Chapter Text
“You just need a ride to the airport, right, Robert?”
Bob Leckie looked up from where he sat on the ground as he taped yet another box of belongings shut. His father stood in the open doorway of his bedroom, ignoring the complete chaos that was his youngest child’s room. He looked like he always did, old with greying hair and wrinkles and way more exhausted than he should. Leckie gave his head a little shake; he had already blanked and completely forgot what his father had just asked.
“What was that, pop?” he asked as he fumbled with the roll of tape in his hands.
“Your mother wanted to know if you just needed a ride to the airport,” he repeated with a sigh as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his slacks. “You did book your ticket already, right?”
Leckie let out the tiniest of sighs and let his head drop slightly while he focused his eyes on the tape in his hand. A bubble of disappointment formed in his chest but he did his best to push it away. He should be used to this treatment, really; after almost a decade of this and all of a sudden he should dare to expect something different, some kind of coddling?
“Yeah, I just need a ride, dad,” Leckie finally answered quietly as he looked up at his dad and refrained from giving him some smart-ass response that would just go over his head completely. “And mom bought me my ticket over a month ago. I’ve got it all under control-”
“Good, that’s good,” Mr. Leckie said, cutting his son off as he turned to leave the room and disappear down the hall.
Leckie stared at the now empty doorway for a moment with his mouth still hanging open, not sure how he should feel about his dad’s complete lack of compassion or social skills. Sometimes Leckie wondered how in the hell his dad ever managed to get his mom to agree to marry him, let alone have eight children, but then again, his dad wasn’t always so touched in the head. Leckie remembered a time when his dad actually smiled, even hugged him on occasion, dared to get to actually know his own damn kids.
“Stop it,” Leckie told himself as he tossed the roll of tape across the room and watched as it bounced against the wall before it landed harmlessly on top of his bed.
“Robert, what are you doing in here?” his mother asked softly as she poked her head inside of his room, looking concerned.
“Oh, you know, packing up for my foray into post-secondary education,” Leckie said with an easy lopsided grin as he stood up and stretched; he had been sitting down for way too long.
“Alright, you have everything you need right?” his mother asked as she took a step and stood in the same spot her husband had moments before.
“Seems that way,” he mumbled as he ran a hand through his unruly brown curls.
“Well… good,” Mrs. Leckie said with a small smile and a nod. She turned to leave but stopped mid-step and turned around to face her youngest once again. “Oh and your brother and sisters are coming to dinner tonight.”
“What?” Leckie exclaimed in annoyance. “When was this decided?”
It wasn’t like he had some great hatred for his siblings, his oldest siblings had already left the house half way through his childhood and the other ones were no more annoying and pesky than anyone else’s siblings. It was just that when you forced seven fully grown children, two spouses, a boyfriend or girlfriend, and a new bouncy baby brat or two to the mix, dinner went from a peaceful family gathering to something way more taxing on the soul.
“Honey we told you about this a week ago,” his mother said with a small frown on her face.
“No! No one told me!”
“Well it’s not a big deal honey,” she said with a slight wave of her hands. “They just want to see you before you leave for college. It’ll be nice.”
Leckie crossed his arms and did his best to refrain from pouting at the ground like a child.
“Is it just them or is it everyone?”
“If by everyone you mean your siblings along with Josh, Maddie, and George and Eric and Hope, then yes, it’s going to be everyone.”
Leckie refrained from rolling his eyes and settled for a petulant expression that didn’t even faze his mother.
“They’ll be over at seven. Make sure you wash up before that.”
“I swear to all that is horrible and unholy, whoever the hell got jelly all over my iPod is gonna get one swift kick in the shorts!” George Luz screamed as loud as he could as he held his now sticky iPod in his hand.
He watched through narrowed eyes as two tiny but cackling figures ran past his open door and down the stairs. George burst from his room and ran after the two little devils, knowing that it was their jelly-covered fingers that not only smudged his new iPod, but locked him out of the device for sixty minutes.
“Donnie! Joe!” George hollered as he did his best to chase his youngest siblings down the stairs without falling or dropping his iPod. “You two better not plan on sitting anymore today because when I get done with you you’re going to be standing for the rest of-!”
“George!”
George stopped dead in his tracks in the middle of the stairs. The momentum almost had him crashing to the ground and down the rest of the stairs but luckily somehow he managed to keep himself upright and in once piece. Grimacing slightly, he turned around and found his mother walking down the steps behind him with a full basket of laundry balance on her hip, looking stern as usual.
“What are you making such a fuss over?” she asked as she stopped in front of George; even a step above him, she was still shorter than him and George wasn’t a tall guy in the first place. However, her lack of height didn’t in any way diminish the fury she could produce when anyone of her ten children were being too rowdy.
“Donnie and Joe got jelly all over my iPod and locked me out of it for a whole freaking hour!” George exclaimed while he hoped he didn’t sound nearly as whiny as he felt he did. He was a fucking adult for Christ sakes. He wasn’t going to sound like a five year old having a tantrum.
But those little shits keep touching my stuff! George thought to himself.
“Jelly comes off, Georgie,” his mother said exasperatedly. “And I think an hour away from that thing of yours will do you some good.”
“But mom-!”
“Have you finished packing?”
“Yes but are you gonna seriously let them off just because they’re like four-?”
“No I will take care of it and you will finish packing because I know for a fact you haven’t packed any underwear, seeing as I just washed all of it,” his mother said as she gave the laundry basket a shake for emphasis.
“Well, maybe I was planning on going all commando at college,” George said, cracking a wide smile that made his brown eyes crinkle and shine. “I hear that’s what’s all the rage nowadays.”
He watched as a tiny hint of smile appeared on his mother’s face; he could see it in the twitch in the corner of her lips and the little twinkle in the corner of her eyes and he knew right there that he has defused yet another bomb. His mother took a pair of socks from the laundry basket and whacked him with it, which he figured he deserved.
“Go. Finish packing. If I find out that you forgot all your underwear here I will fly to your college and personally deliver your tighty-whities in front of all of your little college buddies, got it?” his mother threatened.
“I do not wear tighty-whities,” he mumbled with a pout, which earned another swat. “I’m a man.”
“Go.”
“Fine, fine, mom.”
He watched her walked down the remaining steps before he turned and climbed back up the stairs while he tried his best to ignore the reddish goo that coated his beloved iPod.
“Hey, George! George! What was that all about, huh?!” yelled a tiny but powerful voice as George passed one of the open bedroom doors.
