Chapter Text
My mind is still settling.
Like dust after being kicked up in a storm. It’s been hard getting used to this new normal. At least, that’s how I’ve been describing it.
The past couple weeks have been rough, both physically and emotionally. I got my friends back… kind of. Frank’s annoying but, he cares… I almost died. Twice. Jean is finding her place in the world. I hope she finds others like her, people who get her. Bring her peace of mind like Ned and Mj used to do for me.
It’s time for me to move on. It’s been time for a while now.
Dewolff was right. He needed some ‘Peter’ time. Well, she didn’t say that exactly, but he definitely needed a break from Spider-man.
Things were doing better for Peter. He’d accepted that things will never be like they were. He would still have to build entirely new relationships, even with the people that were closest to him. Ned and Mj care about him, but there’s still a part of Peter that feels like an outcast. He seems to make every situation quiet or awkward. That being said, he couldn’t keep isolating because it was the easiest option. He knew it was unhealthy and that eventually he would have to figure out what 22 year old Peter Parker was like. For the last few years it was like he was in stasis. Lived everyday like it was repeating. Wake up, fight crime, order pizza, stalk insta and sleep, if he could. Meanwhile, Ned and MJ had time to grow. They went to college, partied. They found themselves.
All he seemed to do was lose himself.
Unfortunately, all that time alone made him painfully self aware. He was forgetting who he was, outside of the suit.
For the most part at least, he knew all these things. Doesn’t mean he didn’t suddenly lose his current self destructive tendencies. This day? Definitely a setback.
What was supposed to be a step forward today was more like a relapse, sitting at the bar in a local club, hoping to drown out his social anxiety with liquid confidence.
Why is it so easy to feign confidence as Spider-Man, but once the mask was off it was like he was socially inept?
He sighed and took a sip of his whiskey, maybe he could dilute that painful feeling that nobody wanted to talk to him and he should just-
Listen. Maybe dissociating using substances wasn’t the healthiest thing he could be doing on his break, but it was much more easier thought about than done. He rehearsed it all in his head, he would go to a club, have a good time, make new friends. Maybe even meet someone new. But it was clear he was woefully out of his depth.
He looked around the club. His new heightened senses just made the place even louder. The lights of varying colors stabbed his eyes and made it hard to see. At least as Spider-Man he had built in sunglasses…
The seat of his chair vibrated with the bass of the music. Shooting stars by Bag raiders was playing. There had to be about 30-40 people packed in like sardines, gyrating to the DJ’s remix of popular songs from the 10’s. He imagined his younger self would have been excited to see that clubbing was just like his imagination, at least during the themed 2010s/masquerade night. The advertisements told a borderline controversial yet weirdly appropriate story, “Party like it’s 2018 and you’re about to blip”. He was sure many were pissed by that clunky name, yet the controversy only grew the popularity of the event to the point he was tightly closed into his seat. Even If he wanted to leave, it was too much effort for this brilliant but lazy spider to try to wedge through. It goes to show how after so many traumatic events, the Gen Z population of New York City was going to continue to party either way.
If NYC could get over it, why couldn’t he?
So he decided he would just continue hating himself silently while sipping on more drinks while the catchy music played. He knew this wasn’t exactly his scene, but he had looked up “How to make adult friends” on Wiki How and got too embarrassed to read the other options. He was trying to find this Peter Parker, and maybe he’d find him here, 6 drinks in and slowly regretting his outfit choice.
As he mindlessly twirled his mini straw in his glass he looked through the dancing crowd to find someone staring back at him. In the busy crowds, one woman caught his eye. She wore a black mask and had some kind of iridescent tinsel in her hair. She smiled and gave him a wink with her long black lashes. She had some sort of platinum blonde or maybe white hair, under all these blue lights he couldn’t tell. She had on a tight black tank top that was layered with a white one and wore all sorts of beaded necklaces on top. Definitely trying to match the theme, however terrible it was.
He realized their eyes locked. She raised her bedazzled hand and waved, when tried to coax him to the dance floor to the beat of the song.
Peter shook his head. I am not a great dancer, you’re better picking any other head in the crowd. He thought to himself, but couldn’t help but grin at her silly attempt.
Maybe it was the fact he was the only one not wearing a mask, but he wondered then, what was so special about him? Lately, going out as Peter Parker felt like another superpower- Invisibility. Wherever he went, people’s eyes glazed over him. However, when they didn’t, he ignored them. Too scared to get too close.
Yet this was a chance to prove himself wrong.
This is it. A girl wants to do something fun with you. You’ve jumped off skyscrapers, and you’re more scared of talking to people? Come on, man.
So he mustered up the courage and found himself making space in the crowd. Forcing people around him to see him and move out of the way, because Peter Parker was here, and the new him wanted to dance. He chugged the last of whatever drink he had ordered after the last one, and set the glass to the side.
The girl dragged him further into the crowd, and now he could really feel the vibrations. The music was ear-bleedingly loud, but he started to move to the music, sort of clumsily. She chuckled at him.
