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In the midst of everything before, Peter had given MJ his number, “Just in case you ever need help.” He had to pretend he didn’t have hers still saved in his phone, untouched for years. It wasn’t long after he’d parted ways with Ned with his new Spider-Man realization that Peter got a text from her;
MJ
Why didn’t you tell him?
He didn’t want to tell her that it was because he was scared, that he thought it might be pointless. What use is it to know you’re forgetting something if you’ll never remember it? Wouldn’t that just hurt more? Did it not hurt her? Instead, he waited until he’d gotten home from Frank’s place to reply—
Peter
I’m going to
Will you be there?
MJ
Do you want me to be?
Surely she knew how hard that would be for him to answer. Did he want her to be near, by his side, a familiar face of comfort? Yes. Did it hurt, having to remind himself to keep a safe distance, meeting her gaze and not seeing the same recognition as before? Also yes. If he was looking at it from a logical standpoint, which he had to, then he decided it was probably for the best if she was.
Peter
It might make it easier
He’s probably more likely to believe you
And boy did that hurt to type. While waiting for a response, he’d scrolled back, rereading the texts she’d sent starting the day it all went down with Jean—the day he got shot, and the days it took him to wake up, before he could finally respond.
MJ
What was that? Are you okay?
Whatever it was, we’re safe now
You better stay safe too
MJ
Peter?
MJ
We just saw the news
Please be okay
MJ
Ned’s worried about you too
I tried to visit but they aren’t letting anyone in
I guess it’s for the best, they’re protecting your identity
I hope they gave you the drawing like I asked
MJ
The news outlets haven’t said anything more so I assume that’s a good thing
They usually enjoy the fearmongering that comes with bad news
You’ll be okay
The city believes in you
MJ
I believe in you too
In case you didn’t guess that
It shouldn’t have come as a surprise that she cared. It was only human to, and she always felt more than she let on. Peter had been privileged enough to be allowed past those walls at one point. He still wasn’t used to seeing her text like this, probably because when things did go wrong, she was usually right there by his side to help handle it. He hadn’t cried the first time he’d read through those messages, but couldn’t say the same for the second or third time.
Peter
I’m okay, I’m sorry for worrying you
MJ
Don’t apologize dumbass
Just don’t do that again
Peter
Wasn’t planning to
Turns out getting shot sucks
MJ
I never would’ve guessed
Just stay safe, okay?
Don’t do anything stupid
Ned and I are here if you need anything
That had been the last conversation they’d had before this. Of course, Peter hadn’t taken them up on that offer, there was nothing he could justify asking them for. He didn’t deserve anything from them. Instead, he owed them answers, which brought him back to their current conversation just as MJ’s next message appeared:
MJ
Then I’ll be there
Now stop being Spider-Man while you’re still healing :/
Peter
How did you know???
MJ
Spidey Tracker
Ned feels bad checking now that he sort of knows you because he doesn’t want to be too stalkerish
Kinda late for that
But I told you not to do anything stupid
Peter
I was being safe, I didn’t even fight anything
MJ
Whatever
So when are you going to tell Ned
He’s still kind of losing his mind
Peter
I can come by tomorrow?
If that’s okay
We can meet somewhere else if that’s better
I just want it to be private yknow?
I’d invite you to my place but its kinda depressing lol
MJ
You can come here
Afternoon is better
Peter
Ok
See you then?
MJ
See you
So, he was committed. It was too late to back out, to be a coward, running away from them like he had the past four years. Ned really had nothing to worry about when it came to being “stalkerish”, considering Peter had been doing pretty much the same thing. So many times, watching Ned’s videos or checking their socials from accounts he didn’t dare follow them on, he’d felt like a creep. He told himself he was only making things hurt more, and maybe that was true, but he also couldn’t stay away.
Which was why, against all instinct, he found himself outside the door of Ned and MJ’s apartment the next day, hand trembling as he raised a fist to knock. He’d come strictly as Peter, so there’d be no tracking alert going off announcing his presence. He tried not to listen in, as hard as his newly enhanced senses made it to not hear everything around him; he forced himself not to hear the words, letting them fall into the background noise of the city, but he could still hear the muffled voices on the other side waiting for him.
Then, the voices faded and footsteps approached. Peter hadn’t moved, but something must’ve alerted them to his arrival anyway. God, he was pathetic. He lowered his hand, accepting his fate, just as the door swung open and he was greeted by the sight of MJ with a raised brow.
“How long were you planning on standing there?" she asked, amusement evident in her voice.
“How… how did you know?” he stammered unhelpfully back.
“Neighbor texted, said there was a weird guy outside our door. Figured he meant you.”
