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Elphaba didn't have much personal experiences to compare against, but she was pretty sure that dating Fiyero Tigelaar — Winkie Country heart throb and Shiz's most eligible bachelor— in secret was the most incredible thing in the world. At first Fiyero had been against it.
"You're not some dirty little secret Elphaba," he'd said when she dropped his hand as soon as they were within sight of the university after their first "date" (Elphaba called it their first date, Fiyero said it didn't count because it was still daylight, a distinction she refused to acknowledge). "People have already seen us together all over campus anyway."
"This is different. I've never…" she blushed so strongly she felt a little dizzy. It was one thing for Fiyero to kiss her hand, it was another to say out loud this was the most romantic contact she'd ever had. She pivoted. "This is all new to me. I don't want a thousand eyes on us, waiting and hoping for me to screw this up."
He couldn't exactly argue against that.
Besides, Elphaba found she really enjoyed watching him trying to be subtle. He was really bad at it, but it was fun to watch.
Overnight he changed his usual campus routines, including all of his habitual seating choices. One change may have gone unnoticed, but Boq, Galinda, and even Nessa noticed when he stopped sitting with them in class and at lunch to always sit next to Elphaba, including following her outside to eat despite the noticeable temperature drop. He shrugged it off.
"I'm copying her notes to I can pass my finals."
"I'm from the mountains, this is summer for us."
The fact he wouldn't break eye contact with her as he said it should have given the whole game away. The fact she kept blushing when he lingered near her in the halls should have given it away. The fact he kept touching their feet together under tables and desks should have given it away. His absolutely ludicrous reasons for coming to see her, including but not limited to, claiming he was delivering messages from staff members who didn't exist, should absolutely have given them away. And yet, everyone always took him at his very beautiful face value. Outside of her and Fiyero's personal bubble, nothing changed, which is exactly what Elphaba wanted. She knew it couldn't last forever, but she was going to enjoy it while she could.
There was a reason Elphaba still didn't eat in the lunch room, even if she did have friends to sit with now. Once the campus gossips inevitably noticed Fiyero's change in behavior, the entire cafeteria echoed with overly loud whispers. Thankfully (as far as Elphaba was concerned) the idea that Prince Fiyero Tigelaar was dating The Artichoke was beyond even tabloid believability. Instead the rumor mill was focused on Fiyero's half truths: sitting with Elphaba and talking to her during classes did mean he was taking more notes, so something must be going on with his grades (and it's no fun to speculate on someone's success, apparently). No, instead at every meal Elphaba was bombarded with the overwhelming sound of Fiyero Tigelaar flunking out of Shiz.
Some said the royal family was paying Elphaba to be his tutor. Others said the new auditorium was going to be named The Royal Tigelaar Theater to hide the fact they were bribing admin to keep him enrolled. Elphaba tried not to let it get to her; Fiyero claimed he didn't care and if he could block it out, so could she. But if a sophomore girl babbling on about how Fiyero was about to be disinherited because of his grades suddenly found her lunch tray flipped over onto her lap, well accidents happen. Eating outside was simply easier for everyone.
Besides, Elphaba really didn't have the time or the spoons to waste on petty retaliation. Finals were just a week away, and that meant very little time for anything but studying and essay writing. In the little bit of alone time she and Fiyero did get, they only got a few moments to hold hands before they were interrupted or Elphaba pulled away because it was too public. They both had less-than studious roommates, so sneaking off into one of their dorms should have been an option. Except that both Galinda and Averic had apparently decided that they were also going to knuckle down …but not in the library of course, only in the comfort of their beds.
No time or place for real dates meant no time or place for the kinds of things two young people usually got up to on dates. The kinds of things Elphaba had hoped they would get up to. Because she wanted to. Ardently.
She just didn't know …how.
But Elphaba, ever the resourceful sorceress, had a plan.
