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For once, the atmosphere of Overwatch’s northern base was completely relaxed. No looming fear of being ambushed or having military forces arrest them for simply breathing the same air as one another. Christmas was the one time of the year where everyone agreed to an unwritten rule to enjoy each other’s company and loosen up a little. Outside may have been freezing, but inside the lounge was warm with a fire Torbjorn set up before disappearing with a jug of eggnog almost half his size.
While most of Overwatch’s agents seemed to be off in groups socializing with one another, laughing and sharing stories about their families back home, Jesse McCree with eggnog in hand, was content to hang back in the corner of the room like some scruffy wallflower. Christmas was his least favorite time of the year, but even he had to admit that the aura of the base was pleasant.
Reinhardt’s laughter echoed against the appropriately decorated walls as half the room listened to one of Winston’s mishaps with peanut butter and a science experiment gone wrong. An awfully pinked cheeked Angela and Pharah were leaning against each other, sleepily murmuring things as they sat on a set of stairs, both with emptied eggnog cups in their hands. Jack seemed happy enough sitting in the corner of the room, like he was watching over all his children.
Jesse had seen just about everyone at some point tonight, except for one. The only one he really cared about seeing at least once before the night had ended. He kept searching for the reflection of the yellow silk scarf that belonged to a certain archer, and yet, he wouldn’t be surprised if he never even got a glimpse before the party ended.
Instead what Jesse did see was the top of a hot pink headband out of the corner of his eye. Hana leaned against the wall next to him. “Hey-ya.”
McCree looked over. She was mocking his position, one foot on the wall and arms crossed. Sunglasses made to look like two Christmas trees decorated her face. She turned to him, giving him a single nod of her head. He was busy staring at her LED lit sweater that had the word “MERRY” sprawled across it.
“Does it play music too?” He asked, laughing at the gaudiness of it.
“It does actually.” She pressed a snowflake on her chest and ‘Jingle Bells’ started playing.
“I wasn’t being serious, but I ain’t surprised neither.”
“Ana made it, Lucio helped me add the lights and music.” She explained, beaming the same way a mother would when bragging about her child.
“Where’s your other half? I take it his says ‘Christmas’?”
“Making a hangover remedy for everyone in the morning. For someone who doesn’t drink, he sure knows his stuff.”
McCree gave a nod.
“So where are all your stories tonight, cowboy? Normally when we get you started we can’t get you to shut up.” She glanced at his cup, still half full. “I think you need to drink faster.”
“Guess I’m just not feelin’ up to it tonight. Are you havin’ fun at least?” He asked, quickly changing the subject before she could press him on it.
“No.” She huffed. “You guys won’t let me drink.”
“You ain’t twenty-one yet, little missy. Rules are rules.”
She pushed off the wall to face him, lifting her glasses to make certain he saw that she was most definitely rolling her eyes at him. “I’m legal to drink literally everywhere else. Besides, we’re already breaking the law right now. You really think the police are gonna bust in here because you’re letting a minor drink?”
“Alright, alright.” McCree said, handing her his cup, making sure no one that cared was watching. “Just don’t tell Jack.”
A self-satisfied grin and one giant gulp later, she replaced her glasses and leaned back against the wall. She handed McCree back his cup. He couldn’t help but notice there was barely anything left. “Alright John Marston, I was gonna strike a deal with you, but you kinda already gave me what I wanted.”
“A deal?”
“That’s right.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “These glasses aren’t just for looks, you know. I’m undercover.”
“Secret agent D.Va?” He played along.
She snapped her fingers, making a gun gesture at him. “Nailed it.”
“Alright, agent. What’s this deal?”
Hana looked around, dramatically as though looking for eavesdroppers. “Not really a deal anymore, but I guess I’ll just tell you. Hanzo.”
“What about ‘em?”
“You wanna tame that dragon, right?”
Jesse’s interest was piqued instantly. “I’m listenin’.”
She lowered her glasses as she looked up at him, eyes sweeping around one more time before leaning in closer, voice lowered. “Sounds like he might be waiting for a certain someone under the mistletoe.”
McCree blew out a soft ‘Heh-’ He leaned away, scratching his beard. “Really now? I ain’t even sure Hanzo knows what mistletoe is. How do I know you ain’t just playin’ a trick on this old man?”
Hana just flashed a grin. One that McCree had seen many times before. The same one he saw when she asked him to help Lucio and her fill Jack’s room to the brim with thousands of balloons, or when she almost successfully filled the entire training pool with Jell-O. “This is legit.” She confirmed. “Got it all set up.”
