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This work could have adult content. If you continue, you have agreed that you are willing to see such content.
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Summary
Nothing could ever get rid of the ache Ilya feels when Shane backs out of his driveway, at the sight of the forced smile on his face Ilya can see through the windshield. He stands on the porch and he plays a sad, desperate game where the only rule is that Ilya lives another life where Shane does not have to go.
But after a little while some of the details make this game impossible. It’s a Tuesday night and Shane is letting Ilya work the knots out of his back, but he’s wearing a Metros shirt. Even after other-life Ilya tears this shirt off, throws it onto the living room floor to get his hands on the smooth warm expanse of his boyfriend’s back, it still feels wrong. The shirt lays crumpled at the edge of Ilya’s fantasy, forcing too many buts: but if Shane were on the Metros he would never be in Ottawa on a Tuesday, but even if he were they wouldn’t be slow and syrupy like Ilya is imagining, but Shane never lets Ilya massage him during the season because the Metros physio told him not to let an amateur mess up his work.
(picture, if you will, a character study where ilya rozanov finds a thousand ways to be with with shane hollander in all the years they are apart)