He stopped, turned, and saw a miniature girl with big brown eyes and curly brown hair pulled into pig tails. Behind her he saw another girl who was slightly taller and a little older but looked rather similar.
“Donnie and Joe are just being a pain in my butt, Annie,” George informed his little sister. “Same as usual.”
“Oh my gosh I know! Yesterday they took my doll and tried to drown her in the toilet!”
“Well… I’m glad they didn’t try to do that with my iPod or else there would be a serious problem here,” George said slowly as he through of how he would hide the bodies of two young boys if such an event were to have occurred.
“What’d they do with your iPod, Georgie?” Rita asked as she pushed her younger sister out of the way.
“Oh, nothing,” George said, now feeling a little foolish for how he reacted earlier. “Nothing too bad. Just go back and watch your TV. I gotta go finish packing.”
“Packin’ for what?” Annie asked as she gripped onto George’s empty hand and followed him towards his room.
“He’s going to collage, Annie,” Rita sneered as she jogged to catch up with them.
“Actually it’s college, Ri,” George corrected her gently with a smile. “And I’m leaving to go to big kid school, remember Annie?”
“You’re leaving us,” Annie said with a pout so powerful it made George regret his choice of college for a moment.
“Not for good, kiddo,” he said. “You won’t even notice I’m gone after a day or two, this house is so noisy.”
“Will too,” the tiny girl continued to pout.
“Yeah, I mean, who’s gonna drive us to get ice cream and shit?” James, the second oldest boy said as he passed by, eyes buried in his phone as he rapid-fire texted someone.
“You’ll miss me, ya dumbass,” George said as he swatted his little brother’s head as he passed by, causing the younger teen to scowl.
“We’ll miss you like the plague, Georgie,” Stella, the oldest daughter at sixteen, said as she walked out of her bedroom, decked out in shorts that were too short and a top that was too tight for George’s liking.
“And where the hell are you running off to dressed like that?” he snapped as he took in his younger sister’s painted face and nails.
“None of your business, dork,” she snapped before she stuck out her tongue at him, walked down the hall, and began texting away on her brand new cell phone.
Just as Stella followed James down the stairs, two more figures sprinted up them at top speed, giggling like fiends. The two siblings ran into a room and closed the door tight behind them, laughing loudly from behind the door.
“Louise! Ricky!” Charlotte screamed as she buzzed past her other siblings and began pounding on the firmly shut door. “Which one of you ate the last banana Popsicle?! I was saving that for later!”
Shaking his head wearily, George disentangled himself from his sister and disappeared into his room where the shouts from the hall were slightly muffled. He collapsed onto his bed, knocking over a pile of freshly washed and folded laundry to the ground, and closed his eyes.
He would be leaving for college soon, a college that just happened to be on the opposite side of the country. It would be the first time any Luz went to college and would also be the first time George had ever left his family for more than a few nights. Sure, he would miss all nine of his crazy, bratty, obnoxious, and sweet younger siblings, but as the screaming escalated outside his bedroom while it mixed with the noises of a television left on from three floors below, he felt that maybe a change would be good. He was a little sick of being just another face in the giant cluster that was casa de Luz.
“I don’t want an orange Popsicle, mom!” Charlotte screamed from the hall while a car blasting obnoxiously loud rap music blared through the open window, probably here for Stella.
There was a crash of pots and pans from downstairs and the frantic footsteps of a child who was desperate not to get caught while someone else, probably James, turned the volume of the television set up to an unholy volume.
Yeah, George could do with a change.
The family dinner at the Leckie household was, as expected, loud. It wasn’t like they were all screaming and fighting and throwing chairs or anything but anytime fourteen people try to fit themselves into one room of a house, things were bound to be loud. Hell, Leckie would probably enjoy it if his family were like one of those families from one of the many reality television shows everyone was obsessed with; at least those families made arguing entertaining. No, when the Leckie household got into an argument, it was something more similar to a presidential debate than a Jerry Springer episode. Everyone always let the other be heard but no one ever got louder than necessary, only ever raising their voice so that they could be heard over his sister’s crying children. The Leckie household was filled with people who were so damn keen on not stepping on anyone’s toes.
It pissed Bob off.
Everyone in the house toed completely around everyone’s feelings, it felt like he had to walk around on egg shells whenever the entire family came over. Whenever there was some big family milestone, like Elizabeth having kids or Sara getting married or Lucy graduating from college, it always felt like there was an elephant in the room.
Leckie of course, knew the elephants name, so did everyone else, but he was the only one to ever put a name to it out loud. Whenever he dared say the name that was screaming in everyone else’s heads, his father shut down completely and left the room, his mother would try her best not to cry, and his siblings would go into a complete uproar of ‘how dare you mention him’ and ‘why did you have to say that’ and ‘what good are you doing, bringing him up at a time like this’. But, Leckie felt, someone had to. The rest of the family might be alright with trying to forget him, but Bob sure as hell wasn’t.
Damn, he needed a smoke.
Excusing himself from the overly formal and oppressive meal, Leckie jogged up into room, reached into the back of his dresser drawer, pulled out a pack of cigarettes, ran back downstairs and out the back door. He had a cigarette in-between his lips with a lighter halfway to his mouth before his feet had even left the back porch.
Once lit, he shoved the half-empty pack and his lighter into his jeans and jogged to the edge of the property before he collapsed behind the giant maple tree that easily hid him from view of his family.
“You know you could be a little less obvious with how much you hate your own family, Bobby,” a voice said from just behind him. It shocked Bob, causing him to choke on his newest inhalation of tobacco smoke.
He turned around to see his older sister, Karen standing behind him. She didn’t look upset or annoyed or even make a face at the cigarette he had been smoking. She just spoke as if talking about the weather; again with the not wanting to cause a fight and avoiding any toe-stepping possible.
“Are you a fucking ninja or something? Because you sneak up like one,” Leckie hissed before he took another puff of his cigarette.
Karen smirked slightly before she sat down next to him. Neither sibling said anything for a moment, with Bob smoking and fuming slightly while Karen looked as calm and stoic as any other member of their family. Finally, Bob broke the silence.
“I don’t hate my family, Karen. I really don’t.”
“Well then what would you say you do?” she asked politely. “Dislike? You have contempt for us? What?”
“I…”
What did Leckie really feel about his family? Well, he knew for sure he didn’t hate them, that was too strong and cruel of an emotion to put to these people. Disliked seemed too strong too but what exactly was it? More often than not, he just felt exasperated, if not frustrated with his family’s lack of communication and emotional bonding. However, he had the feeling his words would be lost on his sister, who had been slowly turning more and more into their father over the years. So instead of trying to set her straight and convince her he didn’t hate their family, he smoked his cigarette in peace, content with the knowledge that within the week, he’d be on the opposite side of the country from them all.