“That’s what I’m worried about.” He sighed, dropping his arms. “Maybe this booze is workin’ a little better than I thought it was.” He pushed himself from the wall. “That, or I’m just a damn fool.”
“Go get em’ cowboy!” Hana cheered.
“Yeah, yeah. You better hope this ain’t gonna backfire, or I’m tellin’ Jack you’ve been sneaking eggnog.” He said, putting his cup down on a table as he passed by.
His threat didn’t faze her in the least bit, shooting him a thumbs up and wide smile as she watched him walk into the other room. If the lord had any mercy on him, all that would be waiting for him was an empty room and an amused Hana for getting his hopes up. But then again, when had the lord ever had any mercy on him before?
“Well I’ll be damned.” Jesse muttered as he rounded the corner. There he was, standing right there in the doorway, mistletoe and everything, just like Hana said. Hanzo definitely looked like he was waiting for something.
“Well ain’t you a sight for sore eyes, Shimada-san.” He greeted, strutting over as he laced his thumbs through his belt loops. He looked no different from the regular day-to-day, but just seeing him was enough to raise even Jesse’s spirits.
Hanzo’s attention snapped to the cowboy, he eyed him up and down, like he was trying to figure something out before his eyes rested on his face. His eyebrows knitted together. “What?”
“It means you’re lookin’ good.” He explained.
“I see.” Hanzo’s eyes drifted away, staring at a spot on the wall opposite of Jesse that was much more interesting than he was. “Thank you.” He murmured.
Jesse was now standing in the doorway with Hanzo. Either he didn’t care or didn’t notice the plant above them.
“Have you seen Miss. Song at all?” The look of impatients growing just slightly on Hanzo’s face. “She asked me to wait here for her.”
Well that explains things. “I sure haven’t.” Jesse lied.
A low sound came from Hanzo’s chest, almost like he was growling.
Jesse cleared his throat. If there was ever a time to try his luck, now was it. If everything backfired, at the very least he could just blame it on western traditions and booze. “So Hanzo.”
His attention came back to Jesse along with the raising of an eyebrow. “Yes?”
He pointed to the mistletoe above them. “I don’t reckon you’ve noticed that plant hangin’ above us, have ya?”
Hanzo’s eyes flashed upwards at it. “What of it?”
Jesse leaned back on his heels. “Don’t suppose you know what it is, do you?”
“Ugly?”
That earned a laugh from the gunslinger. “Naw. Well, yeah, but maybe a little. But it ain’t just there for decoration. See, that’s mistletoe. And we got a certain tradition here in the states when two people get caught under it.”
Hanzo’s expression was caught somewhere between interest and worry. “And what would that be?”
A smirk grew on Jesse’s face. He leaned in a little bit closer. “Well I can show you, if you like.”
“Very well.” Hanzo answered.
Jesse took advantage the archer’s height by resting an arm against the door frame above his head. Hanzo’s eyes lit up with realization the moment he knew he was trapped. He was quick to put his hands up to push the gunslinger away, but lips tinted with rum and eggnog pressed against his before he had the chance.
Jesse felt the sting before he saw the hand.
Their kiss came to an abrupt end. Hanzo’s eyes were dark, stained with a type of rage that Jesse didn’t think was possible even for Hanzo to show. His cheek was on fire, but that didn’t bother him so much as the fact that he knew he screwed up.
Without another word, Hanzo was gone as though he had never been there to begin with. All that was left was the utter silence that fell upon Jesse and a shocked expression as he stared at the empty space in front of him.
“That could have gone better.”
The voice almost made Jesse jump out of his skin. “Hana, Jesus. Were you watchin’ that whole time?”
“Like you weren’t expecting it.” She said with arms folded.
McCree rubbed the bridge of his nose with an exhausted sigh. “You’d think I’d notice that sweater of yours from a mile away.”
“Maybe it’s time for glasses, old man.” She teased before pausing briefly. “Seriously, I didn’t think that was how it was gonna go down. I even saw him drinking a little of the eggnog earlier. I figured he’d be surprised, but I didn’t think he’d just straight up own you.”
He rubbed the side of his face. The sting of the slap wasn’t as bad as the shock of it. “Now just what made you go on to think he’d enjoy any bit of that?”
“Genji.” There was a slight tone of childish innocents in her voice as if to say ‘blame him, not me’.
“You didn’t think maybe he weren’t just pullin’ your leg?”
She folded her arms across her chest. “I know when he’s messing with me and when he isn’t.”
“Well you guys sure got me.” There was a bite to his tone. One that caused Hana’s face to sour. “Sorry.” He added quickly, feeling instant guilt. He leaned against the doorframe where Hanzo had been standing, carelessly taking a cigarillo out and sticking it between his lips.
