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Chloe leaned back in her collapsable chair and stared up into the violet sky. She was surrounded on all sides by soaring fir trees. She felt her breath hitch as she took in the vastness of the blanket of stars that she could see through a break in the towering giants. It was hot, as one would expect in early summer. But it wasn’t unpleasant, especially to a Florida raised, Georgia residing girl. She knew if she was out like this in either of those states, she would have already been carried away by mosquitos. She also was surprised by the silence. She could hear the songs of nature all around her, but there were no cars or loud college students or blaring televisions or overworked AC units. She could hear the wind blowing through the trees. A faint rushing of a stream not too far away. And a crackling of a campfire off to her left.
She took a moment to glance to her camping companion and couldn't help but smile. Beca looked so peaceful sitting in her chair. She loosely held a can of beer in one hand and tapped a silent melody on her knee with the other. Her chocolate hair was pulled up in a bun on the top of her head. She wore a loose navy t-shirt with a wide neckline and tiny denim shorts. She had kicked off her hiking sandals and now had her bare feet crossed at the ankles and propped up on a cooler. She looked so beautiful and calm and … relaxed. This was not a look that was common as of late for Beca. For the last year, it seemed like she had been running from one fiasco to another. Trying to save the Bellas by winning the World Championship. Juggling an internship and a full class schedule and rehearsals, Dealing with personal drama from every side. But now all of that was behind her. She had graduated. The Bellas had survived. And now she could take a breath.
“I can hear you staring, weirdo,” Beca spoke suddenly without lifting her gaze from the fire in front of her.
Chloe giggled. “I like this look on you.”
“What look?”
“This…” Chloe gestured at the loose-limbed display in front of her. “This relaxed, weight off your shoulders Beca. It looks good.”
Beca chuckled. “It’s easier when Amy is across the country.”
After graduation, Beca had decided to go back to Portland, Oregon to spend a couple of weeks with her mom before she moved on to … whatever she was doing next. When the Bellas were in Amsterdam, Beca pulled Chloe aside one of their last nights and asked if the redhead might want to come with her for part or all of the trip. Chloe beamed and grabbed Beca in a tight embrace. Of course she wanted to come. The two women had become as close as could be over the last four years, but Chloe had never been to Portland with Beca. The trip was such a hassle that it was hard to pull off except at Christmas or during the summer. Chloe often was visiting her family in Tampa when Beca flew cross-country, so they had never been able to work this trip out. Beca had been to Tampa with Chloe several times, since it was a drive that could be easily made in a weekend or during a break or during the semester. The finally graduated super-senior wanted to spend as much time as she could with her best friend before they went their separate ways: Beca to New York and Chloe back to Tampa. Thinking about their inevitable separation was too painful for Chloe, so she decided to just enjoy this trip as much as possible - discovering all of the things that contributed to making Beca into who she was today.
The ladies had spent several days crashing, trying to catch up on the sleep they couldn’t afford during the last month of school. Chloe spent almost an entire afternoon looking through every photo album and yearbook that Beca’s mom could produce. She watched little Beca performing on stage on old videotapes. Beca took her to her old stomping grounds: the mall, her high school, the record store, her favorite coffee house. But the highlight of the trip was this weekend camping trip to Mount Hood National Forest.
When Beca first told Chloe about wanting to go camping, the redhead was stunned. She had never observed Beca to be an outdoorsy type of person. In fact, the only time she remembered being with Beca in an outdoors setting was during the infamous team-building weekend with Aubrey. And Beca pretty much bitched the entire time. The little music lover hated exercise, rarely went outside if possible, and never even one time took advantage of the many hiking opportunities all around Barden. So Chloe figured that this must be some special part of Beca she had kept hidden for four years.
They had gotten to the forest and hiked some. They took in the incredible view of Mount Hood. Chloe had taken more pictures than she knew what to do with of the mountain, the forest, the wildlife, the flowers, the water, and Beca. Tons of pictures of Beca. And a good collection of solo and duo selfies as well. Then they set up camp, cooking a tasty dinner of hot dogs and s’mores. Now they were sitting around the fire - well contained and maintained by Beca (who knew EVERY rule regarding outdoor fire safety.) With how natural Beca looked in this environment, Chloe just HAD to know what was going on.
“Ok, Becs,” she began with a sparkle in her eye and a smirk on her lips. “I have to know. How did you become this … big outdoorsy person? You hate camping AND the outdoors.”
Beca looked up and laughed. “Who says I hate camping or the outdoors?”
“Uh, everything I’ve known about you for four years,” Chloe countered.
“Have you ever heard me say that?” Beca asked with raised eyebrows.
“I guess it was more of an … actions speak louder than words type thing.”
Beca rolled her eyes. “I happen to love the outdoors.”
“I feel like everything I know must now be questioned,” Chloe replied with feigned shock on her face.
“I don’t know why this is so surprising.”
