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“This is getting old, Spock,” McCoy mumbled. “Me. And you. Stranded on an hostile planet. First Altamid, then Solitar II, then Markus V and now here?”
“You forgot Linorus, Doctor.”
“Of course, how could I forget?” McCoy threw his arm in the air - and immediately regretted the fast motion. With a quiet wince he pressed it back around his torso, trying to dull the pain in his chest. “I had to drag your unconscious ass through a hot jungle the entire time.”
“I have to correct you. I was merely 67% of the time without conscience.”
McCoy huffed. “Do you want a cookie now for being right?”
Spock raised his eyebrow in confusion. “I don’t understand this human custom for treating someone who gave a right answer. Besides I only stated a fact, nothing more.” Another huff came from McCoy. “Furthermore we have lost all our equipment and there is no possibility for you to give me a cookie, even if I desired one.”
“Don’t remind me of that.” McCoy knew that it was his fault that they lost their tricorders and most importantly his medkit. He just didn’t pay enough attention on the slippy rocks. Spock had tried to catch him, thrown himself to the ground to be able to reach over the edge and broke his tricorder. Leonard lost his medkit in the fall as well. He had no idea where it went. After Spock had climbed down the rocky slope to get to him, he tried to find it, with no success. When the hostile aliens caught up on them, they both decided, running would be better than keep searching.
Although everything hurt like hell, McCoy still thought that it had been the right decision. He had no idea how bad his injuries really were but he could take a good guess. At least he knew that Spock could get away like this. If they had kept searching for the missing medkit, the chances for Spock getting injured as well or even worse were pretty high.
Damn, McCoy didn’t volunteer to go with Spock every time to watch him get hurt. Not that it worked so far. Since Altamid Spock had developed a natural gravitation to danger. The first time McCoy actually asked Jim if he could accompany Spock. Even if it was several months after Altamid, McCoy had difficulties to forget how close Spock had been to dying. It haunted him still. With every mission that went wrong, McCoy didn’t even have to ask Jim anymore. He pushed them immediately together as soon as the team split up. Probably he was just as worried as McCoy was. Funnily on the occasions Jim decided to come along with them, nothing ever happened. It seemed like a curse. As soon as McCoy and Spock were alone they were hunted by hostile aliens, or trapped in a hopeless situation, or attacked by dangerous alien animals, or just everything together. And to spice this all up, Spock got himself hurt every single time. Just not today. Today he seemed to be lucky, although they weren’t back on the Enterprise yet. Maybe McCoy shouldn’t be too hopeful.
“How is your condition, Doctor?”
Of course McCoy had noticed the side glances that Spock threw over to him every few minutes. Spock was not one who worried about his friends. Concern was an emotion and Spock didn’t use those. Yet McCoy could see the differences in Spock. His posture was even more stiff than usual, he seemed tense. He was careful with touching McCoy. If he wouldn’t know better, McCoy would say Spock was actually worried about him. This thought spread a warm feeling inside of him.
“I’m fine,” he mumbled, didn’t want to worry Spock even more. Emotions were hard for the Vulcan and if McCoy was right and he actually started to be concerned, McCoy shouldn’t make it worse. “Just a bump to the head. I could use a painkiller but I’ll live.”
“What about your foot?”
McCoy was limping since the fall. At first the pain had been dull but it had gotten worse with every step. “Just strained probably.” Make this broken.
“Do you need assistance?” Spock stopped out of a sudden, forcing McCoy to stop as well. McCoy had been loud and very clear when they started to flee from the aliens that he didn’t need any help. On the one hand he didn’t want to appear as weak in front of Spock, on the other hand he didn’t want to slow him down.
McCoy just shook his head at Spock’s question. “I’ll be fine, thanks.”
He wanted to go on but Spock just stepped right in front of him. “I can see clearly that you are in pain, Doctor. Relieving your foot might possibly improve your condition.”
“Who is the doctor here?” McCoy asked with a hint of provocation in his voice. He had no idea why but McCoy had always the urge to fight Spock. Something about Spock hit a nerve - every single damn time.