“Never mind, Bob,” Karen said with a slight sigh as she got up and brushed the dirt from her jeans. “Molly and Sara are only going to be here for another hour and I wanted to talk to them. If you feel like continuing this conversation later, I’ll be in my room.”
As he heard the back door closing behind his older sister, Bob finished off his cigarette but instead of going back inside, he stayed outside, sitting against the tree as he watched the sun descend across the horizon until his mother called him inside to say goodbye to his siblings.
Jesus, he just needed to escape.
Carwood Lipton stared out towards the rising sun as he leaned against the railings of his back porch house. He was always an early riser but ever since he started to take a larger role in taking care of his family’s boarding house, he tended to wake up just as most people his age were going to bed. He even woke up before his mother, who had been running the boarding house all by herself for the past eight years and hadn’t slept in past the crack of dawn in decades.
Lipton let out a deep breath and tried to ignore the slight shiver that came to him in the early morning hours when all he was dressed in was a t-shirt and some shorts. He really should get to work. He tried to get as much work done as possible before his mother got out of bed, just for the sake of making things easier for her. Not that he didn’t think she could do it; there were very few things Carwood thought his mother couldn’t do. Eight years ago when she had been put into a wheel chair because of a car accident that also killed Lipton’s father she had proved just how much she could do. No, he just wanted to take as much stress off of her before he left.
Carwood reached into the pocket of his gym shorts and pulled out a heavily creased and wrinkled pamphlet. On it bore of a picture of a large stone building with an ocean front background. The words ‘Pacific Coast University’ were written across the top in large navy lettering. Lipton brushed his fingers over the words before he shoved the packet of papers back into his pants.
In less than a week he would be on a plane headed towards the college that was thousands of miles away from his home in West Virginia. He had never really left his home before, no one in his family had. In fact if it were really up to him, he would have just stuck to his initial plan of taking courses at the local community college while he continued to help his family run the boarding house.
“Honey, you need the real college experience,” his mother had told him every time he mentioned going to community college. “You need a chance to stretch you wings, leave the nest, find your own adventure. And you’re not going to find any adventure doing basically the same thing you’ve done your last eighteen years.”
No matter how hard Carwood had tried to convince his mother that college was not only expensive, but he didn’t feel the need for adventure was all that important. However after months of bickering and back and forth, Carwood promised his mother that yes he would not only attend an actual college, he would attend one that was more than a five minute drive from the house. Carwood had been all set to attend Marshal University, while not far away like Mrs. Lipton had hoped for it was still something more than a community college, until his mother decided to get involved herself. It was because of Mrs. Lipton’s meddling that Lipton managed to become accepted to five colleges he had neither applied to nor heard of.
If there had been a time when he had been more exasperated and pissed at his mom, Carwood didn’t remember. He had shouted at his mom for half an hour about how not only it was an invasion of his privacy, it was probably illegal to lie to the universities she had applied to in his name. But Mrs. Lipton hadn’t been intimidated by her eldest child and his sudden temper. Instead she calmly but firmly told him that she only made copies of the application he had used for Marshal University, which since he had them laying on the table it was not an invasion of privacy and neither was it her pretending to be her son.
“I just want you to get out of this town, get out of the state,” she had said after almost an hour of arguing. “Stretch your wings, honey. I don’t want you to grow up without taking chances when you still could.” Lipton remembered how she had gripped his hands and looked up into his weary brown eyes. “If you go out into that big scary world and find that you don’t like it and can’t handle it, I promise you that you can come home. It’s okay to stay here when you’ve grown up. But I don’t want you to stay here without really going out and experiencing the world out there. Just try it. You might like what you find out there.”
And it was because of his mother’s words and her meddling that Carwood found himself accepting a place among the hallowed halls of Pacific Coast University. He didn’t really know what made him choose that particular school, sure the half scholarship he had received helped his choice, but really he couldn’t put his finger on the choice. Maybe it was just that when Carwood pictured adventure, something about the ocean seemed much more adventurous than the regular college. Whatever it was, his mother was thrilled that he had finally gone around to her way of thinking.
“And don’t you worry about me, honey,” his mother had said time and time again whenever he began to fret about his mother would get on without him to help her. “Now maybe we can finally get you bum of a brother to work and Emma’s never afraid to help out. Everything will be just fine. We can handle things if our little man of the house decides to go off.”
If Lipton was being completely honest with himself, now that the date of his departure was almost here, he was starting to feel truly nervous about moving away from his family and friends and the town he knew so well. But maybe his mother would be right and maybe this change would be good for him.
“You know if you think any louder the whole house is gonna hear what you’re thinking.”
Carwood turned around and watched as his mother slowly moved his wheel chair towards him, already dressed and ready for the long day ahead of them. He smiled at her and kissed the top of her head when she stopped next to him, as he done for years now.
“It’s okay to be nervous you know,” she said with a smile; Carwood didn’t even let himself feel surprised that his mother knew what was on his mind. The woman had been reading his mind ever since he had been born, never had been able to get away with even the feeblest of lies when he was around her.
“I’ll be fine,” Lipton told himself as he stared out at the rising sun. “I’ll just need some time to adjust and then I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
“Good. Glad to hear that you’re finally believing what I’ve been telling you all along,” she said with a smirk.
“I should get to work on chores while the house is still quiet,” Lipton said after a pause while he backed away from the porch and moved towards the door.
“Wake Danny up and have him help you!” his mother called after him as he disappeared into the house. “He’s gonna have to start getting used to pulling his weight around here when you’re off at your big bad college.”
Lipton just smiled and shook his head. No matter what happened at college, he knew he would miss these mornings with his mother and all the back-breaking chores he undertook in the quiet house.
“You know you didn’t have to follow me across the country, Bill.”
Bill Guarnere turned to stare at his best friend, who sat with his legs hanging off of the fire escape outside of his bedroom while he stared down at the pavement below.
“I can take care of myself,” Edward ‘Babe’ Heffron continued before he took a pull of the cigarette he had bummed off of Bill earlier. “Contrary to what people around he might think. I am a big boy.”
“That what you think,” Bill said as he rolled his eyes. “But you ain’t ever been on your own before, so how the fuck would you know if you could take care of yourself or not, eh?”
“Maybe if I were ever allowed out on my own I would know how well I could take care of myself,” Babe countered as he ran a hand through his messy red locks.
