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Strickler had always known this day would come.
He had known this would come when the Eternal Night threatened to cave in the Darklands.
He had known this would come when he handed the eye of Gunmar over to the Trollhunter.
He had known this would come, although he often tried to deny it, when he had discovered Jim was the Trollhunter.
A hand slid across his back, and supportively squeezed his shoulder.
“Walt, we can wait a little longer if you want.”
Strickler tore his eyes away from the orange crystal in his hands, and met the blue eyes at his side.
Barbara's gaze filled him with an instant sense of calm, even if he should not be so calm in this moment. This was a life changing choice!
So maybe she was right on the need to wait longer to make it.
“Here,” She carefully settled her other hand over the stone, and slowly lifted it from his. The way she handled it was as if she were afraid one wrong move would break it, but Strickler was pretty sure it was nearly indestructible.
With the Cradle Stone now out of his hands, Strickler finally allowed himself to take a proper breath. How many times had he attempted to start the release spell at this point?
Was this the seventh or the eighth?
And Barbara, gods bless her, always granted him more time to think it over even though she was more than prepared.
Of course she was prepared! Humans were so incredibly adaptable, learning and changing faster than any troll could ever manage. That's what made changelings so useful, they could adapt quickly and find ways to make the impossible work all while still having the strength of trolls.
And he was supposed to just give that up?!
“Walter?” Barbara questioned, the hand that he hadn't even noticed leaving his shoulder, found his fidgeting fingers and steadied them.
Human hand on human hands. A generous blessing of the Cradle Stone, apparently acting enough as a barrier of worlds to still allow him the ability to shift between forms.
And yet that blessing also felt like a curse, all the more reason for him to not want to let his familiar out of the crystal.
Strickler lifted his drooped head to find her gentle and kind eyes once more, and welcomed their calming hold.
“Barbara, I am sorry,” he began, he didn't know fully how to explain everything to her. He had tried many times before, and she did her best to understand, but there was something he just couldn't seem to convey to her about the concept of letting go of his familiar.
Her other hand lifted, and gently cupped his cheek. “Walt, it's okay,” she assured. “Do you want to go out and get some fresh air?”
He wanted to say no, he really did, but she of course knew what he needed.
Strickler lifted a hand to his face, holding her hand there for a little while longer. “If we must.”
“Getting fresh air” was their little code for getting out of a populated area. Barbara constantly busied herself, even when she was supposed to be on break. And the times she did manage a break, it was in the house that had grown too quiet.
And then of course there was the reason Barbara told Strickler to get fresh air. He was incredibly attached to his human form, that sort of thing did happen when you've lived in it for hundreds of years. Going out into the woods, away from other people, helped him get used to being in his trollish form in front of Barbara. Even if he had revealed himself to many other people during the eternal night, it still felt wrong, and he knew many of his brothers and sisters in the Janus Order felt the same.
Strickler dared to hope Nomura wasn't being bothered by the trolls she was surrounded by. He was sure Jim would help things move smoothly, the poor boy. Besides, Nomura could easily put any troll into their place, but Strickler on the other hand had to remain civil by human standards.
Barbara took a deep breath as they found themselves at their usual shadey spot within the woods, and let it back out in a heavy sigh.
With a deep breath of his own, Strickler shifted to his trollish form, opting for his cape rather than his wings given that with the current position of the sun it would be ridiculous attempting to fly.
He did not especially like being in his trollish form above ground and during the day, but as Barbara had said, he needed to get used to it, although it had been said far more kindly than that simplification.
The trees rustled with the breeze, but the density of the branches did their job of keeping significant sunlight from getting through. As the gentle wind reached him, even with his cape he still felt exposed. He knew it was all in his head to feel so exposed. He was far more protected in this form, tougher skin, quicker access to weapons, and far sharper senses, but it was the idea of being stuck like this forever that made it feel wrong. Strickler had been well prepared to give up his human form during the Eternal Night, but now he just had more time to think about it.
