Work Text:
August 2023
After Teddy told her Maya was in the hospital, Carina found her in one of the quieter rooms in pediatrics.
If it hadn’t been for Teddy’s immediate explanation that Maya had brought in a baby from a scene, and that the blonde was fine and the baby stable, Carina would have been worrying a lot more. And still, something in her chest tightened at the sight of Maya sitting beside the crib in her uniform.
Part of her wanted to rush in, make sure Maya was actually fine, but she still paused in the doorway. “Maya?”
Maya looked up, her expression softening when she saw her. "Hey."
Carina stepped inside. "What happened?"
"Four-car crash." Maya said as she glanced toward the baby. Her voice was quieter than usual. "Two people in the car were dead when we got there. The baby… he was in the back seat, still strapped into his car seat, but all his tests came back clear, no major injuries."
Moving into the room, Carina crouched down beside Maya. “The two people, were they-”
"His foster-parents, there was a social worker here for him not too long ago, but he’s staying here for now.” She filled in, shaking her head.
Carina's eyes dropped to the crib, at the baby whose bright blue eyes were staring right at her. "Poor bambino..."
"Yeah." Maya's hand tightened slightly around the edge of the chair. "He cried every time someone else was in front of him, especially if they were trying to examine him."
Carina looked at Maya, the choice of words not going lost on her. "And when it was you?"
Maya shrugged. "He stopped."
There was something about the way she said it, there wasn’t any pride or surprise in her tone, it was something quieter, and Carina had a suspicion that the blonde had been thinking about it for a while, no matter how she tried to frame it.
Carina looked back at the baby. “Do you know his name?”
A small smile appeared on the firefighter’s lips. “Emilio, it was on his hat, but it also matched with some of the papers we found in the car.”
Carina smiled faintly. "Emilio."
Maya looked down at the baby. "Yeah, well, that’s what the social worker called him that."
Neither of them said anything for a moment until Emilio started fussing and Maya immediately leaned forward. "Hey."
She reached into the crib and lifted the baby carefully, Carina knew her well enough to know that must’ve meant she had been told she could. The second Maya settled back into the chair, baby now against her chest, the fussing quieted down.
For a while they just sat there, the monitors and the occasional noise from Emilio the only sounds in the room until a nurse walked in with a bottle. Upon seeing the boy against Maya’s chest, she handed the bottle to her without hesitation. “Perfect, he should be able to finish this, but let us know if he doesn’t.”
And as quick as she’d entered the room, the nurse also disappeared again. Maya didn’t hesitate though, she adjusted the baby in her arms and began feeding him.
It was strangely natural. Every so often, her thumb moved gently against the baby's cheek.
Carina sat down beside them, she didn’t interrupt, but she didn’t look away either. She’d imagined this before, a baby with blue eyes in Maya’s arms. But every time she imagined that, it had been their baby.
Not only was this not their baby, there was also the small matter of having broken up over two years ago.
Precisely because Maya wasn’t sure she could be a parent.
Yet right now, sitting in a hospital room with a baby who wasn't hers, Maya looked almost peaceful.
Because, it seemed, after months, years, of accidentally becoming their friend's childcare, Maya stopped looking quite so terrified every time someone handed her a child. It was evident not just in the way she was taking care of Emilio, but also how she handled any kid in her life now.
Even when it happened without Carina being there.
She still asked questions and checked if she was right. She still worried she was doing something wrong. But she started picking them up without hesitation. She knew who hated peas and who wouldn't sleep without their stuffed animal and which one needed to be distracted before a tantrum could properly begin.
Carina noticed every single thing, she kept seeing the woman who would make a great parent, but had convinced herself she’d make a bad one.
It wasn’t that Carina hadn’t tried, of course she tried to move on from Maya. Not immediately, sure. There was a long time where she hadn’t been able to imagine wanting anyone else, and she wasn’t willing to force herself into something simply because it was supposed to be easier.
If she couldn’t have the life, the family, she wanted with Maya, she would fall for someone new on her own timeline. And if that meant getting pregnant on her own, then that was what it would be.
She’d given it three and a half years, she’d met new people, gone on dates, but nobody came close to the way Maya made her feel.
There had been dates who were funny, intelligent, beautiful. People who wanted children. People who seemed like they could fit into the life Carina had imagined for herself.
Yet every time, Carina had found herself thinking about Maya. It wasn’t deliberate, and maybe that was the worst part. She didn't sit across from someone and consciously compare them.
It happened in little things.
Someone would order her coffee wrong, and Carina would think, Maya knows how I take it. Someone would make her laugh, and she'd think Maya would have said something funnier. A date would reach across the table and touch her hand, and Carina would remember what Maya's hand felt like in hers.