“You burnt yourself makin’ microwave mac n’ cheese,” Bill reminded him as he snagged away his friends cigarette and took a pull. “And cut yourself with a plastic spoon.”
“Yeah but that was one of those shitty cafeteria spoons that sometimes had the ragged edges,” Babe defended himself with a very child-like pout. “You gotta admit that sometimes the spoons were sharper than the knives.”
“You’re still a clumsy fucking idiot who would have died by now if it weren’t for the people watching your damn Irish hide,” the other teen grumbled.
“You know one day I’m not gonna have a safety net of people around me and I’m gonna have to learn how to take care of myself eventually,” Babe snapped, feeling irritated over his apparent lack of self-preservation skills.
“Says who?” Bill asked. “I ain’t leaving your ass until our death beds, you know that, right? ‘Til death do us part.”
“Okay you say shit like that and then you act all fucking surprised when people think we’re fucking dating each other,” the red head said in exasperation.
“You wish you were lucky enough to date me,” the brunette teen said without missing a beat. “I mean, if you’re willing to try you’re gonna have to take that up with Frannie and fight her for me.”
“While I do have a height advantage on her I feel like she would fight dirty.”
“I taught her everything I know,” he said proudly.
“Oh well when you put it like that, maybe I could take her,” Babe joked, which earned a slap upside his head.
The two teenage boys were quiet for a moment while they listened to the noises coming from the street and the beaten up second-hand radio sitting on Babe’s desk on the other side of the open window.
“But seriously, Bill,” Babe said quietly. “All you ever wanted was to go into the army and now all of a sudden you’re switching up your entire life just so you can volunteer for babysitting for the next four years of your life… you don’t have to do that man.”
“Hey I ain’t doing it by myself remember? Julian and Ralph are coming along for the ride as well,” Bill snapped.
John Julian and Ralph Spina were Bill and Babe’s other best friends. The four of them had been tearing up the streets of south Philly ever since they were in diapers.
“And I’m going into the Army Reserve and my ma and Frannie wanted me to go to college too so you know, why not?” Bill took a final pull of the cigarette before he grounded it out against the railing of the fire escape. “Julian’s been bitching about getting out of Philly since the fourth grade. And fucking Spina wasn’t about to be the only one left out on the fun. If we didn’t actually wanna do this Babe, we would let your ass fly across the country without us.”
“Yeah well, I still wish you guys would have let me do this by myself…”
“Why? Babe, kids all over the country are pissing themselves over leaving for a college where they’re all alone. And you, a kid who’s never been out of the neighborhood where literally everyone knows your ugly mug, are dying to go to the complete other side of the country to see if they can make it on their own? I mean what the fuck Babe?”
“Sink or swim kinda situation,” Babe said with a slight grin as he stared down at the empty street below.
“Dumbass situation to put yourself in if you ask me.”
“Yeah well I didn’t ask you.”
“You’re a little ginger shit, anyone ever tell you that?”
“You’ve told me that probably once a week since we were eight, Bill.”
“’Cus it’s the damn truth,” Bill said before he got up and swung his leg into Babe’s room through the window. “Now come on. I’m fucking starving and you’re buying cus I loaned you that ten bucks from last week that you still haven’t paid me back for.”
“Oh bullshit, whatever, Bill,” Babe said as he followed his friend inside and down the stairs the led towards the street.
Sure, when Babe heard the not only Julian but Bill and even Ralph were going to be following him to Pacific Coast University all the way on the west coast he was more than a little annoyed. Mostly because he had just gone through a big speech with all of his friends and family how he wanted to become more independent and how he would never get that living in Philly for the rest of his life where he had family and friends around every turn. But at the same time, he was secretly glad his friends decided to tag along for the ride because yeah, he was a little scared to be going off completely on his own. He could still try and be independent with a couple good pals watching his back so that he didn’t royally fuck up when he was so far away from home, right?
But your plan… Babe reminded himself quietly. You wanted to try and be new Babe.
There had been an idea, never really a plan that came into fruition, but there had been a chance that when Babe went away to college, he could maybe become someone different. Not someone completely different from who he was now, just maybe a Babe 2.0 or something. However, ever since Bill and Julian decided to tag along, the idea had been scratched.
The more he thought things through, the more he realized it might be a better idea if he had friends there to help him through his transition into Babe 2.0, make it easier to explain things we he went back home and he had to let everyone else in on the transformation.
That was the problem with hiding huge things from friends and family. The longer you hid them, the harder it seemed it was to explain shit. But then again, this wasn’t something Babe felt he could just blurt out, even to his closest of friends. No. He still needed time to get used to the idea himself.
Hopefully this whole college shit would help him with that.
“Lewis! Get your ass down here right now!”
Lewis Nixon ignored the yell from two floors below and continued on with his slightly rushed packing. He had two open suitcases on his bedroom floor while he stood in front of his dresser and began tossing clothing inside of them at random and hoped that whatever clothes stuck were actually useful. He heard more shouts from downstairs along with a ringing phone but he continued on with his task. He was a man on a mission and he had to get the hell out of dodge while he still had the chance. He had a wallet full of bills recently taken from the ATM, the back of his car was loaded up with some of his pricier possessions, like his laptop and the case of Vat 69 he had hidden under his bed until last night, and his car had a full tank of gas. All he needed was to grab his clothes and he would be out of there. If only he had managed to time it correctly and he would already be an hour away by now. Unfortunately not all of the best laid plans go like they’re supposed to.
“Lewis!” his father yelled as his feet pounded up the stairs.
He knew he only had another minute to get his shit squared away before his father busted inside looking for a fight and he knew it really wasn’t going to be that easy making a speedy getaway with two large suitcases. As he frantically zipped the two suitcases closed, he looked up at his cracked window and a plan formed quickly in his mind. Rushing forwards, he shoulder checked the window the rest of the way open and with little thought or pause, he shoved the first suitcase out the window and then the other. He watched as the two cases hit the ground with a muted thud, bounced slightly on impact, but stayed seemingly put together. Lewis glanced back at the closed bedroom door and knew that even though it was locked, it would only give him another few seconds of time; his father was sure to have grabbed the key, learning from past experiences with his son. Lewis glanced at the white trellis that stood against the wall of his house. It was covered in ivy and at one point in his life it easily supported his weight but he doubted that it would still support him.
“Damn,” Lewis cursed as he stared at the drop and wondered how soft the bushes were in the case that he fell.
He turned around at the sound of the rattling doorknob and knew right then and there that he’d have to either face his father or break his neck avoiding him. Wishing he hadn’t kept his trusty flask in the glove compartment of his car, Nixon waited for the click of the lock unlocking and then stared as his father stood in the doorway, looking more pissed off than Nixon had ever seen him in his nineteen years of living.