He turned his attention towards Barbara, who gave him a small smile. Still keeping up her mask it seemed.
The only sign of stress Barbara showed was the way her hand gripped her phone, desperately aching to receive an update from her son. It was impressive really, how well she hid her emotion, but being a doctor and the trauma she had dealt with in her life was enough to hide tells many other humans had.
Strickler slowly approached her, he appreciated every bit of help she provided, and always wanted to give her a shoulder to lean on as well.
“I am sure he is safe,” he said, and carefully stood beside her. “He has plenty of people to make sure no harm comes to him.”
Barbara looked up at him, and slowly her mask began to slip. The corners of her mouth lowered into a small frown, her arms wrapped around her torso in an act of self soothing, and her shoulders, that she had forced down, tensed with the weight they carried. Her and Jim shared so much in common, too much in common in some aspects.
“I'm sure he's fine, he's been fine so far,” she forced in a tense and speedy reply. “They’re all probably fine, just busy or something.”
Jim typically called each morning after the sun had come up, and everyone had been safely tucked away for the day. And yet now it was late afternoon and there had yet to be any contact from their group.
Nothing from Jim, Claire, Blinky, or even Nomura. What was the point in so many of them having cellular devices if they did not use them?
“I'm sure they are simply in a location without service,” he attempted to comfort. “It is not as if every cave or forest will have a cell tower nearby.”
“I know, I'm overreacting,” Barbara shook her head with embarrassment at her behavior. “It's just been a day, he's fine.”
“Barbara, you are his mother, it is completely understandable that you would be worried.” He needed her to know that she was not overreacting. Her sixteen year old son was leading what remained of a trollish city across the country, while recovering from what would have been a lethal attack on anyone else from a sorceress!
The pace of her breathing picked up, and Strickler instinctively leaned back, successfully avoiding her hands as they flung up from their tight position.
“Jim has been gone for a month, and all I have done is worry and wait for him to call!”
Strickler stepped in front of her and grabbed both her hands, and gently lowered them.
“Barbara, you are doing incredible work. You have been helping this community recover, and have been picking up far more shifts at the hospital than should be allowed.” He hated to see her so overworked, and yet all he did was complain about the loss of his human form which he hadn't even relinquished.
Her hands twisted in his, and gripped tightly around his long clawed fingers as her gaze fell to the forest floor.
Strickler frowned as he noticed the way she held her breath, fighting down a shudder in her shoulders.
He squeezed her hands, then released them. One curled finger guided her face upward, while the other hand carefully wiped her tears, taking extra care to keep his claws curled away from her.
“You are an incredible woman Barbara, and your son is a miracle worker. All is going to be well.”
With shaking hands, Barbara removed her fogging glasses. Strickler drew a cloth from a pouch on his loincloth, and in the same moment carefully took her glasses to clean them.
Once clean, Strickler wiped away her tears again, before returning her glasses to her face.
Barbara blinked as her eyes adjusted back to the corrective lenses. Her breath struggled as she attempted to hold down the turmoil of emotions.
“I can't do this, Walt!” She cried, the attempt of a dam she had made instantly crumbling with the words. Her face fell into her hands. “I can't do this.”
Strickler grasped her shoulders, keeping her steady as her legs grew weak. There had to be something he could do.
The trolls weren't traveling that quickly, surely they could catch up to Jim and the others and have a small visit. He was sure Jim needed more human interaction, sure he was half troll now, but there was still the human half that needed to be around more than Claire.
Strickler took a subtle calming breath of his own, he needed to focus on Barbara right now, not the chaos that would surely come from two sixteen year olds trekking across the country together with only trolls, a changeling, and an idiot wizard to watch over them.
“Are we crazy, Walt?” Barbara questioned, lifting her face from her hands.
The question caught him off guard, he had a feeling this wasn't about Jim.
Barbara pressed a hand over her mouth, and to his surprise she laughed. “We can't raise a kid!”
Strickler blinked in surprise. But Barbara had been so prepared, eager even, to release the first familiar from the Cradle Stone. Had he too been deceived by her mask of determination?