“You are, I’m aware of that. I don’t try to undermine your authority. But it is only logical. If I would carry you, we would be much faster than we are now. It would improve our chances of survival.”
“What?” McCoy shouted. “You want to carry me? No way, Spock. I can walk. I’m fine.”
“As you are aware, I’m a Vulcan. We are far stronger than humans. I would barely notice the extra weight.”
“No way I said. I’m not climbing on your back, Spock. I have some dignity left.” And with that McCoy pushed Spock aside and kept going. No way he would let Spock carry him. He would never hear the end of it. Probably he would hear more teasing from Jim than from Spock, but still. As long as McCoy’s ankle didn’t kill him he would walk on his own.
It didn’t take long for Spock to catch up. “At least let me support you, Doctor.”
McCoy grumbled something inaudible before he reached for Spock’s shoulder and gave him permission to lay his arm around his back.
After some moments of silence McCoy cleared his throat. “The communicator is still not working?” They had interference because of some magnetic waves or something. Damn, McCoy was no technician. The only thing he knew was that these things never worked when they really really needed them.
“They won’t work on this planet,” Spock said stoically but McCoy noticed how Spock took it from his belt and opened it to check it anyway. “That’s why we had the appointment when and where to beam back.”
“Which we missed,” McCoy commented. “Which is entirely my-”
“Not your fault,” Spock interrupted him, his voice soft, so untypical Spock that it hit McCoy completely unexpected. “It was an accident. One misstep while we were running from the hostile inhabitants of this planet.”
McCoy huffed. “Didn’t see you stumble and fall down a cliff.”
Out of a sudden Spock stopped, looked at him intensely. “There are often situations when I don’t understand human emotions, Doctor. Now is such a time. Why are you acting this way? It was clearly an accident. It could have happened to anyone. There is no logical reason to linger over the question who is to blame.”
“Because I’m the damn CMO of this ship, Spock,” McCoy yelled. “I shouldn’t be here, limping through these woods.” Holding Spock back, and probably cause his death in the end. They couldn’t outrun those aliens forever. The pain in McCoy’s ankle got worse and worse. He could barely walk anymore, let alone run. If those aliens found them they had no choice.
Spock just nodded once. “I see. You are worried that there were other casualties that need your medical expertise.”
More or less. More that there were other casualties to follow. McCoy stayed quiet though, didn’t have the energy to argue with Spock, especially not about this. If he said that he was worried about him, he would only get a lecture about how concern is illogical and it made no sense. Either they would make it or not. So there was no reason for worrying about something that might never happen. Hell, Spock was probably right. Worrying didn’t bring them anything in this situation. They needed to get going, to give Jim time to come back for them.
“Let’s get going. I’m not very keen of bumping in those aliens again with their pointy sticks and poisoned arrows.” He made a step and literally forced Spock to follow him this way. The first step was the worst, McCoy thought, as mindblinding pain shot through his foot. The second would be better. His hope was fruitless though. It seemed even worse. After every step McCoy thought he would collapse out of pain any second. Wouldn’t be completely surprising.
After exactly 24 steps - yes, McCoy had counted - he was done. “Shit,” he swore, leaned himself a little more into Spock. “I need a break.” McCoy knew that a brake wouldn’t do him any good. His foot wouldn’t get better miraculously. But he needed at least to take off his boot. His foot was probably swelling - a lot - and the boot would hold it back, could cause even more harm this way. “Help me sit down.”
Spock complied without any comments which McCoy was surely grateful for. He didn’t need a smug smile and a cocky “I told you so.”
Instead he asked when McCoy was seated on the ground, leaned against a big trunk of a tree, “How can I help?”
“My boot. You have to take it off.” McCoy leaned his head back, closed his eyes and prepared for the pain. Spock was as careful as possible but this didn’t make any difference. Only the slightest movement hurt like hell. McCoy could only clench his teeth and hope that it would be over as soon as possible. The throbbing pain didn’t stop but he knew that Spock was finished when there was a quiet gasp from his friend.
