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'Zuko?" Mai asked, lifting her head from its position against the young prince's shoulder.The two had gotten up early to get some time together before Zuko's Agni Kai at sunrise.
"Yeah?" he responded. Mai looked up from the dark, early morning sky to meet his eyes. Those beautiful, deep gold eyes she had come to love as much as the boy they belonged to.
"I'm scared," she admitted, her voice sounding pitifully small for a twelve year old. Then again, she was raised to not be heard, so it was fitting.
"Of what?" Zuko asked her softly. Mai blushed and smacked his arm.
"You know what, stupid," she reprimanded, "You have to fight an Agni Kai in three hours." She tried to keep her voice steady, tried to sound annoyed, not terrified. But the crack at the end of her sentence, and the tear that made its way down her face gave her away.
Zuko's face softened, he reached up and gently touched the side of Mai's face. Ever since they started dating a few months ago, the two were always trying to find ways to touch each other. Whether it be holding hands as they walked through the palace gardens to get away from their parents, or Zuko holding her in a tight embrace as they leaned against the tree by the turtleduck pond, like they were doing now.
"That guy's old and senile," he said with all the self confidence he could muster, "Even you could beat him in an Agni Kai." Mai blinked.
"I can't bend," she said blankly.
"Exactly." Zuko grinned. "All you'd need to do is throw one of your knives at him and he'd see the reflection of the torches in the blade and freak out." Mai laughed, something she only ever did around Zuko.
"I hope you're right," she said, after she had pulled herself back together. She leaned against Zuko's chest and wrapped her arms around him, not wanting to let go for fear of losing the greatest thing that had ever happened to her.
Zuko held on just as tightly.
Even though he was good at hiding his emotions, Mai still knew him well enough to know that he was scared. The slightest tremble of his hand as he touched her jaw, the way his cocky smile didn't quite reach his eyes. But she also happened to know the old general he was fighting, and Zuko was right, he was really old and not a very good bender. Zuko, while nowhere near as talented as Azula, had worked hard on his firebending and had become extremely skilled. It would be no problem at all for him to beat that cranky old man and be done with it all, Mai told herself.
They sat like that until Zuko heard footsteps coming up the courtyard, and they scrambled to separate and look innocent. Even though they both had been fully clothed (and 12 and 13 years old) it was still considered indecent in the fire nation royal court to be so close together during courtship, but before marriage.
"Prince Zuko?" a servant, probably one of the higher ranking ones, if Mai had to guess based on the way he dressed, said. Zuko stood up immediately.
"Yes?" he asked.
"It's almost sunrise," the young man answered, "it's time for your-" he faltered, looking almost ashamed.
"Agni Kai," Zuko said for him, no emotion visible on his face.
"Y-yes sir," the man said uncomfortably. Mai could understand. How exactly are you supposed to feel when telling a thirteen year old boy he's about to fight to the death in an arena?
"Come on," Zuko said to her, waving her up. At the servants' protests, Zuko said, "She can come with me to the gate, there's no rule saying she can't." He grabbed Mai's hand and brushed past the flustered young man.
As they walked hand in hand through the palace, Mai's anxiety grew. She relaxed her stance, lifted her nose, and tried to act like she didn't care about anything. It's what she always did when her emotions got too big. Her mother would always berate her for caring too much about little things, so she trained herself to not care about anything. It's for the best, she told herself. But she still couldn't shake the lingering sense of panic building in her chest.
Suddenly, Zuko stopped beside her, his hand pulling hers back. She almost snapped at him, before she realized they had already reached the door to the arena. Well, it didn't lead directly into the arena. It led to the small passage under the floor, with a trap door so the participants could make a dramatic entrance. Mai didn't really see why they needed all the extra flair. Just have the fighters walk in through a door like a normal person. But, she thought to herself, Fire Nation nobility isn't exactly normal.
She looked up at Zuko, his hand still in hers. He had made no effort to move towards that door. In fact, he hadn't moved since they got here. The look on his face concerned Mai. It was one she didn't see very often.
Fear.
That alone made her heart rate spike more than any of the day's previous anxiety. When Zuko turned his head to look at her, he didn't try to hide it.
"I-" he stammered, "I don't know if I can win this Mai."
The anxiety in his voice only heightened her own, but she shoved it down. Zuko needed her right now. She grabbed the collar of his robe, pulling his face close to hers. Zuko made a sound that could be classified as a squawk, but Mai ignored it.