Peter winced, he really was a creep, but she pulled the door open wider with a gesture to come inside.
“Sorry about that,” he started to say just as Ned peered around the corner to wave with giddy anticipation. It wasn’t hard to spot at least two already-empty cans of energy drink as they joined him.
“Dude! I can’t believe you actually came back, it’s so cool to see you again.”
Right, Ned knew him as Spider-Man. That was what made Peter important to him. He hoped the smile he offered didn’t noticeably waver. When he shot a glance at MJ, looking for any reason to not just play along and let this hard conversation go, she gave a nod of encouragement. He was a weak, weak man for someone who barely even knew him.
“Of course, man. There’s actually… something I wanted to talk to you about. But you should probably sit down, it’s really crazy.”
Ned looked between the two of them, trying to dissect answers himself. He hadn’t missed the glance, this was something MJ already knew. Or maybe she was in on? Were they together? Was that why she knew Spider-Man’s name in the first place? What about—wait, no, they’d broken up a few days ago. Ned was honestly relieved, he didn’t like the way that guy talked to MJ sometimes, but it hadn’t been his place to say so. But she’d known Peter’s name before that.
“Uh, okay, sure,” Ned laughed off that idea, taking a seat as instructed. It was a ridiculous idea anyway, because one, MJ may have been many unconventional things, but she was at least loyal, and two, there was no way she’d let him go on with his totally-not-stalkerish Spidey Tracker habits if it was her boyfriend. She’d still told him it was stupid, sure, but she would’ve done a lot more against it if she actually cared. He used to think she was just as curious as he was to find out.
She surprised him more by taking a seat beside him, reaching for his hand. She looked at Ned with such earnestness, a silent plea for him to listen. Some part of him felt unease, so rarely had he ever seen her like this—another part of him, a part that confused him, felt like something was finally about to fall into place that had been missing for a long, long time.
Peter didn’t sit. He looked between them for a long moment, taking a deep breath, and then the words just started rushing out of him, falling into an unsteady pacing back and forth with frantic hand gestures. It was the show of a madman. He was once again reliving the worst day of his life through his own storytelling. He said that Ned had known him then, but not in what capacity. He couldn’t deal with another rejection of that caliber. He didn’t say the exact reason why he’d gone to Doctor Strange—he burned with shame every time he remembered it was for college—just that he was trying to help the people who were burned in association with him. He told how Ned and MJ had helped him, as both Peter Parker and Spider-Man, and how he had to say goodbye in the end because it was the only way.
MJ hadn’t known the story in that much detail, only what he’d decided to share in the letter. It was insane, something she wouldn’t have believed if it came from anyone else, but it was coming from the man she knew had saved them. Even if she couldn’t remember his face, she remembered that. It had also been hard to deny just how true his confession to her had been, the one she couldn’t return. She had known, to an extent, what this conversation would be, but she hadn’t expected this. It was just one of those things that seemed impossible to forget, and yet. She was starting to think she really hated magic.
Ned had been frighteningly silent throughout. While Peter talked, he kept moving, doing anything he could to not look over and see the horror on their faces. But his story had to come to an end at some point and he’d have to face them.
“...so everyone forgot me, including you. I know it’s hard to believe we knew each other, and I don’t expect you to remember or even want to, but I made a promise to come find you and I may have taken too long but I had to tell you.”
Peter had to have been taking breaths throughout, but he felt like he was gasping for air at the end, just trying to force all the words out. He finally stopped in place, bracing himself for what was to come. He hated that he heard each rapid blink, the rush of blood, each shallow breath and rapid beat of hearts pounding, the shift of bone and muscle as Ned squeezed MJ’s hand, and she squeezed back.
“So we were… friends?” Ned finally spoke, breathless. When Peter cautiously looked up to meet his eyes, he found wide eyes and a slack jaw.
“Best friends,” MJ said since he wouldn’t. Both boys looked to her, Peter with a wave of panic and Ned still reeling. She added, for the latter’s sake, “I didn’t know… all of that, but I found out what we used to be. I know none of this makes sense, but…” she trailed off, unsure what to say. She had nothing cliche to offer, no deeper understanding when she barely understood it herself.
