Chapter Text
I remember...
It was Valentine's Day. And even though February was considered a colder month, the view could be mistaken as a warm summer evening if I disregarded the cold winds that blew from time to time and the coats and jackets I wore to keep warm. Kamakura was a beautiful coastal city. I could understand why many romance anime were set here. The sun was setting into the horizon, falling to make way for the moon within a few hours. The crystal clear waves gently lapped at the damp shores. I took in the crisp salty air of the beach as I continued to pace next to him. At that age, I would never have admitted my liking of him to anyone, not even him. The only thing I loved more than the views and feeling of Kamakura as I walked home was being with him: Sae Itoshi.
Sae and I were walking home together, on our favorite route, the long way home beside the beach. Though the route seemed like an eternity to complete, I never minded it. Sae and I liked the beach, but I liked his company even more. We walked on the sidewalk, the old gray one that divided the tan grains of sand from the tough black roads of Kamakura.
I often wondered if Sae realized how much of a catch he was, especially on a day like this. We were walking home, but something was different compared to other days. Rather than Sae holding a football ball, it was me holding on to his prized possession. In both his hands were two bags filled to the brim with cards, chocolates, treats, stuffed animals, and other gifts, one was red and the other was pink with a gigantic heart in the center. I guess my liking for Sae was not an unpopular opinion. He was a catch among girls. Sae was a rising football star with a good face and great looks. However, I've always wondered how other girls saw Sae. Was it the same? Was it different from my view? Did they value his looks or his football talents? Possibly a bit of everything to an extent.
I've always known that Sae was good looking. I liked to look at his eyes as we spoke to each other. They were a piercing vibrant teal that appeared intimidating at first, but I found them to be the opposite. I found his eyes passionate, especially when he played football. It was beautiful whenever he grew slightly happy from scoring a goal. Yet, in a setting like the beach, his eyes became like crystals that reflected what he saw. His eyes grow lighter and gentler, especially at the beach. We liked to watch the sunset together from time to time with ice creams in hand. I hoped that Sae never finds out that I watch him at sunset from time to time as well, watching how his eyes reflect the hues of the horizon. It's almost as if his eyes reflected only beautiful things. I also liked his hair, even if he had the stupid looking bangs going on. His maroon locks that flowed as he ran at a game or as he walked beside me on a windy day always looked mesmerizing. Shinatsuhiko was lucky to be able to brush through Sae's hair at any time with ease. And of course I liked Sae because of his football talents, but probably in a different way than others would think. I think it is cool that Sae is talented at football. Athleticism and discipline are both attractive traits. Yet, what I valued most from his football talents was seeing his passion and level headedness at every game. Sae isn't a rowdy person so he didn't cheer excessively or do back flips to celebrate. Instead, Sae remains calm and gives himself a proud smile. And in that smile, I catch myself staring at his face. I understand his passion, his love for the game, and the happiness he exudes. Most importantly though, what I like about Sae was his character. As corny as that sounded, I appreciated his straightforward demeanor, his patience, and how easy it was to talk to him. Contrary to popular belief, Sae was a good listener and a decent conversationalist. He just has to like the person to get started and Sae knows how to keep a conversation going. I felt comfortable speaking to him about anything, even if I feel him judging me at times. He gives good advice and he has never once disregarded my feelings...at least whenever he's alone with me. He's pretty rude to his team mates from time to time. However, as I already established, I would never tell Sae any of these things.
"So all those gifts in there...what are you going to do with it?" I asked as I looked at the gift bags then to Sae, "Seems like a lot to consume on your own. I mean especially as an athlete."
Sae simply responded, "I'll give my parents all the premium chocolates. The rest of the candy I'll divide with my brother. Everything else, like the cards and stuffed animals, I'll throw away."
Sae thought he read my thoughts and asked, "Why? Did you want anything?"
I swiftly shook my head, "No, I'm okay."
I was a little happy because it meant that Sae didn't take any girl seriously this Valentine's day. Even so, I decided to ask something out of curiosity.
"But you're going to seriously keep at least one gift right? Like you have to give at least one classmate a chance you know?" I said as I tried to look at his face.
"No."
I frowned. His straightforwardness was making it hard to pry information out.
"Well you're certainly picky. Is it because no one is your type?"
"No." Sae said, still looking forward, "No one is worth my time."
"And why not? Is it because no one has the haircut you like?"
I saw Sae's eyes looking down at me confused, "What?"
