Chapter Text
Noelle had known Kris for as long as she could remember. Before high school, before awkward conversations in hallways, before homework and exams and everything else that seemed to make growing up so complicated, there had simply been the two of them—two kids who had somehow ended up becoming inseparable. Their parents used to joke that if they couldn't find one of them, they only had to look for the other.
Noelle still remembered those days fondly. She remembered sitting beside Kris on the playground when they were little, sharing snacks even when neither of them had enough to share. She remembered getting scared during thunderstorms and hiding behind Kris because, for some reason, she had always believed Kris could protect her from anything. Kris had never promised that they could. Noelle had simply believed it. Years later, she still did.
“Kris, wait!” Noelle hurried down the hallway after them, nearly dropping the books she was carrying. Kris stopped and looked over their shoulder.
“You walk way too fast,” Noelle complained as she caught up. “I've told you that so many times, and you still never slow down for me.”
Kris gave her a mischievous smile.
“You're doing that on purpose, aren't you?”
They shrugged.
Noelle narrowed her eyes. “You are.”
Kris continued walking. Noelle followed. “You know, we've been friends since we were little, so I think I'm allowed to complain about your terrible walking habits.”
Kris glanced at her.
Noelle smiled. “And don't think I'm going to stop following you just because you refuse to wait.”
Kris shrugged again.
“You'd probably get lost without me anyway,” Noelle added.
Kris stopped. They slowly turned around.
Noelle immediately realized what she had said. “I- I didn't mean that literally!”
Kris raised an eyebrow.
“I just meant that you know this school better than I do, and sometimes I forget where everything is, and-”
Kris started laughing.
Noelle's face turned bright red. “Don't laugh at me!”
They laughed harder.
“You're awful.”
Kris reached over and lightly tapped the top of her head.
Noelle became quiet. She looked at them. For a moment, the hallway seemed strangely silent.
That was something Kris did without realizing it. They could make her forget everything else around her.
Noelle looked down, trying to hide her smile. “...You know, I really like when you do that.”
Kris tilted their head.
Noelle immediately became nervous. “I mean- when you pat my head! Not that there's anything wrong with that, obviously, but I just...”
She stopped herself.
“Never mind.”
Kris continued walking. Noelle followed, her heart beating much faster than it should have been.
After school, the two of them sat beneath the old tree behind the school. It had become their usual spot years ago. When they were younger, they used to sit there and make up ridiculous stories about the clouds. Now they mostly talked about school, friends, games, and whatever else happened to be on their minds.
Noelle opened her lunch. “I brought extra”
Kris looked at her food.
“You want some?”
They nodded.
“You always do..”
She handed them part of her sandwich. Kris took it.
Noelle smiled. “You know, my mom used to say I should stop giving you half of everything I have…”
Kris looked at her.
“She said you'd start expecting me to feed you”
Kris shrugged.
Noelle giggled. “But I guess it never happened.”
She paused, picking at the edge of her sleeve.
“Actually, I don't mind.”
Kris looked at her curiously.
“I don't know. I just... like taking care of you.”
Kris smiled.
Noelle's heart fluttered. She looked away. “Don't look at me like that.”
Kris raised an eyebrow.
“You know what I mean.”
They shook their head.
“You're pretending you don't.”
Kris grinned.
Noelle smiled despite herself.
She loved this. She loved how comfortable they were together. She loved that they could tease each other without worrying about hurting one another. She loved that Kris knew things about her that nobody else did.
And that was exactly what frightened her.
Because lately, her feelings had become harder to ignore.
Kris wasn't just her childhood friend anymore. They were the person she wanted to tell everything to. The first person she wanted to see when she woke up. The person she looked for in every crowded room. The person whose messages she checked over and over again when they didn't respond.
She knew she could become emotionally overwhelmed sometimes, and she knew her feelings could become intense very quickly. Sometimes she hated how strongly she could feel things. A few days without seeing Kris could feel unbearable. A short message could make her think they were angry. A long silence could make her wonder whether she'd done something wrong.
She knew those thoughts weren't always reasonable.
That didn't make them feel any less real.
“Kris?”
They looked at her.
Noelle hesitated. “Can I ask you something?”
Kris nodded.
“Do you think we'll always be friends?”
