Work Text:
It has been an excessively long week. Specielly for Usopp. He went through so many things and felt like it's never gonna be over. He doesn't want to eat, doesn't want to sleep, doesn't want to be awake. Every breath he took just burn his throat. There is a million thoughts in his head right now but not a single helpful one.
He just wants to be with people who accept him just the way he is. With his wonderful friends. His friends are fearless. They can even beat giants. All of them are so smart and people around them always takes them serious. They look so good with their perfect bodies and faces. Sadly it seems like none of them thinks the same thing about him. Well they are not even friends anymore.
8 years ago
Syrup Village
It was a late at night. Usopp was home and alone. He wanted to sleep quickly so he can see beautiful dreams. He can see his mother... maybe he can even see his father! He cannot fool himself about his real life. Being alone in a small village is not easy as a kid. And when the villagers doesn't really love you it's so much worse. That's why he tries to sleep so hard but he hears something from corridor. Oh no... Sounds like steps. Is he not alone at home? Is there a thief? A killer? A GHOST??! He's trembling and hiding under the blanket. Praying and crying and more praying. He can't even move a inch because of fear.
He remembers the words his mother said to him before dying. She told him to be brave just like his father. He should do what his mother said. But how can he be like someone that he doesn't remember? He can't even imagine his face. Or his voice. He doesn't know his hair color, eye color, height.. That doesn't seem possible to him. He's crying.. and with some passing time he fall asleep..
Today
It's been like 4 days since his old friends went an another adventure together. With a super cool ship. They called it The Thousand Sunny he believes. They probably eating Sanji's tasty food right now while laughing like crazy.. He wonders if any of them missing him and wonder what he's doing?.. They did not even ask him to come with them? It's very surprising. He thought they are real friends. They left him their behind. Well, he left them behind first so he guesses this is what he deserves.
What will he do now? How can he come back his village all alone? He's so weak and grand line is dangerous as hell. And if he returns home what will he say to kaya? No.. he can't look at Kaya's face. She's gonna ask about Going Merry and Luffy and the others.. And what about the Usopp pirates.. There is no way he can tell the truth to them but he is so sick of his own lies. He doesn't even wanna go home. Nobody's home. Villagers must be happy when he finally leave the island. There is not a single reason to come back. There is no way he's turning back.
Now he suddenly wonders if Yasopp felt the same thing like Usopp just did. Is that why he never return at home? Maybe he thought his wife doesn't wanna see someone like him anymore and their son must hate him or maybe he doesn't even know he has a father. Uhh... does he also felt like he has nowhere to go? He actually always had a place to come back. If these are his thoughts he was so wrong. Usopp always hoping to meet his father someday but now... He feel such a huge anger inside him that he never felt towards him. He was the first person who left him behind. He was so busy about spending time with Luffy. He did not bother to visit him while he was all alone. Luffy was not alone but Yasopp was with him. That's not fair. Now luffy with his friends but Usopp alone again.
And Going Merry is dead. Now he feels regret about their fight about Merry but he doesn't think he is fully wrong. Luffy was so ready to left Merry behind. Usopp knew luffy was also sad about her but why no one did understand Merry's meaning to Usopp? Going Merry is Usopp's strawhat. That ship means everything to him. Why did no one try to understand him? But then again he hates himself.
Maybe there is no reason to living more days. He has nowhere to stay and no money. Maybe he should be brave for just 20 seconds and jump from the tall building he was standing on. Just for 20 seconds and he will be fine. He should be brave. He should jump..
And he did. He became a warrior of the sea just for 20 seconds. Well.. no one know this but that is fine. He is fine now.