"You know, like a haircut. There's been a rumor going on that you like girls with long hair."
"Who started that lukewarm rumor? It's false. Anyone who cares about looks is superficial and stupid."
"Really? So what would you go for?" I answered with sass.
"Someone with a good character and gives me comfort and happiness." Sae shot back.
"What a cornball of an answer." I rolled my eyes.
We continued to walk in silence down the road. The two of us were slowly approaching a turn that forced us to part ways. I was beginning to feel disappointed that our time would be ending soon.
I then caught Sae moving both bags into one hand. All of a sudden he touched my hair. Shocked, I stopped walking as he did too. I watched as Sae gently laced his fingers with my locks. Sae squinted his eyes to investigate or admire my hair, I had no idea. His face slowly grew closer to my own.
"Your hair, it's getting longer." Sae notes before letting go.
I could feel myself blush as I swat his hand out of my face, "So what? I didn't grow it out for you or anything."
I added as I fixed my hair since Sae basically destroyed it, "I grew it out for an anime character. Kuroo likes girls with long hair."
"I never insinuated that it was for me." Sae mentioned.
I knew I was in deep trouble. I swallowed and tried to calm myself down while trying to figure out what to say next to save my tail.
Sae said to me as he carefully touched my hair again, "Keep growing it out, it suits you. But you don't need to change a single thing about yourself..."
***
"Kenzo! Could you turn down the TV please? I'm trying to finish a book for school. We start in two days." I complained to my twin.
Kenzo rolled his eyes and only turned the volume up.
My mom yelled at Kenzo, "Kenzo! Your sister needs to read."
I shot Kenzo a stare and he smirked at me, clicking the volume button up twice.
Kenzo leaned back on the couch, "Relax, I turned on your favorite channel."
I looked at the screen and noticed that it was the ending of a live game. The TV featured a football team celebrating their win together and running across the field to hug. I noticed that the winning team was Re Al, the club that Sae was scouted for. I set down my book and paid attention.
"When was the last time you spoke to him?" Kenzo asked me once he ate a few chips.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" I rolled my eyes.
"I would. That's why I asked."
It was embarrassing to admit. It had been months since I last spoke to Sae. He stopped speaking to me all of a sudden. At a certain point, I stopped trying to contact him too. It wasn't just me however. He stopped speaking to all of our friends. I assumed he was busy. I don't blame him. Not only did he have to move to a whole different country, he didn't speak Spanish prior, he attended an academy for young football players, and this shot was a gamble towards his future. I wouldn't want to get in the way of his future. All I wanted was for Sae to be happy with his decisions and remember our promise at least.
I said to my twin, "It's been a few months."
"Better than the rest of us, it's been a year." Kenzo shrugged, "Seems like he wanted to remember you last."
I kept quiet and continued to watch the TV screen. It looked like the game wasn't anything extremely serious. It wasn't a final game or anything. It was likely a qualifying game or one in a competition series. Pretty soon, family and other loved ones were allowed to enter the field to congratulate the players for the win. I tried to search for Sae on the screen. The TV showed countless of families running up to the players hugging and kissing them. I assumed Sae went back into the locker room already. He didn't have any family in Spain.
I stood up with the intention of returning back to my bedroom. It was getting boring.
"Aw hell no." I heard Kenzo murmured in shock.
I turned around to see what he was referring to.
There it was. My heart dropped down to the floor, like ice cream melting on a hot day. I felt disappointment, shock, or something of the sort pool in my chest. I began to ache and it became difficult to breathe. My eyes watched Sae over the TV as tears gathered and blurred my vision. His lips met with a girl who looked around our age and she was gorgeous. She was Spanish, blonde, tall and thin, with light skin. She looked like a model, the very opposite of me. When the two pulled away from the kiss, I watched Sae give her a genuine smile. The sound of the TV faded in the background. All I heard was that the couple recently went public, something like that.
I wiped away my tears and grabbed my book to rush up the stairs.
"Y/N are you okay?" Kenzo asked as the TV went silent.
I assumed Kenzo shut off the TV.
I quickly changed into something appropriate to wear going out. Something simple and casual. Within a few minutes, Kenzo was in front of my bedroom door.
Kenzo frantically knocked, "Y/N! Y/N! Do not do anything stupid in there!"
I swung the door open to reveal that I had changed out of my pajamas.
I sniffled as I whispered to Kenzo, "Just leave me alone."
"I'm going to get a haircut."