Each dorm building had a dedicated laundry room in the basement. Over the course of the term Elphaba had learned that very few girls in her building did their own laundry, instead paying for the university housekeeping service. The Thropp sisters, however, weren't given funds for this and so Elphaba spent every Sunday morning in the laundry suite by herself washing her and Nessa's things.
Recently, she learned that the laundry suite door locked.
A fun fact she'd written into Fiyero's calculus notes.
Elphaba loved watching movies. She felt like she could just exist in the dark room; invisible in the crowd. With everyone looking at the bright screen—listening and laughing and crying together — she belonged. Her favorite movies were romances. After hours of study, she knew what a kiss looked like. She even felt confident she knew what a kiss should should feel like. Surely in this curated environment she could make it happen.
She was going to kiss Fiyero.
Probably.
Maybe.
Hopefully.
Exactly how she was going to work up the nerve was a later Elphaba problem.
So there Elphaba stood, in her simple black dress and half-sleeve berry-colored cardigan that let her feel dressed up without impeding her chores, trying desperately to focus as she set up her most complicated spell to date, while also trying not to be nervous about her date's imminent arrival to a small, lockable room, that smelt pleasantly of laundry soap.
The laundry suite had a soaking tub, a scrubbing tub, and a drying rack. First she would load the garments and soap into the soaking tub. Then using a levitating spell, she would lift the items out into the scrubbing tub and, then layering in a spinning charm, scrub them. Then another lifting charm would place them on the drying line. This, though, wasn't the fun part. No, the fun part was getting the cycle to continue with each item without her having to repeat the spells. She'd been practicing on small items: making a pencil draw a circle on one paper, then move to another paper and draw a star, then back to the first page for a letter A, and then repeating the pattern over and over with new pencils in a line. She'd only broken two pencils and launched one out an open window and into the quad before she mastered it. Laundry was wet, and heavy, and much larger than a pencil, but, still, it was the same principal. She decided to start with her normal laundry before risking Nessa's clothing.
Everything was loaded into the soaking tub, and Elphaba was just about to start when she heard the stairs outside the door creak. She peeped her head out of the doorway and did all she could to keep from beaming at the person coming down the stairs. Fiyero looked charming in in Shiz uniform, but there was always something special about seeing him in his weekend garb: colorful slacks, striped shirts, and the occasional scandelociously tight polo shirt that showed off his personality outside of his perfectly tailored public persona. Today's dark slacks and loose-knit gray sweater were the epitome of late-fall cozy.
Oh yeah, she was gonna kiss him.
But first the laundry.
As Fiyero came into the room, Elphaba saw him notice the filled washtubs with poorly disguised disappointment.
"I'm gonna be honest El," he said, "when you suggested locking me in the laundry room I didn't think we would actually be washing anything."
"Oh, isn't today the annual Vinkus Laundry Festival?" Elphaba smirked. "Don't worry your highness I have no intention of putting you to work." She pulled out the chair from the folding table and gestured for him to sit. He didn't.
"No, that's not until Tuesday. But I suppose I can help if you need it, I'm not just going to sit here and watch you work." Elphaba waited until he was done carefully folding the sleeves of his sweater up to his elbows before correcting him.
"I do appreciate that, but I have a different idea." She gestured to the chair again, "Sit, please."
Once Fiyero finally settled into the chair, Elphaba crawled up onto the table and sat cross-legged in the middle of it, facing all three zones she needed to enchant. She took a focusing breath and, stealing a quick peak to her left to make sure she had Fiyero's full attention, began her spell.
Just as she expected, the water in the soaking tub began to spin, then one long-sleeve white blouse came out of the soapy depths and transferred its self to the scrub tub (the water sloshed more than she hoped, but it wasn't disastrous), and then lifted up onto the dry line. Elphaba finished her chant, and put her arms down, grinning from ear to ear as a second shirt followed in order. She looked over at Fiyero, preening like a peacock at her own spell-work. His smile was almost as wide as hers. He realized she was watching him.
