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"Phil, I am fine."
Phil pursed his lips, staring down at the vague shaped lump in bed that was most certainly not fine.
"Mate, you sound like death warmed up in the microwave. You can barely breathe and you flinch every time you move."
There was silence for a moment, and then-
"That's unrelated."
Phil pursed his lips so hard they disappeared, devoured by his face. "Techno Blade, either you get up and get in the car, or I'm calling an ambulance, and neither of us can afford that."
"You are a uniquely cruel and awful man," Techno grumbled, groaning faintly as he untangled himself from his sheets, "A monster, Phil."
"A monster invested in making sure you don't die." Phil pointed out, grabbing Techno's empty backpack and starting to throw the essentials in- chargers, clean pants, his kindle so Techno wouldn't try to leave to find a library or some shit.
"Ehhh I'd never die, I'm too good for that. Death is scared of me."
Phil tactfully chose to ignore that, mostly since Techno was wheezing just talking and he didn't actually want his best friend to die.
He tried once more to hide the depth of his concern as Techno leant heavily on him, eyes fluttering shut like he was about to fall asleep upright. They shuffled carefully to the elevator, Techno almost toppling over in the moment Phil darted away to press the ground floor button, making his heart spike.
Hey, if he did have a heart attack, at least they'd be in the best place for it?
Techno did fall asleep on the way, head tipping back against the seat the moment Phil started the car. Through the drive, he kept flashing terrified looks over at his best friend's chest to make sure it still rose and fell somewhat regularly.
He at least seemed to perk up a little as they pulled into the hospital parking lot, leaning against the car while Phil paid the parking fare, and walking a little more by himself as they went through the Emergency Room doors.
"Hullo," Techno said blearily, as they approached the check in desk, "I'm-"
"He's going to sit down," Phil instructed, glad to see it wasn't too packed and there were a few seats dotted around, "He can hardly breathe."
"Breathing is cringe," Techno said, but he did shuffle off to the closest free seat without more of a fight, which served to set all of Phil's hackles rising.
"Name and date of birth of patient?" the bored looking nurse said, tapping something on his computer.
Phil, who had had the forethought to steal Techno's ID, since they might have shared a cradle but he could not tell you whether his birthday was the 2nd or the 12th to save either of their lives (it was the 20th), rattled off all the information easily, and then they got to the symptoms.
The nurse paused as he listed them off, and then started tapping something a little more frantically, boredom slipping from his face. Oh dear. As much as everyone wanted to get through the ER quickly, no one wanted to be that fast.
"Alright-" he said after a moment, "If you take a seat in the waiting area, you'll be called back soon."
Phil nodded, and took the proffered wrist band, heading over to where Techno was slumped to help him tie it on. He seemed alert, if quieter than usual, and stared blankly across to one of the walls.
Maybe ten minutes had passed, before his ears caught Techno's name being announced and he stuck his hand up to indicate their presence. Yeah, this was not gonna go well.
"Mr Blade?" the woman said, "I'm Doctor Nihachu, do you think you could stand for me?"
"I had legs, last I checked," Techno grumbled, pushing up off his seat. Phil rose too, and reached out to steady his arm, but he moved too slow, and Techno seemed to topple in slow motion, overbalancing and tipping straight over onto the floor.
Everything moved terrifyingly fast after that, some strange haze overtaking Phil as a few of the surrounding patients screamed, and a handful of nurses rushed out with a stretcher. Techno was awake, but barely, eyelids drooping and his words coming out slurred. Phil wasn't sure if it was from a concussion, as his head had hit the floor with a sharp crack, or something more badly wrong. He wasn't sure he wanted to know.
He followed as far as he could, gripping the handle of the bed they transferred Techno into, before Doctor Nihachu finally seemed to notice him.
"Are you immediate family?" she questioned kindly, nurses bustling round the bed, taking vitals, hooking Techno up to things.
"I'm his best friend," Phil said, "I-"
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to wait, then." the Doctor said firmly, but not cruelly, before Phil had a chance to explain that Techno didn't have any immediate family in a thousand mile radius, "One of the nurses will take you somewhere quieter, where you can sit."
"Hold on!" Phil said, reluctant to let Techno disappear into this maze, so small in amongst the sterile sheets, "Is he gonna be okay?"
Doctor Nihachu smiled that smile Doctors use when they want you to trust them, "He's in the very best hands, I promise. He'll go in for scans, so we can work out exactly what's going on, and if he wakes up and gives consent, we'll be able to tell you a little more about the specifications."
Corporate jargon for 'he might be fine, he might flatline in the next thirty seconds, but either way we don't want to be sued'. Regardless, Phil let go of his grip on the bed frame and took a step back, allowing the bed to be pushed further down the corridor, disappearing round a corner.
His lip took the brunt of the assault as he was sat in a smaller waiting room, chewed until it was sore and swollen. Occasionally, one of the nurses would pass through and offer him some water, or a biscuit, or once a sandwich. He declined the food, too anxious to eat, but sipped carefully at the drinks and stared blankly at his phone. Usually, if he wasn't with Techno, they were messaging, but his notifications were dead. Obviously.
At some point, Phil realised he wouldn't be getting information today, and so he picked himself up and informed a nurse at a desk that he was leaving, but to please call him if anything happened.
Their apartment was too empty, too quiet. No constant clack of keys from Techno's late night gaming session, no ever present commentary on everything Phil did, tinged with that familiar teasing edge.
Phil was about ready to go back to the hospital and shake someone until they let him in, when he got the call Techno was awake and asking for him.
The hospital corridors were as blank and impersonal as the last time he'd been here, Phil being directed down a dozen different corridors until finally he ended up on the ward he needed to be.
Techno looked small, still, propped up against a dozen pillows, but his eyes were open and he looked deeply unimpressed with the entire affair.
"Hey Phil," he said casually, like Phil had just popped out for some milk and was returning, "Please tell me you have something decent to eat. They're starvin' me, Phil. You wouldn't believe the atrocities they commit to hard working, decent potatoes here."
Phil laughed. It was maybe a little hysterical, but dripping with relief, residual fear, and the knowledge that nearly dying because he was too stubborn to go to the ER like a reasonable person was nowhere near enough to dim Techno's spark.
"Fuck you too." he said, just as mildly, "I'll get you food when you stop being a stubborn idiot."
"Hey! I'm a stubborn fool at worst, how was I supposed to know this would happen?"
"Maybe you should get in the habit of listening to me," Phil said primly, plopping himself down on the end of Techno's bed, "Fuck, you scared the shit out of me, Tech."
"Dunno why, dying is cringe, I'd never do it."
Phil hit his knee, since it seemed the safest part of him to whack. Also the closest, but that was unrelated, "I mean it, dickhead. At least humour me the next time I spent three days begging you to go to the ER."
"Ehhh, I'll think about it!"
"Techno!"
Techno lifted his hands in mock surrender, "Fine! I'll listen! Don't assault my knees again!"
"I'll think about it."
"Touche. Now please can you find food? I need a jacket potato or I'm gonna die for real this time."