“I’ll have you know, I am a well known shitty dancer.” He defended, faux appalled.
“Oh really? Well, I guess you’ll have to show off your skills, handsome.” She takes his hand and spins him around.
“I haven’t actually danced since…” He wanted to tell a funny story, something to continue the conversation but all it reminded him of was that the last time he danced it was with May, practicing for homecoming.
She could feel his sad energy bleeding into the ambience he guesses, because she then said,
“Shhhh, it’s okay. We aren’t here to talk about the past. It’s about living in the moment.” She pressed her finger to his lips. It was a gentle touch, she looked deep into his eyes. She might’ve been flirting but he believed her, for that one moment.
He nodded. No need to talk when you’re here to dance.
He felt something buzzing but ignored it. He promised he’d make time for Peter Parker, any crime could wait. It was probably just the music anyways.
The crowd pushed them closer together until their bodies were practically touching.
He tried to keep a respectful distance from her, but that was the opposite of what she wanted. Occasionally she would look around but right then, it was just them, dancing in the moment.
He felt the buzz again.
He couldn’t help but pull out his phone to see who was calling.
Yelena was calling?
It was about 11 pm at that point, whatever favors she wanted to call in could wait. He took a deep breath and put the phone back into his pocket.
As they continued to dance, the woman got closer to his face. He subconsciously leaned back, he didn’t know why. It wasn’t that she wasn’t attractive, it’s just-
She’s not MJ.
She backed up a bit, confused. “What’s wrong?”
“N-nothing. Nothing’s wrong, I just need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” He quickly sneaked away to the bathroom, internally chastising himself.
She’s a beautiful woman. What's wrong with you??
Yet he knew the answer, he just wasn’t ready yet to get back out there. MJ was the love of his life. At one point he couldn’t imagine living without her.
Yet she did live without him. And she liked it. She didn’t miss you. She didn’t even know you were gone.
He got to the bathroom and avoided the couples making out and the stickers surrounding the stall doors.
He checked his phone again. Multiple missed calls from Yelena.
Ok something serious is going on, why would she call me this much?
He tried to call her back but there was no answer.
That is… concerning.
The longer he waited and called, the more things started to feel off. He splashed some water in his face and stared into the mirror.
His face had deep lines under his eyes and stress marks between his brows. His eyes were dark, not just metaphorically. His eyes seemed to grow slightly bigger and a darker color after he mutated. His hair was messy, with deep brown curly tendrils working their way down his face. He didn’t usually look at himself this long. Too busy with “work” and didn’t really look at mirrors. He remembered why. He hated himself. Hated every decision he made. Second guessed everything. Everyone could see the worry on his face and it made him angry.
Yet one thing preserved, a sign of his past life. A shadow of his former happiness plagued the corner of his eyes taking the form of little crows. His wrinkles showed a man who used to smile. Often. Not that he didn’t smile as Spider-Man, but it was always more of a grimace under the mask.
He quickly realized how much time had passed calling Yelena and quickly headed back to the dance floor. Worried the girl might’ve taken this as him turning her down, he perused the crowd for that striking silver hair.
Suddenly his hair stood on end, a familiar feeling he got when danger was lurking. Goosebumps flooded his arms. He rubbed his neck as muscle pain cloaked his shoulders.
He looked around for the source and his eyes caught movement on the second story.
Up by the stairs there was a door and out came the girl he was dancing with- holding a safe of money. How’d he know? Her bag was heavy and dripping with dollars. One thing was new, black gloves with some sort of tech he couldn’t see from this distance.
Of course when I try socializing it ends up being with a criminal. Typical Parker luck.
This must’ve been the danger his spider sense was warning him about, right?
He ran back into one of the bathroom stalls and changed into his suit. Sure, some people were surprised to see Spider-Man come out of the club bathroom but like he said- Peter Parker is invisible. Spider-man is not.
And besides, it was a blip party. It’s akin to dressing up as a firefighter at a 9/11 party. People were shocked- but not really.
This time, as he quickly made it through the party people backed up and stared. It was easy to be Spider-Man. It came natural to him. It made him feel like a person again. Valuable.
He knows he’s both Peter Parker and Spider-Man- but he was reminded why it was so easy to give up on one side when the other felt like this.
It’s so hard to give himself time when his job never seems to end. Still, he ended up crawling up the rooftop to clock in.
There she was, tinseled hair glittering by the moonlight. She was staring out at the New York skyline. She jumped down and somersaulted into the next building as she ran away.
He chased after her and shot a web at her leg, tripping her. Her bag spilled out and she scrambled to collect it.
“So what’s your gimmick? You steal from clubs-“ He was cut off as she unsheathed the sharp claws from those new gloves, and sliced the webbing off.
“Ah, I get it- you’re a cat burglar! A cat burglar?? Get it?” Not his best quips, but fine for being pretty wasted. He shrugged it off and tried to web the bag towards him. Unfortunately, his coordination was completely off and he shot 3 feet away from the bag.
