his following arrest is all anyone talks about for weeks following. The Man of Tomorrow, the most powerful man on Earth, moonlights as a villain who has killed innocent civilians and is valiantly trying to kill Spider-Woman. People begin to speculate on his madness, on if it’s something shared with the rest of the family. Fingers begin to point at Lena, begin to accuse her of being just as mad as he was. It makes Kara feel sick.

It’s all anyone wants to talk to Lena about, too. It grates on her nerves; Kara can tell. That, added on top of the stress of Lena’s new position as CEO of Luthor Corp, has Lena driving herself into a wall trying to keep herself together. So Kara tries her best to distract Lena, invites her out to cafés and over for move nights. She shows up at Lena’s office unannounced with takeout in hand to force her mind off the matter.

“Kara Danvers,” Lena says every time, “you are my hero.”

And Kara blushes, laughs and waves it away, and she ignores how it means more than some of the thanks she gets when she’s Spider-Woman.

Without the Green Goblin causing havoc, National City is quite calm in the following months. Kara falls back into her old duties of being just a friendly neighborhood Spider-Woman: she helps kids find their parents and helps people carry their groceries to their cars. She returns stolen bikes and handbags and stops a man from robbing a family-owned bakery; the owners are so grateful they offer to give her free pastries every time she stops by. 

Kara falls into a regular rhythm. She works at CatCo and loves her job as a reporter. She spends her days off patrolling the city or spending time with Lena. There are no crazy flying rich men tormenting the city, and Kara’s life falls into a peace she has been yearning for.

Even Alex, a chronic worrywart, has relaxed now that the Green Goblin is out of the picture. There seems to be a weight off her shoulders, and though Kara feels bad for putting that concern there in the first place, she’s glad to see Alex looking so much lighter.

Her and Kelly are finally planning for their wedding, and they’re happy to let Kara take part in some of the plans.

“You’re my best woman, after all,” Alex winks.

“Will Lena be invited?” Kara asks, because it’s the thing she’s most concerned about.

“Of course she is,” Kelly smiles, kind and warm.

“I don’t know,” Alex teases, “she might be too much of a distraction for you. What if you forget to do your big speech because you’re too busy making hearteyes at her?”

Kara flusters. “What?” she asks, far too high-pitched to be casual. “I don’t — you’re making things up. You sound crazy right now, Alex. You’re talking nonsense.”

Alex snorts, shares an all too knowing look with Kelly. “Sure.”

For the first time in a long while, things are completely stress-free. Kara has never been happier.

Kara is going to tell Lena, she decides. Lex has been locked away for three months now and National City has been the calmest it’s ever been. Lena has adjusted well to Lex’s absence and her new job as the CEO of Luthor Corp, which she has already been working on renaming. Their friendship is as strong as ever, and Kara simply can’t take keeping it a secret anymore. There has never been a better time to tell her.

It isn’t too difficult to find a time to tell her; the two of them are almost always with each other. But Kara decides it’s probably best to do it when Lena is in her own home just in case things go south and Lena wants her to leave, though Kara is entirely positive that they won’t.

So one Saturday afternoon, Kara messages Lena asking if she can come over for lunch.

You know you don’t need permission, is Lena’s response. You’re welcome to come over any time.

And Kara smiles and her heart flutters, and she rushes over to Lena’s house with some Chinese takeout in hand.

The wonderful thing about spending time with Lena is that silence is not an issue. Kara usually has a chronic need to fill any and all silence, but with Lena she finds a deep comfort in the lack of speech. They can talk, or they can just exist, and Kara will feel comfortable no matter what.

So the two of them eat their food in a content sort of silence, the only noise the quiet hum of the television playing old reruns of The Bachelor, a show that Lena absolutely despises but watches anyway because she knows Kara loves how bad it is.

As they eat, as they merely just exist, Kara reaches out for the confidence that has been building up for the past few weeks – past few years. She finds that she doesn’t have to do much to reach it; the confidence is just sitting there, ready for Kara to siphon, because this is Lena.

Kara doesn’t need much confidence to talk to Lena. It’s the most natural thing she’s ever done.

So Kara sits up straight, sets her now-empty container on the table, and clears her throat.

“Lena, I have something I want to tell you,” Kara says, manifesting that strong voice she uses when she’s Spider-Woman. “It’s… it’s really important.”

Lena’s eyes snap up to Kara’s, her lips soundlessly parting in surprise. There’s something almost hopeful in her eyes as she nods, as she mirrors Kara’s posture and sets her own food container down. “Anything, Kara,” she says, her lips pulling into a pretty little smile.

Kara nods back, offers a smile that feels a bit too shaky despite the confidence that she’s feeling. “I just — I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time,” she confesses, “but the time never felt right. But now, everything is so good, and… and now I feel like I can tell you without feeling guilty about it.”

“Take your time,” Lena softly says.

