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the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, except it's not, you colourblind bitch. -charlie's subconscious
it's stupidly cold outside. i'm slumped over the wooden fence, kicking my feet against the metal cords running through it. this is boring. this is boring. this is boring.
i've been thinking a lot in the time everyone's fell asleep. cause, y'know, the floor of some random friend's house surrounded by weird, obnoxious strangers is the comfiest place to be. i look behind, making sure the door is closed for the 3rd time since i'm come out here, when as my gaze drifts back to the clearly fake turf sitting half a metre below me, wondering what i'm still doing here, my eye catches on something. it's... Ava?
Ava Williams, sitting in the pool. she's staring at me. like, intensely. i cower slightly under her gaze, shoulders hunched and back rounded.
"what... what are you doing?" she asks, in an unusually vulnerable tone for someone like her.
Ava's always been a bit... dramatic, so to say, like a new york based painter with an arts degree and a passionate opinion on pineapple-d pizza. the kind of person who says "superfluous" and "fatuous", whatever the fuck those SAT words mean.
"i'm.... wondering the same thing.. a-about you, obviously." god, why am i such an anxious mess?
she takes an unbothered sip of red wine from a wine glass, which makes me sputter internally. she's only 17. how.. why?
i walk down the steps off the raised porch, tentatively sitting down on one of those uncomfy slatted wooden loungers you find near every white person's pool. she doesn't even look at me, staring ahead at the grey metal fence.
"why are you still here? just go back inside." she scoffs, and i can feel her eyeroll from 3 metres behind her.
"because i'm lonely." i blurt out, the words escaping my mouth faster then i can catch them.
she turns back around to look at me. i can now clearly tell her eyes are glistening red, but i can't tell if it's cause she's upset or stoned. knowing Ava, likely the latter.
"you? lonely? please, with your masculinity you could catch any girl." she seems a bit flustered and frustrated at the accidental vulnerability i have flashed her with. and she has also proven that she doesn't know i'm gay.
"well clearly you'd know all about getting with people." i'm purposefully avoiding her eyes because of the daggers she's staring at me.
"hey! you're the one making it a personal attack! god, what is with you!"
i have a better question, what's with her!?
"CAN YOU NOT MAKE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE!" i yell, fists tense by my side.
...
"i'm sorry... Ava.. i.." i hear a broken sob come from her mouth and i feel like throwing myself off a cliff.