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"Hiya, Nagicchi! Why do you look so tired?"
"Just straight to the point, huh…"
Isagi mutters under her breath as she follows Bachira, who's bounding up to Nagi like she has candies in her pocket. Bachira reaches out an expectant hand. Nagi, who's sprawled on that random bench on campus, settles her flat gaze from the outstretched hand to Bachira's chipper expression; one hand on her knee as she bends down slightly to flash a grin at Nagi.
Bachira's hand shoots back when Nagi relinquishes and drops a little orange hard candy into her palm.
"Thanks!" she exclaims, popping the candy out of the wrapper and into her mouth.
"I'm tired," says Nagi.
"We know," says Isagi.
"Nagi of the Dead's return!!" Bachira cocks her head then, the yellow in her eyes a vibrant beetle's back. "Say, aren't you usually pretty tired? But that was more like, post-sleep exhaustion. This just looks like normal exhaustion."
"—Reo didn't want to come to bed last night," Nagi admits.
Isagi's eyes widen. "Oh no. You're not—arguing. Again. Are you?" She looks around with sudden urgency. "Oh god, that's not why you're not together right now, is it?!"
"…"
"You've gotta be kidding me. Please. God. No. That was a horrible experience for us."
"Chigiri…" Bachira considers pitifully.
Isagi nods. "Maybe we can save Chigiri this time."
"No, no, it's not that…" Nagi lets out a groan as she rises slightly from the bench. "Reo was occupied."
"Okay," says Isagi. "Okay. I'd be relieved but I don't trust it."
"Reo's one busy bee," Bachira hums inquisitively. "What was she doing?"
Nagi cringes, her face pinching like she's tasted something sour. "…That's the problem."
"It can't be that bad," Isagi scoffs. "Nothing you're not used to. Come on. You brag about being Reo's girlfriend all the time, and now you're telling me you can't deal with it only now?"
"It's," says Nagi. "Complicated."
"Complicated, how?"
"Reo…" Nagi starts.
Bachira nods vigorously, dying to know. "Uh huh…"
"Don't laugh."
"We won't laugh!" promises Bachira. Nagi eyes her with distrust regardless.
Still, she confesses.
"…Reo wants to be a stand-up comedian."
"—-and you know what I told him? I said, I SAID—no godammit, you listen to me! You give me 10% or I'm walking. 8%! You think I'm a fucking idiot? That'll barely cover the overhead! I want stock options. Margins! DELIVERABLES! CLOUD COMPUTING!!! Your ego is so inflated, the Japanese asset price bubble called—they want their Prime Minister back!! Eh…? Eh….?? .....God I love stand-up."
"…It was not funny," Nagi concludes.
"BUT YOU LAUGHED??" Isagi asks, desperate and horrified.
"I-I panicked!" Nagi exclaims in a small, worried voice. "I, I dunno, it just came out. I didn't even think about it, I just—kinda… laughed."
"Wow. That doesn't sound funny at all…!" Bachira says, more awestruck than judging.
"I didn't even know it was possible for you to panic-laugh."
"Yeah, that was always more of an Isagi thing," adds Bachira.
"W-What do you mean by that, Bachira," Isagi chuckles nervously. Bachira gives her a look. "…Right."
"That was last week," Nagi states, veering them back on topic. "Reo been constantly writing jokes in her notebook ever since. She stays up all night… hunched over her desk… muttering to herself about her niche financial and/or economical humor… you know how she gets when she decides to be obsessed with something…"
"Crazy," completes Isagi.
"Intense," suggests Bachira. "Totally egotistical!"
"So it doesn't matter whether or not you tell her if she's unfunny," calculates Isagi. "Because she'll be spurred on to improve it regardless."
"Yeah."
"Incredible… she'll stop at nothing," Isagi murmurs.
"That is very true but back off."
Isagi rolls her eyes, then tugs on Bachira's sleeve. "My girlfriend is literally right here."
"I don't care."
Bachira just giggles as she clings to Isagi's arm. "Of course Reo decides to pursue stand-up comedy of all things."
Nagi shakes her head, stirring the cascade of curls that are her cloudy-white hair. "It's not that crazy. You weren't there during the rakugo phase."
"—Wait." Isagi realizes something, a puzzle piece falling into place. "Nagi. You… you have told her that she's unfunny, right?"
Nagi blinks.
And avoids eye contact. Hm.
"Nagi," Isagi tries again. "You've told Reo that her jokes are only funny to her and businessmen over the age of fifty. RIGHT?"
"I…" Nagi clears her throat. "I told you. I laughed at her jokes."
"Huh!" exclaims Bachira. "Is Reo's sense of humor becoming yours too?"
