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“Why don’t we get some shut eye? I’ll wake you up after twenty minutes, I won’t be napping since I have to rewrite this essay for my next class. Haitham?”
Even Kaveh’s voice was almost loud, he relented. “Okay,”
“Use my robe, the ground might be cold. It’s usually quiet every afternoon in the garden.”
Alhaitham slept and remembered waking up to the tickling feeling of Kaveh’s hair brushing the tip of his nose. Alhaitham barely commands himself to blink, wondering if waking up to a dream-like escapade is still possible. Kaveh hovers above, his hair brushes like a golden waterfall that dims beautifully at the tip. He smells floral with the tinge of spices of their lunch. It was an incredibly pleasant smell, a scent of comfort.
“You up? That’s half an hour, I tried to wake you earlier but you refused and I feel bad doing it again. Have you been sleeping poorly?”
Alhaitham doesn’t feel fine in general but he wouldn’t dare say it aloud. Perhaps it was only a passing discomfort, something a rest will fix only when he’s done with exams and his pending essays are revised. Irrationally, Alhaitham knew he wouldn’t be resting until everything was sorted and passed. Finishing everything is a far better option compared to a temporary rest where the same problem arises after a nap.
“I’ve learned to delay my bed time by an hour,” Alhaitham says, slowly sitting up to see his books and note was set aside carefully. “It’s required if I want to finish my things early.”
“You were never meant for an all nighter.” Kaveh quipped. “Still, it’s obvious sleeping late is taking a toll on you. If you’re not aware, you’ve been sluggish and a little slow for days now, though the silver lining is it’s not affecting your performance in class.. yet.” he added slowly at the end as if a last thought of mercy. “You’re too young to be having dark circles under your eyes!”
“We are almost the same age, senior.” Alhaitham brushed the vestiges of sleep, blinking rapidly as if it would help. “I already planned to fix my sleep schedule after—”
“We call it ‘hell week’” Kaveh insisted.
“.. hell week. I’m nearly done with preparation, all that is left is to review and revise my essays.”
“What’s wrong with them?”
Frowning, “I wrote them poorly.” Alhaitham says.
Kaveh plucked the piece of paper where it’s mostly scribbles of ideas and pointers and he gave it a light read. Alhaitham waited, Kaveh’s input always helped and not to mention that even when he’s not enrolled in Haravatat, Kaveh still understood some of the topics or at least got the core of them from a simple explanation. Alhaitham recalled noting to get his opinion, it must’ve slipped from his mind, less sleep is proving to be difficult to manage. Impressively, Kaveh always appears bright and equally lucid. How he does it is a feat on its own.
“Regardless of the topic, you already have the key points on each paragraph so drafting and revising should be easy. Are you having a hard time?”
He does. Alhaitham nods short, “I’ve been having mild headaches but it was manageable. I’ll follow through my own notes later.”
Kaveh doesn’t appear convinced, in fact he looked more concerned than before.
“I'm fine, senior, I will not push myself more than necessary.”
It was impressive, Alhaitham thinks, how it took three days before his vision spiraled and he was sent to Bimarstan after passing the exam. Right there and then were the most sociable part of Akademiya, he heard the fountain when he passed and the murmurs of bystanders that possibly witnessed his feat of collapsing. When he woke, there was a pungent smell of herb and oil, then a sharp intake of mint assaulted his senses.
Alhaitham thought he heard Kaveh nearby then someone came, stood closely at his side and a cool hand touched his forehead.
“How is he?”
“He is coming down with a cold, mostly due to fatigue and lack of sleep.”
A click of tongue, “I knew it..”
The sound of Kaveh’s voice alerts him, muddled and fumbling as he tries to sit, searching amidst his tear-filled eyes. Nothing is supposed to make him cry and yet he slumped. Something grazed on the floor, wooden and frantic footsteps stopped by his side. Alhaitham knew who it was when he could only think of one person.
“Senior..”
“You,” he hears Kaveh speak, pausing and Alhaitham feels a cold hand touch his forehead again and start pushing back down. He resisted. “Are so stubborn—lay down, Haitham or I’ll make you.”
