Chapter Text
Deep breath in.
Deep breath out.
You walked through the doors of County General feigning confidence that you did not have, before promptly walking straight into another person. Naturally.
You had been nervous all week, an ominous churning occupying your stomach for days. Every big-eyed med student understands the first day of residency to be a momentous occasion. Your own was a shadow hanging over you, a malevolent shadow that had been whispering in your ear about your unlikeability and incompetence.
Your biggest fear is not fitting in at this new place, the ER being a new version of the high school experience.
That, and accidentally committing medical malpractice. Now that was a close second.
Anyway, you could abandon any aspirations of making friends here now. You had bumped into a man, a doctor, and dropped my bag. The contents spilled over the linoleum floor. You bent down to pick everything up, “I’m so sorry, my mother is always telling me to look where I’m going,” you picked up your lipgloss, “gosh why am I talking about my mother, I’m a doctor.” You looked across at the man who was now bent down with your inhaler in his hand.
“Carter?” you were dumbfounded.
“Jones? No way.” Carter stood up.
You met John Carter met in med school and often occupied the same rotations. You both became sort of friendly and attended a lot of the same study sessions (and parties).
“What are you doing in the ER, I thought you wanted surgery?” You two had never become good enough friends to keep in touch though.
“Wasn’t for me in the end.” He grinned.
You both began walking alongside each other.
“God I’m glad to know someone. Did you intern here?”
Carter nodded, “It’s hard to get used to, especially here. The chaos and everything can feel sort of impersonal y’know? But you just gotta figure out how to handle it.”
You looked him in the eyes and nodded seriously. You stopped in front of the information desk, messy with abandoned charts and tangled phone chords.
“So, do you know who I’m supposed to find? I talked to a Dr Greene on the phone…” You said and Carter smiled. “Yeah wait here, I’ll find Greene.”
Your first week had been fine, but it was now Sunday night and your feet ached and you dreamed of your bed and the day off that waited for you tomorrow. Chicago winters were something you loved, but had never quite gotten used to. The wind was bracing and the snow on the ground often seeped through your sneakers and three layers of socks.
Luckily, the El was only a fifteen minute walk from the hospital followed by a twenty minute ride and five minute walk. Not too bad.
You yanked on a woolly hat and wrestled with your scarf as you emerged from the ER doors. Suddenly as you were crossing the street, a jeep pulled up next to you and beeped.
“What the fuck…” you said to yourself, before you looked in the window.
“Hey Jones, you got a ride?” It was Carter.
His shirt sleeves were rolled up and his collar unbuttoned, he had lost the tie he’d been wearing the last twelve hours. As he raised his eyebrows at you, you contemplated answering with a no.
“Uh…yeah! Well, no. I mean, I’d count the El as a ride…” you blathered, worrying about coming off as pitiable, or worse, pathetic.
“Hop in, I’m not letting you walk home in this weather.” he leaned over and opened the door.
Part of you debated telling him you wouldn’t really be walking all the way home, but the normal part stepped up and sat in the leather passenger seat.
The car smelled like Carter, you noticed. It was that typical man-smell of cologne or aftershave mixed with linen and pinecones or something. It was warm and welcoming and un-hospital like. You couldn’t help but feel conscious of yourself, you suspected you smelled strongly of sweat and sanitiser. “Thanks for the ride.” You said and glanced at Carter sheepishly. He kept his eyes on the road but smiled, “Don’t mention it.”
A few moments passed, a CD was in the player.
“I like this song.” you said, “reminds me of college and finals.”
“In a good way.” you add.
“You climbed on the ladder
With the wind in your sails
You came like a comet
Blazing your trail
Too high, too far, too soon
You saw the whole of the moon.”
You and Carter both hummed the last line quietly.
“Have you kept in touch with Wilson or Kennedy or any of them from college? You and Tracy were good friends.” Carter asked.
You shook your head. “Not those guys, I talk to Tracy all the time though. How about you? You were always more popular than me.” you asked and he laughed.
“Haven’t talked to them in a while. And that’s not true.”
“What, that you had more friends than me?” you asked.
He nodded and you scoffed.
“Says the guy who was always surrounded by girls and knew all the guys. You were med school royalty dude.”
“Yeah but none of them were my friends. They were just sucking up to me cause they knew my folks.”
You went quiet, you hadn’t actually considered this to be a possibility.
“Reasonable mistake to make, but I didn’t have as many good friends as you might think. Though I don’t deny the girls part…” Carter said and you laughed despite yourself.
“So uh,” Carter took a look in the mirror as he asked, “you still with whatshisname… Josh?”
You were surprised.
“Jake.”
“Ah, yes. Jake.” he said with a strange tone.
“No.” you became unforthcoming, Carter noticed.
There was a gap of silence.
“You’re on the corner of Ambrose and Winter?” you hadn’t noticed you had almost reached your street. You had told Carter whereabouts you were living during the week.
“Yeah, I’ll tell you when to stop.”
The silence resumed.
“Sorry for asking about Jake. I don’t know what got in to me” Carter shook his head.
“It’s okay, I just don’t want to talk about it.” you said. It wasn’t his fault you and Jake were on and off again and just so happened to be off right now.
Carter stopped outside your apartment.
“Thanks Carter. I really appreciate it.”
“Anytime Jones.”
He stayed parked until you closed the door and you watched him drive off through the window.
You could still smell cologne and pinecones on your scarf.