“Okay,” Kara takes in a deep breath, lets it out slowly. “Okay. So. Here’s the thing. I. I’m actually – I have been, the entire time we’ve known each other – I’m Sp–”

Lena’s phone rings, and she grimaces. Kara’s eyes dart to the phone vibrating on the table, the name ‘LILLIAN’ blinking up at her. Her voice dies in her throat. Her gaze shifts to Lena, the sudden exhaustion and thinly veiled panic behind her eyes.

“… Do you need to take that?” Kara hesitantly asks, and Lena sighs forlornly.

“I suppose I should,” she frowns. She picks up her phone cautiously, like Lillian might reach out of her and bite her, but she offers Kara an apologetic smile. “I’ll be just a moment, and then we can continue this conversation?”

Kara’s heart does that fluttery thing in her chest and she smiles back. “I’ll be waiting!”

Lena lifts the phone to her ear and exits the room, offering Kara one last look that leaves her breathless, and Kara contently waits on the couch. She doesn’t use her enhanced hearing to listen in on the conversation, instead choosing to tune out the words and focus on the wordless hum of Lena’s voice as she speaks to her mother.

The conversation is surprisingly quick. When she hears Lena’s footsteps approaching she automatically smiles, but it drops when she sees the distant look on Lena’s face. She immediately jumps to her feet, heart in her throat.

“Is everything okay?”

Lena blinks, her eyes finding Kara on a delay. “I… I’m sorry, Kara,” she breathes out. “I’m afraid we have to cut this conversation short.”

Kara’s eyebrows pull together, worry churning in her gut. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Lena assures her, but her voice sounds so far away. “I’ll explain later, I promise.” She frowns, blinks, seems to come back to herself a bit. She reaches out to take Kara’s hands, squeezes them comfortingly as if Kara is the one in distress. “I truly am sorry, but I have to go. I’ll call you tonight, alright? We can reschedule this conversation for later.”

“Uh,” Kara numbly nods, “yeah. Yeah, of course.” She swallows, all of the confidence that she had built up slowly fading away. “Do you need me to drive you anywhere?”

Lena smiles, raises a hand to Kara’s cheek and strokes it softly. Kara’s heart skips a beat. “You’re sweet,” she smiles, “but no. Lillian is coming to pick me up.” Kara must make a face, because Lena laughs. “Trust me, I wouldn’t get in a confined space with her unless I thought it was important. But I’ll be alright.”

And Kara believes her; she trusts Lena so intrinsically, so deep down to her bones. “Okay,” she says. “I’ll talk to you later?”

“Of course,” Lena nods. Kara leaves, sparing one last glance at Lena, only to find her staring back with an unidentifiable look on her face.

Lex is sick, Lena informs her later that night. Dying, she says. He was bailed out of prison with Lillian Luthor’s money so that he would have the comfort of dying at home.

Kara doesn’t know how to feel. She is not a fan of Lex Luthor for obvious reasons, but she would never wish death upon him. But her feelings fall to the side when it comes to Lena, who has a far more complicated relationship with him.

She cries one night. Kara can count the amount of times she’s seen Lena cry on one hand. Her relationship with Lex is strained, has been for a long time, and she admits that she does not love him anymore. But once upon a time she did, and once upon a time he was the closest thing to a friend that she had.

To lose him now is confirmation that she will never get to rekindle that relationship again, even if she knew it was near impossible. Lex dying is losing him all over again, and Lena is mourning the relationship she never got to have.

Kara hugs her, holds her tight, and they fall asleep cuddled against each other in Lena’s bed. The next morning, Lena hugs Kara for a long moment before she leaves for work, whispering a quiet ‘thank you’, and she leaves.

For the next week, all Kara can think about is Lex — and, by extension, Lena. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose Alex; she doesn’t even want to think about it.

After everything Lex has done as the Green Goblin, him dying like this seems unfitting. It seems almost cruel. Or, perhaps, not cruel enough.

It’s a sick twist of irony.

Her mind is only taken off of it when one night, roughly one week after his release, a bomb goes off in an abandoned parking lot by the docks. She had been just leaving work when she heard it in the distance, so she changed into her suit and followed the smoke all the way to the building.

She doesn’t know what she was expecting: some dumb teens setting off fireworks. Arsonists, maybe. She wasn’t expecting to see Lex Luthor in his Green Goblin regalia sans the mask, seemingly waiting for her. His face is pale, almost white. There are dark bags under his eyes.

“Spider-Woman,” he greets, his voice lacking its usual lustre. “I knew you would come.”

“Lex,” Kara murmurs. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m sure you’ve heard the news,” Lex says, a sardonic smile on his face. He throws his arms out to the sides with a dramatic flair that lacks energy. “I’m dying. The great Lex Luthor, the most powerful man alive, is dying. In just a matter of days, I’ll be gone.”

Slowly, Kara nods. “I’ve heard,” she says. “You… shouldn’t you be at home? Resting, spending time with your family?”