“Hey, Stan,” Nixon said as he causally leaned against his desk and gave his father one of his customary shit-eating grins. “What’s up?”
Stanhope Nixon glared at his son who resembled him so, same shiny dark locks and dark eyes, before he took several steps forwards until he was able to reach out and grip the front of his son’s shirt.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, huh?” he growled as he brought Lewis’s face close to his.
“Oh I don’t know dad, would you like a complete list or just the highlights?”
“Don’t give me that shit. I want to know what the fuck snapped in that head that made you decide it would be funny to get yourself thrown out of Yale.”
Lewis turned his gaze to the floor while he let himself remember everything that he had done today. He had done almost everything he had ever wanted to do since he had been forced into those hallowed halls last year, everything short from burning down some of the buildings and maybe taking a dump on the dean’s desk. He had always said if he was going to get kicked out of a school, it wouldn’t be because of grades; he’d go out with a bang. And dammit all, he sure went out like a firework.
“I don’t know, dad. Kinda funny when you think of how many poor saps are willing to kill to get in every year and I just threw it away like an old t-shirt.”
“You definitely threw it away, Lewis,” his father growled as his grip tightened to an almost painful grip. “Four fucking generations of Nixon’s going to Yale and you’ve just ruined it all. You just threw your whole life away.”
“Funny, I feel fine. Lighter somehow. Maybe it was all the shit I just escaped from.”
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with you!” Stanhope Nixon shouted as he shoved his son against his desk and took a step back. “I’ve tried my best with you, Lewis and you give me nothing in return. I sent you to private school, I got you not only one but three cars after you trashed the first two, I got you into Yale, I don’t know what else I should have done!”
“Maybe you should have fucking asked what the hell I wanted, Dad,” Lewis snapped, feeling his temper suddenly spike. “Maybe you should have asked if I wanted to go to that yuppy private school and if I even wanted a piece of shit car in the first place and maybe you should have fucking asked if I wanted to follow in your shitty footsteps and go to your piece of shit school! Because you know what dad?! I didn’t want any of this shit you’ve thrown at me over the years!”
“You ungrateful son of a bitch!” he shouted as he took another step backwards.
While Lewis would have loved to fight with his father some more, he knew he needed to take the chance while he got it. Lunging forwards, Lewis ran for the door and was already halfway down the stairs before his father had managed to exit the room. Two more flights of stairs and he was at the door, tugging some of his jackets from the coat hook and turning to look at his mother, who looked weary and close to tears.
“I’m sorry, mom,” he said and he truly meant it; even though his dad was a piece of shit, his mother tended to at least attempt to understand what Nixon was saying.
She nodded her head and smiled the smallest of smiles when Lewis leaned towards her and kissed her on the cheek.
“I’ll call you when I can,” he promised her and she only nodded her head in response while he husband stopped down the stairs above them. “I gotta go.”
Just as the tops of Stanhope’s feet could be seen at the top of the stairs, Lewis opened the front door and slammed it firmly shut behind him. He paused for a moment to pick up his hastily discarded luggage and ran as fast as he could towards his car that sat waiting for him. He shoved the luggage into the passenger seat along with some other possessions he had grabbed on the way out and started the car before he had even managed to properly close the door. He didn’t let up on the accelerator until he had exited the family property and was on the main road again.
Looking in his rearview mirror, all he could see was the outline of his large, cold house as it shrunk more and more the longer he drove. As the family home disappeared completely, a smile slowly grew on his face before he was wearing an almost manic grin on his face.
That was it. He was free. Finally.
“Pacific Coast University,” Lewis said as pulled on a pair of aviators and flicked on the radio to a local radio station. “Here I come.”
“Why do you have to go to a school that’s so far away?”
Warren ‘Skip’ Muck turned his attention away from the television set that had been holding his attention for the better part of the last hour. He focused instead on the tiny brunette who was sitting curled under his left arm as she looked up at him with warm brown eyes. He gave his girlfriend a squeeze and kissed her on the top of her head before he spoke to her.
“I’m sorry, what did you say? I got distracted,” he said as he grinned down at her which caused her to roll her eyes.
“Why do you have to go to college so far away, Skip?” she asked with a slight pout. “There are like literally a billion colleges that are way closer to home than the one you picked. Like, you could have picked a school in the middle of freaking Texas and it’d still be closer.”
“I don’t really know, Faye,” Skip admitted with a shrug. “I just wanted a change is all.”
“And like I said, could you have picked a school that was farther away?” Faye asked as she continued to pout.
“I could have gone to Alaska or Hawaii,” Skip joked after a slight pause which earned him a pinch to the stomach.
“I’m just gonna miss you is all,” Faye admitted quietly as she curled under Skip’s arm and pressed her face into his chest. “We haven’t been apart for more than a week, like, ever.”
“I know,” Skip said as he stroked her hair. “But I guess this is where we put us to the test and see what comes of it.”
“I don’t want a test,” she said as she looked up at him through her lashes. “I just want us.”
Skip felt his heart flutter at his girlfriend’s words. Smiling, he bent down and kissed her. When they broke away, he kept his forehead rested against Faye’s, almost desperate to stay as close to her as possible.
It was times like this that made Skip unsure if he would be able to leave his sweet and perfect girlfriend behind on the other side of the county. Faye was speaking the truth when she said they hadn’t been apart for more than a week since they had met, all the way back to the first day of middle school. Now they were expected to regularly spend weeks apart? He knew it was going to be difficult bu Skip felt like after a learning curve, they would master it like they had mastered everything else in their relationship.
“We’re gonna be just fine,” Skip said quietly and confidently as he stared lovingly into Faye’s eyes. “I promise.”
“Pinkie promise?” she asked as she held out her slim finger.
Skip smiled wider at the act that went all the way back to when they first met in sixth grade before he wrapped his own finger around hers and gave it a squeeze.
“Pinkie promise.”
“Good.”
Faye tilted her head upwards and kissed him softly before she turned her attention back to the television rerun that they had both seen a million times. As Skip watched the show and listed to his girlfriend laugh and talk while they shared a soda and some chips he did his best to remind himself that change was a good thing. Change made a person grow and he felt after being stuck in his tiny hometown for eighteen years, he needed a chance to grow.
This is gonna be a good thing, Skip reminded himself as Faye began to doze against his chest. A change will be good for you. This isn’t a mistake at all. Right?