Kris stared at her for a moment.
Noelle nervously laughed. “Sorry. That's probably a strange question.”
Kris shook their head.
“I just mean... we've known each other for so long.” She looked at the grass. “We were kids together. You were there when I learned how to ride a bike. You were there when I got scared during thunderstorms. You were there when I started school, and when I had my first really awful day, and when I thought nobody wanted to be around me.”
She smiled faintly.
“You've always been there.”
Kris quietly nodded.
Noelle's fingers tightened around her sleeve. “And I'm scared that someday you won't be.”
Kris's expression changed.
Noelle quickly continued. “Not because you've done anything wrong. You haven't. It's just... people change when they grow up. They meet new people. They make new friends. Sometimes they stop talking.”
Her voice became quieter.
“I don't want that to happen to us.”
Kris reached over and took her hand.
Noelle froze.
They squeezed it gently.
She stared at their hands.
“Kris...”
They looked at her.
“Do you really mean that?”
Kris nodded.
Noelle's eyes became watery. She smiled anyway. “You're sure?”
Another nod.
“You won't just say it because you know I'm worried?”
Kris shook their head.
Noelle laughed softly. “Okay.” She squeezed their hand back. “I believe you.”
For a while, neither of them said anything. Noelle rested her head against Kris's shoulder.
“I think I've been scared of losing you for a long time.”
Kris looked down at her.
Noelle closed her eyes. “But I don't think I've ever told you just how much I care about you.”
Kris gently leaned their head against hers.
Noelle smiled.
She didn't know whether Kris felt the same way she did. She didn't know whether their affection was friendship or something more. She didn't know what the future would bring.
But for the moment, Kris was beside her.
Just like they had been when they were children.
And Noelle found herself wishing, with a desperation she didn't quite understand yet, that it could stay that way forever.
As the weeks passed, Noelle began to notice something about herself that she wasn't entirely comfortable admitting. She had started organizing her days around Kris.
It wasn't something she had consciously decided to do. There had been no particular morning when she woke up and thought, From now on, Kris is going to be the center of everything I do. It happened gradually, almost naturally, until she realized that she had begun checking whether Kris was at school before she even took off her coat.
If Kris was already there, Noelle's day felt easier. If they weren't, she immediately wondered where they were.
That morning, she stood outside the classroom with her backpack held tightly against her chest, looking down the hallway for what felt like the tenth time.
Kris should be here by now.
She checked the time. Then she checked it again.
“They're probably just running late,” she whispered to herself.
A few minutes passed. Noelle tried to focus on the conversation happening around her, but she couldn't. Every sound in the hallway made her look up, expecting to see Kris walking toward her.
Then, finally, she saw them.
Her entire expression changed.
“Kris!”
They looked over.
Noelle hurried toward them, visibly relieved. “I was wondering where you were. You weren't answering your messages, and I thought maybe something happened, but then I figured you were probably just asleep or something, and then I started thinking that maybe you had already gone inside, so I-”
Kris stared at her.
Noelle stopped.
“Sorry.”
Kris shook their head.
Noelle smiled nervously. “I just missed you.”
Kris gave her a small smile.
Noelle immediately felt calmer. That was becoming a pattern.
Whenever she felt overwhelmed, Kris seemed to be the person who could make the feeling disappear.
And Noelle had begun relying on that more than she realized.
At lunch, Noelle automatically sat beside Kris. She didn't even think about it anymore. She simply walked over, pulled out the chair next to them, and sat down.
Susie was already there.
“Hey, Noelle,” Susie said.
“Hi!”
Noelle smiled politely before looking toward Kris.
“What are you doing after school?”
Kris shrugged.
Noelle tilted her head. “You don't know?”
They shook their head.
“Well, if you're not doing anything, we could study together again. Or we could go somewhere. Or we could just walk around for a while. I don't really care what we do.”
Kris looked at her.
Susie raised an eyebrow.
“You two hang out every day now?”
Noelle's face became warm. “Not every day.”
Susie looked at Kris.
Kris shrugged.
“Okay, maybe almost every day,” Noelle admitted.
Susie smiled knowingly.
“You guys have been attached at the hip since you were kids.”
Noelle laughed awkwardly. “That's not true.”