“Listen, Spider. I want to make this quick. You seem… plastered, and I could go all night. How about we split the pay? Does 20/ 80 sound okay with you? 20 for you, of course. I did most of the work.” She continued to walk towards him. “This is on the condition you let me go.”
He tensed up, preparing for battle, “Sorry, I don’t steal from small businesses, Cat. Well, really any business. Or, person. Matter of fact- I don’t steal, period.”
“Listen, you should be grateful I’m cutting you in. I’m actually a big fan of you, Spidey. And that club sucks anyways, who makes a party out of one of the biggest tragedies of the modern day?”
She gets close enough to crawl her fingernails up his chest and flicks his chin. This completely knocks him off guard.
“Listen, not a big fan of the theme either but aren’t end of the world parties pretty common?” He shrugs.
Suddenly he ducks as she swings her sharp clawed hands across his chest. He flips back a healthy distance.
“I don’t know, if I were you I wouldn’t get too close.” She says, despite actively getting closer with each swipe.
Good idea, he thinks to himself.
“Literally. Bad luck seems to rub off on me.”
He swings his fist once he gets a semi-accurate path, but she dodges easily, forcing to spin around to face her.
“Well, I guess it rubs off from me.” She corrects, then whips her leg, knocking the clumsy hero down. Not his finest moment.
EV his personal AI interrupts with a start, “Peter, Yelena Belova is calling back, should I answer?”
“Ugh, yes, finally. Answer the call.”
“Oh thank god, you’re okay. When you didn’t answer I thought you were dying in an alley somewhere.” He sighs, dodging more hits from Black Cat, deciding that’s what he’ll call her. Black mask, claws, keeps mentioning something about bad luck? Definitely a black cat.
“Yeah I wouldn’t be celebrating now, sad man.” Her voice, more stressed than he’s heard her sound before.
“What’s wrong??” He yells narrowly avoiding another claw to the face.
“Something is happening. Big potato stuff. You know how the new avengers weren’t supposed to happen?”
“No, Yelena. You never tell me anything, we just help each other sometimes. Why weren’t the New Avengers planned? I assume it had to do with that court case a while back?” He huffs, gaining space from black cat to get more privacy.
“Yes, I won’t get into it too much but the government wanted Captain America to create the team officially. We aren’t exactly… legally the avengers.”
“Well, I know that part-“
“Okay so why am I explaining this to you, you are wasting time-“
“-No no, continue.” He hurriedly says.
“Anyways, I’m calling in a favor. A really big one. The avengers teams are kind of fighting over this machine- It will send our conciousness to our past selves. And I kind of, added you to it.”
“WHAT.”
“Listen, the device is pulling everyone to the past, not just you. I’ll explain everything there since we are running out of time.”
“You are time traveling me??? Against my permission??” He angrily exclaimed.
“Well it’s not exactly time travel per se. It will be like our psychological and physical selves are merging… and it may or may not be painful.”
“Didn’t I say I was taking a break from Spiderman to focus on myself?” This shit is spiking his spider hormones to the moon and he can feel it.
“I know, I’m sorry but I don’t exactly seem to hear spa noises in the background.” He swings and misses. Black cat takes this as a chance and finally gets a hit on his face, “oof.” He painfully exclaims.
“What is that, essential oils?”
“Har har, I’ll have you know I was trying to enjoy myself until someone interrupted.” He’s getting pretty out of breath, and he can feel the stitches in his back trying to keep it together.
He runs and jumps, angling his body to the side to get the highest amount of momentum and flings her across the rooftop. She rolls into a crouching position.
“Damn..”
“What did you just say, sad man?” Yelena confuses his comment with her conversation.
“Nothing.”
“I don’t know who you’re talking to, Spider, but I’d say we’re having a good time” Black Cat winks, and knocks him off guard with a swinging kick and he falls back.
He gets up, cradling his sensitive back. This is starting to get embarrassing. Black cat starts to run and as he starts to chase her, he somehow trips over his feet and faceplants on the rooftop.
Bad luck.
He watches, lamely, as Black Cat disappears over the horizon with what has to be around 20,000 dollars.
“I’m gonna pretend I didn’t just hear that- listen, I gotta go, but you’ll feel it-“ The phone hangs up very suddenly.
That’s when it suddenly hits Peter. A shockwave of pain followed by intense dizziness as he gets up.
He can feel this intense pressure in his head and he quickly grasps it. His vision is an earthquake. It’s like he was quickly moving his eyes from side to side without moving them at all.
Then it was like a glitching tv screen where he can see two shows at once, overlapping. On one side is a blurry pale image he can’t quite make out and the other is the rooftop he has to be currently on… right?
Then it stops.
“What the hell was that-“
And just as quickly as it left, comes back with an even stronger force and this time he screams out, squeezing his eyes shut.
It comes in waves.
Suddenly after that intense pain, he stumbles backwards
And into a bathroom.