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Saki stared at her hospital window with a sorrowful expression.
Another day at the hospital.
Another day filled with endless blood tests, physical therapy and treatments to help her become better. Which have stopped working as far as she can tell, from the snippets of conversations she hears when she's supposed to be resting.
The talks about transferring her and her brother - tsukasa tenma - to another hospital.
About how their conditions are slowly declining due to their bodies' rejection to the treatment.
They have been admitted ever since they were children, she was first, when she had a high fever that made her cough up blood -pnemonuia, she found out later- then it was him next when he passed out on his way from school to visit her.
The doctors called it a chronic illness,- the rare kind that's not fully researched about- same symptoms for both of them but the severity of said symptoms was what varied for them.
Saki called it a curse.
That it is unfair.
That it is vile.
She called it many, many things.
But that never solved anything.
----
Today was her 14th birthday!
Her parents crowded around her bed with tired but genuine smiles, and her brother -from his bed- was smiling at her too.
He turns 15 after 8 days, she thinks.
There was a small cake on her lap with 4 candles already lit up, ready for her to blow.
"Make a wish sweetie" her mother gently placed her hand on her shoulder, smoothing out her hair with her other one.
She doesn't waste time blowing out the candles.
It will always be the same wish anyways
The thing is whether that wish will finally come true or not.
----
Her brother is getting worse.
Now saki knew both her and his conditions weren't nowhere near stable, yet they weren't getting worse.
But not better either
Atleast she thinks she's not.
But he is clearly not become better.
And it's painful...
So, so painful!
Her older brother, the one who would put on plays for her even though she knew his body was screaming at him to rest. The one who would always crack horrendous jokes just to see her crack a tiny smile. The one who would always yell about becoming a star even if his voice was gone from fever. The one who had stars in his eyes during the show, where he promised tha the will become a star for her - and later- a star who will make people smile.
When he got admitted like her, he made sure everyday was eventful, whether by his very loud voice or his shows or when he convinced their parents to get saki a keyboard so she can have something else to do.
He was her sole reason she was alive.
Now he lays on his bed, which was always stationed next to hers so they can reach each other in the dead of the night incase one wasn't able to rest, in a feverish sleep, face red and deathly pale, his lanky and thin body looking so small and dull against the blanket he's covered with. Hooked up to various machines and an oxygen mask covering his mouth.
2 days ago, he was explaining a show script he wrote to her while the doctors were hooking a new treatment formula for him to take.
Now he's like this
She heard from a nurse that, while this treatment is actually working -not just for her but for him as well apparently- it's not guaranteed for the signs to show immediately
She wonders if that nurse was lying
She can't help but stare at her brother
She can't do anything to make it less painful
The guilt that accompanies this is eating her alive.
He had helped her so much, despite his own suffering, and she can't even do the simple thing as trying to help him back. What kind of sister is she?
Setting her gaze on her lap, she feels a rush of emotions.
Grief
Helplessness
Guilt
So much guilt...
And
Anger...
It blazes inside her, so bright and powerful.
She's angry, no furious
At her brother's suffering
At the fact that her friends no longer visit them anymore
At everything that's happening and everyone
Then she cries
Silently. Muffled into her pillow. To not disturb anyone, much less her brother.
Outside, it rains and rains. Thunder and lighting dancing in the sky in a never ending choreography.
Saki hates the rain.
She hates lighting even more.
In the depths of her mind, she decides that she will be there to her brother, in any way, shape or form.
But she won't let him suffer alone
Not anymore
----
Saki sits on a bench outside in the hospital's garden next to Toya, who had come to visit them after a while.
It's been so long since visitors came to visit them both.
But She's glad at least one person seems to care
She takes a deep breath, relishing the way the fresh air surrounds them and the light breeze that's swaying the trees around in the afternoon of an autumn day.
Her brother, despite his protests, is resting even though he kept saying he was well enough to go outside with toya and saki but as much as it hurt her heart for her brother to stay cooped up in the hospital room, she knew he needed rest, especially since he just came back from his treatment.
The doctors are seeing improvement.
Saki doesn't know what to feel about this.
She's glad that both their conditions are becoming stable enough.