It wasn't fair.
Not to the people she went out with and not to herself.
Eventually, she had stopped, because she couldn’t figure out a way to have herself want someone new.
She had always imagined doing this with someone, someone she loved. Someone who would wake up beside her at three in the morning and take the baby when she was too tired to keep her eyes open. Someone who would argue with her about baby names and laugh with her when the nursery turned out looking nothing like they had imagined.
Someone who would make clipboards for every single thing and do more safety checks then she could keep track of.
Someone who would be there.
Maya had crept into that image before she could stop it, but Maya hadn’t been able to promise her this life. She knew she couldn’t wait around for the blonde, if she did, they wouldn’t have had to break up in the first place.
Over the past three years, she tried to make peace with the fact that loving Maya didn’t mean she got to have her.
And she really thought she was getting over her, not completely, but a start at the very least.
Enough to accept that maybe the person she loved most in the world wasn't going to be the person she could grow old with.
That was until they ended up becoming the default baby-sitters.
May 2022
The first time it happened, Maya genuinely thought it was a joke. The doorbell rang just after noon, and Maya looked up from where she was sitting on the couch.
Carina was in Maya’s kitchen, humming quietly to herself as she opened another cupboard where she made sure Maya stored the good coffee.
"Are you expecting someone?" The Doctor called.
"No," Maya replied with a small frown.
The doorbell rang again, and with a sigh, Maya got up. And although she wasn’t sure what she expected upon opening the door, she wasn't expecting Ben, and she definitely wasn’t expecting Pru.
The toddler stood beside him in a little jacket, one hand wrapped around the strap of a tiny backpack and she stared up at Maya with a big grin, clearly excited for whatever plans she had.
Ben smiled. "Can you watch her?"
Maya blinked. "No."
"Great, thank you." And before Maya could process what had just happened, Ben had put Pru's backpack into her hands, then Pru's hand, and then, apparently deciding his work here was done, he turned around.
Maya stared after him. "Ben."
He lifted a hand without turning around. "Have fun with Auntie Maya! I'll be back in a couple of hours!"
"Ben."
And just like that he disappeared.
Maya slowly looked down, Pru was still holding her hand with a big grin. “So.. so what should we do?”
For several seconds, neither of them moved, the girl apparently deciding she didn’t need to answer Maya until Carina appeared in the hallway, coffee mug in hand, who took one look at Maya before looking at Pru and the backpack.
Her eyebrows lifted. "Did we just get left with a child?"
"I believe so," Maya said.
Carina's mouth twitched. She crouched down in front of Pru, her entire expression softening almost immediately. "Hello, bella."
Pru's eyes moved between Carina and Maya, then she reached for Carina. The blonde watched as Carina scooped her up, settling the toddler against her hip as naturally as if she'd been doing it every day.
"Okay," Carina murmured, adjusting Pru's jacket. "Well, we can make it work."
Maya looked at the empty hallway again. "Have you watched her before?"
Carina shrugged. "Only briefly in the hallways or at Miranda and Ben’s place with parties. Have you?"
"No."
Carina looked at her, and could clearly see that Maya was questioning something in her head. "I helped deliver her. Does that count?"
Carina laughed. "Not really."
Maya sighed. "Keeping one alive is definitely a different skill set."
"You'll be fine."
"I have no idea what I'm doing."
"You know how to take care of people."
"Adults," Maya corrected.
Carina smiled. "Pru doesn't seem particularly difficult"
As if offended by the assessment, Pru immediately grabbed a handful of Carina's hair who winced. "Okay," she admitted. "Maybe a little."
Maya laughed, and the brunette couldn’t help the smile tugging on her lips. For a moment they just stood there, the absurdity of the situation settling in.
They hadn’t planned this, they hadn’t even agreed to Ben’s half question. Yet Pru was already inside, now back on the ground and exploring Maya’s living room.
Maya hovered for a moment. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do and Carina noticed it in seconds. "You can sit down."
Maya gave her a look but sat down anyway, they’d been friends for over two years now, as well as the year they had dated. But something about this situation felt different, they’d broken up because this was the life Carina wanted and Maya wasn’t sure she would ever be ready for. But now Maya was here, right in the middle of it, and she expected to freak out, but instead she moved to the sofa and sat down.
Pru toddled over to her a few minutes later, and Maya froze instinctively. It took everything in Carina not to laugh, pressing her lips together as she watched her friend and the toddler stare at each other.
Pru reached out to Maya though, and while she hesitated, she did offer her hand, something tiny fingers immediately grabbed a hold of.
