Chapter Text
Pomni had always struggled with nightmares.
She was an anxious child with an overactive imagination, and as she burgeoned into her teenage years it only got worse. Adulthood came with more things to worry and stress about, which only made it harder. After a while it became manageable, something she didn't stress about too much.
Ever since arriving in the circus they had only gotten more vivid. She often saw herself abstracting, or worse, the colorful assortment of characters she came to know and love abstracting themselves. If she was lucky she wouldn't dream at all, simply closing her eyes and opening them again several restless hours later.
For a brief, eventful period of time, she saw Caine every time she closed her eyes. Several extra sets of arms coming out of his enormous, distorted body, holding herself and her friends pinned against a wall as he glitched about. Every night was a different version of the same scenario.
Sometimes it happened as it did on that day. Hurtful words thrown around, getting torn up by the first being she'd bonded with in the digital world. Sometimes it was just Caine at his worst, squeezing them until their heads popped or tossing them around like ragdolls. During that time she had forced herself to operate on as little sleep as possible, a habit she was struggling to shake even when things started getting better.
As of late, if she slept at all, she dreamt of herself alone in the circus. Colors faded to gray and glitchy chasms littered about every surface. She saw herself hiding from the abstracted forms of those she cared about as they stalked about the dead circus. She hid mostly in the rafters, finding little alcoves she wasn't sure existed in the real circus.
As she continued to explore, she found a long hallway that seemed to go on forever. The dread that sank through her hit her stomach like a rock, but her legs wouldn't obey her as they continued taking her down the endless hallway. The distant sounds of her abstracted friends began to grow louder as she moved a bit faster, the walls beginning to tremble as a door appeared at the end of the hall. Caine's office door.
She broke into a sprint, the multicolored lights of abstractions bouncing off the walls in her peripheral as they gained distance on her. In less than a second she grasped the handles of the double doors, yanked them open, and closed them behind her.
The only light in the room was a spotlight shining down on Caine's oversized desk chair, spun around so it faced away from her. She held her breath as she took a step, stopping with a jump as it began to turn. Sat in the chair was Caine himself, grabbing his top jaw, glitching and groaning in pain. She took another step towards him, accidentally kicking a pencil in her path. His eyes snapped up to hers, distorting with color like those of the abstractions that were hunting her down. He flung himself out of his chair, leaping over his desk and-
Pomni snapped awake. She was sweating profusely, a nasty crick in her neck. Her eyes darted around as she tried to get her bearings. Ragatha had a hand on her shoulder, worry haunting her cautious smile. Behind her stood Kinger and Caine, and behind them were Zooble and Gangle. They were safe.
"Are you okay, Pomni?" Ragatha asked softly. They were in what appeared to be a park; geese squawking around a large pond, butterflies fluttering between swaths of flowers. A small honeybee floated along and landed on Kinger's head, temporarily distracting Caine from the conversation at hand.
"...huh?" Pomni muttered as she snapped her attention back to Ragatha. "Why am I... wha happened?" The bee buzzed away, Caine's attention reigned back in.
"It seems you fell asleep in a bush, my dear!" he stated enthusiastically. His expression fell a bit as he continued. "Did you, uh... do you not like the adventure?" Kinger rested a hand on his shoulder. Gangle smiled fondly at the little gesture.
Oh. She fell asleep on an adventure. That's never happened before. As the realization hit she felt her face redden. Ragatha's hand fell to her side as Pomni stood up and dusted herself off.
"Oh no, I'm really sorry!" she scrambled. "I, uh, I-I've been having a bit of trouble sleeping a-and well, haha, heh..." They all stared as she trailed off, staring into nothing for a moment. Ragatha looked back at them all with shared concern. She place a hand on her hip and turned back towards Pomni.
"Pomni?" Ragatha asked, gently trying to get her attention back. She jumped as she turned back to them, her face flushing again as she realized she'd spaced out. "Is... is something bothering you?"
"Oh! Uh, I just haven't been sleeping... much... at all..." She scratched the back of her head. "It's no biggie! We don't need to sleep after all, right?" Caine's eyes twinkled, and he opened his mouth to begin what only could have been a tangent about their digital bodies, but Zooble cut him off.
"I mean, yeah, we don't need sleep but..." they trailed off for a moment before continuing, "that doesn't mean it's good for you to stay awake forever." Pomni's tired smile flattened into a hard line across her face. She looked as though she was just caught committing a crime, eyes wide as she looked around for a way out of the situation.
"Let's just try and finish up the adventure so you can get some sleep, okay?" Kinger interjected, sensing the tension. Zooble sighed, handing Gangle her bug net as they both turned and walked off. Caine stared at Pomni curiously, obviously not catching the social cues playing out before him. Ragatha flashed her a sympathetic smile, catching Caine's attention before he could ask her questions he couldn't fathom the answers to.
As the two of them walked off, excitedly chattering about the bees Ragatha used to keep on her farm in the Macroverse, Kinger sighed peacefully.
"Ya know," he began, smiling tiredly with his eyes as he watched Caine and Ragatha walk off, "it's been a while since everything happened." Pomni's eyes were locked on Caine as he excitedly found a beehive in a distant tree. She couldn't help but imagine him in his office chair, eyes flashing between colors like - "It's okay if you aren't doing well."
Her eyes snapped up to him then. He was gazing down at her from under the golf visor he was wearing. He looked at her without pity or judgment, in a way that made her lip quiver and her eyes prickle with tears. She was so tired, mentally spread so thin. She cleared her throat, trying to steel herself as she tried to find her words.
"I..." she began, "...I-I don't... I haven't been... doing very well." It was hard to admit even to herself, but with Kinger's gentle gaze and calming words, she felt safe to be a little vulnerable. "I haven't slept much. Not for... well, a while."
"Not since..." he started expectantly, waiting for her to finish his sentence for him. She grimaced, silently answering. His pupils shrank slightly as he stared down at her. "Ah, I see."
They fell into a tense yet comfortable silence. Pomni sighed, beginning to walk along the trail that encircled the large pond. Kinger followed quietly, allowing her time to gather her thoughts. They got about a quarter of the way along the edge of the pond before he piped up.
"Sometimes it's hard to admit when we're struggling." Pomni sighed and sat on a bench along the trail. Kinger sat next to her, turning his head to the others as Caine accidentally knocked the beehive out of the tree. He chuckled softly as the poor AI began shouting at the stings he was pelted with, swinging his bug net in front of him to defend himself. "Especially when, from an outside perspective, things have never been better."
"I have pretty bad nightmares," Pomni admitted tiredly as Zooble, Gangle, and Ragatha tried catching the bees that were attacking Caine. "It's not every time I fall asleep but it happens enough that I just..."
"...decided it was easier to just not sleep?" Kinger finished for her. She sighed quietly, nodded as a butterfly fluttered by. He put up a finger and it landed on him. "Nightmares can be a lot to unpack. I don't blame you for not wanting to talk about them."
"There's a 'but' to that isn't there?" The butterfly flew away, and he smiled with his eyes.
"But, all these folks here, your friends, would never judge you for asking for help. Even Caine, though I'm not sure he can dream, I believe he would do anything to help. Everyone here would." Pomni stared on at her friends as they caught bugs and completed their critter compendiums. She smiled as they distantly laughed and cheered as Caine finally caught one of the bees that stung him.
"You're probably right," she stated softly, looking up at the simulated clouds above them. A gentle breeze blew by, and for a moment she felt like she could fall asleep again. "I... I think I'd be willing to try. Would it be okay if I dropped by tonight for a sleepover?"
"I would like that."