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“So you will vanquish all of the darkness in your memories, Riku?”
Maleficent was just as Riku remembered her, her sneer taking up her entire face. When Riku first met her, he had experienced a sort of sanctuary in her presence. She had offered her hand to him, had said she would help him save Kairi. Riku had lain comfortable in her shadow.
Only now could he see her for the monster that she so clearly was.
To Riku's determined nod, Maleficent arched an eyebrow. “Then you know you must vanquish yourself as well, boy, for we both see the truth of what you have become.”
Riku's stomach recoiled. He gripped Soul Eater tightly, looking Maleficent dead in the eyes.
“I know, and I will. But you're first.”
He'd meant it, too. He'd meant every word.
If Riku was a rotted husk, only capable of sowing more hurt, then he would do what he must to see his own heartlessness conquered.
He was thinking about that—about the reach of the darkness, about its axis and its pull—as he faced off against the shadow of Ansem, terrorizing Riku as he so loved to do. For now, Ansem's attacks were quick but predictable, and Riku felt as if he'd seem them all before, in a dream.
But of course, as soon as he thought he had the upper hand, he was knocked to the ground, his head striking the tile floor so hard that he saw black. Then he blinked, and he blinked again, and the darkness didn't clear, and Riku began to panic.
Was this all that was left inside of his soul? A wasteland of null?
Riku was astounded by the horror within himself, more and more dark everywhere he looked. He shuddered, unable to stand, unable to rise and face the darkness.
Perhaps if he closed his eyes here, the dark would erode him away. Perhaps he could disappear with as much peace as he deserved. Perhaps then he would finally stop hurting.
But when he chose to give in, a light pierced the void, followed by a familiar voice:
Don't give up! There is yet good within you!
Riku's heart plummeted.
The King. The King had found him.
Slowly, Riku opened his eyes, watching Ansem's shadows melt away. Right in front of his face, a golden outline formed, and within it flickered the image of Mickey.
Riku ached with loneliness. He reached out, but the mouse's silhouette passed through his fingers.
Still, warmth imbued his skin. Not completely without substance.
Riku gazed at the King and silently vowed to keep going. He couldn't give up until he had found the King in the real world.
Then he could finally ask him what in the world he had seen in Riku that was worth saving.
All of the Heartless bosses in Castle Oblivion's were Sora's.
Strange.
Riku had anticipated a few of them—his old nemesis Maleficent, for one, and his own shadow self, surprising as it was, for another—but more and more, he recognized the foes that Maleficent herself had bid against Sora. Riku vaguely recalled their names or powers, but these monsters were Sora's, not Riku's own.
The hallways were devoid of Riku's memories.
Still, he soldiered on, seeking a reflection of himself in the coming corridors. Despite how far he searched, aside from the hologram of the King, who followed in Riku's footsteps like a friendly ghost, Riku saw no other souls—living, remembered, or dead.
Each time he reached the end of a floor and came face-to-face with another of Sora's monsters, that same realization burrowed deeper within him. It was almost like, because so little of Riku could be dredged up in this realm, Sora was lending his own memories to him. And so, Riku fended off Sora's demons, even without Sora present to receive Riku's protection.
Still, it felt a little like Riku was helping him. He hoped he was.
He wished... he...
He thought Sora might be in here, somewhere. He had to find him. Had to reach the top of this time-addled tower and confront its callous ruler, whoever they were. Along the way, Riku would slay all the Heartless that crossed his path, clearing the path for Sora.
If he had to use his own darkness to defeat them, then so be it. He couldn't grow used to that hot, itchy sensation, as the power surged through his veins and seized his heart. But he cleared rooms and toppled bosses with it, and it didn't linger in him like it had the day he'd first heard Ansem coming to life inside of him.
The darkness would dissipate when Riku was done with it... as if he truly could harness it.
Still, the sensation turned his stomach.
But it was fine. He would defeat all of the Heartless first, would clear this castle of its monsters. And then, if he was still left standing...
he would do what had to be done.
Wield the powers of both light and dark..!
That girl's words echoed through Riku's mind as he stood on the crumbling memory of the island he had grown up on. All it had taken was one push from Riku to cause Zexion to flee, but when Riku blinked, he could still make out afterimages of Sora's visage.
That cloaked fool had worn Sora's face like a mask. Riku shook himself, trying to ward the image away. But still—even if it had been Zexion saying those words, and not Sora... wasn't there some truth to them?
Riku gazed out over what had become of Destiny Islands. Most of the sandy terrain had fallen away, scorched by lightning or lashed away by wind-blown waves. The sky was a bruised purple, rough with thick black clouds. A faint, misty rain chilled his skin.
Had Riku let the darkness in? Had it truly been all his fault?
...Hurting Sora had been his own doing. He'd clung so blindly to his desire to rescue Kairi that he hadn't been thinking about Sora's own heart.
And he had been so jealous—of all those friends Sora had made so soon after they lost their home—all those people Sora paid attention to—but he wouldn't listen to Riku—he hardly paid Riku any—
Riku clutched his head in his hands. His heart thundered in his chest.
He breathed in and out, in and out. Slowly, his hands stopped quivering.
He wasn't sure how he was supposed to use both the light and the dark. The dark seemed pretty good at snuffing out the light. And Riku was so... so full of it.
Sora hadn't said all those accusations to Riku, no, but Riku still welled with the shame of what he'd done.
How could he make amends? Was it even possible?
Riku gazed into a perfect replica of his own eyes as he sent down his sword, stabbing it through.
The replica's body wasn't real, but it let out a sound like it was as Riku pierced it.
Riku let the body drop from his sword.