"Uh, I don't know about that. I don't really get her jokes. The ones she writes for stand-up, at least. Reo has normal jokes, sometimes, when she's around other people… she's pretty good at reading social cues…"
"Yeah! That exactly. There's no way Reo wouldn't know if you were fake laughing," states Isagi.
Bachira goes oooooooooo yeah in agreement. "I really can't imagine Nagicchi doing any convincing acting..."
"That's what I'm saying! So what's going on here?!" demands Isagi.
"I just…" Nagi trails off, looking off to the side before covering her mouth with her sleeve. "She's just… so… cute."
"…"
"I understand it now," says Isagi. "You're crazy."
"She gets so excited… and thrilled… Reo always makes things fun and interesting."
"I think it's sweet," Bachira reasons to Isagi. She chomps down on the hard candy in her mouth; the cracking makes a loud sound.
"…Not only that," Nagi mutters. "She always wants to include me in those things, too… I dunno, I just… want to be there for her too. I would never lie to Reo. But I just don't know if she'd listen."
Bachira and Isagi exchange a look.
"Well…" Isagi claps a hand on Nagi's shoulder. "Hey, if Reo wants to do the most unfunny stand-up routine ever, then that's on her."
"Honestly, knowing her, your support matters more than what anyone thinks!" chirps Bachira. She gives Nagi a big ol' thumbs up. "So just keep doing what you're doing! Hooray! Everyone wins!"
"Hey, no, wait." Nagi sits up straighter. "Noooo. No the problem was that Reo won't come back to sleep. That's not—hey."
They're already leaving. "Bachira, we are so good at giving advice. Let's go have lunch."
"We're geniuses!"
"It's more like you're the genius, actually…"
"It's just a saying, Isagi."
"Wait!" Nagi huffs as she jogs to catch up to Isagi and Bachira; the two turn around once they hear her. "Ah, everything being said…"
Nagi removes a flyer from her pocket. "Reo's opening for the comedy show on campus today. You should come."
Nagi sulks on the bed, deprived of designated cuddle time.
She reaches a hand out of the blanket that swaddles her. "Reo… please… I need this…"
"You'll survive," Reo dismisses as she continues to pace around the room, going over her set.
"I don't want to just survive," whines Nagi.
"The comedy show is today, Nagi! I've prepared and I've practiced and rehearsed I NEED to practice more!"
"We have a scrimmage this weekend, too," reminds Nagi. "You should rest for that."
"I'll do that later," argues Reo. "We have time! Think about it. We'll dismantle the comedy scene as a male-dominated space one comedian at a time!"
Nagi smashes her face into the pillow and lets out a pathetic groan.
Reo beams in her direction. Nagi can sense it, so she picks her face right back up in time to see Reo's hair flutter as it settles down. Reo brandishes the pen from behind her ear to point it at Nagi.
"You. Nagi Seishirou. My one and only treasure. Please come up to the stage!"
Nagi sighs, but complies by rolling off the bed. With the blanket.
Reo crouches down and takes Nagi's face in her hand so that she looks up at her. The tip of her ballpoint pen is cold against her forehead.
"Hey, Nagi."
Reo waits purposefully for Nagi to respond.
"…Hi, Reo," she relents.
Reo is pleased by this bare minimum. "If a banker switches careers, would you say they lost interest?"
She draws the pen back, leaving a small dot of ink on Nagi's skin.
Nagi exhales; Reo looks so giddy for her response. Her smiles are always radiant; it's reaaaaally really difficult to not burn, when you're this close to the sun.
So Nagi can't help the twitch at the corner of her mouth. An almost smile as she soaks the rays of Reo's light.
"I guess I would say that," Nagi replies, and Reo smacks a kiss on her nose before throwing her head back to laugh.
There's a line outside the building where the comedy show is being held. Isagi shivers in the jacket Bachira gave her, while Bachira is hopping and jogging in place to keep warm.
Nagi catches sight of the two and walks out the building to meet them outside.
"You made it. Cool."
"What are friends for?" grins Bachira.
"We're here to support you support Reo's godawful comedy career," Isagi says kindly.
Nagi narrows her eyes at her. "You're not allowed to say that."
Isagi reconsiders her words. "I meant to say—we're here for you man."
"Nice save, Isagi," remarks Bachira.
"Just pay attention to Reo…"
The audience settles into the venue. The lights are low. Nagi is excited and a little nervous about the jokes. But definitely overall excited to see Reo shine. Reo is so charming, she wouldn't be surprised if she found a way to make her awful jokes work somehow. Would that not make them awful anymore? It's kind of fun not knowing what to expect.
Reo is a natural on stage. She's used to be watched by people. Nagi knows this.