Who was he kidding? When Notenrique had handed over the Cradle Stone it had been nothing more than a silly joke from the little runt, but somehow he had thought Barbara would be the perfect person to watch over their familiars, and help them find their place in the world that had forgotten them.
“Shit.” Barbara's brows sank as she grew frustrated with everything piling up on her. “How could I think I could do this? I didn't even notice my son was the Trollhunter, and now he's halfway across the country, and not even human anymore! I can't raise another kid.”
“I am sorry for attempting to put this burden on you,” Strickler said slowly. “You already have enough on your plate as it is. Do not let the familiars be another thing to bring you stress. They can wait until I have orchestrated a means to integrate them back into society.”
That had been his plan anyway, he had only thought releasing his familiar first would assist in moving it along. Perhaps he could manage a single child on his own, even while trapped in his trollish form… already he knew that was a bad idea.
Barbara shook her head, ever determined. “I want to help, I really do, I-”
“Barbara, don't push this on yourself,” he tried. “The familiars are not your responsibility, they are mine.”
“And I want to support you,” She said. Her eyes locked with his, and for a moment in his heart it felt as if she had said something else entirely. But that was ridiculous, he had not heard such words uttered from her since before she had first discovered what he was.
“I want to help you with them,” she stated, her voice far more confident than he had heard it since the mask had dropped.
He couldn't help but raise his brows with curiosity and disbelief. “Might I remind you that you just said you don't want to raise a familiar?”
Her brows knit together, in an oddly adorable fit of determination. Emotions were high, and Strickler knew he should fight it down, but he couldn't help but be entertained by the endearing behavior.
“I'm stressed, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I want to help you, I want to help them.” Barbara took a deep breath, and searched his eyes. “I am going to help you raise that little familiar of yours.”
Oh gods, he was so in love with her, but that was something he could not admit for a very long time, there was too much going on.
“Stop,” she grumbled, and pushed her hand against his chest, but it did little to get him to move.
“Stop what?” He asked, keeping his face neutral even as his confusion took over at what she could be referring to.
“Your face.” She answered, a smile flickering across her still tear stained face.
His face? He had kept it entirely neutral save brow raise or two.
Barbara actually laughed, this one far more light-hearted than the previous one. “Walter, I'm trying to have a serious conversation here.”
He finally let his neutral mask drop, his utter confusion rising to the surface where it could be observed.
Barbara's cheeks flushed. “Oh.”
“Oh?!” He questioned, completely lost at what she was talking about.
“The way you've been looking at me this entire time, you weren't meaning to let those show were you?” She asked, recognizing he had meant to have a mask in place this whole time.
He swallowed, wetting his dry throat, ashamed he had to ask. “What was I doing?”
He briefly flinched back as her hand found his face, her soft thumb brushing over his cheek. “Making me feel trusted… and loved.”
Strickler’s eyes widened.
THOSE EMOTIONS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE PRIVATE!!! CENTURIES OF TRAINING AND SOMEHOW THEY HAD MADE IT TO THE SURFACE! CURSE THOSE EMOTIONS HE WAS SO INCREDIBLY UNUSED TO!
“Barbara, I didn't mean-” He did not need to burden her with his feelings.
“Walter, don't apologize,” she interrupted. “I- thank you for being here with me.” She slowly spread out the fingers of the hand that still rested on his chest, feeling his heartbeat even through his stone flesh.
He looked down at her, appreciating everything about her. He could never get over it, and now that he was aware of it, he knew what she saw. He just had no idea admiration could be observed by a human through the eyes of a changeling. But as the humans had a saying for, the eye was the window to the soul, and as much as he felt the need to hide it, his love for Barbara was written all over it.
And he thought reading souls was only for those with centuries studying magic.
Barbara shifted closer towards him, her head tilting up towards him. Sometimes she seemed more comfortable with his trollish form than he was.
Before Strickler could make a movement closer towards her to get some real fresh air, a specifically chosen ringtone blared from Barbara’s pocket.
