Chapter Text
You and Jeongin had always known each other since you were little.
Everybody thought the two of you were not to be trusted alone together. Every teacher that taught at the elementary school you went to knew to not let you two mix. You'd bicker, fight, argue about every little thing.
You both went to a different middle school—finally, some space between each other for a few years would help. Though the truth was, you both had silly little crushes on the other and never knew how to deal with it, which somehow led to the two of you to hatred.
In high school, you reunited with Jeongin. He still looked young, adorable even. Being older, and slightly more mature, you two became close. Inseparable best friends.
That was until Jeongin truly realized he liked you. A lot. He was stupid, he thought you probably would never like him really. Especially since you 'hated' him as a kid. He thought he had no chance at all. So, you remained friends, but a few years later once you both graduated, he got a girlfriend. A horrible one truly. She was jealous of your friendship. She wanted him to have no one but her. So she lied. She framed you, saying you were envious of her, slapped her, when in reality you would never hurt anyone over jealousy. However, for some reason, Jeongin took her word. He really believed her thinking you would do such a thing. It broke you, truly. Years of friendship gone because one girl had been jealous enough to lie to her boyfriend.
You were left helplessly in love with Jeongin.
Alone by yourself, still not over your old friend trying to forget just for one night, you get some old wine in a forgotten cupboard and drink. Drink until you're numb and don't remember why you got drunk in the first place.
Though what you hadn't expected was your alcohol making you an idiot.
You texted him. On a random Thursday night. You hadn't spoken to him in 5 months and your drunk self decided to dm him on Instagram...
You had been crying, drunk and lonely. Your thumb slightly trembled as you went on his profile to message him.
You: r u there
i know u hate me
i wish you really knew
You pull up your sleeve to wipe away a tear on your phone. He never replied. You see in small grey letters just below your texts, "Seen."
He's online. He saw your messages.
You laugh, bitterly with no humour in it.
You: i miss you
i really do
i miss us
You type slowly but keep discarding whatever you wrote.
"Fuck it." you exhale. You tap the icon to send a voice note.
"I-I miss you... I miss hanging out with you Innie. It's been a while," you speak, your voice is raspy and weak from hurt, "I love you." you say much quieter as if he was never meant to hear. It just slipped out. You send the voice note.
Then you see it. His bubble keeps popping up and disappearing. He seems to also be typing and deleting whatever he wrote.
jeongin 🦊: fuck.
y/n are you drunk..
He sits at his phone, completely still. He heard it. He heard you say you love him. You called him Innie—a nickname he hasn't heard since high school. His heart twinges at the sound of your voice. He hadn't heard it in months and the first time he heard it again, it was full of evident pain.
You: maybe
does it matter?
i mean what i say
jeongin 🦊: stop
you dont mean it, y/n.
ur drunk, go to sleep.
You: please
i miss you so much innie
my heart hurts
jeongin 🦊: you dont...
ur not thinking straight
please, goodnight.
You: tell me you once liked me
loved me?
ever. just once
jeongin 🦊: y/n what are you saying
you'll regret this in the morning..
You: please
please innie
i just need to know
jeongin 🦊: i
dont
i dont as of now
Your eyes trace over his words twice, you notice the specific phrasing. 'As of now.' He didn't deny the past.
You: so you have?
jeongin 🦊: go to bed
This time you send another voice note, not afraid to admit it anymore. He'll shut you out anyway.
"I love you, Jeongin. Goodnight" You say quietly, but definitely loud enough for him to hear.
He doesn't respond. He's seen the message. You turn off the phone, your room immediately going back to pitch black with no more light illuminating the room.
You lay in bed, defeated, head pounding. You bury your face in your pillow trying not to cry but end up doing so anyway. You feel humiliated and like an idiot for even thinking he'd care.
Knock knock knock
You hear three knocks at the door.
You glance at the clock beside your bed and it's 1:03 am. Who would be knocking at this hour?
You get up lazily dragging yourself over to the door, tiredly squinting into the peephole. You can't make out who it is, so you open the door hesitantly, still drunk, tear stained cheeks, and you can't even understand who it is for a split second. Then, you recognize his foxy eyes. It's Jeongin.