Eugene Sledge stared forwards while his father pressed a cold stethoscope to his chest. He glanced down at his father for a moment, he was all grey hair and glasses and calm concentration, before he refocused on the wall ahead of him and did his best to keep calm. It was a moment later before his father pulled back with a slight sigh on his lips.
“Eugene,” his father said softly, looking concerned.
“I’m fine, dad,” Eugene said defiantly.
His father tipped his head downwards slightly, which caused his glasses to catch a glare and become miniature mirrors for a moment; Eugene was able to see his reflection: red hair, pale skin, brown eyes squinting slightly in defiance, pale lips downturned slightly in displeasure. His father looked back at him with similar brown eyes from his place on the stool he had dragged across the room while Eugene sat on his bed.
“I just don’t really like the sound of your heart, son,” he said as kindly and gently as he could as he placed his stethoscope back into his medical bag.
“Well it’s the only one I have and it’s been doing alright for about eighteen years,” Eugene snapped as he reached out for his shirt and tugged it over himself.
“Your mother and I worry, Eugene,” his father said earnestly. “You’ve had trouble before in the past and we just don’t want you to go so far away when something could happen to you.”
“You act as if there aren’t doctors and civilized medicine in California,” he countered as he stood up.
“Eugene…”
“Am I just gonna have to stay here in Mobile for the rest of my life just because my heart beats a little different from everyone else?”
Eugene stared as his father as he slowly got up from his seat and picked up his medical bag. He walked towards his son and placed a kind hand on his shoulder while he looked him in the eye.
“I’m not going to force you to stay here, Eugene,” his father said. “I’m never gonna force you to do anything you don’t want to. I just want you to know that I worry.”
“I’ll be fine,” he repeated in a less hostile and annoyed tone.
“Well, your mother’s not going to be very pleased with but your mother has always been something of a worrier.”
“Thanks, dad,” Eugene said, smiling.
“I’ll break the news to her that we can’t keep you on a leash forever,” his father said with a slight shake of his head as he took a step towards the door. “Maybe you should clear out for a bit while I break the news.”
“I’ll go let Sid know,” Eugene said while he thought of his best friend. “Maybe take Deacon out for a walk as well.”
“Good. Just try and be back in time for supper.”
“I will.”
Eugene grabbed his sweatshirt, pulled it on over his t-shirt, and walked down the hall and stairs towards the front door. He passed by the parlor, where he spotted his mother sitting down as his father walked towards her. He picked up his pace, not wanting to be in the vicinity when the shoe dropped.
“Come on, Deacon,” he said as he passed by the dozing dog that laid by the door.
The dog perked up as Eugene shoved his feet into a pair of tennis shoes and grabbed the dog leash. He quickly snapped the metal clasp around his dog’s collar before he opened the door and rushed outside. Together they walked down the steps that lead off of the large wrap around porch and went down the long dirt road that led to the end of the large amount of property his family owned. He pulled out his cell phone from his pants pocket and began texting his best friend, Sidney:
Wanna meet up?
Before Eugene could even return his phone to his pocket, his phone buzzed with a new text message from Sidney.
usual place?
Yeah, Eugene typed.
be there in 5, Sid responded.
Eugene shoved his phone into his pocket and began to jog down the dirt road with Deacon running along beside him. After passing through the gates of the property, Eugene took a left and jogged down the country road for a few minutes before he took a right and began to walk down a hidden path in the forest. There was a minor path to follow, years of moving through the thick vegetation has created a slight dirt depression in the ground and tree branches grew slightly out of the way. Eugene followed the path until he ended up in a small clearing and sat down next to a large boulder at the edge of the clearing. He unclipped Deacon from his leash and let him go, knowing he was so well trained that he would come back if he went too far.
“Parents finally let you out of the house?”
Eugene turned his head and watched as his best friend emerged from the foliage on the opposite side of the clearing. Sidney Phillips grinned at him as he flicked a low hanging branch out of his way, brown eyes crinkling as he smiled while his blond curls stuck up erratically as usual. He crossed the clearing, scratching the top of Deacon’s head as he passed, and sat down across from him. The clearing was equidistance from the two friends’ houses and as children they would always meet up there together. Sometimes they would travel into the woods together, sometimes they would just use it as a place to meet up before they left to go somewhere else, other times the two friends just sat there and talked for hours.
“Even better,” Eugene said with a smile. “My dad gave me the official okay to go away.”
“Cutting it kinda close, aren’t we?” Sid joked. “We’re leaving in a couple of days. Paid your acceptance fee, already sent half your shit across the country, set up your room and board… I sure hope you’re going to be allowed to go to PCU.”
“Yeah well my mom’s been holding on hope that maybe I’ll get cold feet and duck out of this.”
“She’s always been protective of her bouncing baby boy,” Sid sneered; Eugene slapped him upside the head with the back of his hand.
“Shut up, you dumb greaser.”
“What?! Only telling the truth. She’s always had you on a tight leash.”
“Yeah, well, I guess she has some reason to…” Eugene mumbled as he watched Deacon sniff around some trees.
The grin that had been on Sid’s face a moment ago slowly faded until he was looking way too serious for Eugene’s liking. He watched as his friend fiddled with some weeds for a moment before Side spoke quietly.
“So how’s the old ticker working?”
“Dad said he didn’t like the sound of it but I’m sure I’m fine,” Eugene answered. “They need to understand I’m not going to live the rest of my life in their house while I’m watched over by my doctor twenty-four-seven. One day I’ll be out and I’ll have to take care of myself.”
“Yeah well, I’m sure they just didn’t expect your first big move to be to a college that’s a thousand miles away. Probably expected you to take baby steps.”
“I just felt like I needed a big move. Just jump right into the whole, independent adult thing.”
“Good thing I’m going along with you or else they probably would have had you chained down in the basement already,” Sid joked.
While Eugene was glad that his lifelong friend would be with him for the next part of his life, a small part of him wished his friend had decided to pick somewhere else to attend college. This choice of college was made in an attempt to show how well he would do on his own and it was a little hard to prove that to his parents when his watchful best friend was sleeping five feet away in the same room.
“Hey, you know someone’s gotta watch over your scrawny butt,” Sid said as if he had read his friends mind. “Might as well do it and not some unqualified frat boy.”
“Well when you put it that way.”
The two friends sat in a comfortable silence for some time while Deacon sniffed and searched around the area, curious as a puppy that he hadn’t been in some time.
“We’re gonna have fun at college,” Sid said confidently as he leaned back and lied down on the cool grass. “I can feel it.”
