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Parrot grunted—as Theo hiccuped beside him, the lightly rancid scent of alcohol floating in the air of the karaoke room as empty assorted plates laid on the wooden table.
They were the only chuds left behind by their friends, the others drunkenly taking pictures outside of the KTV like they were all paparazzi waiting for a celebrity.
Was it bad the two bums could hear them outside?
Probably. Who cares at this point.
Parrot, thankfully, was just mildly tipsy; as he was not one to drink much at hang outs like these.
Theo, however—was very intoxicated.
In other words, —actually, Zam’s words before she started annoying Flame to take pictures with her outside— “hella stinky stanky drunkie that smells worse than Billy.” She hiccuped, while ignoring she, herself fit the criteria perfectly.
Parrot stifled a giggle at the thought, the idea of Zam being a hypocrite was already known— and tested many times— but still funny.
Theo, unlike his probably nearly sober best friend sitting beside him was still hiccuping, eyes lazy but restless, darting around everywhere like the two of them were going to get fucking jumped in a private room, while being in the middle of buttfuck mall, nowhere.
Yeah, he was drunk.
Maybe.
A little probably.
“Hand me ‘nother shot Parpar,” Theo tittered, the annoying nickname usually used by two other chuds in Parrot’s life that was held dear in his heart.
Parrot turned his head to the stupid cockatiel hybrid sitting beside him, a dumb smile pulling at the corners of Theo’s lips like he was going to say the funniest shit ever.
Parrot blinked once, registering the idiotic words of the equally idiotic Theo.
“Huh–“ the parrot said dumbly, brain suddenly becoming slow and stupid as well. ‘What did he just say bruh?’ Parrot thought to himself.
Theo tapped Parrot’s shoulder now, sweaty hand unsteady but confident, the alcohol still obviously strongly pumping in his veins.
“More—“ he hiccuped, again, “one more shot bro. Then I stop.” He paused, as if he was bestowing the best deal upon Parrot like it was nothing.
“I’ll go—home, bruh,” he finished. “I’ll ev–en call,” he paused again, trying to remember who was supposed to pick him up and get him home, “Ken to drive me bro.” He sniffed.
Parrot rolled his eyes, his thoughts slow and heavy like trying to swim through viscous honey.
“Ken can’t drive—right?” He asked the guy, the questioning tone received strangely by the cockatiel hybrid.
But then again, this chud was drunk. He was excused for once.
Theo tilted his head questioning, like the idea of Ken not being able to drive was something strange. “He can! I swear!— I swear…—“ he trailed off again, but Parrot ignored it.
“He drove me to that— that museum! Yanno, that one, the one where we— we like…I promise they did!”
“That’s– that like– like, blue one bro?”
“Nah– Nah! Like like—, the one where we ate tacos! That one, the one with— with good tacos!” Theo slurred, each somewhat coherent words and syllable blurring all together until it was one long, drawn out, word of nahnhalikeiektheonehwereweatetacos— before pausing and continuing with thatonetahteonwithwtuhgoodtecos.
Parrot nodded understandably, like he was able to decipher the language that Theo’s tongue was spilling out from his mouth.
“Ok— okay bro. I guess they did.” He whispered, before grabbing the half empty vodka bottle from the table (honestly, he just grabbed the first somewhat full drink he could grab, and he wasn’t even sure it was vodka), back cracking like he was some old grandpa.
“Wow.” Theo said wonderfully and woefully. “You— you unc.”
The deadpan yet surprised tone of Theo’s voice was again ignored.
“You older than me.”
“No– no. I’m younger.”
“…what?”
“You just too small to understand bro.”
“??? Are you calling me a small bird?”
Theo closed his eyes nonchalantly (Parrot notes that Theo thinks he’s nonchalant) before whispering.
“I’m just the biggest bird Parrot. Heh.”
This back and forth happened for about roughly five minutes, before Parrot remembered that he was supposed to pass Theo one last shot before he called Ken, Wato, and Wifies.
‘Oopsie.’
Parrot grabbed the neck of the clear, half finished vodka bottle, before passing the entire bottle to Theo as if he was expecting the guy to chug it all down. He didn’t even bother pouring it in, like an idiot.
