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Building Steam

Summary:

When Katara’s mother died, she took care of her brother. When they found a boy in an iceberg, she took care of the avatar and his team. When she learned to use her bending to heal, she took care of the world.

Always tending to everyone else is wearisome work with a ceaseless demand, and Katara is just one woman, not an endless wellspring of care. Exhausted by always giving everything she can for everyone around her, Katara longs for fulfillment, and for someone who sees her truly and completely as the woman she is, with all her emotions and griefs and passions and desires. Who might that be? Can she even see herself truly anymore?

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This is my first fanfiction story, and is the first longfic in the series the fluffy vignettes tie in to.

Chapter 1

Summary:

The epilogue wasn't what it seemed. That was just Aang's perspective, "Nightmares & Daydreams" style. Unfortunately, that one small moment shortly after the war ended had longterm repercussions.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Prologue 



The war was over. Had been officially declared over. But it didn’t quite feel real yet. Sure, everyone looked calmer, and they didn’t have to prepare for fighting all the time, and they could enjoy things. But there had been moments like that during the war too. There were days, weeks even, when they had slept in comfortable beds, eaten good food, and didn’t expect to be attacked. And all of those times were experienced knowing that they had to be careful, that it was only a matter of time before they were back fighting for their lives once again. Was it even possible for them to just live as normal civilians after all that happened? The war was still visible, even here in Ba Sing Se, even though Iroh had somehow gotten his tea shop cleaned up and reopened within a week of liberating the city and invited them all to come. It was nice of him. And honestly impressive. Sokka was impressed too, though he showed it in the way that made her consider telling people they weren’t related. “His general work ethic sure is admiral-able!” She could still faintly feel the headache from rolling her eyes as hard as she had. 

Her anxiety wasn’t helped by all the signs that things clearly were not quite okay yet. It wasn’t so much the big things like the looming stacks of abandoned, burnt and crushed hulls of war machines in the streets. The small, subtle cues were the worst. Like how Zuko was there too. She was glad to see her friend again, especially upright again and walking mostly normally, if a bit more slowly and carefully. But if he and Iroh were both here, who was running the Fire Nation? She asked him. He briefly paused in preparation of the tea tray, staring intently at the lid of the tea pot, “Don’t worry about it.” But she couldn’t not worry about it. He was her friend. And the Fire Nation had a whole century of history of making a lot of problems for the rest of the world when their leadership was having a problem. “Katara, please, don’t worry about it. Just.. let me do this, okay? This was my job when Uncle and I were living here. It’s consistent, physical work I can shut my thoughts off and do.” That was something she understood, although for her it was bending that helped her feel clearer for a moment. He brought her a flower along with the cup of tea, and apologized for being distant, mumbling that he was just a bit sore and figuring things out. Ty Lee saw her holding the flower and bounded over to affix it in her hair and jabber about how pretty it looked and they should have a girls’ night. The compliment felt nice, but the older girl’s energy was a bit too overwhelming. Fortunately, it wasn’t long before Ty Lee rejoined Suki for conversation, and Katara could walk around the room to release the jitters she felt.

Katara couldn’t shake the feeling that she needed to stay alert, not fully relax, keep smiling to keep up appearances until she figured out who was the enemy, and keep looking over her shoulder for whatever bad thing is going to appear there. Because the good is always temporary. And the longer things were calm and good, the more tense she felt, like waiting for the tsunami to hit after seeing the sea suddenly retreat.


She kept telling herself: the war is over, so today will be a good day.
                                                                                                                       

And like the tide, her thoughts kept returning with the reply: what about tomorrow?


It seems Sokka was feeling similarly. “I wanted to do a painting so we always remember the good times together.”
As sweet as Sokka’s sentiment was, his drawing skills were truly terrible, but the comic opportunity was as relieving as it was bonding for the group of unexpected friends and allies. Everyone started laughing when Toph quipped that it looked perfect. Everyone except for Aang, the person who was usually quickest to find laughter at any moment. Now that Katara thought about it, he hadn’t made any remark about Sokka’s depiction being wrong when everyone else had taken their turn at mock-offense. Where was Aang?

She looked around the Jasmine Dragon. It was as airbender-free as the rest of the world. Her eyes caught a flutter of yellow on the balcony, passing Appa. It wouldn’t have been so strange if Aang were interacting with the sky bison, but he usually enjoyed being part of the group. Feeling concerned, she departed from the laughter and followed the young avatar out across the stone striped by the shadows of the railing. She joined him at the rail with a quiet, “Hey, Aang,” and he turned to face her. He seemed content enough, but utterly exhausted of energy. Understandable, given the massive battle he’d gone through, but it was still a bit disconcerting to see her friend so quiet and grounded. He was staring at her with the same smiling faraway look he’d had when he was too anxious to sleep before the day of the comet. Her brow furrowed in concern, and she laid a hand gently on his shoulder. “It’s weird, isn’t it? Not having to fight now?” He didn’t answer, but his smile grew. She hugged him, and he wrapped his arms around her in return. Everyone knew him as the avatar and most just saw his bending power. He was the only one who could’ve defeated Ozai at his most powerful and save the world as he did, but in moments like this, it was hard to forget he really was just a little kid, needing gentle love and support. “You know, we’re all here for you, however you need. Even if we’re not fighting a war together anymore, you’re still my friend. I’ll always be there for you. Always and forever.” No verbal answer, but his arms loosened. She pulled back, and grabbed his hand, pulling him back inside. 