“Doctor-”
“I know,” McCoy interrupted him immediately. He hadn’t looked at it but McCoy knew how it had to look like. He saw things like that enough throughout his career.
“This is not strained, Doctor.”
McCoy gave him a weak smile. “I know. Probably a little worse than I thought in the beginning.”
Spock raised his eyebrow. It was pretty clear that he knew that McCoy was bullshitting right now. “Are there any other injuries you’ve kept from me? How is your head?”
“My head is fine,” McCoy answered and this wasn’t even a lie. He felt a little dizzy, had a light headache. It was nothing serious. Probably just a mild concussion. “I may have some cracked ribs,” he admitted now. At least he thought they weren’t broken. “My breathing is regular though, so there is no damage to my lungs.” Yet, he thought. As soon as McCoy moved in a wrong way that could change really quickly. “It only hurt a little. Really, Spock, my foot is the worst thing at the moment.”
“You shouldn’t have put pressure on it the entire time.” It sounded like an accusation, but not the typical Spock accusation full of superior attitude. There was a hint of worry in his tone and for a moment McCoy thought that he misread the severity of his head injury because he surely had to hallucinate this. Spock was never worried.
“What will Jim do to get to us?” McCoy asked out of a sudden, trying to avoid these feelings of Spock, and definitely trying to avoid this argument McCoy couldn’t win because Spock was right. McCoy shouldn’t have walked at all with this foot.
“The scanners will be of not much use either, just like the communicators. My guess is that the captain will send a team with a shuttle down to the planet to look for us.”
“So how long do we have to wait?”
Spock hesitated a moment with his answer, probably counting in his head. “Presumably it will take the away team two hours to get back to the surface of this planet. How long they need to find us is impossible to guess. Logically they will start their search where we were beamed down. This was our meeting spot.”
So it was simple. “We have to go there.”
“It’s open terrain, Doctor. We can’t hide anywhere. We are an easy target.”
“How the hell shall they find us then?”
“I prefer that they will find us alive. I suggest that we will stay here for a while. Since your fall there was no sign of the alien species. Maybe they have abandoned their hunt. Maybe they just wanted to chase us away from their territory.”
“Or they are still looking for us and not moving means they are coming closer. There are too many. Your phaser won’t do much.”
“We can’t use the phaser. This species is not as evolved as we are. The prime directive-”
McCoy sighed loudly which stopped Spock in his explanation. “I think to save our lives we can forget the damn prime directive for one second, don’t you think?”
“As you said, Doctor, there are too many of them. It wouldn’t save us anyway.”
McCoy sighed again, closing his eyes. The throbbing pain in his ankle was getting unbearable. It didn’t even matter anymore if he was moving it or not. He wished he had his medkit for some painkillers. Or just something to knock him out. Let Spock carry his unconscious beautiful ass around the planet this time. “So we keep going?” McCoy needed to concentrate on something other than the pain. Making plans was the only thing they could do at the moment. To keep Spock from disagreeing he already held out his hand so that Spock could help him up.
Spock grabbed it at once but hesitated to pull him onto his feet. Instead he loosened the grip. “I’m sorry,” he said for no apparent reason. He hadn’t even started to haul him up which could cause any more pain.
“For what?”
“I didn’t notice I lowered my walls.” Spock’s gaze fell to their hands, not touching anymore, but they were still close to each other. McCoy needed one second to understand what his friend was trying to say before it made click in his head. Vulcans were touch telepaths. He probably just read his mind or something. McCoy had actually not the faintest idea how this shit was working.
“So you know my deepest and darkest secrets now?”
“Of course not, Leonard. I can only sense your feelings and emotions.”
McCoy let out a short laugh. “Then it’s probably me who should apologize. This had to hurt, right?”
“I didn’t realize you were in so much pain.” Spock looked stricken, evaded to look Leonard in the eye, before adding quietly, “And there was something else.”