Eugene looked down at Sidney for a long moment before he lied down in the grass next to him. They stared up at the canopy of trees for a while Eugene let himself get buried in his thoughts. He thought about how ever since he was young he was put on a tighter than normal leash, all because of some dumb heart defect that gave him a hard time approximately once a year in eighteen years of life. He thought about how his father, who was also a well know practicing doctor in the area, gave him weekly check-ups to please his mother, who seemed to think he might drop dead if he did more than walk to the end of the property with the dog. He realized that for once, there would be no mother over his shoulder making sure he never over-exerted himself, no father to press a cold stethoscope to his chest in the morning before school, no older brother to watch him like a hawk when their parents weren’t around. Sure, Sidney would be there with him, but Sid always encouraged him to be more active, more physical. For once in his lifetime, Eugene Sledge was going to do what he wanted, when he wanted.
“You know what, Sid?” Eugene said as he tilted his head toward his friend. “I can feel it to. College is gonna be great.”
“Fuck.”
Merriell Shelton stared at the metal door in front of him as he gripped the unmoving doorknob. As if it might suddenly become unlocked, he gave the knob another twist but it stayed locked into position. Sighing slightly, he bent down and flipped up the black mat but there was no emergency key underneath, just a bunch of pebbles and bits of old gum.
“Fuck,” he repeated softly, more of a sigh than an actual word.
He remembered now that he hadn’t returned the emergency key back to its place under the mat from the last time he forgot his keys. Grumbling slightly, Shelton began to walk around the building, scoping out each window as he went. One of the windows was loose and could be easily jimmied open from the outside. At least he hoped there was still a loose window. Gene had mentioned about getting it fixed a little while back but the poor guy was usually so busy he hardly ever had time to do half the stuff he wanted to.
“Jackpot,” he said as the window jerked upwards after some force.
There was an unpleasant screeching noise that sounded a lot louder in the late night/ early morning hours but soon enough he had the window opened enough to fit his skinny ass inside. With a practice ease, Merriell pulled himself up and inside before he tumbled as quietly as he could manage to the floor.
“Shit!” he swore as his head knocked against a filing cabinet which caused a couple files to tumble to the ground.
“Shelton, that better be you waking the dead in there or else we’re going to have a problem,” said a voice from the next room over.
“Thought you would have gone home by now,” Shelton drawled as he rubbed his head. “Bit late, don’t you think?”
“You’re one to talk about coming in late,” said the dark outline of a tall, thin figure in the doorway.
“Yeah well this is where I crash, you however actually have a real place so you are in a worse spot than me.”
It was then that the figure reached out and flicked the light switch so that the two of them were suddenly cast in blinding white light. Shelton winced for a moment before he opened an eye and took in the man before him: dressed in a pair of wrinkled and slightly stained blue scrubs, he had thick inky black hair that stuck up messily, dark blue eyes, and pale skin with dark circles under his eyes which proved just how little rest he actually got. His name was Eugene Roe and he was probably the closest thing to a friend Merriell had ever had before.
“What are you doing climbing in through a window anyhow?” Roe asked as he stared at Merriell.
“Forgot my key.”
“There’s a spare under the mat, you know that.”
“Yeah well I kinda forgot to put that one back after the last time I used it.”
“Shelton if your head wasn’t attached to your neck I think you’d misplace that too,” Eugene said in exasperation as he took a step backwards and ducked out of the cluttered room.
“I didn’t misplace shit, Gene,” he said as he followed him out into the white tiled hallway that was light by bright white florescent. “I just forgot them in the back.”
“Cus there’s such a big difference between misplacing and forgetting,” he said as they turned and walked into something that resembled a waiting room; old worn chairs were pushed up against the walls while beaten up copies of out of date magazines laid messily over a scuffed wooden table. A large desk covered in files and an outdated bulky computer sat facing the locked front doors.
“How did you not have your keys? You took the truck didn’t you?” Roe asked as he pulled out a key ring and unlocked the unmarked wooden door behind the desk. “Don’t you keep your key on the same ring as the truck?”
“Naw, keep forgettin’ to put them on the same ring,” Shelton said as Roe unlocked the door and opened it for him.
Gene gave him a flat stare for a moment before he shook his head and sighed. He shoved his own keys back into his pocket before he put a hand on the other man’s shoulder and pushed him towards the dark room.
“Just get your ass in there,” he snapped. “And I wanna see you put the building key with the truck key.”
“Yes momma,” Shelton drawled as he stepped into the dark room, the only light coming from the window that let in scant rays of moonlight.
Gene opened his mouth to say something else but before he could Shelton pulled the door shut and cut him off before he could speak. Shelton stood with his back pressed to the door for a moment and waited for the sound of Gene’s footsteps disappearing before he reached out and flicked on the old lamp that he knew was within arm’s reach. The lamp clicked on and cast the back room in a glow of yellow light.
A twin mattress was set up on against the wall to his right and directly across the bed sat a second hand dressed that had an outdated television sitting on top of it along with a beaten up clock radio. On the far wall of the room was a counter with a sink. Sitting on top of the sink was a new toaster over, an old coffee maker, and unplugged hot plate. A mini fridge sat on the ground under the counter, humming quietly in the silent room. The room wasn’t much of anything at all but it was probably the best home Merriell Shelton had had in years. It wasn’t like he was in much of a place to complain when Gene was letting him live in the back room of the medical clinic he worked in for free.
Merriell kicked off his old, scuffed, and beaten boots and walked over to the counter. He hoisted himself up next to the window and pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pants pocket. Gene had a big rule about no smoking in the clinic but Merriell figured if there were no patients present and he opened the window when he did, there wasn’t much room to complain if he smoked for a bit. As Merriell flicked some ash out of the window, he caught his reflection in the glass of the window: erratic dark brown curls, pale eyes, skin tanned from almost two decades spent outside in the hot Louisiana sun.
He turned away from his tired reflection as he tossed the finished cigarette out the window. Sliding off of the counter and moving to his bed, Merriell lied down, his body sagging with the relief of sleep but his mind felt like it was filled with a million buzzing bees. Shelton always had trouble sleeping; barely slept as a child, rarely slept as an adult. He didn’t really know why. Just didn’t feel tired like normal people were supposed to.
Shelton’s phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out to inspect the latest text message:
willing to pick up another shift tomorrow morning?
It was one of the guys from the ship yard Shelton worked that was an hour drive away from the clinic, all the way down in New Orleans. Knowing he could use the money, Merriell barely took a moment to think before he typed in his response.
sure. what time?
He waited a moment before his phone buzzed again with another message.