Lex laughs, surprisingly loud. “Family?” he repeats. “You think I want to spend my last moments with my family? Have you forgotten about our last fight, about everything I told you? I don’t want to spend time with my family. No, I’d much rather spend my last few days making the world hurt the same way I do.”

He loosens a bomb from the strap on his chest and tosses it up and down, bloodless lips pulling into a grin.

“Ready? Catch.”

He throws the bomb at her. She catches it with her bomb and swings it to the other side of the building. The good thing about this setting for their fight is that it’s abandoned; the only people who can get hurt are her and Lex.

She moves close, tries to land a blow on him, but he sees it coming. He blocks her punches and kicks her hard in the ribs. Not enough to break, but certainly enough to bruise. She stumbles back just as he pulls out one of his knives, swiping wildly with it. She manages to avoid his slashes, grasping his wrist and twisting it until she disarms him. He doesn’t seem too bothered; he uses their proximity to shove her backwards before pulling out another bomb, eyes wild.

There’s a noticeable difference between this fight and their last one. The last one was difficult, of course, but this one is much worse – Lex is fighting with everything he has. He’s fighting like a man who has nothing left to lose, because he doesn’t.

A bomb explodes directly in front of Kara and it sends her flying. Her back slams into the concrete wall, forcing the oxygen out of her lungs. Her ears are left ringing, flames catching on her mask. She desperately pats them with her hands, successfully putting them out but leaving it singed, directly inhaling smoke with every breath she takes in. In the distance, she can hear sirens beginning to approach.

That sixth sense of her blares and she jumps to her feet, contorting her body to dodge another bomb. She doesn’t bother trying to get rid of it, rather deciding to get close. Fighting Lex up close and personal is the best decision when it comes to his bombs; he can’t hurt her without hurting himself.

She dances through the air as she dodges his projectile knives. He’s moving fast and unpredictably. Kara’s senses barely give her enough time to react. One of the knives manage to nick her shoulder, easily slicing through her suit and leaving blood trickling down her skin.

When she manages to close the space between them, she dodges under another one of his wild slashes of a knife and sweeps his legs out from underneath him. He falls hard to the ground, and Kara kicks the knife out of his hand.

“How many of those do you have?” she grumbles under her breath, because he immediately moves to grab another one. She webs his hand to his chest before he can pull it out, throwing her head back and sighing. “Any other tricks up your sleeve?”

Lex grins, and Kara immediately regrets asking. There’s a quiet click followed by a beep, and Kara looks down at his other hand. He holds a small metal square in his hand with a button in the middle. Before Kara can ask what it’s for, a weight comes crashing into her side and sends her across the building.

She lands heavily on her left shoulder and continues to roll for a good few feet. There’s something wrong with her shoulder, she immediately notices, but there’s not much she can do about it when Lex is sending his hoverboard flying towards her once again.

She jumps over it, twisting in the air. She shoots a web at it before attaching it to the ground. The hoverboard pulls against it but can’t break free. That familiar pulsing in the back of her head acts back up, and just as Kara turns back to face Lex she finds another bomb flying towards her.

This bomb isn’t like the others; instead of exploding into fire, it sends tiny pieces of metal shooting out. Kara’s skin stings as the metal pierces through her suit and into her skin. It aches something fierce, but Kara can’t allow herself to linger on it. She charges towards Lex once more, delivering a harsh punch to his stupidly smug face that has blood pouring from his nose.

His left hand is still stuck to his chest, but he doesn’t seem too bothered by it. He still has full access to his bombs, which Kara is quickly realising he isn’t concerned about setting off too close to himself. He doesn’t have anything to lose, after all.

He tosses a particularly small bomb into the air, and instead of exploding into fire or metal it irradiates a high-frequency noise that immediately sends Kara’s head reeling. She winces, slams her hands over her ears, but she can still hear it.

It’s just another moment of weakness that Lex takes advantage of. There’s a sharp blow to the side of her head that sends her to her knees and has one of her lenses cracking. There’s that familiar faint tick of one of his bombs, and her senses all start acting up at once.

Kara removes her hands from her ears and winces as the noise gets infinitely louder. She shoots one web at the device emitting that ear-splitting sound and another at Lex, pulling them closer to herself and directly in range of the bomb.

When it explodes, the sound dies out. Kara’s body is thrown once more, but so is Lex’s. Kara coughs as smoke fills her lungs, winces as her entire body aches. Somewhere in the parking garage, Lex is coughing too.

The smoke clears, and Kara finds Lex curled up on the ground just a few feet away. She climbs to her unsteady feet and stumbles over to him. He continues to cough and hack, choking on the smoke, so Kara grabs under his arms and drags him towards the wall. She leans him against it, sitting up straight so it’s easier to breathe, and her knees give out. The sirens are louder now; the police are close. She has to leave soon.

Lex Luthor is by far the most annoying person she has ever had to deal with. After tonight, she thinks, she is going to take a break from her duties as Spider-Woman for a good week. Maybe even two.

