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There was, as always, too much to process. She’d been stuck in limbo for months, with nothing to do but read whatever books she could get her hands on, look out the window and watch old Earth shows with James. In the last week, she’d escaped a burning planet, chased a robot through the Mars archive, found a few old friends, reunited with one man she had complicated feelings towards, and very nearly lost another. Now her ship had a body, and that body was sitting in her chair.
‘Commander. What can I do for you?’
‘You’re in my spot.’ The words left her mouth before her brain could catch up. What a stupid, childish thing to say. The galaxy was at war, everyone she loved was in danger, and here she was, whining about a chair.
‘This is the co-pilot’s seat. I am the closest thing this ship has to a co-pilot.’ EDI replied, matter-of-factly. And correctly.
‘Right. Yeah. You’re right. It’s fine.’
‘If you wish to sit in this room, there are a number of other options.’
‘I know, EDI.’ She gritted her teeth. ‘Nevermind, it doesn’t matter.’
‘It seems to matter to you. Your vitals are elevated, and your body language indicates high tension. I would like to understand why.’
She thought about saying it was a human thing, but it would be a lie. Most humans wouldn't care. A chair was just a chair.
‘It's a Shepard thing,’ Joker said with an easy smile. He’d been uncharacteristically silent so far, watching the conversation play out with curious eyes. ‘She needs anchors.’
Oh. Not something she ever put into words herself. Being known so deeply made her feel off-balance. EDI eyed her with interest.
‘I see. Shepard required familiarity in order to feel secure.’
‘Something like that,’ Shepard grumbled. She never should have come here. She should have gone straight to the main battery. Garrus didn’t ask questions. Garrus just handed her a maintenance kit and sat with her in silence while they cleaned their snipers.
‘Understood,’ EDI said, rising from her seat. ‘Shepard’s mental well-being is important to this mission. If you need me, I will be acquainting myself with the crew.’
‘Be careful,’ Shepard called out as she retreated, a pang of guilt twisting in her gut. ‘They might not be comfortable with...everything yet. Maybe start in engineering?’
‘Thank you, Commander. I will do that.’
Shepard watched the cockpit door close behind EDI and cringed, burying her face in her hands. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to drive her away.’
‘I don’t think you hurt her feelings, if that’s what you’re worried about.’
Shepard spread the fingers over one eye enough to see Joker’s amused smirk and groaned. ‘This isn’t funny.’
‘Definitely not.’ His smirk turned into a grin. Her heart flipped inside her chest. ‘You might as well sit now the chair’s free.’
‘It’s tainted.’
‘Oh, come on.’ He grabbed her wrist and pulled it down. Not strongly, not even firmly. She flopped down onto it reluctantly, her free arm crossed over her chest. ‘We haven’t properly caught up since…’
The air became heavier.
‘Yeah.’
‘The meathead seems nice.’
She laughed despite herself. ‘James? Not who I would have chosen to spend six months with, but he’s grown on me.’
‘I’m sure all the muscles had nothing to do with it.’
She hit him playfully, always so light he could barely feel it. ‘You know I don’t care about that.’
Joker raised an eyebrow. ‘Do I?’
She ignored him. ‘He was there. He was nice to talk to, and didn’t treat me like a criminal. I might have gone crazy without him, to be honest.’
They fell silent for a moment, until Joker spoke up softly. ‘You know we all tried to reach out, right?’
She didn’t look at him. ‘I know. Well, I didn’t know for sure, but I figured you would try. It kept me sane too, the idea that there were messages for me out there. Even if I couldn’t read them.’
‘They didn’t let you read any of them?’
There was something about his tone. She couldn’t put her finger on it. ‘They all got scanned for suspicious activity, then deleted. Alliance policy.’
‘I hope their comms officers enjoyed the vids.’
She barked a laugh and the tension melted, bit by bit. He was still Joker. Her funny, competent, stubborn, ridiculous pilot. Her favourite person in the galaxy. And she was home.