She hastily retrieved the device, both of them knowing that ringtone only belonged to one contact in her phone.
“Hello! Jim?!” Barbara answered quickly, pressing the phone tightly to her ear, but they both knew at this proximity Strickler would be able to hear the other end of the conversation.
“Hey mom,” Jim said, sounding horribly exhausted. “I’m so sorry for not calling this morning, the caves we found turned out to be infested with gnomes. Practically everything they could carry was stolen. But they're taken care of now.”
Strickler had unfortunately dealt with gnomes plenty of times to know that the fact that Jim had been able to retrieve his phone by the end of the day was quite the accomplishment.
“So everyone is safe and accounted for then?” Barbara asked. “Are you hurt at all?”
“Mom, mom, I'm fine!” Jim laughed, clearly unaware of the stress his poor mother was under, not that either Strickler or Barbara planned to make him worry over such things. “Just annoyed, and very tired. But how are things going there?”
“Everything's going great!” The pure delight in Barbara’s voice was almost startling with the way she had been only minutes before. “The hospital is getting back to proper staffing slowly but surely, and of course half the town is still construction zones at this point. But I will definitely send you lots of update pictures with what they've managed so far.”
“You're the absolute best!” Jim replied, with similar delight to his mother, although a bit lower energy.
“Toby also came by today, he seemed a little worried you hadn't messaged at all, but I'm sure you've got that covered already.”
“Yup, Blink is already on that, and Claire is catching up with her parents.” He sounded a little bothered by the second part, but Strickler was sure he could muster up a few ideas as to why. “Oh, what about the familiars? Any updates on that?”
Barbara and Strickler looked at each other, both of them silently agreeing not to say anything about the difficulty of simply getting themselves to go through with the release spell.
“No, not yet, you know these things take time,” Barbara said, with a light hearted tone, but it held a small bit of tenseness that Strickler was sure did not carry over the phone.
“Okay, I wasn't sure, I mean it has been a month, so I just wanted to ask.” To Jim that probably seemed like a long time, teenagers always did seem to live in a different dilation of time.
“Jim, I had nine months to prepare for you, and was still far from prepared,” She stated bluntly. And Strickler had to hold back the amused sound that attempted to escape through his nose.
“SORRY! Sorry, I guess I didn't think about that,” Jim hastily attempted to amend. “Love you lots and lots! I'll call you when we get to our next stop!”
Before Barbara could get much of an “love you” back, Jim had hung up the phone. Apparently preferring to cut the conversation rather than let it continue to anything he possibly didn't want to talk about.
Strickler doubted Barbara would have pressed that particular conversation further, but of course Jim wasn't waiting around to find out.
Strickler gave a small hum as he looked down at the black screen of the phone, as Barbara looked down at it silently.
“Perhaps he is just hoping for something he deems big to take place,” he offered. “But of course recovery from the battles he faced took a long time.”
“I know, Walt,” Barbara sighed, and tucked her phone away. “Everything needs to take its time, but what if we shouldn't be waiting this long? Hell, the house has been prepared for weeks now.”
Barbara had of course jumped right into action of setting things up, but now they were here, unsure of what they were really supposed to do.
He opened his mouth to make an argument against the idea, it was a terrible idea really. But he needed to let go of his familiar sooner or later, and with how many familiars he would need to find care for after thorough communications with their bound changeling, it was better to choose sooner.
“This is a horrible idea,” he couldn't help but voice aloud. “You know that right?”
“Of course I know that,” she replied with a small snap to her voice. “But you can never be fully prepared.”
He would have to take her word for it, given she had far more experience in this department than he did.
Oh gods, he knew he was going to regret this, but he couldn't store those familiars in the Cradle Stone forever.
Here they were again, standing in the living room, almost frozen in the moment before setting his familiar free.
“Walter, are you sure it has to be yours first?” Barbara asked, watching him hesitate for the ninth time.