She looks over herself, internally tries to pinpoint what hurts most, what the most pressing problems are. Her lens that had earlier cracked has now fallen out completely. Her suit is torn and charred, leaving her body more exposed than usual. Blood weeps down from various little cuts and nicks. Her shoulder hurts worst of all. It’s dislocated, she thinks. She’ll have to deal with it when she gets back home.

She directs her gaze back to Lex, only to find him staring at her. “It’s you,” Lex says, and for a moment he looks surprised. Then his face changes, contorts with anger and hatred, and he scowls. “Of course it’s you. Lena’s little girlfriend.”

Kara blinks. “What?”

“You’ve been poisoning her mind,” Lex rasps. “You turned my baby sister against me.”

Again, Kara repeats: “What?”

“You’ve been her all along,” Lex murmurs. “That’s why Spider-Woman was always protecting Lena. You’re that girl she’s been obsessed with.”

“I’m not dating Lena,” Kara says, because her brain is foggy and she’s quite probably concussed, and that seems like the best thing to say at the moment.

Lex doesn’t seem to hear her. He laughs to himself, quiet at first but then building. “Oh, this is too good. It all makes sense now. My baby sister has Spider-Woman wrapped around her finger. No wonder I could never kill her; you’re too busy following her around like a pathetic little lapdog.”

Kara grunts as she climbs back to her feet. She can’t be bothered to argue with him. Not when she sees him like this, sick and so obviously dying. “You – Lex. You’re sick. You’re dying. Go home. Be with your mother.”

“No way,” Lex growls. “This is what I wanted. You’re exactly where I wanted you to be.”

Kara’s eyebrows furrow. “What?”

“The world may not know your name,” Lex Luthor says, grinning up at her with bloody teeth, “but they will never forgive you.”

He lifts his free hand, that device that controls his hoverboard, and all of Kara’s senses start screaming at her. To move, to stop him, to do something.

Before Kara can even breathe, Lex’s hoverboard is impaling itself in his stomach, tearing through him and crashing into the wall. Blood immediately begins seeping out of the wound. All Kara can do is stand there and stare.

“Checkmate,” Lex coughs out, blood dripping down his chin. “I… win….”

He laughs at whatever he sees on her face, choking on the thick blood in his mouth. He falls into a coughing fit, body jolting and contorting, and despite it all he still laughs. 

Kara’s body feels numb. Cold. Her lungs are tight, constricting, her head spinning. Her limbs feel staticky, pins and needles under her skin. Sirens ring as they rapidly approach, blue and red flashing over Lex’s gradually stilling body. 

She almost trips over her own feet as she stumbles backwards. Her knees are weak, barely able to support her weight.

“Spider-Woman!” a voice distantly shouts. “Put your hands up!”

Kara can’t breathe. Her vision blurs. Lex is silent now. His eyes are open and unblinking. Blood continues to gush out of his torso.

She has to leave. She has to get out of here. She has to go.

She shoots out a web and swings away, leaving Lex Luthor’s lifeless corpse behind.

“As the city mourns the loss of such a powerful man, we can only wonder: is Spider-Woman truly a hero?”

Alex turns the TV off, casting the room into darkness. Kara’s stomach is in knots. She feels sick, but she’s already thrown up everything she’s eaten. Her throat still burns.

Everyone is talking about it. No matter where Kara goes, she can’t avoid it. Every news publication in the city is painting her to be the bad guy. 

SPIDER-WOMAN KILLS LEX LUTHOR.

SPIDER-WOMAN: FROM HERO TO HEATHEN.

NATIONAL CITY’S HERO FALLS FROM GRACE.

Kara doesn’t know what to do. Five days have passed since Lex died, and Kara hasn’t left her apartment once. She knows she should; she had a job, has a life, had a duty to protect the city even if they hate her now.

She needs to check in on Lena. She needs to make sure that Lena is okay. Kara knows very well that she was no longer close with Lex, but she was once upon a time. She must still be mourning. And with that, there are still people theorising about her, claiming that she must be as untrustworthy and cruel as Lex Luthor was. The world is stuck in a strange limbo, mourning Lex Luthor as a poor, forsaken genius and painting him and his family out to be monsters.

But all Kara can do is curl up on her couch and watch as her life falls apart.

“It’s going to be okay, Kara,” Alex assures her for the nth time. “I’ve been working with J’onn to try and find a way to fix this. We’ll figure this out.”

And Kara wants to believe her; she’d love if this was the kind of situation where her big sister could swoop in and save the day, but it’s not. The truth is that Lex framed her for his murder, and there is no evidence to prove otherwise. There is nothing Kara can say or do to defend herself.

Spider-Woman is no longer the hero of National City. Despite everything she has done to protect them, she is still more powerful than the average human; she is still something to be feared. And now National City has a reason to fear her, however incorrect it is.