“Because, Beca,” the redhead gasped. “In the four year I have known you, you have NEVER even one time gone hiking. OR gone camping. OR gone outside for anything other than walking to class.” Beca started to speak, but Chloe waved her quiet. “EXCEPT for the weekend with Aubrey, which you bitched about the whole time.”
Beca laughed loudly at the memory. “OK, first of all. There is a big difference between being outdoors in Portland and being outdoors in Satan’s butthole, AKA the swamps of Georgia. Am I right?”
“You’ve got a point there,” Chloe conceded.
“Second, there is also a big difference between THIS forest…” Beca spread her arms, gesturing at the panorama around them. “And the pathetic forests around Barden.”
“Another fair point,” Chloe nodded.
“And when it came to Aubrey’s weekend,” Beca paused before taking a deep breath. “That was just a weird time for me. I was trying to keep the whole stupid annoying internship quiet, although now I don’t really know why.” Chloe pursed her lips and shrugged before grinning. “I was attempting to come up with a set list for World’s. I kept trying to figure out my … future … and where I should go next. There was the whole … Jesse thing …” Chloe grimaced when that name came up, hoping Beca didn’t notice. “And … there were a lot of … other things … I just wasn't in a great place. And Aubrey always makes everything so much worse.”
“Hey!” Chloe swatted at Beca, but couldn't quite reach her arm. Beca cackled in response. They sat silently, processing Beca’s uncharacteristic verbosity. “So why is this place so special?”
Beca took a deep breath and looked up into the sky. “I had to go on a school trip here back in middle school. Part of me definitely didn’t want to go. But a part of me was … just really happy … to get away from … all the noise. My parents were fighting more and more. This was less than a year before Dad bolted with Sheila. It was so stressful to be home. Then we got here … and I just was shocked. It was so beautiful and peaceful. The silence was soothing - even with dozens of annoying middle school monsters running around. I found myself decompressing and relaxing for the first time in … years.” Chloe’s eyes glistened as she listened to the story. She hated what Beca had gone through; picturing little Beca in such a chaotic home always pained the redhead. “After that, I tried to come here at least once a year. At first, I would try to drag my mom. She hated the outdoors with a passion, though. So I would convince a friend to bring me along with their family. Once I could drive, I would come here on my own every summer - and sometimes later when it was snowy. Every summer in college, too, I would come here for a weekend. It's been my safe space. My place to just … be.”
“That’s really beautiful … and heartbreaking, Becs,” Chloe whispered. “I really appreciate you bringing me here.”
Beca swallowed deeply and nodded. She took a shuddering breath. “After I was able to drive, I’ve always made this trip by myself. I’ve never brought anyone here with me.”
Chloe blinked in surprise, taken aback by the confession. “You could have come alone. I could have stayed with your mom…”
“No, Chlo,” Beca interrupted. “That isn’t what I meant. I’ve never WANTED to bring anyone here. I never wanted to share this with anyone before.”
“Oh.” Chloe studied the woman next to her. Beca was blushing at her vulnerable announcement. The redhead felt her heart pounding as she drank in the sight in front of her. Chloe knew that she was hopelessly in love with Beca. She kept holding onto small scraps from their interactions, desperately wishing that someday Beca would reciprocate those feelings. But it never happened. There was Jesse. There was rehearsal and school work. There was planning for a future. And before she knew it, four years had gone by. This was their last hurrah, their last time alone together before life pulled them apart. Beca would be off to the big city to wow the world; Chloe would move home with her parents and try to figure out what the hell to do next. They would keep in touch for a while. And they would try, really try, to stay close. But being a country apart would make that too difficult. Chloe knew all of this. She had been trying to bury those thoughts for so long. But here under the stars with Beca being so heartbreakingly beautiful and honest, Chloe couldn’t push them down any more. She felt hot tears running down her cheeks as she continued to gaze at the woman who had stolen her heart, and who didn’t even realize it.
The two sat in their respective chairs, ruminating on things said and unsaid. Opportunities lost. Finally, Beca asked if Chloe was ready to get ready for bed. There wasn’t a whole lot to the “getting ready for bed” since they were in the wilderness. Mostly it involved swapping out pants and shirts and then crawling into the tent. Beca had set up a pallet of sorts for them to sleep on. She had unzipped sleeping bags and laid them flat on top of each other, along with some blankets. It wasn't comfortable, but it was better than laying straight on the ground. They finished their routines and stretched out on the padded ground. Neither said anything for what felt like an hour. Neither fell asleep either. They both stared at the canvas over their heads and got lost in their swirling thoughts.
“I don’t want to lose you, Chlo.”
The words were said so quietly that the redhead could have believed she imagined them or wished them into existence.“I’m sorry, what?” Chloe had to be sure what she had heard.