No more waiting, he was going to do this. For the last time in his life, Strickler transformed to his trollish form, once and for all relinquishing his human form.
“Yes, if the familiars are to be released, I must lead by example.” He knelt down, and set the crystal on the wood floor. He took up a piece of chalk, and sketched three circles around the Cradle Stone, then divided those circles into five uneven but carefully measured sections.
Barbara watched with tensed posture, and Strickler couldn't help but look at her with a bit of concern at how shallowly she was breathing.
“It will be alright,” he tried to assure both of them, then stood, and held his hands out towards the Cradle Stone.
Within his mind Strickler focused on his familiar, saying a quick goodbye to the connection they had maintained for so long. As much as he was going to miss his human form, he would also miss knowing there was always someone with him.
Strickler cleared his mind of those worries, refocusing on the task at hand. It was his familiar’s turn to have his time in the sun.
“Dimitte puerum ex hoc incunabulis calidis.” He recited, and with the words he felt the magic activate in his veins, flowing towards the Cradle Stone.
He lowered his hands slightly, and looked down at the dormant crystal. It was supposed to activate now, although from time to time a spell needed to be attempted once again. Perhaps he had pronounced one of the words incorrectly in his anxiety.
Strickler righted his stance, and took a deep breath. This little stint was not helping with his want to wait longer.
What if Barbara had a point? What if there was a different familiar he could release? Perhaps Nomura’s would be a good call, she had even said she wasn't using her human form anymore.
No- no, Strickler did not need an out from this, he needed to show the others that the time of changelings was coming to an end. The familiars they had stolen needed to be returned.
“Dimitte puerum ex hoc incunabulis calidis.”
He held his arms out, feeling the magic rise and disperse, and then nothing happened.
Strickler frowned, he was sure he had said it correctly. Had Merlin given him a phoney spell? Was he missing something?
He checked his markings on the floor, assuring nothing was smudged or miss drawn, but it was all perfectly done.
Strickler righted his stance again, and shot Barbara an apologetic glance. This was torture!
Barbara gave him a concerned look in return. Maybe the spell wasn't working because he wasn't fully willing to let his familiar go. Perhaps it would be easier to withdraw a familiar with no ties. One like Scaarbach’s, Eloise’s, or even Gladysgro’s. There were plenty of changelings who had lost their lives, their familiars now alone.
Being an example! Strickler reminded himself.
“Dimitte puerum ex hoc incunabulis calidis!” He ordered with more authority.
Nothing. Seriously?!
He was going to throttle Merlin the next time he saw him!
“Dimitte puerum ex hoc incunabulis calidis!” This time it came out more as a growl, and yet even with that the Cradle Stone remained happily unaffected on the floor.
“What is wrong with this thing?” Strickler growled, crouching down towards it. He grabbed the crystal, and turned it from one side to the other. “Why aren't you working?”
With better judgement being shoved away by his frustration, he gave the crystal an aggressive shake, as if that would do anything.
“WALT!” Barbara rushed to him, grabbing the crystal, to try to steady it. “Be careful!”
Strickler fought down the angry growl in his throat, he didn't need to be aggressive right now. There was no one present who deserved it.
Maybe Strickler needed to go over the specifics of the spell again, there had to be something he was missing. He released the crystal to Barbara's hands, but at the same exact moment Barbara had released it as well.
Barbara yelped in panic, but the crystal had not been far from the ground, and could handle such a drop.
Horror struck him when the crystal suddenly began to glow. Immediately Strickler grabbed Barbara, and pulled her back, whatever was happening he did not need her getting hurt.
His grip tightened as a golden-orange wisp rose up from the crystal, but just as quickly his grip loosened and dropped away as he felt that ever present bond to his familiar nearly completely fade away. Even without trying, he knew he no longer had access to his other form.
The wisp of light rose up towards the ceiling, then slowly arched back down, and Strickler instinctively reached his hands up to receive his familiar.
The golden-orange light expanded, and weight filled his grasp. Barbara gasped as the light dissipated and there blinking as if awaking from a nap, the original Waltolomew Strickler looked into his changeling’s eyes.