"You're Fire Prince Zuko," she said, an rarely seen intensity in her voice, "it's your destiny to rule this nation someday. This little argument's not gonna matter in twenty years when you're Firelord and that old son of a bitch is dead." Zuko smiled a little at that.
"You can and you will win this fight," Mai continued, "and I'll be waiting for you when you do." She moved her hands from his collar to his face. Looking into his eyes, she moved closer to him until their faces were a mere inch apart. They looked at each other for a few seconds before they heard a loud voice, probably one of the fire sages, through the door announcing that there were three minutes before the match began. Neither of them moved.
Mai put her hands back on Zuko's shoulders. She closed her eyes and planted a kiss on his nose.
"Don't die," she said quietly. Before she had even opened her eyes, Zuko had grabbed her face and pressed their lips together. Mai's eyes flew open in surprise. But she quickly closed them again and wrapped her arms around Zuko's neck. She kissed him back as well as she could. She had never actually kissed someone before, and neither had Zuko, so they were kinda flying blind. But Mai didn't really mind.
When Zuko pulled away after about fifteen seconds, (the best fifteen seconds of Mai's life so far) he held her face gently, a small smile on his own. Mai held on tighter to the back of his neck, hoping that she could preserve this moment forever.
"I'll try," Zuko told her.
Just then, they were startled out of their little bubble of bliss by a loud, deep horn sounding. Zuko's eyes widened.
"I gotta go," he said, "one minute." Mai nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She kissed his cheek one last time and turned and ran back down the hall. She twisted and turned up two different staircases before she came to the door leading into the stands. She took a few seconds at the door to pull herself together, and then pushed it open.
She immediately spotted Ty Lee a few rows down, sitting next to some old fussy politicians. She seemed to be talking their ear off about how their auras were probably dull and grey. Serves them right, thought Mai, watching their irritated expressions as she made her way towards them. Azula had made sure that Mai and Ty Lee had good seats, even though she herself had to sit in the front row with her uncle.
Mai sat down right as the trapdoor on Zuko's side of the stage opened. She shushed Ty Lee when she tried to say hi, and pointed down to the arena. Ty Lee understood, immediately snapping her mouth shut and turning to watch. As the crowd cheered, Mai struggled to get a look at Zuko's face as he rose up on his platform. What she saw made her lips draw upwards a little. He had a confident smirk and was waving at the crowd. Then, as was the tradition, turned around so his back was facing the other side of the stage, so he couldn't see his opponent.
Mai's eyes were drawn over to the other end of the arena as the trapdoor flew open and the old general Zuko had spoken out to rose up to the stage. Except this man didn’t look like the general, he was too muscular. His hair was much shinier and his beard much longer. His face was covered in shadow from the torches lit behind him, but Mai suppressed a gasp as she realized who it was. When he stepped forwards, all hope she might have had was erased when she saw the face of Firelord Ozai.
The horn blew again and Zuko whipped around, throwing his robe off as he did. Mai saw the exact moment his confidence died, replaced immediately by pure fear. She felt her own heartbeat quickening, an uncontrollable sense of panic gripping her heart. She looked on in horror as everything seemed to move in slow motion. She saw Zuko drop to his knees, heard him beg for mercy, saying he was loyal to his father and never meant to speak out of turn, she heard Ozai's cruel laugh, saw Zuko look up at his father's face, a glimmer of hope in his eyes as Ozai knelt and took his face in his hand.
Then all she heard were screams.
All she saw was a blinding light coming from Ozai's hand on Zuko's face. Realizing what he was doing, she stood and screamed at him to stop, but her voice was lost in the cheers (cheers, these people were cheering as they watched a grown man burn a child's face. The thought made Mai sick to her stomach,) and gasps of the crowd. She felt hot tears roll down her face as Ty Lee placed her hands on her shoulders and pulled her back to her seat. She wrapped her arms around Mai's shoulders as the older girl just stared, unable to move or speak.
That was the last time she saw Zuko, as he was ushered away by a team of medics. The very next day, an official statement was released by the court saying how Prince Zuko had been banished from the Fire Nation, and was to be arrested on sight should he step foot on Fire Nation territory again. His crime: intolerable disrespect to the Fire Lord for refusing to defend himself in combat.
Mai almost laughed at the words. Only Ozai could call a complete surrender “intolerable disrespect”. Only Ozai could look his kneeling son in the eye and then burn it off.
As she sat on her bed, re-reading the poster stating the announcement that Ty Lee had snagged from somewhere in the city, a single tear fell onto the parchment.
That was the last tear Mai let fall for a long time