Kris nodded.
Noelle looked at them. “You're supposed to defend me..!”
Kris gave her a mischievous grin.
“Traitor.”
Susie laughed.
Noelle laughed too, but there was something about Susie's comment that stayed in the back of her mind.
Attached at the hip. She didn't know why those words bothered her.
Maybe because they were true.
That afternoon, Kris had to stay after school for something.
Noelle stood outside the classroom waiting. She had originally planned to go home, but when Kris mentioned that they would be staying for a while, Noelle immediately changed her plans.
She sat on a bench nearby, scrolling aimlessly through her phone.
Ten minutes.
Twenty.
Thirty.
She checked the classroom door again. Still closed.
She knew she could leave. There was no reason she had to wait.
But the thought of walking home without Kris made her feel strangely empty.
When the door finally opened, Kris stepped outside.
They looked surprised to see her.
Noelle stood.
“There you are!”
Kris looked at the time.
Noelle smiled sheepishly. “I waited..”
Kris raised an eyebrow.
“I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to.”
They started walking. Noelle followed beside them.
After a few minutes, Kris stopped. They pointed toward the road leading toward Noelle's house.
Noelle understood.
“Oh.”
She hesitated.
“You're going home the other way?”
Kris nodded.
Noelle's expression fell before she could hide it.
“Right.”
She looked down.
“Okay.”
Kris watched her.
Noelle forced a smile. “Have a good evening.”
Kris waved.
Noelle waved back.
She watched them walk away.
The moment Kris disappeared around the corner, the strange heaviness returned. Noelle stood there for several seconds.
Then she sighed.
“Get a grip.”
She started walking home. But the entire way, she kept thinking about Kris.
That night, Noelle was lying in bed when her phone lit up.
Kris: home
Noelle smiled immediately. She typed a response.
Noelle: okay good!!
She stared at the screen. Then typed again.
Noelle: did you eat?
Kris responded a few minutes later.
Kris: yeah
Noelle smiled.
Noelle: good :•3 sleep well
There was no response. She waited.
Five minutes.
Ten.
She knew Kris probably wasn't looking at their phone. She knew that. Still, her mind began filling the silence with questions.
Did I bother them?
Was I texting too much?
Maybe they wanted to go to sleep and I kept bothering them.
She placed her phone facedown. Then picked it up again.
Nothing.
Noelle sighed.
She wished she could make herself stop worrying so much. Her feelings could become overwhelming, especially when she was afraid someone important to her might pull away. Sometimes the fear was so strong that knowing she was probably overthinking wasn't enough to make it disappear.
She opened their conversation again. Her thumb hovered over the keyboard. She wanted to send another message.
She didn't.
Instead, she put her phone down and hugged her pillow.
“Tomorrow,” she whispered. “Tomorrow I'll see them…” The thought comforted her.
The next morning, Kris was waiting outside school.
Noelle spotted them immediately. She hurried over.
“You're here!”
Kris nodded.
“I missed you.”
They looked amused.
“You saw me yesterday.”
“I know..!” Noelle smiled.
“But it still felt like forever.”
Kris shook their head.
“You don't understand,” she said, laughing softly. “A whole evening without seeing you is a very long time.”
Kris raised an eyebrow.
Noelle paused.
Then she realized how that sounded.
“Okay, that sounded more dramatic than I meant it to.”
Kris smiled.
Noelle looked away.
“I'm working on it.”
She didn't know if she was. But she wanted to.
Because somewhere in the back of her mind, she understood that caring about Kris and depending on Kris were not necessarily the same thing.
She wanted Kris in her life.
She wanted them beside her.
She wanted to be someone they could rely on, too.
But she didn't want her entire sense of safety to depend on whether Kris was standing beside her.
That frightened her almost as much as losing them did.
Kris gently nudged her shoulder.
Noelle looked over.
They pointed toward the school entrance.
She smiled.
“Yeah. Let's go.”
They walked inside together. Noelle stayed close to Kris, but this time she made herself slow down when they passed a group of classmates, letting herself talk to someone else for a few minutes instead of immediately following Kris.
It was difficult.
It felt unnatural.
But when she looked back, Kris was still there.
Waiting.
And somehow, that made it a little easier to breathe.