“It worked,” Barbara sighed with relief. “Walter?”
Strickler stared right back at his familiar, the last time he had seen him in person was the moment they had been bound. Now hundreds of years later, only one of them had changed.
Slowly a smile pulled at the corners of Strickler's mouth. “Hello Waltolomew.”
The little baby wiggled and stretched, taking in his release.
“You could have warned me you were this cute as a baby,” Barbara teased.
Strickler breathed a laugh, but was unable to formulate a response. He was sure there was some witty response to that, but right now most of his focus was on the little one in his hold. He was about to pull him in close, to tell him about the life he was finally going to get to live, when the Cradle Stone began to glow again.
Stickler pushed his familiar into Barbara’s hands, trusting that whatever was happening, she would be quick to take care of him.
Strickler took a cautious step towards the crystal, when he froze at the sight of another wisp of a familiar shooting up from it.
He couldn't even bring himself to audibly question the unexpected release of another child, but still he received it in his hands.
The familiar materialized, and it took Strickler a moment to recognize her.
“Zelda?” he voiced, looking over the tiny human counterpart of the magenta changeling he had known for as long as he could remember.
All at once Strickler's stomach dropped, he had thought of Nomura while attempting to cast the spell, and as a result had released her familiar as well. How many others had he thought of? How many familiars had he released?!
“Barbara,” Strickler said slowly, and turned his gaze towards. “I may have just made a horrible mistake.”
Perfectly timed with his words the Cradle Stone began to glow again.
Four, thank the gods he had stopped at four.
Apparently the Cradle Stone had needed impact to activate, and he had cast the release spell four times before activating it.
That information would have been incredibly useful, Merlin!
It was all pure chaos, they were in no way prepared for this, but they had made it work. Even with Otto’s never ending screaming.
But now, somehow, they had gotten all four of them to fall asleep.
Although they were babies, and they were not the people he had once worked with, they made him feel a little less alone in this world.
Barbara, sitting on the couch beside him, leaned to the side and rested her head on his bare shoulder, his cape quickly discarded when his daggers had been grabbed at one too many times.
He was still startled time to time from her giving him such contact while in his trollish form even if she granted it frequently, but this was his only form now, so he could only thank her for that. Slowly he leaned his head to the side, and propped it against hers.
Barbara’s hand found his, and their fingers interlaced together. Strickler allowed his eyes to drift closed.
“I'm sorry for making such a mess of this,” he whispered quietly for only her to hear. “I’ll figure something out.”
Barbara gave a tired hum. “It's okay, I still love you.”
Strickler's eyes snapped open, and he lifted his head off of hers, so he could look at her.
Barbara stared right back at him, with those big loving blue eyes. Her cheeks were slightly flushed, but she was in no way caught off guard by what she had said as he was.
Barbara searched his eyes and then a look of amusement spread across her face. “Is that really so surprising? Walter, we're raising kids together.”
Strickler felt himself blush, at least as much as he could like this, but it was enough for Barbara to see.
She breathed a small laugh. “You are well aware I am capable of raising a kid on my own, as I said before, I want to support you in this. I want to do this with you.”
Strickler slowly relaxed, taking in her words as truth. He didn't know why it took him so much effort, perhaps his struggles with vulnerability, but he leaned his head back down toward her and planted a tusked kiss on her cheek.
“I love you.” And that had been the truth for a very long time.
She grabbed his chin, keeping him close as she turned her head, gently pressed her lips to his.
It wasn't their first kiss with him like this, far from it. Getting fresh air still left plenty of room for interpretation of how they released their stress.
Barbara pulled away, and her hand slid back and combed through his coarse hair. “There you go, was that so hard?”
A smile spread across his face, and his brows lowered as he took her words as a challenge, just as she had intended.
“I love you, Barbara Lake.” He repeated with much more strength in his voice.
Barbara’s smile reflected his own. “Then come here, lover boy.”
For her, he would do anything.