It’s on the fifth day of wallowing in her misery that Lena calls her. It’s Lena who makes the first move despite the fact that her brother died. Kara feels all the more pathetic for it.

Her voice is quiet when Kara answers, tinny through the speakers. “Kara,” she greets. “I… I haven’t heard from you in a few days.”

“I know,” Kara says. Her voice is raspy. Whether it’s from the crying, the stomach acid or the disuse, she doesn’t know. “I’m sorry.”

Lena is silent. “... Are you alright?”

Kara laughs, confused and fond and bitter. “Me? Are you alright? You’re the one who – who…”

“It’s…” Lena pauses for a long moment. “Complicated.”

“I know,” Kara hums, and her heart aches for her friend, for what she’s lost, for what she never had the chance of obtaining. “I really am sorry.”

“It isn’t your fault,” Lena says, and Kara wants to laugh at how untrue that is. Kara may not have killed Lex, but she was there when he died. She stood idly by when he killed himself. She could have done something – anything to stop him, but she didn’t. Then, quieter than Kara has ever heard her, Lena asks, “Why didn’t you call?”

And Kara can’t explain it. She couldn’t possibly put it into words. Just a week ago she was ready to tell Lena her identity. Just a week ago she felt on top of the world. Now, Kara knows she absolutely can’t. She knows that telling Lena who she truly is will ruin everything they have, everything they could possibly be.

“Because I’m an idiot,” Kara settles on. The truth, but not the incriminating kind.

“That’s not true,” Lena denies. “But I would’ve liked to hear from you.”

“I would’ve liked to call,” Kara says. She finds herself climbing to her feet, stumbling through her dark apartment to her bedroom. “I’m sorry. I should’ve.”

There’s a quiet rustling on the other side, as if Lena is shaking her head side to side. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“I have so many things,” Kara softly retorts. If only Lena knew.

Her suit is sitting on her bed. It’s still bloody and torn from her fight with Lex, the mask nothing more than a lens barely held in place with thin scraps of fabric. It reeks of iron and smoke and sweat.

She grabs the webshooters off of the suit, digs a facemask out from one of her desk drawers. She pulls it on and makes her way to the window, attaching the webshooters to her wrists.

“Lena,” she says, “I’ll be right back.”

Lena makes a confused hum, but she says, “Okay. Talk soon.”

Kara tucks her phone into the pocket of her sweatpants and climbs out the window. It’s risky to swing through the city like this, so exposed, but she can’t bring herself to put the suit back on right now. She can’t bear to wear it out when the city hates everything that it stands for.

She arrives at Lena’s building in approximately two and a half minutes. By the time she’s knocking on her door, it’s barely been four minutes since she hung up the phone. When Lena opens the door, her red eyes are watery.

Kara doesn’t wait. She pulls Lena into a hug, holds her as tight as she can without bruising. Lena holds her back just as tight.

“I love you, Lena,” Kara whispers. It’s not the first time she says it, but it’s the first time she realises just how severely she means it.

“I love you too,” Lena returns.

They fall into silence.

“I trusted her, you know,” Lena confesses late one night. Kara doesn’t ask for clarification, but Lena offers it anyway. “Spider-Woman.”

And Kara swallows thickly past the lump in her throat. “You don’t anymore?”

Lena takes a moment to reply. “I don’t know,” she admits. “She has saved my life so many times. I could never even begin to thank her for all that she’s done for me. She was so kind. But… she killed Lex. She murdered him.”

Kara’s heart constricts in her chest. Suddenly it’s as if she can’t breathe.

“Lex was kind once, too,” Lena says, a bitterness seeping into her voice. She shakes her head, presses her head against Kara’s shoulder. “I don’t know what to think anymore.”

Two weeks after Lex’s death, Kara decides to show her face as Spider-Woman again. It’s – difficult. People are scared of her now. When before people used to greet her in the streets, now people avoid her. They eye her warily, shout insults at her as she swings by. There are a few people who show her kindness, who offer her warmth, but they are a vast minority.

The police are making a better effort to catch her now. As soon as she’s spotted in public, sirens begin to approach. Kara slips away from them every time, but it doesn’t stop her heart from hammering in her chest.

Kara doesn’t know what to do. All of that confidence she felt just a mere few weeks ago is long gone. In the matter of a short few days, her entire life has been flipped upside down. She can’t escape what’s become of her alternate persona anywhere.

Even at CatCo, they’re running constant articles about Spider-Woman’s legacy. Cat Grant, who once introduced Spider-Woman to the world as an underdog hero, is begrudgingly saying that maybe Spider-Woman is not the hero she thought she was once upon a time. She still has some faith, Kara can tell, but it’s wavering.

Kara decides, in a moment of crazed desperation, to visit Lena as Spider-Woman.

Lena doesn’t trust Spider-Woman anymore, but that doesn’t mean Kara can’t try to explain herself to her. That doesn’t mean Kara has to give up on maintaining the relationship that they’ve formed over these past years.