Theo took the neck of the bottle from Parrot’s hands, sighing contently as he opened it up one last time. “We— we won’t get bullied by them for drinking this much right rotrot?” He grinned, eye to eye.
Parrot, for probably the nth time for this god forsaken night, rolled his eyes so far into his head that it seemed painful to Theo. It probably was but it’s Parrot. It’s fine.
“Mi maw mi maw. Genuinely they won’t. I pinky promise bro.” Parrot answered.
“Okay pa–r—ot.” Theo replied, drawing out the syllables in the most insufferable and probably most ridiculous way possible.
Theo looked at him like he was waiting for something, holding the bottle like he was waiting for something, someone, or whatever to do something first.
Meanwhile, Parrot was already stretching his left arm towards his leather jacket, trying to get his phone so that he could call his boyfriends.
Theo blinked. Blinked again.
Parrot pulled on the long sleeve of his jacket, too lazy to actually stand up and grab it.
Once he actually grabbed it, the parrot turned his head again to Theo, wondering why he wasn’t chugging down the vodka already.
“… bro… you genuinely gotta chug that down…”
Parrot whispered, like he was telling his deepest and darkest secret.
“Okay.” The cockatiel replied, before actually moving both of his hands to the body of the vodka bottle, shoving the mouth of it into his mouth which was wide open, and turning his body at an angle before falling down back flat on the leather seating.
He then began chugging it down, sucking it as if it was his lifeline, looking like an innocent infant figuring out how to drink from the nipple of a baby bottle.
Parrot turned back to his jacket, patting it down trying to figure out which fuckass pocket he left his musty phone in.
“Ya like that Theo?” Parrot asked without looking at his best friend, too busy with his own jacket to care about him.
“Hagyduejewmhmmm—!” Theo mumbled loudly, the mouth of the bottle practically making Theo’s words undecipherable.
The burn of the vodka comforted Theo, the liquid going down his throat and leaving an unpleasant aftertaste didn’t seem to bother him much.
“Okay. I don’t think that’s a word but okay. Opinions exist.”
“Mhammsm…”
Parrot finally gripped the phone case of his android, rushing to try and remember his password.
He typed in his birthday, Wifies’ birthday, Wato’s birthday, even tried Pesto’s out of all things.
Password is incorrect.
Password is incorrect.
Password is incorrect.
Password is incorrect.
His mind felt like it was sloshing around in a wine bottle, spinning and spinning around until his head hurt.
“Theo—do you know my password?” Parrot grunted dumbly, as if Theo out of all people on earth would know.
Theo pulled on the neck of the glass bottle, the rest of the vodka left in the glass spilling all over his face.
“Dunno,” he shrugged, but remembered he was holding a glass bottle halfway, and awkwardly stopped before continuing his sentence with a hiccup.
“It’s probably like… 676767…. Dunno, Boosfer probably changed it before he ghosted and ran out with—“ Theo trailed off, ignoring the continued wet feeling on his chin as he tried to recall who Boosfer ran off with. “Maybe Wemmbu?… dunno dunno… Flame and Wemmbu did start making out in the bathroom before allat so Idk.”
Parrot ignored the absurdity of the answer, and actually tried the password, tapping it onto the smooth screen with sticky fingers.
Ding!
“Also, did you just genuinely say ‘idk’ irl??”
“Then why did you say 'irl’ in real life if you’re questioning me??”
“Touche, touche.” Theo grunted, before placing the glass bottle in his grubby hands on the floor.
Parrot scrolled looking for Wifies’ contact, too lazy to go look for Wato’s, his eyes staying on the phone screen that was emitting blue light.
He clicked it, a ringing sound crisp in the air as Wifies immediately answered, voice sleepy yet somewhat alive.
“Parrot… I thought you were supposed to catch a taxi home. Why're you calling at this ungodly hour bro…” Wifies yawned, footsteps in the background becoming more pronounced as Wifies continued talking to his phone.
Parrot could hear Wato grab the dog hybrid’s cellphone, shushing him quickly before actually speaking to his other boyfriend. “You need us to pick you up ‘rot?” Wato snuck a glance at Wifies, before turning back to the phone in his hands, “You need me to pick you up?” He corrected.
