Chapter Text
The Pentagon was preparing for the Second American Civil War. Former MI5 Director General Dominic Hayes and his top operative, Agent Carolyn Davis, sat at a massive conference table inside the war room. They were surrounded by a room of American officials whose clinical, ruthless ambition rivaled the fallen regime of Kavita Patel. At the head of the table sat President Donald Trump. He was completely detached from the briefings as he furiously composed tweets about "Low-IQ Witches" and "Fake News Sorcery."
"Look at this," Trump mumbled to himself. "Total disaster in Russia. Very sad what happened to Putin. A great leader disappeared. I’m tweeting my condolences right now. Terrible. We are sending thoughts and prayers, but frankly, he let it get out of hand. Won't happen here."
"Mr. President, if I may," interrupted General Michael Flynn. "We cannot afford to wait. The threat is asymmetric, unconventional, and domestic. We need a declaration of total war against witchcraft, and we need it yesterday."
"I completely agree with General Flynn," Carolyn Davis spoke up loudly. She glanced coldly at her former boss, Dominic Hayes. "We watched the United Kingdom fall because we hesitated. We must carry on Prime Minister Patel's legacy. If we do not strike now, the United States will collapse into the same magical anarchy."
CIA Director Maxwell Shaw spread a highly classified document across the table. "It’s worse than we thought. The CIA has lost all assets inside MACUSA. Their counter-intelligence obliviators are completely compromising our human sources. Furthermore, all our attempts to assassinate President Picquery have failed. They saw the snipers coming before the triggers were even pulled."
Sitting in the shadows near the corner of the room was Cassandra Barebone. As the fanatical leader of the revived Second Salemers, she had taken advantage of the Revelation to gain staggering backchannel influence within the Trump administration. Her eyes glowed with triumph.
“I warned you. I warned America decades ago that witches walk among us. They have declared themselves above our laws and above God’s laws. This is a holy war as much as a national one.”
Shaw signaled his aides, and the massive monitors lining the war room flickered to life, broadcasting a chaotic montage of live feeds from across the United States. The country was fracturing in real-time. Chaotic, shaky cell phone footage showed a roaring mob of redneck MAGA supporters in Houston, Texas, cheering under a highway overpass where three suspected wizards hung from a crane. A Department of Homeland Security tactical unit was shown engaged in a brutal, flashing firefight against Native American sorcerers at the Norfolk Casino.
Salem had been entirely reduced to a smoldering, ash-filled crater. Aerial footage showed the historic town burning to the ground after a rogue faction of witches on broomsticks retaliated against local vigilantes. New Orleans historic streets were swarmed by reanimated zombies and lesser demons summoned by desperate practitioners defending the bayou. A live satellite feed displayed a shocking breach at Guantanamo Bay. Highly trained MACUSA Aurors were blowing the reinforced steel doors off the black-site cages, freeing dozens of captive wizards.
The main tactical map shifted, lighting up several glowing red crosshairs over domestic targets. The Pentagon had mapped out the entirety of magical America, including the MACUSA headquarters within the Woolworth Building. NYC. Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry at Mount Greylock, Salem Witches' Institute, MA, the Bayou Coven in the Deep Louisiana Swamps, Phoenix Academy in the Sonoran Desert, Abracratraz Prison Island outside San Francisco, and various sovereign Native American reservations.
"The parameters are clear," General Flynn said firmly, looking around the room. "We declare martial law, designate MACUSA a tier-one foreign terrorist organization, and initiate immediate airstrikes on all major enclaves."
"Are you all completely insane?!"
Dominic Hayes slammed both hands onto the table. The ghosts of London, the smoking ruins of Whitehall, the dragons over the Thames, the abduction of Patel flashed through his mind.
"Have you learned absolutely nothing from the fall of my country?!" Hayes shouted with desperate urgency. "If you wage a full-scale war against MACUSA on American soil, you aren't going to win. You are going to turn this continent into a radioactive wasteland! Millions of ordinary No-Maj civilians will die in the crossfire! They can manipulate your minds, they can curse your command chains, they can—"
"Oh, look at this. Look at the British guy," Trump interrupted, cutting Hayes off with a dismissive wave of his hand and a loud scoff.
"Dominic, let me tell you something. You’re weak. You’re a very weak person. You fled your country like a dog. You let a bunch of fairytale beings completely conquer the United Kingdom. Tremendous failure. Total disaster. You lost to Harry Potter. Think about that. Harry Potter. Terrible."
Carolyn Davis nodded. "The President is right, Dominic. Your cowardice is why London is a refugee camp."
"No witches are putting me in a cage at some wizard high school," Trump continued. "America doesn't lose. We don't do it. We won against the British Empire. We beat communism. We destroyed Islamic terrorists. We beat the dishonest Democrats and the radical left. And let me tell you, we are going to win the war against witchcraft. It's going to be quick, it's going to be beautiful, and it's going to be total."
Hayes sank slowly back into his chair and realized that the American empire was about to march proudly, blindly, and loudly into its own grave just like the United Kingdom.
“We’re going live in the Oval Office,” Trump announced. “Draft the speech. Big speech. Huge. The best speech you've ever seen. Nobody makes better speeches than I.”
Later that evening, a massive broadcast was held inside the Oval Office of the White House. Behind the Resolute Desk, President Donald Trump looked directly into the camera lens. Millions of television screens and smartphones across the globe flickered to life as the broadcast went live. It was an explosive, deeply volatile speech that would fundamentally alter the course of American history.
"My fellow Americans," Trump began. "Today, we are facing an enemy like nothing this country has ever seen before. For decades, these people, if you can even call them that, have been hiding in our basements, under our streets, using their little tricks with their wooden sticks. And last year, with the so-called 'Revelation,' the truth came out. And let me tell you, it has been a total disaster for every hard-working, freedom-loving American. A complete disaster."
He gestured aggressively with his hands like a madman.
"Look at what’s happening around the world. The United Kingdom? Gone. Destroyed. Conquered by Harry Potter and fairy tale characters. India? Absolute chaos. Russia? Putin is gone. Bolsonaro is gone. Kim Jong-un is gone. Mysteriously disappeared because they weren't tough. They weren't smart. But America is smart. America must stand its ground, and we are going to stand it very, very strongly."
"These witches, these bitches, these wizards, they are ungrateful, they are unpatriotic, and they are completely un-American," Trump shouted into the microphone. "They think they are above our laws. They think they can cast their little hexes and control our great country. It's not happening. Today, I am officially designating the so-called Magical Congress, MACUSA, as a tier-one radical terrorist organization. They are terrorists, folks. Very bad, very dangerous people."
Trump leaned directly into the camera. "And to their leader, Celestia Picquery, we are putting a massive bounty on your head. Dead or alive. You cannot hide from the United States military."
"Our country has fought a war on drugs, we’ve fought a war on terror, and now, we are going to fight the War on Witchcraft," Trump declared, pointing a finger at the screen. "And we are going to win it. I am calling on every single patriotic American to be ready. Take up arms. Defend your streets. Defend your families. We are going to make America safe again!"