It’s not hard to find Lena; she’s been holed away in her office at L-Corp more often than not. While the two of them have been talking every day since that call, it hasn’t been as much as before. Understandably so, considering how busy Lena must be, but Kara still misses her fiercely. She figures that maybe, maybe if she tries to explain herself, explain what happened in that final fight, maybe Lena will feel better. Maybe Lena will talk to her as Kara more. Maybe everything will be okay again.

She lands on Lena’s office balcony almost silently. It’s the middle of the day – Kara figured it would be less intimidating if she visited while it was still light out rather than during the night. She can see Lena hunched over her desk through the floor-to-ceiling windows, and she lightly raps her knuckles against the glass.

Inside, Lena jolts. She spins, and when her eyes land on Kara they grow wide. Her skin pales. She is so obviously afraid, and it makes Kara feel sick. She raises her hands in a show of surrender, but it doesn’t seem to do much to soothe Lena’s worries.

Lena stands, slow and hesitant, and makes her way to the balcony door. She slides it open, and then she just stares.

“Hi,” Kara breathes out.

“Spider-Woman,” Lena says, short and sharp, eyes full of distrust. 

Lena’s hands are trembling. There is real fear in her eyes, and it breaks Kara’s heart. For all the good Kara has done as Spider-Woman, she is still viewed as a murderer. Lena still believes that Spider-Woman killed Lex Luthor in cold blood. All of the trust that Kara has established between them is long gone.

“Do you believe what the rest of them say? That I’m just like him?” Lena asks, trying to put on a brave face. “Are you here to take me away? To finish me off?”

“No,” Kara quickly replies, heart in her throat. “I’m not going to hurt you. I - I would never hurt you.”

Lena eyes her, obviously wary. “You killed Lex.”

“I didn’t!” Kara immediately refuses. “I — I would never kill anyone. That’s not who I am. He just – Lex wanted to frame me. He hated me for - for getting in the way. For preventing him from hurting you.”

Lena’s lips press together into a thin line. She shakes her head minutely. “How am I supposed to believe you? I don’t know you. You’ve saved me many times, yes, but I don’t know who you are behind that mask.”

And Kara’s heart drops. She’s right. How is Lena supposed to trust her when she doesn’t know who Spider-Woman truly is? She trusts Kara, yes, but she doesn’t know that Kara and Spider-Woman are the same person.

So Kara swallows past the lump in her throat, musters up that courage that she didn’t even need last time they had this conversation, and she breathes out a light sigh.

“You do know me, Lena,” Kara says, her voice sounding far too desperate. “You know me better than anyone. You know I would never do that. Especially not when I know how much it would hurt you.”

And something on Lena’s face shifts. Her eyes, previously so frightened and confused, sharpen. She takes a step forward, her eyebrows pulling into a sharp line. Kara remains in place, watching.

Lena closes the distance between them in a few steps. She stares for a moment, her lips pressing together, and she reaches up. Carefully, cautiously, her fingers curl around the bottom of Kara’s mask. As she lifts it, inch by painstaking inch, Kara lets her. It slides past her lips, past her nose, and Lena’s hands slow to a stop before she can raise it past her eyes.

She lets out a shaky breath, her hands falling away as if she can’t bear to lift it anymore. Kara takes on the task for her.

She lifts it up past her eyes, over her head until her hair falls loosely around her shoulders. “It’s just me,” Kara says, trying to sound strong and sturdy but sounding more like a scared child in the end. She has finally revealed her identity, and she’s sure there’s a horrible look on her face.

And Lena stares. Long and hard, she just stares. Her face cycles through various unrecognizable emotions, before her eyes are hardening and her mouth is pulling into a thin line.

“Kara,” she says. It comes out flat, devoid of any emotion at all. Kara can already sense something in their relationship irreversibly shifting. 

“Lena,” Kara returns, trying to offer a smile. It feels weak. “I - I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. For not telling you, for Lex, for everything.”

Lena remains silent, stoic.

“I tried to tell you. That day, when your mom called, I – I was about to tell you. Promise,” Kara insists, her desperation growing the longer Lena doesn’t speak. “But everything fell apart so quickly. And then Lex – I didn’t – I mean, I couldn’t–” Kara squeezes her eyes shut. She has so much to say, and she doesn’t know how to say it. “I’m so sorry, Lena.”

Still, she doesn’t speak. Her gaze is sharp, cutting. Kara thinks the silence hurts more than any words could. Her heart pounds in her chest, in her throat, her entire body trembling with each thump. This, somehow, is infinitely scarier than anything she’s dealt with as Spider-Woman.

Finally, Lena speaks. Just one word.

“Leave.”

Kara’s teeth clack shut. She stares at Lena, who refuses to look back. She simply turns away and walks back to her desk, gingerly sitting down and focusing on her computer. She begins to type, all of her attention shifted away from Kara, and it feels like Kara’s life has just ended.