“He’ll be fine with rest and taking his medicine, keep him still so he wouldn’t try getting up and injure himself. I’ll be back.” The footsteps fade.
“You hear that? Rest dutifully and you’ll be fine. Seriously, I was glad someone thought of calling me after they rushed you to Bimarstan. My first thought was ‘I knew it’ but I was worried all the way here.” Kaveh nags, rubbing a soothing circle on his shoulder, coaxing him to lay down. “You said you’ll be fine and you won’t push yourself. I am the one that pulls all nighter often and I don’t fall ill!”
“.. you’re noisy, Senior..”
“I can’t believe you.”
“Hmn.”
It explains the strong smell of herb, almost coating his throat, not to say it was unpleasant when in fact breathing through his nose seems to help. He recalled mint eases a stuffy nose and sore throat. Though the hand on his shoulder grounds him better.
“I also heard that you passed your essays and exam before collapsing! This is the second time I’m saying this but I really can’t believe you, Haitham. You’re a fool as much as you’re a genius.”
“I’m not..”
“A fool?” Kaveh supplied.
“I’m not a genius.”
The doctor came back with medicine and water, Kaveh wasted no time and assisted him as if he was gravely ill, though Alhaitham was convinced he was paler due to staying indoors for most part of his week to review. He’s not dying but Kaveh’s gentle hands are more welcome, persuading him to lay down while he pretends to do it out of stubbornness.
“I can watch him better when he’s in his dorm, is that fine with you Haitham?”
Alhaitham nodded.
“Make sure he eats, sleeps and takes his medicine on time. Do not forget to hydrate and avoid anything that is physically and mentally taxing. You’ll be excused from your class until you fully recover.” There was shuffling and clink of bottles, “There’s some tea for sore throat and headache then you two can be on your way.”
“Thank you, I’ll make sure he gets better.”
Alhaitham tasted the lingering grass stuck at the roof of his mouth, persisting until Kaveh walked him back to the dorm and tucked him on the bed (more on stacking heavy blankets around him like a nest when he shivered)
“My roommate will not mind for a while, he gets the whole room to himself while I’m gone so I don’t think he’ll be missing me.” Kaveh shrugged when he asked about his things. “I’ll tell him later when I drop by to fetch some things.. and maybe some of the pending tasks I’ve been procrastinating.”
“I can help—” it was instantly rejected.
“No.” Kaveh declined. “You’re not allowed to watch me work either, otherwise that’ll get your brain to work and it’ll count as working.”
“I find many flaws in the logic.”
“Sleep now.” Kaveh orders, circling the floor table and pushing it to make some adjustments. “Doctor’s order.”
“I already passed out earlier.”
“Doesn’t count. It was your body’s response because you are too stubborn.” Kaveh said, plainly ignoring his protest. “You should’ve known that overexerting yourself is signing up for a possible week-long recovery from fatigue. Were the essays that important to put your sleep underneath?”
Alhaitham shrugged this time. “No. It was an underwhelming topic to be discussed but the professor insisted we write an idealistic approach and expand it. I just wanted it done.”
“.. I can’t believe you.”
“Only earnest thanks are said thrice.” Alhaitham quips, lips tugging in a tired and reserved smile. “It’s the third time you don’t believe me, senior, have some faith.. in me..”
Lying down causes his gaze to drift, slowly his eyes grow tired. It must’ve been the cold and the walk from Bimarstan. Alhaitham only felt a temporary surge of energy, letting him walk with only Kaveh’s hand guiding him back. Being ill is a major hassle, robbing the time that could’ve been spent reading and pondering about a thesis for final year while the garden has been void of students now that they flock to the House of Daena upon realizing actual books are better than Akasya.
“Sleep, Haitham, you’re obviously falling asleep. You look funny fighting it off, don’t make me feel bad by laughing at you.” Kaveh’s hands are soothingly cool on his forehead. “Feel better soon.”
“Hmn…”
The absence of a roommate is fortunate, Kaveh’s presence is different. It wasn’t unwelcome nor burdening, in fact his chatters lighten things around. Something Alhaitham ought to keep to himself for a reason that he’s not sure how Kaveh will receive it and risk a tension between them.