But the fear of a relapse, of being trapped in that bed, still haunt her.
She's afraid to hope, everytime she tries her mind is filled with what-if after what-if
.
"You seem deep in thought, is there something wrong?" She's snapped out of her thoughts by toya's calm voice.
Ah... She forgot he was beside her.
He came to visit them after a whole month, after checking up on tsukasa, the two of them moved outside since the doctors allowed her, considering her improvement.
Toya came with a few sweet treats for both of the tenmas -which they were extremely happy with- some books and other things.
She shakes her head, "No, no everything is fine. I am just thinking about stuff. How are you Toya?" She decides to change the subject instead.
"I am doing alright, I suppose" he replies after a bit, fiddling with his sleeve.
Saki just hums as an answer.
"...do you think that me and oni-chan will get better?" She can't help it, as much as she's happy that there's some sort of improvement, the fear still takes over.
Toya immediately responds with, "yes, I believe so. Weren't the doctors saying you guys are becoming better?" He gives her a knowing look, it seems he knows why she's asking, because he then adds, "if you're scared of a relapse, then know that I am here to help, even if don't think I can do much but I want you to know that I am here for you two."
Admist all her worries, at the sadness that grips her heart when her best friends slowly stopped visiting, she feels incredibly glad that he's here.
She gives him a big smile.
"You being here already is enough. Thank you toya"
She feels hope fill her chest.
----
They're discharged..!
After years, she's finally free
She can finally see her friends again, experience life as much as she could and go out and drink boba -that's literally no1 on her list-, get a job and so much more.
And her brother too, he can finally persue his dream of becoming a star, a star that makes people happy and bright, free of their worries.
But obviously, there are things to take care of.
Such as, taking medicine on time, which different foods to avoid and not eat too much of, to take care during winter and summer Incase of getting sick or the chance of heatstroke respectively, and of course to be aware of the fact that while they may not need to stay in the hospital for the time being, the chance of a relapse is still there.
... Among other things she doesn't want to think about because there's way too many and she just wants to go and try boba.
Really that's what she's needing right now.
She looks over at her brother, who is almost giddy with excitement and appreciation then at Toya who had been there for sometime and who has officially been adopted into their family as their brother. A bombshell their parents threw at the sibilings after they were told of their discharge.
Not that they're complaining in the slightest.
"Thank you doctor!" Both of them say in unison and the doctor chuckles.
"You're both very welcome, now you will leave in two days and don't forget the monthly check-ups" he says then bows and leaves the room.
"Can you believe it?! We're finally going home!" Saki was squealing at this point and tsukasa was laughing at her antics.
"Yes yes! And then you can try boba too!" He says and she pouts at him.
"Eh? You won't try it with me?"
"Well yeah of course!, but I want to try mochi more. The time toya brought it was amazing. I need it now!"
Toya, who was observing all of this with a smile, laughed " I am excited that you guys are finally going home. I wanted to spend time with you guys a lot. Now that I am a tenma now."
At that, both of them grinned.
"You're our brother now. Our little brother. we will have so. Much. fun" saki was literally sparkling.
Tsukasa laughs his signature laugh and puts his hand on his chest, " yes! And we will make sure you are okay and well! That's our duty as your older sibilings!" He declares and saki nods in agreement
"I will be in your care then"
Laughter fills the room that day and when they leave, their house is warm and lively, filled with laughter and stories told to be cherished forever.
Outside, rain gently trickles down on passersby, the night sky twinkling with stars. If the three were to look outside at the moment, they would see three significantly bright ones shining, suspiciously close together.
A testament to a bond that will never break no matter what happens.
And memories that will be made along the way
The happy ones.
The sad ones.
And even the random funny moments that happen without any reasons
.
.
.
"SAKIII! I WAS GOING TO GET THAT PART OF THE PROPERTY!"
"Mwheheheeh! you can never win against me!"
"Saki-nii, I think you have to pay me money, you stood on my property"
"DAMN IT- I HATE THIS GAME!"
"hehe, how's the karma, saki?"
"HEY THAT'S NOT FAIR!"
"Games like these are never played fairly"
"hey kids! Keep it down a little, would you?
"yes mom!"