The result was ridiculous really, because a child holding her hand shouldn’t feel like a small weight was lifted off her chest.
She had held hands with people hundreds of times. She had delivered babies, held safe surrenders and kids on scenes. She had carried injured people out of burning buildings. She had stood beside terrified parents and told them their children were going to be okay.
But she’d never held Pru’s hand, she’d never held any kid if there wasn’t an emergency requiring her to do so. She couldn’t look at her binders for the protocol, there were none.
Now, she just had to deal with a little girl who had decided her hand was worth holding while she showed her bunny, softly explaining how soft the ears were. “And! She has a friend!”
The speed at which the kid stood up could only remind her of the reaction of her team when the alarm went off, but where the team stood up already running, Pru stumbled over her own feet. Maya instinctively steadied her. "Whoa." Maya caught her before she could fall.
Carina watched from the other side of the room, a small smile on her face. Because Maya hadn’t even thought about it, she’d simply caught her, gently, carefully, and without making a fuss.
Seemingly satisfied, Pru shrugged out of Maya’s arms and went back to her backpack, taking out a second bunny and rushed back to show auntie Maya.
After Pru, it happened again.
And again.
And again.
Carina’s friends considered Maya their friend too, which admittedly took the Captain a while to understand. But that meant that their friends had children. They needed babysitters, and Maya and Carina happened to spend a lot of time together, despite not actually being together.
It made sense that they shared friends, but what didn't make sense was how quickly the news had spread about them baby sitting.
Sometimes there was a text. Can you watch Scout for an hour? Sometimes there was just a knock on the door, a bag being handed over, and someone already halfway down the hallway before either of them had a chance to object.
And now, months later, it became a running joke.
Maya and Carina would make plans for dinner, not dates but simply dinner, and somehow those plans would involve a toddler.
They would try to have coffee, and a kid would end up asleep between them.
They would sit down to watch a movie, only for a child to inevitably decide that Maya's lap was the only acceptable place to sit.
So yes, a lot had changed, they were friends when they used to be girlfriends, they ended up in charge of a kid or two half the time, but despite the changes, they were still them.
Still Maya and Carina.
They still argued over what to order for dinner. Carina still stole fries off Maya’s plate and she still complained when Maya worked too much. Maya still asked for Carina to make lasagna, and the OBGYN still pretended to be annoyed as she placed an extra portion to the side for the Captain to take home. They still spent evenings talking about their shifts, their friends and everything else that had nothing to do with wanting children.
Yet children started appearing around the edges of their lives.
And, somehow, they made it work.
Carina wasn’t sure when babysitting became more, but she remembered when Maya had started researching and woke up at two in the morning to the sound of her phone buzzing.
She groaned and reached blindly across the nightstand.
Maya.
Carina squinted at the screen and smiled despite herself.
She laughed quietly into her pillow. Oh Maya.
The reply had been almost immediate, and Carina could practically hear the defensive tone in her head. She put her phone back down, still smiling, the understanding was settling deeper inside of her, although she tried hard not to read too much into it.
Maya wasn’t trying to prove anything, she didn’t do research and fill her clipboards for recognition or praise. She made them because there was a problem, and problems could be solved.
Like when Teddy had mentioned Allison might be lactose intolerant, Maya remembered it and made sure to have snacks and drinks in both of their apartments without lactose.
Like when Scout refused to drink out of a bottle that wasn’t his, Maya remembered it.
When Leo got overwhelmed in crowded places, Maya noticed before anyone else did.
She learned things, remembered and prepared. Simply because that’s who she was.
She noticed Maya sitting on the floor with Luna because Luna had decided the floor was where they needed to be. The blonde had been wearing her work clothes, one knee pressed against the carpet, while Luna insisted she needed to colour with her.
Maya looked genuinely interested every single time and Carina had watched from the kitchen, but the firefighter hadn’t noticed, she was too busy listening.
She noticed the way Maya let a six year old attempt to braid her hair.
It was terrible.
Carina had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing while Maya sat patiently on the couch while little fingers pulled her hair in every possible direction. When the brunette walked past, Maya looked up. "Don't."
Carina hadn't even said anything, just smiled. "I wasn't going to."
"You were."
"I was going to say it looks beautiful."
Maya narrowed her eyes. "You are a terrible liar."
Another time at Ben and Miranda's house, Maya had ended up holding a baby. She wasn’t entirely sure how, or who’s baby this even was.
She’d been standing in the yard when a woman walked up to her with a baby in her arms. “Are you Maya?”
A brief flash of confusion crossed her face. “Yes?”
