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2016-12-25
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You're Not Okay

Summary:

The holidays is seen as a time of cheer and fun. Finding time to buy gifts, plan for activities- and, as many people loathe, spending time with relatives. But no matter how hard it may be, sometimes it's the hardest time of the year for people.

Notes:

here's a little hurt/comfort thing I wrote for my wonderful qpp, Sammy, for Christmas. This is so bad now that I look back on it but I tried to do the best I could, I really hope you like it!

Work Text:

Equius had become surprisingly close to this kid in his environmental energy class.

Initially, he didn’t like the man named Eridan. While Equius did fall naturally into a sort of follower status, this kid just seemed too full of himself and rude. Besides that, he couldn't even seem to figure out what the tiny man wanted from him. If Equius followed Eridan’s wishes, Eridan acted as if he was shocked and urged Equius to retaliate. If Equius retaliated, Eridan seemed even worse off, getting horribly defensive and even scared at times. The first few months they knew each other was a vicious cycle of hatred and confusion from both of them.

By the time the first quarter was over, however, they were forced to reach an understanding. Their professor paired them up for a project; one to make up almost 30% of their grade. Both of the smaller men tried to protest, but Mr. Vantas was a firm believer of “working with those you dislike in order to reach an understanding.”

The first week they talked was made up of harsh and short conversations just to see what they needed to get done. However, after a particularly cruel “shit talking session” as Equius’s QPP, Nepeta, called it, they both realized how much it was just hindering them to be cruel to each other. They awkwardly apologized to each other, obviously not used to doing such things, and tried to be friendlier.

This worked much better than Equius anticipated. Eridan seemed to reveal in the attention he got from Equius, and it was just as nice for Equius to have someone so close by he could trust. He learned about Eridan’s love of military history, which just happened to be his major, drama, and even shitty love stories every once in awhile. He found himself looking forward to seeing Eridan get excited about something new to talk about. Eridan even listened to Equius talk about his affinity for machinery and archery, which seemed to annoy most people Equius talked to. Equius loved Eridan’s company after a while, even after the project was long past finished.

Now, however, the mechanic was worried. Eridan always talked to Equius when he got home, whether it be because he needed help with work or just someone to talk to. It was part of Equius’s schedule at this point. The night before the final day of the semester, though, Eridan was off the grid. He wouldn’t respond to Equius’s texts or calls, not even when Equius told (a lie) that he got an old war history book for Eridan.

Equius decided to go to Eridan’s apartment to check on him. They both lived off campus, which was considerably cheaper, but their apartment buildings were quite far away from each other. Eridan’s apartment was almost 45 minutes away. Equius knew he should be studying for finals the next day, but he decided his friend was more important.

Just as he got his coat to leave, however, someone knocked at his door. He didn’t expect any company tonight. Did he miss a text from Nepeta? Shaking off his confusion, he opened up the door- only to be greeted by the man who he was going to meet.

Any relief he might have felt at this was washed away as he saw the state Eridan was in. His eye was swollen and bruised to all hell, and a cut on his cheek ran from the corner of his ear almost to his lip. He looked like he had been crying, tears frozen on his cheeks in the cold air. He was only wearing a light jacket, but Equius couldn’t tell if he was trembling from cold or something else.

“Goodness, Eridan,” Equius breathed out in shock. “What happened to you?”

“I…” Eridan squeaked out, his voice much more shaky and weak than usual. “F… fell down the stairs.”

“I don’t believe you’d be this injured from falling down the stairs,” Equius sighed, shaking his head as he held the door aside. “That doesn’t matter right now, come in.”

Eridan did as he was told without much protest. Equius’s apartment was small, his bed and desk taking up the most space. There were a few paintings and pictures on the wall, mainly of horses or pictures Nepeta drew for him, and a few bits of machinery he brought home scattered around the place. Eridan plopped down on the bed, still shaking and sniffling.

Equius didn’t hesitant before wrapping a blanket around Eridan’s small figure, reaching out to give a reassuring pat- only for Eridan to recoil harshly. This striked the most concern in Equius, but he only turned away to his little kitchen area. His main focus was getting Eridan safe and warm first, then the comforting can come later.

As Equius got some hot chocolate for Eridan, the little historian asked, “Can I stay the night?”

“I don’t see why not,” Equius said, bringing the cocoa over to the other. “If you tell me what happened.”

“I told you, I fell dow-wn the stairs. I’m okay,” Eridan huffed, his faint stutter only worse with his shivering.

“Unless you take me for a fool, Eridan, you know very well that I will not fall for that. You are very much not okay.”

“I’m not scared!” Eridan snapped, before slowly sinking back again. “Well… not too much.”

Equius sighed and sat next to Eridan, still giving him a little bit of space. “Eridan, please. I’m simply concerned for you.”

Eridan was quiet for a few moments, just looking at the hot chocolate in his hands in silence. Equius waited the whole time. He wasn’t going to force Eridan to tell him, as he knew very well that Eridan would only push him away further if he did. Soon enough, Eridan took a deep breath, but still didn’t meet Equius’s eyes.

“My dad came in early for the holidays to see me.”

Confusion washed over Equius. Eridan’s father? Until now, Eridan had refused to speak about his family at all. Equius had asked only once or twice about Eridan’s relatives, but Eridan had always dodged the subject saying that he didn’t want to talk about them.

“So, what about your dad?” Equius asked quietly.

“He…” Eridan whimpered, shaking even harder now. “I don’t talk about him for a reason Equius. He didn’t like that I’m a boy, and he didn’t like the fact I hadn’t talked to him, and he…”

Eridan was breathing so heavily at this point that Equius was shocked he was still able to talk- but he could tell that Eridan wouldn’t be able to for much longer. Equius reached out a hand for Eridan.

Equius said quietly, almost as if in a whisper, “Eridan, you don’t have to say anything more. I’m here and you’re safe, alright?”

Eridan nodded as he set the cup to the side. Then, suddenly, he pulled Equius into a tight embrace. Equius was shocked at this and, while he would normally push someone away if they did this, he found himself holding Eridan. He felt almost hypnotized by the other’s embrace, and he didn’t want to let him go.

As Equius gently pet his hair and held Eridan, the smaller man started to cry quietly. Equius just let him as he whispered soft words of encouragement to him, that he was proud of Eridan and that he was there for him.

After he calmed down more, he looked up at Equius and mumbled, “W-why are you helping me?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Come on, look at me. I’m pathetic an’ gross an’ rev-voltin’ and…”

“Eridan.”

“W-what?”

“May I kiss you?”

Eridan looked shocked at the request. Despite that, he slowly moved his lips up to meet Equius’s, almost as if he was hesitant in every action he took. Equius just gently took Eridan’s hand as he kissed the other man, giving it a gentle- as gentle as he could muster- and reassuring squeeze.

“Eridan Ampora,” Equius whispered against his lips. “You mean so, so much to me. I want to help you because I care for you, more than anything I ever have before. Even if you’re not okay, I’ll be here with you.”

Eridan pulled away to look up at Equius, tears threatening to spill again. “You won’t leave me?”

“Never.”

“That’s all I ev-ver w-wanted.”