“It’s all good, cowman.” She watched Jesse light it before commenting “Y’know Angela’s gonna kill you if she catches you smoking inside.”
Jesse puffed until he could taste it. “Have you seen her? She’s drunk as a skunk. I ain’t worried. ‘Sides, I think she’s busy with a certain Miss. Amari at the moment.”
“At least someone’s getting lucky tonight.”
“Yeah, and it ain’t me.” He said, blowing smoke out.
Hana awkwardly stood, bundling her hands inside her oversized sleeves. She watched the smoke roll off Jesse’s lips, looking like she stuck between what to say or do.
“Do me a favor and let me know if you see Hanzo.” He said finally.
Hana took the hint. “You got it.” She said before turning to leave.
Spotting an empty green plastic cup on the floor, Jesse picked it up, figuring it would make a decent enough ashtray. It still had eggnog left over inside, just enough to make a pool in the bottom of the cup. Whoever was drunk enough to throw a cup on the ground without the concern of getting their ass chewed by Jack was too drunk, and probably a danger to them all. He tapped the ash off on the lip of the cup and watched as it dispersed over the surface of the liquid.
Jesse did his best to push the regret settling in his chest away, but was hardly successful. Was there still time to say he was just too drunk to think about what he was doing? The scene played out over and over again in his head. Hanzo was finally starting to open up to him, and he had to go and ruin it all with one dumb move.
“McCree-san.”
Jesse’s head rose to the familiar synthetic voice. Part of him was relieved, the other part just wanted to enjoy his pity party.
“How you likin’ the party, Genji?”
“Perhaps a little more if I was still able to enjoy alcohol.” He admitted. “Although even if I could, master would likely frown upon me doing so.”
Jesse took in another puff of his cigarillo.
“Hana told me that your attempts to woo my brother did not go quite so well.”
He laughed. “I weren’t necessarily tryin’ to woo ‘em.”
Genji held a hand up as if deflecting the denial. “I would not recommend trying to approach him, at least not immediately. My brother is a very conflicted man. It would be best to give him some time to think about what just happened.”
Jesse observed the end of his cigarillo. “Dunno if I can sit here and just let him be mad at me like that, Genji. Not without at least tryin’ to redeem myself, anyway.”
“Whether or not you take my advice, I hope for both of your sakes that this does not result in him shutting you out. I consider you a very good friend, Jesse. I want the best for the both of you.”
He rose his head a little. “And just what would that be?”
“That is not up to me.” Genji said. “That is up to you two.”
Jesse considered Genji’s words before answering. “Suppose you’re right.”
“If you want my opinion though, I could not ask for a better man to love my brother.”
Jesse chuckled at that statement. “That’s a bit ironic, don’t ya think? I mean, I’m not exactly someone you’d wanna show off to the family.”
“Maybe a little.” Genji agreed, the tone of his voice showing that he saw the humor as well. “But that is not to say I mean it any less. You have changed a lot, Jesse. I think that you can help heal my brother, and that he can help heal you, as well.”
That statement settled over Jesse in a way he couldn’t quite explain. Stuck somewhere between gratefulness and defensiveness. “Well thank you, Genji. That means a lot t’me, hearin’ that from you.”
Genji nodded silently, turning to allow Jesse his alone time, but he stopped him. “Question for ya before you go.”
He turned back to face him. “Yes, of course. What is it?”
“Hana said she heard from you that your brother may have hinted that there was a little more than just friendship between us. She wasn’t just tryin’ to make you take the blame, now was she? If I’m gonna apologize, I wanna know where my cards lay here.”
Genji shifted his weight, tilting his head while pausing to think, choosing his words carefully. “Hanzo is slowly opening up to me about a lot of things. One thing he brings up often is you.” His tone softened to one almost playful in nature. The same tone Jesse recognized from when getting into their shenanigans together in their younger years at Overwatch. “I shouldn’t be telling you this, but he may feel more affection towards you than he lets on. Do with that what you will.”
“I think I see what you’re sayin’.”
Genji nodded, turning to rejoin the party a little quicker than the first time, perhaps so his more mischievous side was not tempted to tell more than he should at the risk of his brother’s fragile trust in him.
Now Jesse was alone with his cigarillo and his thoughts, something he had grown to be accustomed to this time of year. He finished his smoke, maybe a little quicker than normal. Despite what he had said earlier, there was still a part of him that utterly feared the idea of getting caught by Angela. Drunk Angela, while happy for the most part, was a force to be reckoned with. It only took witnessing one successful attempt at strapping a very unwilling Gabriel down to one of her medical beds when their New Year’s party got a little too crazy one year to drill that straight into Jesse’s head.