Only when it began to fade did Riku feel the immutability of his actions.
This puppet of the cloaked men—this mockery of Riku himself—was now dying. And as it died, it cried out like any living soul would, desperate for a sense of purpose now that it stared into the void.
Perhaps it was going somewhere. Perhaps, one day, Riku would see it again.
But now, it had faded, like it had never truly existed in the first place.
A chill ran down Riku's spine.
He crouched down by where the replica had lain. Even the ground was cold, as if it had never rested there.
Riku bowed his head and kept a period of silence for the fallen life.
Then he stood, holding up his sword, and moved on.
The replica had forced Riku to truly look at himself.
His body, for one.
He didn't want to share it with Ansem any longer. He wanted it to be his.
His heart, for another.
The moment he finally saw the King—flesh and all—he'd collapsed to his knees, dizzy with relief. A real person. A real, living person in this cold shadow of Riku's (Sora's?) memories.
When he'd hugged the King, the mouse had let him.
He'd even said, “You can call me Mickey. Really.”
Mickey.
A real friend. A believer in Riku. Perhaps Riku's only.
Riku tried to hold that memory to his forefront when he finally confronted Ansem in all of his monstrosity.
Riku remembered what the King—Mickey—had told him.
You can call to both. If you can wield the dark, if it listens to you, I don't see why you shouldn't be allowed to use it.
Afraid, Riku had asked, But what if it destroys the good in me? What if it takes everything away?
Mickey had looked at him with a twinkle in his eye. I've learned something from my observations of you, Riku. When the dark and the light come together—one doesn't defeat the other. I think they create something new. And that something: that's you.
Riku thrummed with energy.
Both. He would use both.
Ansem would not have a hold on him any longer.
“You've been conquered by me before,” Ansem droned, his tone low with a simmering cruelty. “You should know what sort of power you face.”
A chill went down Riku's spine. But he knew Ansem well. A little too well, in fact.
“Oh, I do.”
A smirk stole across Riku's face.
“I used all the power you had to give and still lost to Sora. I'm not impressed.”
If even Sora could defeat Ansem... then of course Riku could, too.
To get here, Riku had defeated all of Sora's enemies, too. He could practically feel Sora's heart overlaid with his.
Riku leaned on his memories of Sora—his warmth, his exuberance, his strength. He thought, just on the edges of his vision, Riku could see him.
Sora...
He was so close.
Riku let the darkness billow around him as he clutched the warmth of Sora's light. It anchored him, steadied him.
The smile tugged across his face. He knew where he needed to go. Ansem was just another obstacle. Nothing more.
“Oh, Riku...”
A girl with blonde hair and a white shift sat down beside him.
Their backs were to the cold glass of Sora's pod, wherein he floated, unaware of how close his friends were to him. Blissfully unaware of the outside world.
...like a goldfish in a bowl.
The girl's name was Namine. Riku had assumed she was Kairi when he'd heard her call out to his heart, but that wasn't the case. Or—it wasn't the full picture. Riku could tell Namine had a connection to Kairi, but he hadn't figured out how they fit together yet.
She had a kind face, but her eyes were deep with sorrow. It disturbed Riku, how much he related to the feeling in her expression.
Quietly, Namine said, “I am sorry. I have caused you and Sora so much trouble.”
Riku shook his head. His smile felt shaky, jagged. “Sora and I do that enough to ourselves. And that wasn't your fault, right? It was those guys in the cloaks.”
Namine shrugged, unconvinced.
Riku opened, then shut his mouth. Then reopened it again.
“I know how it feels to be a conduit of the darkness. I-I keep blaming myself, for what happened.” He let his back thump against Sora's pod. Namine's gaze flicked from Riku to the boy sleeping within the glass pod. “And of course it was my fault—but, maybe it wasn't just my fault. Other people with much more malicious intentions—they used me. I just... didn't know any better.”
Namine wrapped her arms around her legs. Her shoulders slumped. “But I knew what they were doing was bad. I'm just too weak to stop them.”
Riku tried at another smile. “Well. You're not alone now. I'm pretty strong, yeah?”
Namine burst into a surprised laugh.
Riku's heart warmed.
He didn't know if a lot of people liked him. Sora did, and Kairi did—but the other kids just tried to stay out of his way, Riku thought. He knew he wasn't easy to get along with. He was strong, and he liked to fight. Sora was willing to wrestle with him on the sand, and even Kairi would tie up her hair and tussle on occasion, but they all knew Riku hit the hardest.
He peeked at Namine, then shied away.
Namine said, “You're not going to forget, are you.”
“No.”
Riku stared at the far wall. His smile started slipping. His heart squeezed.
“Look at him. He's just lying there, sleeping. First the raft, then Kairi, and now this... He always leaves everything to me.”
He said it like he's trying to make fun of Sora, but Riku's heart threatened to shatter. He only had to glance back up at Sora to feel the chills overcome him. Sora, alone again, and defenseless.
Sora needed him. Riku had to make amends.
Carefully, Riku stood. He held out a hand to Namine. After a moment of puzzlement, she accepted, letting Riku pull her to her feet.
Riku held on for a moment longer than he needed to. He didn't know the next time he'd see another person.
He said, “Look after him."
Namine gave him a fierce nod.
Something in Riku's chest withered as he let go.
It wasn't the twilight that Riku faced as he set out from Castle Oblivion.
Though they looked the same, the sun hanging low in the sky, the clouds shaded with dusk, he knew the difference.
Because it was the sun pulling forth from behind the clouds, chasing away the last shadows. It was the light lapping at his toes and warming his skin.
It was the dawn that Riku strode toward, with his sword in hand and Mickey at his side.