She doesn’t want to leave. She wants to keep talking. She wants to explain herself to Lena, wants to tell her everything, but – but Lena told her to leave, and Kara loves Lena, respects her, so she’ll do whatever she says.

Quietly, silently, Kara exits Lena’s office. She spares one last look at Lena, but her back is still turned. She dives off of the balcony and swings away.

Three weeks after Kara revealed herself to Lena, three weeks of no response to all of Kara’s texts and calls, Cat Grant walks into her office and tosses a newspaper from the Daily Planet on her desk.

“You two are friends, yes?” she asks, finger tapping on the photo of Lena Luthor that is front and center on the newspaper. “I want an interview regarding her move ASAP.”

Cat leaves without waiting for a response. It’s understandable – Kara isn’t capable of forming any coherent thoughts for another few minutes, her brain stalling at the words ‘LENA LUTHOR MOVING L-CORP HEADQUARTERS TO METROPOLIS’.

She’s leaving.

Lena is leaving. And she didn’t say anything to Kara about it.

The photo of Lena isn’t new, but Kara hasn’t seen her up close in so long that she can’t help but stare. She’s been keeping an eye on Lena from afar, swinging past her office every day to ensure that she’s still alive and breathing. Her eyes have been red and ringed with exhaustion every time, her skin pale. This photo is from months ago, when she was happier. Kara misses her.

She has to do something. Lena is leaving National City, and it may not be obvious to anyone else, but Kara knows that it’s because of her. Lena is throwing away everything she’s achieved in National City because Kara messed everything up. She can’t let her do that.

She grabs the newspaper, scrunching it up in her hands, and runs out of the building as fast as she can. She dips into a nearby alleyway and sheds her clothes, pulls on her mask, and is swinging across the city faster than she ever has before.

Her feet are heavy as she lands on the balcony of Lena’s office, a loud thud sounding out. She sees Lena’s head perk up at the noise, but she doesn’t turn around. She doesn’t acknowledge Kara. It hurts.

Kara doesn’t bother to knock, doesn’t bother to wait for permission; she slides Lena’s balcony door open and steps into the office, marching over to Lena’s desk and pressing the crumpled newspaper down.

“You’re leaving?” she asks, reaching up to tug her mask off. She discards it on the ground, uncaring.

“I am,” Lena replies. She doesn’t look up, continuing to stare at her computer screen as she types. “I figured it was time for a change.”

“You can’t,” Kara says. Her voice sounds whiny and pathetic, like a child. She feels like one. “You’ve made a life for yourself here. You can’t just leave.”

Lena finally looks up, catches Kara’s eyes with a sharp gaze. “I can’t?” she repeats. “Says who?”

Kara’s lips quiver, so she presses them together. “Don’t throw away everything you have just because of me,” she begs. “Don’t leave just because I messed up. Please. Let me - let me fix it. Let me fix us. Just – let me explain.”

Lena’s following laugh is sharp and bitter. “Explain what?”

“That I didn’t kill Lex,” Kara says, practically begging for her to believe her. “I promise, Lena, I didn’t. He framed me. He wanted to hurt me. I didn’t kill him.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Kara,”  Lena snaps, her voice harsh and sharp and cutting like knives, “I don’t care about Lex!” She slams her hands on the desk as she stands up. “He’s dead. Good riddance! He was a monster. My problem is that you used me. You lied to me!”

Kara blinks, stunned. “I — what?”

“You never told me about your identity. About Lex’s” Lena repeats, voice tight with emotion. “Is that why you were so friendly when we first met? You just wanted to get close to me so you could have more information on Lex? Or were you keeping an eye on me because you thought I would end up like him?”

“What?” Kara asks, sounding so pathetically small. “No! No, Lena, I didn’t know—”

“Was anything about our friendship real?” Lena asks, and it’s only then that Kara sees the tears in her eyes.

“Of course it was! All of it!” Kara insists. “Everything we had was real. It means everything to me. You mean everything to me.”

Lena glares. Her eyes are glassy. Kara wants to swallow glass. “Then why did you lie to me?”

“I didn’t find out Lex was the Green Goblin until everyone else did,” Kara says, her words coming out so fast they’re tripping over each other. 

“Why did you wait so long to tell me about you?” Lena asks, setting her jaw that way she does when she’s trying not to cry. “We’ve known each other for years, Kara. You were my best friend. My only friend. I thought – I thought we had something… special.”

The use of past tense has tears falling down Kara’s cheeks. Lena already views their relationship as something of the past. Lena already thinks that what they’ve had is over.

“I’m a coward,” Kara says. It’s sad and pitiful and embarrassing, but it’s true; Kara is a coward. She always has been. “I want to say it was only to protect you, but - it wasn’t. I wanted to keep it to myself. I liked the life that I was living with you, and I thought – I thought if you knew, everything would change. I thought you wouldn’t like me the same way. And I didn’t want to lose what we have, because I’m selfish.”