11 thanks snafu
Merriell stared at the text message for a moment before he let his phone drop gently to the ground while he stared up at the ceiling, his mind buzzing with a billion thoughts.
Snafu was a nickname that had been given to him a long time ago, so far back that he couldn’t even remember who or when exactly the name had been given to him. As far back as he could remember there had been people calling him Snafu. More people back in his old neighborhood in New Orleans knew him as Snafu than Merriell or even Shelton.
In Baton Rouge where people didn’t really know him or at the clinic when it was just him and Gene and a couple clinic employees who didn’t know any better, he was Shelton or even Merriell. Here he was a person with a name and no real story except one of a kid who just needed some help and had a friend who was kind enough to loan a room in the back of the building to him. In return for the kindness of letting him sleep in the clinic, Shelton would give a hand where ever he could if he was around and no one had a problem with the occasionally gruff and grumpy Shelton staying with them until he left for school.
But back in New Orleans, where he had lived for almost eighteen years, still worked in the ship yards, caused enough problems with the local police for a lifetime, where more than enough people knew the fucked up story surrounding the Shelton name, he was Snafu.
And Snafu was a text book, grade-A fuck up.
He knew the when people heard his name as it was in New Orleans, Snafu Shelton, they were more than likely to leave his presence as quickly as they could. Sometimes people, usually the idiotic young men, would ask him if the stories were true. After so many years of hearing this, Shelton stopped trying to let people know what stories were and weren’t true and just rolled with the identity the city gave him.
He was Snafu Shelton, the baby that was so awful that his mother left him when he was a year old because she couldn’t stand him, the toddler who ran away and lived with alligators and possums for a year instead of living with his abusive, drug dealing, alcoholic father, the young boy who was kicked out of every elementary school in the area for biting teachers and swearing at the other kids and for destroying at least three classrooms, the young boy who tortured stray animals in the alley way next to his house and learned voodoo from the old ladies who lived on the outskirts of town, the kid who lived in the abandoned, rotting buildings for months after Katrina hit with the dead, bloated bodies, the teen that set fire to the church yard and broke into houses when he needed money and who almost beat his crack-head daddy to death after he tried to hit him, the teen who dropped out of school at thirteen and who could barely read or write, the teen who was blamed whenever something bad happened that couldn’t be explained, the teen who lived in a meth lab out of town after his father finally kicked him out and sold a whole slew of drugs across the state of Louisiana.
That was the person most people saw when he walked around his old neighborhood; some completely fucked up guy with more problems than everyone in the city combined. He knew people wondered how long it would be before either jail or death took him away from the city but he just really couldn’t give a shit about what the idiots said about him. Besides, in a week he would be out of the piece of shit city that never wanted him to begin with. He’d be on the other side of the country at a college filled with people who had never heard his name before.
Probably hear some interestin’ theories on what happened to me, Shelton thought to himself with a slight grin.
He glanced at the time on the clock across the room; the glowing numbers showed him that it was going on four-thirty in the morning now and he should probably try and get some sleep if he was going to be back in the city by eleven tomorrow. He should feel exhausted, he had worked all day in the ship yard after sleeping very little the night before, barely ate, stopped by a bar he knew that didn’t card, had a couple drinks, stopped by the house of one of the lovely bar patron’s, and finally arrived back at the clinic at four in the morning. But because of whatever part of his brain was fucked up, he couldn’t sleep. All he could think about was finally leaving this godforsaken state and going somewhere new.
David Webster slid the plastic key card into the slot, watched with tired eyes as the light blinked from red to green, heard the click of the lock, and then opened the hotel room door. He grabbed his other overstuffed suitcase, wedged his extra pillow under his arm, and walked inside with the door closing behind him.
The hotel room was clean and orderly but it also carried a distinct lonely feeling. The single queen bed sat alone, an empty closet, only one chair sat at the tiny table in the corner...
Feeling his exhaustion hit him like a ton of bricks, David let go of his meager belongings and walked to the bed. Fully clothed, he fell on top of the bed face first and didn’t move for several minutes. He wanted nothing more than to just dissolve into the soft bed and never be bothered ever again. Well, there was one thing he wanted more but he knew he wasn’t about to get that anytime soon.
It was strange to think that this morning he had woken up in his own bed back home, back when everything in his house seemed somewhat normal and good. Twelve hours later he could still hear the yelling of his parents and brother, still see his younger sister torn, not quite sure what to do or who to side with, still feel the ache in his jaw where he had been punched and the back of his head that had been hit with something.
It had been a rather long and eventful day for him to say the least.
Mustering up his remaining energy, David rolled over onto his back and kicked off his shoes as he stared up at the white ceiling. He hoped that maybe when he went to sleep he would wake up back in his bedroom back in New York, would hear the noises of his siblings getting ready, both much earlier risers than him, would smell all the familiar smells of home and everything would be okay. However, David knew better. He knew that when he did wake up, he’d still be in the hotel room in northern California that was a forty minute drive from his college, still be alone in the world, still be telling himself not to run back home and beg for his parents to forgive him or understand him. No. David Kenyon Webster may be some things but he was not a beggar and he was not going to give his parents the satisfaction of seeing him like that.
David ran his fingers through his thick, dark brown curls and gave his locks a small painful pull. He didn’t know why but it felt kind of good, the pain. So he kept pulling until his scalp ached and he let go, feeling too close to crying for his comfort. He took a deep, shaky breath in hopes that it would calm him down but it didn’t do anything. He still felt the pressure in his eyes, the tightness in his throat that only came before he started crying, it was only a matter of time now.
“Shit,” he sighed as he closed his eyes and felt the first two tears trickle down the sides of his face and fall into his hair.
Giving in completely, David let out a small sob and let the tears roll down his face as he did his best to cry as quietly as possible. Really though, he guess he should at least commend himself for making it this far without crying. He made it through a screaming match with his parents and brother, was dry eyed in the taxi to the airport and on the plane over here, made it through another taxi ride, and only now after so many hours of holding everything in was he finally letting it all out. He guessed if there was a place and time to break down, now when he was alone was probably the best option.
Between his tears and the general exhaustion of the day, David felt himself slipping rather fast into the realm of sleep. He didn’t fight it as he felt more and more tears rolling down his face. He begged for anything that might be able to take him out of this piece of shit day and put him somewhere better.
He hoped with all of his being that this was the right thing to do. The college, so far from his home, so far from the people who were supposed to love him unconditionally no matter what… he just wanted something to go right for once.
Please let this not be a mistake, David begged as he drifted off to sleep. I just need this to go right.