Beca turned to face her friend. She had tears running down her face. “I don’t want to lose you,” she repeated clearer and louder. “I keep … turning this around in my head … keep trying to figure out how to make this work. How to keep you in my life when we are … so far apart. And I can’t. I just can’t figure it out.” She was crying harder now, and her words were coming out in gasps. “I … I just … I need you Chloe. I need you with me. I’ve known it for a long time, but … I was scared … and I didn’t want to ruin things … but … now it is too late … and … it kills me to think about not having you with me.”
Chloe sat up with wide eyes, stunned and trying to process what she was hearing. Trying to really understand without coloring it with her own feelings. “Becs, what are you saying?”
“Come with me,” Beca sat up, faced Chloe, and pleaded. “Come to New York with me. I … I don’t know how it will all work out. I don’t even have a job, but I have some money saved and … some money from my parents and grandparents that I’ve had set aside … just … I can’t do this without you.”
“You want me to move to New York with you?” Chloe leaned forward and studied Beca and asked, completely gobsmacked.
“Yeah. Yeah I do. More than anything,” Beca nodded. “I … “ She took another deep breath and closed her eyes. “But I need to be honest before you give me answer.”
Chloe frowned and squinted at her friend. “Oh kaaaaay…”
Here goes nothing. “Chloe, I think … I think I may have fallen in love with you at some point … no, I know I have … I’m not just asking you to come because I’m sad to be alone. I am in love with you. And I can’t…”
She never finished what she was saying. Chloe leapt forward and tackled Beca. Chloe then proceeded to pull Beca into an intense kiss. She rubbed her hands up and down on Beca’s back, bunching up her shirt in the process. Beca was startled by what happened before she realized Chloe was kissing her. She then responded. The two women fitted their lips together and passionately kissed, pushing all the feelings they had bottled up inside out into the action. The need for air forced them to separate. Chloe rolled off of Beca and back over to her side of the makeshift bed.
Beca stared wide-eyed at Chloe, who returned the look with a sheepish grin. “What the hell was that?” Beca gasped.
“Well, what did you expect me to do?” Chloe whined. “You can’t say stuff like that and expect me to just sit here!”
“But you tackled me!” Beca replied, staring up at the sparkling blue eyes above her. “I landed on a zipper or something. I think you bruised my ass.”
“Do you want me to kiss it better?” Chloe purred in a seductive tone.
Beca seemed to short circuit. She just laid on the ground with her mouth open and her pupils blown, taking deep gulps of air. She finally unfroze. “I mean … that might help.”
Chloe looked at Beca like a predator sizing up its prey. The brunette’s eyes widened. Chloe prowled back over to Beca. She gently pushed the smaller woman onto her back and then crawled on top of her. They were pressed against each other the whole length of their bodies. Beca moved her legs apart, so Chloe could slot between them. They held eye contact and slowly moved together to kiss. This was more gentle, more tender, and less frantic. They laid like that, kissing and breaking apart and kissing, for what seemed like hours. Finally, Beca rolled them so that they were on their sides, close together and facing each other.
“So are we really doing this?” Beca whispered between heavy breaths.
“Which part?” Chloe asked, her eyes twinkling.
“Um … all of it,” Beca answered. “Dating? Moving to New York? All of it.”
“Yes.” Chloe planted a kiss on Beca’s nose. “I want all of it. I want you. I want to kiss you and to date you and to have sex with you…” Beca’s breath hitched, and her face went bright red. Chloe waggled her eyebrows and continued. “… AND move to New York with you.”
“You’re sure?”
“I have never been more sure about anything,” Chloe stated firmly. “Beca, I have been in love with you for almost four years.” The brunette’s eyes widened again at the confession. “I didn’t stand a chance. I always hoped you felt the same, but I couldn’t be sure. And …” the redhead stared to tear up. “I thought I had just missed out. I dreaded going back to Tampa. I didn’t have a job or a plan. Worst of all, though, I wouldn’t have you.”
“Hey, hey,” Beca whispered, clutching Chloe tight to her chest. “You have me. You can have all of it.” She kissed the top of Chloe’s head. “I was scared. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner. I guess … I guess it took actually knowing you were about to … leave … to make me realize just how much I loved you. And I had to … get a backbone … and say something.”
Chloe looked back up to Beca’s face before kissing her again. “It doesn't matter HOW we got here. Just that we finally did.”
“Cool.”
“You’re such a dork,” Chloe laughed.
“Hey!” Beca pushed Chloe back and scowled.
“But you’re my dork,” the redhead said, kissing Beca’s forehead. They continued to embrace, listening to the sounds of nature all around them. After several minutes, Chloe whispered. “Thanks for bringing me to your special place.”
“Well,” Beca nervously began. “I kind of hoped that it could now be … OUR … special place.” She glanced at Chloe’s face to gauge her reaction. “Is that dumb?”
“Not at all.” The redhead beamed. “I love that. Can we try to come here like every year or something?”
“Yeah,” Beca nodded. “I’d like that.”
“Cool,” Chloe whispered with a sneaky grin. Then her eyes turned predatory again. “Now, I believe I was supposed to see about kissing your bruise better…”