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Kakashi was already gone when Iruka woke up. That wasn’t unusual, he often left early and Iruka was used to it now. Back in the beginning when they’d first started dating it had made him a little insecure, but he knew now that it’s just how Kakashi was. At the end of the day, he always came back.
Today however it did surprise him a little, because Iruka was up early himself, planning to visit the memorial shrine before he headed to the academy. It was the anniversary of the attack by the nine-tailed fox, which also meant it was the anniversary of his parent’s deaths.
He walked to the shrine alone, a new layer of sadness added to this day in recent years, because the Third Hokage was gone. Over the years he’d sometimes run into the old man here and it had always been a comfort. That would never happen again.
It was different now in another way too, because he had someone he cared about. Maybe he should have talked to Kakashi about it, maybe he should have asked him to come along, but it had always been something he’d done alone, and it just really hadn’t occurred to him to share this. He felt a little ashamed by that, because perhaps it should have. It didn’t matter though, not when he arrived at the shrine to find Kakashi standing before the stone, head bowed in thought. Of course it was a significant day, one on which it was likely everyone in the village had lost someone, even Kakashi. Iruka knew for sure Kakashi had lost his sensei that day.
Iruka approached making sure to tread heavily, so Kakashi would be aware of his presence, until he was standing beside Kakashi in silent contemplation. Of course he still mourned his parents, but he didn’t miss them quite like he used to. Back then he’d been so alone, so angry and scared and confused, but time had healed much of that, and he could honour them now as the brave and noble shinobi they had been.
He laid two white gladiolus on the shrine that he had purchased from Mrs Yamanaka’s shop.
Mother. Father. Can you see me now? This man right here beside me is as brave and brilliant as you were. I love him. He helped fill the void you left. I hope that makes you both happy.
He wondered who in particular Kakashi was here to mourn, but even after all this time, and all that they had shared, it felt intrusive to ask.
“I’ve never seen you here before,” Kakashi observed, breaking the silence.
“It’s the anniversary of the ninetails attack.”
“Right…” Kakashi said, as though he hadn’t realised, which caused Iruka to wonder why Kakashi was here if not because of that.
“I come here on this day every year, to honour my parents.”
They stood in silence a while longer, until Kakashi offered something.
“I come here every day.”
This is why he leaves so early? It was heartbreaking. Iruka wasn’t exactly sure how to respond, beyond assuring Kakashi he was here for him.
“Kakashi...”
He slipped his hand into Kakashi’s. Kakashi continued to gaze down at the stone, his voice not altering at all.
“Play hooky today, Iruka. Stay with me.”
I shouldn’t. I don’t want to let people down. But Kakashi opens up so rarely, and if I say no, I’d be letting him down. He’s the one that matters most.
“Sure.”
They went into the forest and found a nice spot by a stream, with soft grass and some good, shady trees, settling down together to watch the water flow by. It was a beautiful and peaceful place.
“I’m sure you’ve wondered about my sharingan,” Kakashi began. “About where it came from...”
“Yes,” Iruka answered honestly.
“His name was Obito Uchiha. He was a member of my squad back when I was with Minato sensei. He was mortally wounded on a mission, and before he died he offered me this, my own eye had been destroyed in battle. It was the day I made jonin and the day he awakened the sharingan, back in the Third Great Ninja War.”
Of course Iruka had surmised that the eye came from an Uchiha who had passed, but he’d always assumed it had been taken after the fact, in a show of respect and in honour, but this was much more tragic.
“What was Obito like?”
Kakashi smiled softly in remembrance.
“He was a terrible ninja. A crybaby and a coward, I didn’t like him very much. But that day he proved himself to be a better shinobi than me. He’s the one that finally convinced me teammates matter more than missions. And right before he died he told me that I should take his sharingan, so that we could see the future together. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but there’s one thing I know he’d be most proud of...”
“Naruto and Sakura. You’ve trained them well.”
“No, more than that, he’d be proud I am opening my heart to you. Obito was a romantic, and he loved happy endings. I hope he really can see me now, and know that I’m trying so hard not to be the cold, arrogant, insensitive person that he knew.”
Iruka leaned into Kakashi’s side and laced their fingers together.
“I’m sure he can.”
And I see it too, Kakashi. I know how hard you try for us. Even when you’re silent. Even when you stumble. That’s why it means so much.
“Hey,” Kakashi said after a while. “You know what else today is?”
“Hm?”
“Naruto’s birthday. I wonder how he’s doing with Master Jiraiya…”
That was a thought that made Iruka smile.
“It’s hard to say who’d be annoying who more.”
“That’s true,” Kakashi agreed, sounding amused.
“I’ll bet they’re both learning a lot from each other.”
“Hmm, Naruto is remarkable like that. He taught me a lot.”
“Like what?” Iruka asked, voicing his curiosity because Kakashi was in the mood to talk.
“He showed me it was okay to open my heart again. That no matter how hard things are, how many times you get knocked down, there’s always hope if you keep reaching for it.”
“I’m really glad he did,” Iruka said, snuggling into Kakashi’s side. Without that lesson, they wouldn’t be here like this now.
“Me too.”
It was true that Naruto had made them all better people.
“Do you think he’ll come home soon?” Iruka wondered. “It’s not the same without him around.”
“I don’t know. You and I know as well as anyone that he’s not exactly the quickest learner. But I do know this. He’ll come back when he’s ready, and when he does he’ll be unrivalled within the village. He’ll be the one we all count on”.
In terms of jutsu and power it was true, but that wasn’t all there was to a ninja.
“He’ll need us too, Kakashi. We’re all in this together.“
“Yeah,” Kakashi agreed, nuzzling into Iruka’s hair. “I finally understand that.”