Not to mention that there was a whole group of people in the very next room that he considered a family. A family that he hadn’t seen in years. He couldn’t remember how long ago it had been since they’d all spent a Christmas together, and yet here he was, moping by himself.
With a sigh, Jesse scrapped together what was left of his dignity and dropped his cigarillo butt in the plastic cup before he pushed off the doorframe to return to the party. The room was significantly quieter than before. The group in the middle of the room had dispersed until there were only a few still left out here.
Lena and Winston were asleep against one another, and Reinhardt wasn’t far behind, half asleep in a recliner, his cup of eggnog dangling from his hand. Angela was now sandwiched between Pharah and Genji, her arms wrapped around both of them. Even if Jesse couldn’t see his face, he could tell by Genji’s position that he was stuck between wanting to stay by the doctor’s side, and running away before a very drunk Pharah could murder him. Hana and Lucio sat on the floor against the wall, watching a video on a tablet sitting between the two of them. Every other second they would laugh as quietly as they could at whatever they were watching.
Jesse took a moment to appreciate the comfort in the room. It wasn’t often they got to enjoy these moments. He couldn’t help be notice Jack had since left. No doubt he had a lot on his mind considering what time of year it was. Even if their relationship became as broken as it had, Gabriel still had left a hole in both of their hearts. Jack never seemed to want to talk about it, which was fine, because Jesse never seemed to want to talk about it either.
Jesse shuffled through the room to get more eggnog. While being amongst friends again was nice, and much better than how he had been spending Christmas these past few years, it still only made him remember the things that he had lost. With any luck, Hanzo wasn’t going to be one of them.
He found his cup that he had previously set down and started to refill it. Before he was simply drinking just enough to get him through the night. But now there was the intent to get rid of both memories and regret.
He stood by the window, looking out to try and see if it was snowing. But just as his eyes adjusted enough to see the soft orange and red hues that came with a snowy night, he became distracted by a yellow scarf blowing in the breeze.
--
“This is a secret recipe, so don’t tell anyone what you saw here.” Mei said with a wink, handing Jesse two mugs filled with homemade hot chocolate.
“That was mighty kind of you.” Jesse was careful not to burn his hand while handling the mugs. “You didn’t have to. The packaged stuff would have been just fine.”
Mei’s eyebrows knitted together, her cheeks innocently puffed in false anger. “You’re doing this as an apology, Jesse. It only works if it’s homemade, and made with love. Which it is. I even put in a little extra, just for you.”
Mei’s girly sweetness was almost overbearing at times, but it always managed to comfort Jesse one way or another. “I just hope this works.”
“I’m sure that it will.” She sat down, going back to work on the gingerbread house Jesse had caught her in the middle of making. “Good luck, though. Let me know how it goes, okay?”
“Alright.” Jesse agreed. “Thank you, Mei.”
The closer he got to the door leading outside, the faster Genji’s warning replayed in his head. He tried to remember to breathe and pretend that approaching the archer might lead to their relationship’s untimely end. He was almost hoping someone might arrive to save him from his own stupidity, or at the very least his common sense would kick in, but no such luck.
He struggled to open the door with two mugs in his hand, finally getting it open with a push. He froze in place, waiting to see if Hanzo, who was sitting a couple feet away from him would notice. He didn’t even turn around, not even slightly.
It was quiet. The type of quiet that can only exist when it’s snowing. Jesse almost felt bad being out here, like he was abrupting it with his presents alone. He kept walking until he was right behind him. “You looked cold out here all alone, so I uh, brought you somethin’ to warm you up.”
Hanzo seemed perfectly content pretending Jesse didn’t exist by staring out at the ocean. Jesse shifted his weight, his feet crunching in the snow. Hanzo briefly glanced up at him before returning to watching the coastline. Jesse lowered the mug down to him as though he was trying to reach into the open mouth of an alligator.
To his mild surprise, Hanzo took the mug, wrapping his hands around it for warmth. “Thank you.”
“Welcome.” Jesse didn’t realize he’d been holding his breath this whole time. “Mind if I join you?”
Hanzo said nothing. Jesse knew by now that if he really didn’t want him to, he wouldn’t have been shy about telling him no. He wiped off some snow that had piled up on the bench Hanzo sat on and took a seat.
Neither of them spoke. Jesse watched Hanzo take a sip from the mug from the corner of his eye. As though it were permission to also drink, he took a sip too. Mei wasn’t wrong, this tasted way better and chocolatier than anything he’d had before.