Of course there was something else. Even through all this horrifying pain his other emotions still showed. “Just forget it, Spock. It’s nothing. Let’s go.” He grabbed Spock’s arm, specifically avoiding any bare skin and pulled himself up with a loud groan. It was hard not to put any pressure on his hurt ankle. Tears were stinging in his eyes and McCoy tried to blink them away. He wouldn’t cry in front of Spock. Hell, he just showed him all his feelings, he wouldn’t put even more on the poor Vulcan.
“Doctor, this was really unwise,” Spock scolded him right away.
“You were taking too damn long, Spock. We need to get back to the meeting spot. I’m not staying on this planet one minute longer than necessary.”
“You want to take the risk?”
“I’m surely not dying right in the middle of these woods. This is our best shot, don’t you think?”
Spock opened his mouth as if he wanted to disagree with him but then nodded in the end. “It’s a calculated risk. I am convinced anyway that they just tried to scare us away. We were strangers, passing through their territory.”
“See? Then what are we waiting for? Help me up!” McCoy was still not thrilled about the thought to let Spock carry him but he was defeated. He couldn’t walk one more step on his broken ankle. It was bad enough already.
With some difficulties they managed to maneuver McCoy onto Spock’s back. He just hoped that he would be on the solid ground again before Jim could see this. The journey back to the meeting spot was silent. McCoy tried to think about anything other than the pain and always circled back to the question what Spock could have felt in this short moment when he touched his hand. In the end McCoy decided that the pain was more comfortable than this thought. Spock on the other hand seemed too concentrated on the path in front of him to engage in any way of conversation. Or at least that was what Leonard was hoping. The hope dissolved the minute Spock decided to say something, “About earlier, Leonard, about your feelings…”
“I said forget it. I’m in pain, I can’t think clearly.”
“I felt deep concern.”
McCoy swallowed hard. He didn’t know what to say about this. Hell, should he deny it? It wouldn’t make much sense. Spock had feltit right through this touch telepathy voodoo.
“I thought this was a normal reaction until I realized that you weren’t worried about yourself. You were worried … you areworried about me. Why, Leonard?”
“Damn it, Spock!” This was always McCoy’s first reaction when he didn’t want to talk about something. Explaining his emotions would reveal a lot more than McCoy wanted to. This was not the time.
“I am not injured this time. Actually it’s the other way around this time. You shouldn’t be worried about me.”
“I’m always worried, okay? I worry all the time. This is normal for me. I’m a doctor. I’m thinking about all the bad things that could happen to people. And you were hurt too many times lately. I can’t stop thinking about it. Since Altamid I’m keeping a close eye on you and you were lucky that I was so close all these times you get yourself injured.”
“But right now I’m not injured.”
McCoy sighed loudly. It made no sense to talk about emotions with a Vulcan. “But we are not out of danger. I’m slowing you down. I worry that I might be the reason that you could get hurt in the end after all.”
There was a moment of silence and McCoy felt his heart hammer hard against his chest. He only hoped that Spock couldn’t feel that as well. “I see,” he said finally.
“You do?”
“I had a similar thought on Altamid. And the other times I got injured. I knew you would have a better chance of survival without me. But let me say the same thing you said all these times: I’m not leaving you behind.”
A small smile played around McCoy’s mouth. “How chivalrous of you.”
Spock suddenly stopped. They had left the edges of the woods and could already see the shuttle that was landing in the distance. “As it seems we got lucky, Doctor.”
“Yeah, it was damn time we did!” McCoy shifted a little, tried to straighten up, as much as it was possible. “Thanks for carrying me back, Spock.” He moved his hand from Spock’s shoulder to his neck, touching his bare skin just for a second, so that he could feel how thankful McCoy really was.
After a moment of silence, while they were walking closer to the shuttle, Spock suddenly said, “Maybe we could discuss these feelings in more depth as soon as we are back on the Enterprise.”
“Ehm,” McCoy answered unintelligently, a bright smile forming on his lips. In the distance he saw a man with a yellow shirt exiting the shuttle. He was sure that this was Jim and the thought that he would see Spock carrying him crossed his mind. But he wasn’t bothered about this at all because McCoy was damn sure that Spock just kind of asked him out on a date in his weird Vulcan way. “I would like that, Spock.”