Lena shakes her head. “I told you everything about me. I told you about my mother. About my childhood. About Lex and Lillian and how much they changed after Lionel died. I was never anything but honest with you. But you spent our entire relationship lying to me.”

“Everything I told you about myself was the truth,” Kara insists. She moves, steps around the desk so she's beside Lena. She drops down to her knees, before looking down at Lena feels wrong, because they deserve to be at a more even eyeline. “I didn’t tell you my identity, but I swear I’ve never lied to you. Not once. And not telling you was a horrible thing to do, but if you just give me the chance, I promise I will do everything in my power to make it up to you.”

Lena stares down at her. “I loved you.”

“I love you still,” Kara says, the most honest she’s ever been. She reaches out, takes Lena’s hands in her own. Lena doesn’t pull away, and that must count for something. “I know I ruined everything, Lena, but please don’t leave just because of me. You’ll never have to see me again if you don’t want to. I’ll retire the mask, I’ll never be Spider-Woman again. Just – please, don’t leave.”

Lena’s eyes slip shut. Softly, so quiet Kara almost doesn’t hear it, Lena confesses, “I don’t want that.” When she blinks her eyes open, she looks exhausted. Miserable. “You’re a hero, Kara. You clearly love what you do. I would never make you give that up.”

“You aren’t making me,” Kara retorts, scooting closer. “I’m offering. If it will make you feel better, if it will get you to stay, I’ll do anything.

And Lena smiles; it’s small and sad and bitter, but it’s a smile. “It won’t.”

Kara wants to cry. She wants to throw things. She knows she is the one who messed up, the only person she’s upset at is herself, but it still feels unfair. “Then what can I do?” she desperately asks. “How can I get you to stay?”

Slowly, almost apologetically, Lena pulls her hands away from Kara’s. She mourns the loss immediately, clenches her jaw to keep herself from crying or whimpering or doing something equally embarrassing and dramatic – but then Lena lifts a hand, gently cupping Kara’s cheek, and it’s like she can breathe again.

“Give me time,” she requests, impossibly soft.

Kara nods, perhaps a bit too enthusiastically. “I can do that.”

Lena smiles once more, and it’s lighter this time. “Good.”

Despite herself, despite the situation, Kara finds herself leaning into Lena’s touch. She’s missed it; she’s yearned for it. Now she has it again, and she knows it will be fleeting so she makes the most of it while she can.

“I don’t forgive you. Not yet,” Lena murmurs. Kara aches, but she understands. “I don’t know if I ever will. But – you are still my favourite person, Kara Danvers. You are still my hero. I still love you.”

“I love you too,” Kara returns, almost automatically. Lena’s thumb strokes small circles on Kara’s cheek, a wistful look in her eyes, and then she sighs.

“I really should get back to work,” she says. “And I do want time. Space.”

“Whatever you want,” Kara acquiesces, climbing to her feet. Lena follows her upwards, only pulling her hand away when they’re both standing straight. Kara walks towards the balcony door, and to her surprise, Lena follows her out, albeit after making a slight detour.

As they stand on the balcony, the sun beating down on them and the cool breeze blowing past, Kara thinks Lena looks as beautiful as ever. Despite the sadness still in her eyes, despite the way her lips waver and her scleras are tinged red, she’s breathtaking.

Lena steps forwards, holding up Kara’s previously discarded mask. “Don’t forget.”

“Oh,” Kara murmurs. She reaches out to grab it, but Lena moves faster. Carefully, she places it on Kara’s head, tugs it down so it’s secure and resting just above her forehead. Then, she leans in and presses a quick kiss to the corner of Kara’s mouth. Kara feels her body lock up, feels her breath catch in her throat, and all she can do is stare wide-eyed as Lena pulls back.

“I’ll call,” she assures, answering an unspoken question. “Sooner than you think.”

Kara nods, short. Then, because she can’t help herself, she says, “I really do love you.”

And Lena smiles, small and weak and knowing. “Be safe, Spider-Woman.”

“I will,” Kara promises. She tugs her mask down all the way and jumps off the balcony, not sparing a look back. She knows Lena is watching.

“I didn’t get the interview,” Kara apologetically tells Cat the next day. “Lena isn’t moving away anymore. Whatever made her want to leave must’ve fixed itself.”

“Oh, I don’t care about that anymore,” Cat dismissively says with a wave of her hand. “We have a much bigger situation to print about.”

Kara’s eyebrows furrow. “We do?”

Cat Grant smirks and motions to the layout on her desk. There, in the very center of the page, is a surprisingly clear photo of the balcony on the top floor of L-Corp. It shows someone who is very obviously Lena Luthor leaning in and kissing a blonde with their back turned to the camera, though Spider-Woman’s suit is easily recognizable.

The top reads ‘LENA LUTHOR AND SPIDER-WOMAN – PARTNERS IN CRIME?’.

“Oh,” Kara breathlessly says. “Shoot.”