Jesse sighed and watched his frozen breath roll away into the night sky. He couldn’t help but notice that gained a side glance from the archer. He hoped that wasn’t a warning to keep his mouth shut.
He tested his chances. “Han?”
Hanzo’s eyes shifted towards him.
“I didn’t mean to… I wasn’t tryin’ to… I was just…” He growled at himself, dropping his head off to the side. “I fucked up. I fucked up real bad. I shouldn’t of done what I did. I was too drunk and too stupid to think straight. I wasn’t thinkin’ about how you were gonna feel about it. I was just bein’ an ass.”
Hanzo turned towards Jesse. He could only hope that was a good sign.
“I’m sorry, Han. Real sorry.” He continued. “I deserved to be slapped. Hell, I probably deserved more than that. But I don’t want this to hurt us. Whatever it is we got, it’s one of the few things I’ve got left, and I ain’t just about to let it go so easily. I’ve messed up a lot of things for myself, Hanzo. I don’t want this to be one of ‘em.”
Hanzo was silent for a long while, turning away from Jesse, back towards the Ocean.
“You have been smoking.” Hanzo quietly commented.
Jesse was silent. He wasn’t exactly sure what he should take from the observation.
Hanzo’s head turned to Jesse, his dark eyes pinning the gunslinger down in a way he couldn’t quite describe. “Do you regret what happened?”
“I ain’t sure I can answer that one.”
Hanzo continued to watch him, waiting for an actual answer.
“I mean, I regret makin’ you uncomfortable. I regret hurtin’ you at all. But I don’t think I could be an honest man by sayin’ I regret kissin’ you.”
Hanzo’s eyebrow rose, but still he remained silent.
The silence made Jesse uncomfortable as all hell. “I made a damn fool outta myself, Hanzo. And I brought you along for the ride.”
Hanzo tilted his head. “I do not think that I was along for any ride of yours.” There was just the slightest hint of amusement in his voice.
Jesse rubbed the side of his face where he’d been slapped. “That’s for damn sure.”
Hanzo laughed at him. The sound alone was enough to twist Jesse’s stomach into knots, but the smile that accompanied it nearly pushed him over the edge.
“I should apologize as well.” He said after quieting down.
That came as a surprise to Jesse. “Really now?”
He nodded. “I was not prepared for such… action. My initial reaction was not necessarily a proud one.”
Jesse sat up a little straighter.
“I was not quite sure how to handle it.” He continued. “It was so sudden, that I reacted without giving it thought.”
“It’s fine, Hanzo. I probably deserved it.”
“You probably did.” Hanzo smirked at him. There were those knots again. “Even still,” he closed the gap between them, sliding over so that their legs touched. Jesse stiffened, feeling like his heart was going to leap out his throat. “I still feel as though I should apologize, if you will accept it, that is.”
“Sweetheart, with a face like that, how couldn’t I?”
“Actually,” Jesse felt Hanzo’s hand close around his leg. “There is still a little more to the apology.”
Jesse wondered if Hanzo could hear how loud his heartbeat was getting. “Yeah?”
Jesse felt Hanzo’s hand move from his leg to under his serape, grabbing the button up shirt beneath. “Yeah.”
Jesse was pulled forward, meeting the archer’s lips. He placed his hot chocolate beside him before snaking his arms around Hanzo’s waist. He took in the fact that Hanzo’s lips tasted like sweet wine and chocolate. Trying to make it something he could never possibly forget even if he wanted to.
They pulled away, but took their time, watching each other, allowing hands to stay where they wanted.
“I think that was even better than the first one.” Jesse commented.
“I would hope so.” Hanzo said. “Unless you enjoy being slapped, that is.”
Jesse wiggled his eyebrows as he pulled away for a moment. “I just might, sugar.” He unwrapped his serape from his shoulders as he watched Hanzo roll his eyes at his comment. He draped it around the both of them. “You’re gonna catch a cold if you keep sitting out here like this, darlin’.”
Hanzo leaned against Jesse shoulder. “I am not too worried.”
Jesse kept an arm around Hanzo’s waist, letting himself enjoy the touch while he found his hot chocolate again. Either Mei knew what she was talking about, or this was a damn Christmas miracle.
“Merry Christmas, Hanzo.” He nuzzled the top of Hanzo’s head.
Hanzo softly chucked to himself. “Merry Christmas to you, too, Jesse.”
--
Meanwhile, inside, Genji, and Hana stood at the window, watching everything.
“Well it’s damn about time.” Hana commented before she turned to Genji whose head hung just a little. “A bet’s a bet. Hanzo kissed him first. It’s time you pay up, bitch.”
He sighed. “I’ll give you the money tomorrow morning.”