Chapter Text
On slow days, Julian lets Luke hang around the front desk of with him.
The first time, he'd made a show of working out before hovering around the water fountain near the front desk like he's a man who just escaped the desert. When Julian only side-eyed him but didn't kick him out, Luke got bolder. He gave up on the pretense of being the thirstiest man in Schenectady and shamelessly loitered at the desk. He'd lean back against the counter with his elbows and mutter snide comments to Julian about the few customers walking past the desk. But no matter what he said, Julian remained stone-faced, without a single twitch to his lips nor any glimmer in his eyes.
One day, Luke will find the perfect words to make Julian smile.
He'd never met anyone who is immune to his smile. It's both curiously exhilarating and also frustratingly maddening.
He'd never met anyone like Julian before. People would either flirt back or they'd tell him to scram, usually by words and sometimes by fists.
But not Julian.
Julian doesn't take him to bed, and he doesn't tell him to go.
Julian just looks at him with those soulful eyes. Luke can tell there's a whole monologue behind them, but he can't see through the curtains. Not yet, at least. He keeps pushing and pushing, until he falls through the curtains and see what's hidden behind. Or be told to get out.
Today, Luke is pushing the boundaries again.
Instead of standing in front of the counter, he'd slipped behind it to where Julian sits on the stool. Julian didn't even blink when Luke slides up right next to him until their arm is almost, but not quite touching. Smiling like a dog who stole a piece of steak off the table, Luke leans forward to rest his chin on his palm.
He's itching for a smoke, but that's one rule Julian had set early on when Luke started hanging around him. No smoking inside the gym.
Usually, Luke would bristle at rules, but for some reason he'd wanted to be good for Julian.
Luke had never been good. Not for his mom. Not for the guys at the carnival. Not even for Ro.
Luke does as he pleased, and he likes it that way.
Until Julian.
There's just something about him that makes Luke want to sit at Julian's heels with his head in Julian's lap or to drape over Julian's back with his arms wrapped around his shoulders. If Julian would let him, he'd watch the passersby with the smugness of a possessive cat posturing at visitors. That's right, bet you wish you're me, to be allowed this close. his smirk would say. But he's mine.
If only.
For now, he settles for leaning as close as he dares to Julian's ear and, pointing a finger at the man who had been not-subtly glancing at the pretty brown-haired woman the whole afternoon, he whispers, "Think he'd go home with her?"
Julian's eyes flickers toward Luke but doesn't deign to answer.
Damn. Luke thought he could get a reaction this time.
Before he can come up with a follow-up to see if that'll push Julian over the edge, the woman walks up to the front desk to return her rented racquets.
From the corner of his eyes, he watches Julian return her ID and check her off in the rentals binder. He glances at the woman and catches her watching him. Their eyes meet and her whole face flushes pink.
Images from his dream the night before flash across his mind. Short and neatly kept brown hair above him. Dark soulful blue eyes piercing through him, pinning him to the pillow. The lightest dust of pink under dark smudges of unrest.
For days he'd been mocked by dreams of temptations he can't have in real life. So when he sees the imitation in front of him, Luke can't help himself.
He winks at the woman, who squeaks and makes a hasty retreat. Even if it means nothing and amounts to nothing, the attention and reaction still sends a thrill through him. He smirks and turns to Julian to see if he saw his triumph.
"Get out."
Luke's smile drops.
"What-" Luke starts.
"Get. Out."
Julian's voice is deadly calm and colder than a dead rat under a bed of snow. Luke closes his mouth so hard that his teeth clink.
The floor feels unsteady under him. He doesn't understand. They're just hanging out, aren't they?
It's like when he's a kid again, and no matter what he did, his mom would never be happy. He never knew what he did wrong, all he knew was that he was wrong.
Just like your fuck-up deadbeat father, ruining my fucking life.
Eventually, everyone else thought he was wrong too, and he went to where all the wrong people go. Even once he got out, he couldn't do anything right, except ride a bike. He couldn't even be there for his son.
Then he met Julian. And for once things are going right. He could provide for his son. He could buy his son anything he wanted.
He could be more than a fuck-up deadbeat dad.
And it's all thanks to Julian for giving him a chance with the runner job. For continuing to give him chances. For seeing maybe, just maybe, he could do something right.
He's the first person to look at Luke and see a man.
Luke wants Julian to keep looking at him. He wants to keep being a man.
And he wants to look into Julian's eyes and learn to decipher him. To know what makes him tick and what makes him smile. He wants to see the man inside Julian too.
Well, Julian is looking at him now.
And the emotions behind those soulful eyes. Luke can read it crystal clear.
The disgust and disappointment that Luke has seen all too often from his mom, from Robin, from Ro, from everyone else.
He should've known it was just a matter of time before Julian looks at him in the same way too.
Once a fuck-up, always a fuck-up.
Luke gets out.