She walks towards the mic like she's done this every day of her life, wearing one of her geometric button-ups over a sleeveless turtleneck. She smiles.
"Good afternoon, everyone. Allow me to introduce myself! I'm Reo. Yes, the Mikage. I see we've all been brought together in this moment of our lives to bask in the mediocre air conditioning of BL Uni." That gets a slight chuckle out of the audience. Reo pauses briefly to let it happen. "—You gotta wonder why they call it that. I suppose the straight man is a dying population here." Yeah, true. "I was a straight male once… don't laugh." They laugh. Reo mockingly plants a hand on her hip, and eyes the audience long enough that they start laughing again. This must be the magic of comedic timing. "—That being said, say hello to my girlfriend in the crowd! Hi, Nagi!"
Nagi blinks. Reo's waving at her, and eyes on the crowd flick to Nagi.
"She can't hear you," Reo teases, looking at Nagi from the mic, glimmering in the light. "Say it for real this time."
Hi, Nagi, the crowd echoes.
Nagi waves back at Reo.
"You must be conflicted," Reo tells the audience. "She's tall and strong. But she's got such a baby face! And what is that posture? You've seen a koala, right? You know, the ones that cling onto tree branches. They're adorable. Now, imagine if that koala could beat you up." Reo pauses for the laughs. "I'm not joking! Imagine if the koala could beat you up! Imagine if you swing a sucker punch at the koala, and it just grabs your first and says nice try. That's Nagi."
The crowd takes a glance at Nagi and lets out a good-natured laugh. Nagi assumes she's doing a good job at looking unassuming and confused.
"So," says Reo, and there's this spark in her eyes. "You must be wondering. What kind of person is she really?"
"Whiny!" Isagi immediately yells from the crowd, which gets Bachira to cackle.
"What was that?" asks Reo.
"She's whiny!" Bachira yells from her seat, doubling down.
"Whiny!!" Reo throws her arms up and an exaggerated surprised face, holding it until the audience laughs. "You think she's whiny, let me tell you about the time she refused to move from my lap during an online conference. Reo, what's that huge wispy white thing peeking out from the bottom of your screen? Is that your cat? —Oh, uh, don't worry about it! And then I look down, and I go, Nagi, maybe we should do this later—and Nagi says, I'll die if I move away from you." A pause. Reo makes a face. "What??"
Everyone around her laughs. Nagi's not even embarrassed. Because it's TRUE.
Reo builds on the joke. "…No, really. What????" Once the crowd finishes laughing, she picks it back up again. "Obviously I had to let her stay. This was life or death."
Nagi shrugs as if to go what can I say? It earns a chuckle from the people around her, especially when they see how composed her face is.
"So that's Nagi," Reo makes eye contact with Nagi again, smiling. "And that's why I love her."
Ah, realizes Nagi, feeling a blush crawl up her neck and creep through her cheeks. Reo's set is about me.
"Let me tell you about the time she spent six hours in the bathroom playing mobile games, and you'll love her even more!"
"I can't believe I was just tricked into listening to Reo talk about Nagi for thirty minutes—" exclaims Isagi. "And I can't believe I enjoyed it!"
The show just ended, and there were other people who performed, but the impression of Reo's opener lasts. If there's anything they've learned today, it's that Igaguri is a sorprano.
"Reopi was funny," gasps Bachira. "Like, funny funny! And it was even funnier because we knew some of those stories—you know the, the one about—"
"The one about Nagi falling asleep upside-down on the bleachers! Yeah!"
"That was one time," says Nagi.
"It was not just one time, evidently," adds Bachira, before turning back to Isagi to talk.
The conversation fades away as Nagi leaves those two to meet Reo outside as she exits the stage from the back.
You're amazing, Nagi thinks when she sees her.
This fact of life doesn't stop her from pouting with her hands shoved into her pockets. "Reooo. Why'd you practice your boring jokes on me?"
Reo flicks Nagi's cheek, snickering as she walks on by. "I was just messing with ya."
"All this time, you were acting like you couldn't do good stand-up…!"
Reo glances back, a teasing glint in her eye. "You're surprised I can?"
"No," says Nagi, catching up to Reo and falling into step beside her. She takes the opportunity to cling to her arm and rest her head on her shoulder. "I'm not."
And thus, Reo's stand-up comedy phase draws to an end.
(For now.)
In the middle of the night, lying on the bed while lying on Reo's torso, Nagi suddenly opens her eyes. She frowns, slightly. "So I just lost all that sleep for no reason?"
"Scrim… tomorrow… go to sleep…" Reo responds in her half-asleep state.
Nagi groans. Oh well. Reo's back, so pretty much everything is right with the world.