He followed agreeably, whispering, “Forever, girl..” in a distant tone.

She glanced over and he still looked a bit dopey. She squeezed his hand reassuringly, “Yes. Forever, and ever.” Maybe Iroh could give him a more relaxing tea, so he could get a full night of restful sleep.

§

Aang slept soundly, and when he woke up the next day with sunlight fully shining across his face, his smile beamed just as brightly. When he entered the main room, practically skipping, Toph was sulking at the table, leaning on her arms and glaring into space.
               “Hey, Toph! Where is everyone?”

               “Hey, Twinkletoes. The old man’s in the back. Zuko’s helping him somehow or other. And EVERYBODY ELSE left. Snoozles really wanted to take Suki on a special date, so Madam Grouchy and her circus clown took her off to do girly makeup stuff while the incredible water duo decided to plan out a place for the date, and they went to some fancy art museum they heard about. With PAINTINGS! We’re in the capital city of the Earth Kingdom! They could have gone somewhere with STATUES, but noooooo! They just really wanted to stare at paper on walls!” Having lifted her head long enough to toss her hands in the air with emphasis, she flumped fuming back onto the table.

Aang looked thoughtful, contemplating silently as he settled into a seat. Zuko slowly approached from the doorway, carrying a tray of peace offering for the disgruntled earth bender. “I brought tea.” The cup rattled slightly as he set the tray down, swiftly arranging the tea service with well-practiced motions. Having filled the cup, he loitered at the end of the table, at first drumming his fingers against his thigh, then awkwardly scratching.

Toph accepted the cup and sipped noisily. “You sound like you have fleas. What’s your problem?”

               “Uhm, I was wanting to ask you something.”

               “Okay?”

               “Toph.. you’re a girl.”

Her teacup thunked onto the table. “You seriously just noticed?”

               “No! No, I knew already. I just wanted some advice from you.”

She smirked and leaned back, arms folded behind her head, as Zuko refilled her cup. “Well, I’m always down to share my advice, but I’m 12 and blind, and you can’t learn earthbending, so I don’t really see what you would need from me.”

Zuko held the emptied tray against his front, idly rubbing his lightning scar through his clothes with one thumb. “Yeah, but you’re also a Beifong, so you know etiquette.”

               “And you’re part of the royal court, so you should know etiquette too.”

               “Yeah, but you’re a girl. You know, like, girl etiquette.”

Toph sat back up, gesturing to herself. “Am I not the only blind one here? I’m not exactly girly. If you’ve got a question, just ask it! Quit dancing around.”

Zuko let out a long breath. “Would it be bad to take a girl on a first date to a place you’ve already gone on a date with someone else?”

For a brief second, Toph looked so flabbergasted she could be knocked over, then planted herself with uproarious laughter, “Were you never allowed around noble girls? Yeah, no, that’s terrible! Definitely do not do that, unless your goal is to make her mad when she finds out. Unless it's some traditional thing, or you're only allowed to go to the same few places for first dates because of the chaperones. But if you can take her anywhere and it's not some place where people expect first dates to go anyway, and you choose to take her a place you were with an ex? There'll be a bunch of backhanded compliments and passive aggressive talk whenever the girls see each other, and she'll be mad at you for making her feel like she's not special.”

               “Right, right, didn’t think so. I just.. Aang, are you okay?”

The young avatar was still sitting there staring off into space smiling dreamily, but jerked to attention at his name. “Hmm?”

Toph faced towards him as well. “Yeah, what’s with you today? You’re somehow extra airy and excited.”

Aang’s cheeks turned pink. “Oh, um, well, Katara is, I mean.. um, she, well, we..,” he ducked his head, blushing more fiercely, “We kissed. We’re together now.”

Toph slapped the table, “Well, alright, Twinkletoes! You saved the world and got the girl. I didn’t know she felt that way, but congrats.”

Zuko just blinked and said, “Oh, nice.” Toph quirked her head towards him just slightly, a flash of something unreadable but slightly curious on her face, but she didn’t react as he cleared his throat. “I’d better take all this back in to Uncle Iroh.” He gathered the empty cup and teapot onto the tray and took them from the room.

Iroh’s voice echoed from the kitchen. “Oh! I was wondering how that pot had grown legs and wandered off!”

Notes:

The person who said they'd be a beta reader for me hasn't replied to my message yet, and I had originally wanted to post it at the end of Zutara Week. So it gets posted without feedback. Hopefully it's cohesive. If people feel strongly about some part of it, they can leave a comment.

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