“Oh perfect!” A mix of relief and excitement radiated off the woman, a smile tugging on her lips. “I’ll be back in a jiffy.”
She looked down at the baby, who seemed to have no issue with this, when Carina walked up. “Whose baby is that?”
“I don’t know.”
Carina frowned. "You don't know?"
"No." Maya looked around the room.
Nobody seemed concerned.
"Did someone just give you a random baby?"
"I- Yes."
With a frown, the Italian looked around the room. "That's irresponsible."
"Extremely." Maya adjusted the baby's blanket. "Who hands their child to someone without even saying anything?"
Carina crossed her arms. "I don't know."
"How do they know I'm safe?"
"They probably don't." Carina said, giving her a look.
"Exactly." Maya looked down at the now yawning baby again, and the blonde’s expression softened despite herself. "Okay," she murmured. "You're fine."
Thirty minutes later, she was still holding the baby and they’d finally managed to find someone who knew the baby. Owen had explained to his friends that Maya and Carina took such great care of the kids, and it seemed that one family took that as their sign to leave their baby with them.
One look from both of them however, had Owen pulling out his phone to find one of the parents. A moment later, a man appeared. "Oh, there you are."
Maya's head snapped up. "Is this your baby?" She asked, glancing over at Owen who was nodding in agreement.
He blinked. "Yes."
Maya stared at him. "Where have you been?"
"Talking to Ben, and a few of the guys."
"You and your wife left your baby with a stranger."
He looked confused. "With Maya."
"That's not the point."
Carina remembered trying not to laugh, no matter how upset she was with them for this stupidity, it was comical how oblivious he seemed to the issue. Maya handed the baby over, still looking offended. "Unbelievable."
And as the man walked away again, managing to find his wife in three seconds to hand the baby over, Carina turned to look at Maya. "You know you're becoming very opinionated about parenting."
Maya frowned. "I'm allowed to have opinions."
"Of course you are." Carina smiled.
Maya looked down at the empty space in her arms, yet neither of them noticed the tiny smile she couldn't quite hide.
Even the firehouse wasn't safe from Maya randomly acquiring children.
Carina had stopped by the station one afternoon with lunch for Maya and she’d barely made it through the doors before Travis was shushing her from the door to the barn.
“Scusa?” She raised her eyebrows in disbelief, and she could practically see the colour draining out of his face.
“Shit.” He stood up, rounding the desk until he was standing in front of her. “I didn’t mean that, well I did but-” He sighed and pointed at Maya’s office. “We got a safe surrender, the team is out on a call and I’m headed home because I got sick, so Bishop is taking care of the newborn, but he only just fell asleep.”
Carina turned around instantly, quietly opening the door, a soft smile tugging on her lips as she looked at the Captain. "You're the captain."
"I am aware."
"And you're holding a baby."
"I am also aware of that." The baby's tiny face was tucked against the blonde’s chest.
Maya looked down, something in her expression softening again and Carina couldn’t help that her own smile faded into something warmer, she stopped herself from imagining it, but she always held onto a little hope that maybe one day, Maya would see this for what it was.
“What?” Maya asked when she caught her looking.
"Nothing."
Maya knew that tone. "Carina."
She shook her head. "You're very good at this."
Maya looked down at the baby again.
"I've had practice." There was something almost self-conscious about the way she said it, almost as if she still didn't quite believe it herself.
So Carina didn't push, just stepped inside and closed the door without a sound.
And as Maya instinctively adjusted her hold when the baby shifted, Carina saw it again, that same carefulness and gentleness. The same instinct to protect the small child.
She couldn’t help but wonder how many times Maya could be safe for a child without realizing what it meant. What it could mean for them.
August 2023
Maya turned her head to look at Emilio, now asleep and back in the crib. She knew what she wanted, she just hadn’t known what to do with the thoughts yet.
Carina glanced over as she reached for her hand. “You’ve been quiet.”
The blonde looked at her with a small smile. "I'm always quiet."
She laughed softly. "No, you're usually pretending not to be thinking."
"That obvious?" Maya said, looking down at the ground before turning to face Carina.
"To me."
That was the problem, at least part of it. It had always been part of the problem, because Carina knew her, and she wasn’t sure if anyone else ever really had.
She looked down at the floor. "Can I tell you something?"
Carina immediately focused on her. "Of course."
Maya took a breath, and immediately questioned her actions. Was she really about to say this? "I think I could be a mom, I think I want to be Emilio’s mom."
Carina went completely still. Maya's heart started pounding, she had known this was coming, she knew she was going to confuse the brunette.
"I mean," Maya continued quickly, "I think I could actually be a good one."