“Prob. I’m too tired to catch a taxi, the others are too drunk to even be allowed in the front row of the car, and I still have Theo as well.” He paused. “Call Ken too lowkey. I thin–k he’s still awake?” Parrot hiccuped, the scent of alcohol still lingering on his body.
“M’kay. We’ll be there in like—half an hour maybe? Traffic is pretty clear at this time.” Wato said absentmindedly, looking at the alarm clock beside Wifies.
The wolf hybrid shook Wifies’ hip, trying to get him out of bed. “ ‘fies, get up—we have to pick up ‘rot.” His voice was almost equally as sleepy as the other, but at least they were out of bed.
“Fine–fine— l’ll get up, l’ll meet you in the living room after I find my shoes.” Wifies groaned, slipping out of the comfortable king size bed which he very much wanted to stay on, but he guessed Parrot (and technically Theo too) was more special than sleep.
Wato walked out of the shared room, bare feet touching the cold tile floor as he skimmed through Wifies’ contacts, looking for Ken.
“For being a best friend Wifies somehow doesn’t have his contact pinned…” They mumbled, going down the apartment staircase.
He dialed their number, Ken’s face appearing immediately as he answered.
“Wato! Did Wifies or someone tell you where Theo is? He isn’t answering his phone! Again!" The cat hybrid’s worried voice rang out in the cold night. “He told me he’d be home by like— twelve! It’s like, 3 already!”
Wato sighed. “You gotta pick him up. He’s with Parrot, they’re too drunk to catch a taxi or something. Me and ‘fies are going to pick Parrot up already.”
Wato heard Ken’s long and tired sigh through his phone speakers, the jingling of car keys could be heard distantly.
“I’ll be there.” They grumbled, ending the call before Wato could.
—
Ken sighed as he pulled up to the block of the mini mall, needing to drive to the middle of nowhere to pick up his stupid boyfriend.
“Why did I fall in love with this specific idiot man…” they groused, his eyes rolling as they slipped out of his sleek dark green car, walking towards the entrance of the mall.
The mall was almost fully closed and empty, the only place open was the lobby of the KTV rooms, where Theo told him nearly eight hours earlier which room they were going to have amazing drinks and sing their hearts out.
Man, it’s such a struggle having a stupid yet loving boyfriend.
They verified their identity to the receptionist, before going down the winding, narrow hallway filled with doors to private videoke rooms, stepping on cheap red carpet as he smelled the lingering scent of thinly veiled alcohol and cigarettes.
He finally found the room, finding Wifies and Wato already there, trying to shake their boyfriend awake as Theo was left in the far corner of the leather couch, clutching a bottle of beer.
Ken sighed for probably the nth time since they arrived at the mall.
He stepped into the private room, the scent of alcoholic drinks becoming much more stronger than the outside.
Theo fell onto the floor drunken, Ken jogging towards him to make sure he was okay, their knees on the bare floor as he shook their boyfriend, his legs buckling to the floor.
Theo still held the bottle in his hands like it was his first born, sitting up and nursing it in his hands. Only then, Theo actually realized Ken was there.
Immediately, he dropped the bottle, letting it touch the floor softly as Ken’s eyes widened.
“Theo what the heck are you—“ Ken tried to say, before being rudely interrupted by Theo pulling his chin closer to him, his tongue touching their dry lips.
“Mhm!?” Ken mumbled, questioning what Theo wanted at this moment.
However he leaned closer into the kiss, letting Theo’s tongue wander in his mouth.
The cockatiel hybrid’s mouth smelled heavily of beer and other alcoholic drinks probably, which meant he was pretty drunk.
Okay, maybe that was a bit obvious.
Theo pulled Ken closer, their tongues entwining with each other.
Ken could feel the sloppy kiss Theo was trying to give him, trying to reciprocate, but that wasn’t easy.
The cockatiel hybrid’s tongue separated from the other’s warm tongue, much to Ken’s disappointment, to lick the warm and velvet walls of the cat hybrid’s mouth.
They probably weren’t going home early.