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1. Happy Wife, Happy Life by catatonicVitriol

   Fandoms: Backrooms (Movie 2026)  

   • Explicit
   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • M/M
   • Complete Work

   17 Aug 2026

   Tags

   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • Clark/Pirate Clark (Backrooms 2026)
   • Clark & Pirate Clark (Backrooms 2026)
   • Pirate Clark (Backrooms 2026)
   • Clark (Backrooms 2026)
   • proudly NOT made using AI
   • we wrote this smut with our bare hands like normal people
   • Fluff and Smut
   • Alien Biology
   • again the Goop Hole is here
   • Clark's Ex Wife is Mentioned
   • briefly
   • Explicit Sexual Content
   • Human/Monster Romance
   • Clark is Touch Starved
   • POV Third Person
   • Pirate Clark Affectionately Referred to as "Captain"
   • Captain eats someone again
   • (this time in the past! but it is mentioned and technically shown?)
   • Xenophilia
   • i think??
   • Cuddling & Snuggling
   • Safe and Consensual but not Sane
   • i go into SO much detail. like. probably too much.
   • i really like going into detail about the anatomy of the goop hole.
   • theres your only warning for that
   • Dry Humping
   • god. i love dry humping.
   • Pirate Clark is Sentient
   • can it be considered Penis in Vagina Sex if the vagina is just an organ hole??
   • Pirate Clark manefests a new room in the Backrooms somehow
   • i might have missed one or two tags. dat on me. but everything important IS tagged do NOT worry

   Summary

   Clark is forced to confront his feelings.

   Or, actually, just some of them. Mainly the "horny" part.

   Set after the events of Fly on the Wall

   Series

   • Part 3 of A Collection of Times I Found Myself

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   4,157

   Chapters:

   1/1

   Comments:

   6

   Kudos:

   52

   Bookmarks:

   3

   Hits:

   569