Ned let go of her hand to stand, shaking his head. “No…”
Just like that, Peter accepted he would probably never see Ned again. There was something nice about the anonymity of watching from afar, just another face in the city that he could pass and not notice he was being watched. Now, Ned knew what he looked like beneath the mask, knew what he did out on those streets, knew how he nearly destroyed the whole world—and who would want a friend, a best friend like that, when you couldn’t even remember the good they’d had too? That monster had brewed inside him for a reason, because deep down, he was one. For all the good he tried to do, for all the people he refused to kill, could he ever run from the truth of what he was? He’d tried, and it might’ve just ruined the lives of the people he loves again—
“It makes so much sense!” Ned exclaimed, clearly catching them both off guard. Peter went rigid as he continued, “All this time, I knew I had to find you. Well, Spider-Man, and sure, it was to thank you, but it always felt like there was something else, y’know? All those places you just happened to be to save us, it wasn’t a coincidence! I always thought there was something wrong with me… I could’ve sworn that something was different but there was no way to prove, like I was living in some kind of Mandela effect. But now you’re here, and… Bro, it feels like I’ve been waiting for you my whole life.”
MJ has known that Ned would be able to take the news, but she never could’ve imagined this reaction. She just can’t help the sinking feeling, wondering why Ned got to feel like he’d lost a part of himself and yet she felt nothing. Was it because so much more of Ned’s life had been erased than hers, in all the spaces Peter had once filled? One look at Peter showed he was probably on the verge of tears; not because of the same heartbreak she had left him with, but instead with hope.
“And that handshake?” Ned asked, looking down at his own hand. The thing that had opened the doors to this conversation. He had connected Peter to the name MJ had called after Spider-Man, but there was something achingly familiar about it too. Something like that doesn’t just come out of nowhere. He stuck out his hand to Peter, wanting to feel it again.
“It’s been ours since elementary school,” Peter said, beaming now as his hand met Ned’s and instinct carried them through the rest, every movement in sync until they were each pointing finger guns at each other like they had before.
“It’s like magic!”
“Dude, you are magic.”
That got Ned’s attention again, snapping him out of the awe at which he’d been staring at their hands. “I mean, my Nana always said—”
“You can do Doctor Strange magic, I’ve seen it!” Peter insisted, with the giddiness of a child that consumed Ned instantly.
MJ had been right, they did look like best friends. She didn’t really hear the explanation Peter gave, vaguely noticing when he started miming circles in the air apparently to Ned’s amusement. They fell into their roles instantly, so easily—was Ned not the least bit upset about the years that had passed? If Peter had made a promise, why did it take so long to follow through?
(That one’s not really fair, she knew that. She was the one who’d been in danger because of her association to him even now, she knew he was trying to protect her, but it still didn’t feel fair to her either. She should’ve had a choice in the matter. If he’d said something earlier, would she have remembered? Since when did she start wanting to remember?)
She cared about Peter, the way a friend would. MJ wasn’t heartless, even if some people seemed to think otherwise. She let them. Something about Peter just made him impossible not to like. It was just hard knowing how he saw her, seeing something that wasn’t there anymore and loving it so intensely—he was in love with the ghost of her, something she couldn’t be. Something she wasn’t sure she’d even want to be. She just hoped that one day he might be able to look at her again without those sad puppy eyes making her feel bad for something she couldn’t help. She’s pretty sure he’s not even aware he’s doing it, which somehow makes it worse, because it’s easier to dismiss the supposed agony of someone trying to manipulate her. Peter wasn’t. He was just a good guy with a good heart and bad coping mechanisms.
It was almost funny that he’d thought he’d need her help with this, when he and Ned had fallen back into what she could only assume was old ways. Still, in the midst of Peter’s excited conversation, he caught her eye to give a nod of thanks. MJ wasn’t even sure what for at this point.
Peter, meanwhile, felt like he was close to vibrating out of his skin. The more caught up in the emotions he got, the harder it was to string together cohesive sentences;
“Would it be weird—I mean, everything about this is weird—but if… can I?” he struggled to say with a few aborted hand gestures between himself and Ned.
In a way that only Ned could, he understood. Firm hands gripped Peter’s shoulder, an intense look in his eyes. “I may not remember now, or maybe even ever, but trust me when I said I would do anything to be your man in the chair again. We are going to be the most badass team ever and make new memories. I have cyber stalked you long enough for you to know you can’t get rid of me now.” Then, he did what Peter had actually been asking for, pulling him into a hug.
It felt like more of a home than Peter had had in years, clinging to his best friend as if he might slip away otherwise. Fingers closed around the fabric of Ned’s shirt, strength controlled enough not to rip it. “I missed you so much,” he said weakly, voice pathetically fragile. He lingered for as long as he could, before fearing it would get weirder than it already was and pulling away with misty eyes and a wobbly smile. “I’ll answer any other questions the best I can, I know it's a lot. I have so much to show you—I started making my own tech, I think you’re really going to like it. It’s just… really good to see you again.”
It came as a surprise to Peter when Ned responded, “You too, man.”
MJ was happy for them, really. She just wished she understood what it was like.