Alhaitham couldn’t tell if the fever had worsened but he does feel more miserable than before going to sleep. The hammers in his head kept pounding, wincing at the slightest movement his head does. His throat is dry despite sweating so much underneath, shivering at the same time. This is exactly the reason why falling ill is never a no go, albeit realizing too late, his senses are already sensitive and with additional pain all over, it’s as if his whole system is being sent to overdrive.
Everything is all over the place and not even an ounce of clarity.
“Your fever spikes up again.” Kaveh’s voice sounds distant even though Alhaitham can feel his cool hand on his forehead and cheeks, perhaps hissing like an ice to hot surface. “Haitham, I’m sorry, you need to drink the medicine so your temperature goes down. It’ll be very quick and I’ll help you, okay?”
The idea of moving and turning his vision upside down doesn’t seem palpable than lying the illness off until it broke. Kaveh’s voice is persuasive if not very gentle and concerned, Alhaitham felt a shred of guilt to be causing it. How long has he been asleep? The curtains are closed shut and not a slit of rays outside is slipping in, it must’ve been past midnight when the room seems colder than the day.
Kaveh left his spot and Alhaitham sought the lost warmth, followed by the comfort of hearing Kaveh move in the background. The whole room is dim when his eyes adjusted, enough to see the corners blurrily. The floor table is filled with materials Kaveh brought but it’s neat, likely untouched.
“Now let’s see.. Come on, Haitham. You can’t drink it sideways.” Kaveh encourages, rubbing soothing circles on his shoulders yet again. “You would want to drink water too, the medicine is a little bitter when I get a whiff of it.”
It doesn’t sound nearly convincing him to sit up but he already did. True to his words, Alhaitham tasted the same grass coating his tongue and drawing sharp lines down his throat from the inside. Kaveh shoves water though it only washes most of it, he can still smell it through his mouth. Another cons to add.
“Do you think you can stomach some crackers? It’s okay if not, it’s also not good to force yourself a bite, don’t want you to end up on the floor. Which is it?” Kaveh gently asks with a hand on his back, Alhaitham shakes his head after thinking. “It’s fine, and I know you don’t like soup but I’m still going to prepare some while you sleep. The nurse told me it’s best to have you eat something, even a small portion.”
“Okay.” Alhaitham answers with a cough and wipes his lips, lying down again, grimacing a little at the damp spot where his sweat pooled but he’s feeling weary again. “Thank you,”
“Night, Haitham.”
____________________
Alhaitham wakes between hours, mostly delirious and blinking in a haze of heat, he is hardly conscious. At some point Kaveh appears in his vision before blacking out, it’s as if he was in a trance where the dreams continue the reality but worse. Sickness is never coherent and Alhaitham despises it, feeling his head floating and his body weighs a ton. Not to mention the persisting headache that is supposed to gradually lessen.
“More water, you’ve been sweating.” Kaveh pushes, the rim of the cup felt lukewarm before he shied away. “What’s wrong? Is it too hot? I made sure to put some ice..”
“.. throat..” Alhaitham croaks, voice sounding more of a scratch than real voice. His throat does feel scratchy but it’s sore, drinking cold water is usually easier for him, numbing.
“Sorry, okay I’ll be quick!”
There was a single streak of light escaping between the curtains, whether it was morning or afternoon, Alhaitham couldn’t tell. Kaveh has done so well nursing him, making sure he keeps drinking his water, taking his medicine on time and even went as far as feeding him when his arms proved to be just a useless lanky pair of limbs. Frustration was there, stirring at the thought of not being capable of handling a simple job like eating, but Kaveh is patient, assurance dripped from him so naturally that Alhaitham felt more inclined to listen. Laying down feeling cared for and warm.
“Here, drink slowly.” Kaveh waited until he was steady on gripping the cup with two hands before letting go. “Can you eat some crackers? You need to drink your medicine soon.”
Alhaitham groans, already loathing the taste of it, thinking along the lines of might as well chew on a grass directly. Kaveh chuckled at his side, rubbing a hand on his back and Alhaitham knew it’s damp.