Carina's mouth opened, but the blonde lifted a hand. “Wait, please- I- I mean-”
Maya took another breath as Carina closed her mouth again and nodded, not noticing the small smile tugging on her lips.
"I know what you're going to say." She swallowed. “Baby-sitting our friends their kids is nothing compared to parenting, one day isn’t the same as twenty-four seven. I know that, and I’m not- I.”
The brunette’s expression changed, and once again she couldn’t make out what it meant, not with her own head in all sorts of chaos.
Letting out a small sigh she continued. "For years, I’ve just… told myself that I didn’t want kids. Not wanting them is easier to admit than saying you’re scared.” She said with a small chuckle. “And I know we talked about it when we broke up, I told you my reasons for not wanting kids, told you about the complications and- and my fears.”
Carina's expression softened, but Maya kept going. "I was so sure that wanting to be better wouldn't actually make me better." Her voice caught slightly. "And then there were all these kids."
Carina smiled. "I know."
"But it wasn't the kids that changed my mind."
Carina's smile softened as Maya leaned further back against the chair.
"Sure they helped. But it wasn't because I suddenly discovered I like children. I already knew that."
Carina's eyes stayed on hers.
"I think they just gave me a chance to see myself doing it." Her voice grew quieter. "Taking care of them. Knowing what they need. Getting things wrong and fixing them. Being tired and frustrated and still loving them." She looked down. "And I realized… I realized I don't think I'd be horrible." Maya laughed nervously. "I know that’s not exactly a glowing endorsement-"
"-It is to me." Carina interrupted, she couldn’t stay quiet and not confirm Maya’s thoughts any longer, not when she had known and suspected all of this. When blue eyes widened and stared at her, she reached for the blonde’s hand. "You would be a wonderful mother."
Maya's eyes immediately stung. "Carina-"
"No." She squeezed her fingers. "You're going to let me finish this time."
Maya laughed through the sudden tightness in her throat.
"Any child would be lucky to have you, including this one." She smiled softly.
Maya looked away, she couldn’t quite handle the certainty in Carina’s voice. “You don't know that."
"I do."
"How?"
"Because I know you." Carina's thumb brushed over the back of Maya's hand. "You think I don't see how much you care?"
Her voice stayed soft, a sad smile on her face. "You care so much that it scares you, and you thought being afraid still means you would fail."
Maya swallowed. "It doesn't."
"No." Carina leaned a little closer. "It means you understand how important it is."
For a moment, neither of them spoke. The only sound coming from the monitors in the background.
Maya looked down at their hands. “It almost feels so stupid, if I could’ve just figured this out two years ago…”
Carina's eyes softened. “It wasn’t the right time.”
The Captain smiled sadly. "I didn't think I could give you what you wanted."
"You couldn't promise me, and I never wanted you to promise me something you didn't want."
Maya squeezed her hand. "But you wanted it."
Carina nodded. "I did."
"And you still do?"
Carina didn't hesitate. "Yes."
Maya's heart hammered against her ribs as she took a deep breath. “I think I do too. I mean- I don't know exactly what that looks like yet."
"You don't have to."
The blonde paused with a soft smile. "But I know I want a family. And I know I never stopped wanting you.
Carina closed her eyes for a second, and when she opened them again, she was smiling, though slightly tearing up. "I never stopped wanting you either."
Maya's chest tightened. She had imagined hearing those words so many times that the reality of them almost didn't feel real. She wasn’t foolish, she knew how they still looked at each other, how they acted together. But she was also well aware it had been over three years since they’d broken up, and now there was this tiny baby involved.
She looked over at him again. He was small enough to fit against her chest, she could easily cover one of his hands with her own. Yet somehow, impossibly, she could picture making room for him.
“I can do this,” Maya whispered.
The Italian’s smile softened. “I know.”
Maya looked back up at her. “I mean it.”
“I know you do.”
She let out a breath that sounded suspiciously like a laugh. “God. How do we keep accidentally acquiring children?”
The brunette laughed softly. “I don't know.” She said, shaking her head.
“Maybe this was always supposed to happen. Is it wrong to say it almost feels like he was destined for us? For things to happen this way for us?” Maya whispered as she looked at the baby again.
Carina tilted her head. “You think so?”
Maya smiled. “I mean, we've spent over a year having other people's children handed to us. At this point, accidentally acquiring a baby seems pretty on brand.”
Carina laughed again with a fond smile on her face before sitting down on the arm rest of Maya’s chair. “Sì, that's one way to describe it.” Carina's expression softened completely, and she leaned closer, wrapping an arm around the blonde’s shoulder and resting her chin against her head. “Yeah, maybe he was.”