“We need to change your clothes and bed sheets.” Kaveh suggested, pinching at the fabric. “I’ll make something on the floor so you won’t get cold while waiting. I promise to be quick—”
Alhaitham catches Kaveh’s wrist, stopping him from getting up. His eyes do feel watery every time he blinks and he can’t smell anything.
Quietly, “Senior.. thank you.” Alhaitham whispered, coming out in a short breath but the way Kaveh squeezed meant he heard it clearly.
____________________
Alhaitham rested on a fresh bed, the clean scent at least abated his headache and senses though he really can’t smell anything. He trusted Kaveh wouldn’t get anything less comforting. Multiple waves of dizziness made the time to grow still, he still woke in between but no more than the needed time to take his medicine. Sleeping hasn’t been a burden until now, Alhaitham doesn’t like not having a clear grasp of everything and succumbing to endless rounds of unconsciousness.
Kaveh stayed at his side, brushing his hair off his face, attentive to his pained groans and offering his warmth when it’s too cold. Alhaitham forms a resolve all while bedridden, a certain deep affection is nurturing inside his chest.
“Your fever finally broke..” Kaveh whispered, Alhaitham heard in stupor. Kaveh yawned, his fingers brushing faintly now and his breath slowing, likely on the brink of sleep. “Good, means you’re recovering.. don’t mind me, I’ll just nap..”
A hand laid on his head, Kaveh eventually stops moving and Alhaitham attempts to shift closer, too long before he does but settles comfortably tucked next to Kaveh.
When Alhaitham woke again, his head was a lot clearer and oriented. He still sniffed but there was already the faint smell of his room, so it’s likely the remnants of cold acting up. His body aches from being hunched in effort of warding off the cold while his neck is constantly damp from sweat. Overall it’s good a thing he wasn’t ill anymore but it’s the same as dealing with the aftermath, thinking of all the cleaning that needs to be done..
A mop of blonde hair splays on the bed, golden against the white sheets and hiding a serene face underneath.
The morning emits a soft light outside while the curtains flutter quietly, spilling drafty winds. There must’ve been an attempt of focusing on work based on the small mess, and some of the materials Kaveh brought aren't where they were when Alhaitham last saw them.
Kaveh slept at his side, uncurled hands matching the quiet and rhythmic movements of his chest. Unfurled brow with no tension and frown. Relaxed. The complete ease etched on Kaveh’s sleeping face amplified his angelic features more but sharp when awake... something Alhaitham has been noticing a lot lately.
It’s impossible not to.
Alhaitham had known affection in many forms, he stood witness to others and had been the receiving end of his grandmother’s. Whereas Kaveh always threw him out of balance, knocking him off his axis only to throw him in a loop—with him. Alhaitham is not entirely helpless to pull out of this dance, he just doesn’t want to. With Kaveh it’s different. It settles deep in his chest, humming quietly and beating wildly when Kaveh is near. It's strange. It’s odd but it feels right.
Alhaitham had never thought he’s not capable of a crush, but he’d come to terms that it might take him a while to find the right person. Even then calling what he feels a mere crush sounds flippant. Alhaitham was certain it’s more than that.
Bracing himself quietly on the bed, Alhaitham leans forward until he can see Kaveh's soft breath clearly. Another thing Kaveh is capable of doing is to lure Alhaitham close to him, like a celestial object attracted to the sun. Just like the natural order of the universe, maybe succumbing to nature and instinct once wouldn’t cost him anything.
The smell of mint and medicine clings to Kaveh and somehow it’s enticing from him. Alhaitham felt his heart sped up, lips touching Kaveh’s cheeks, not stopping and indulging himself in kissing his forehead as well before pulling away. Kaveh didn’t stir and the sight made Alhaitham feel something possessively. His lips tingle all while still feeling the lingering ghost of what he’d done. He wanted more and it scares him a little.
“You puzzle me, senior.” Alhaitham whispered, hunched and waited until Kaveh started to stir.
“Haitham?”
“You drool,” he said, if not affectionately then the soft smile that played his lips gave him away.