"You are absolutely incredible," he said, all hints of his previous teasing gone. He was so genuine in his praise. If just showing off her automated laundry spell was the whole date, she believed he would walk away satisfied. But Elphaba wanted more, and she was practically drunk on the success of her spell both working and impressing her boyfriend.
"Look what else I can do," she said, sounding much more giddy than sexy. But the result was the same: with a snap of her fingers the laundry room door locked with an audible click and Elphaba swore she could see Fiyero's heart skip a beat.
Before she could blink Fiyero was up out of his chair and into her space, his nose only an inch away from hers. He slowed himself down by running his hand softly against her cheek. Elphaba copied him, but the nerves that she felt before were entirely gone, replaced by a swaggering confidence she barely recognized in herself. Her thumb brushed against his weekend stubble but didn't stop there. Once her hand made it to his neck, she pulled him towards her, just a little, but it was enough.
Fiyero's lips were as soft she she'd imaged they'd be; the feeling of him with her in the moment even softer. She pressed against him harder and he tilted his head slightly to avoid crushing her glasses. Fiyero slid his hand to the back of her head, his fingers gliding through her hair as his hand spread wide against the back of her head, guiding her to a better angle to deepen the kiss even more. When she reluctantly broke away to breathe, she opened her eyes, not realizing she'd closed them. This close she could see all the different shades of blue in the tiny lines that made up Fiyero's striking bright irises, his little creases around his eyebrows. She quickly developed a new appreciation for the crinkles that formed as he smiled.
She didn't mean to, but she giggled. He did to. He brushed their noses together; as much as she loved the kissing, she may have loved the feeling of the nose rub more. He gave her nose a little peck, then stood straighter to look at her properly.
"Ok?" Fiyero asked, sounding to Elphaba slightly breathless though would deny it if asked.
"Okay."
"More?"
"Yes please."
He kept one hand where it was on the back of her head like before, but the other snaked around her to rest between her shoulder blades, pulling them even closer together so her breasts flattened against his chest. Elphaba was very happy she was sitting; she felt so dizzy she didn't think she'd be able to stand at this point. Her hands slid down his shoulders to grip at his biceps, her heart jumping up in to her throat as she felt his lips begin to open. She knew kissing with tongue was a thing, but she didn't know actually feeling Fiyero's tongue against her would cause such a stir in her. A stir that, unfortunately, also caused her magic to spike.
One moment she was in heaven, practically floating in bliss, holding onto Fiyero's arms as an anchor, when just as suddenly they were doused in cold water: literally, then figuratively.
The sound of the washtub crashing back to the stone floor echoed in the small room. Fiyero jumped out his skin, suddenly standing straight as the water broke over his back and his hair, his broad shoulders protecting Elphaba from most, but not all, of the soapy blast. He stood silent in shock for a second before reaching up to his shoulder and pulling her sopping wet little black lace panties from where they had struck him in the back of the head. Elphaba wasn't religious, but in that moment as Fiyero realized what had happened, and what he was now holding, she silently wished to die from the mortification.
Then Fiyero started laughing.
It was loud, and full, and he bent in half coughing, unable to stop himself to catch his breath. Elphaba doesn't know if she should join him or cry. He finally gets himself under control, but he still has the same huge grin on his face.
"Are you alright?" he asks her. His voice was a little horse and uneven, but, much to Elphaba's confusion, without even a hint of malice or even disappointment.
She answers in a confused rush. "I—me? I don't— I didn't know that would happen…. You aren't mad?"
He barked out another laugh, looking around at the carnage that was the laundry room. Her clothes are thrown all over the floor, the folding table, and a few smaller things (like some socks and what was obviously a lovely pale blue brassiere) on the pipes across the ceiling. Soap was absolutely everywhere, including on both of them.
"Honestly, this is the greatest compliment on my kissing technique I've ever gotten. My ego is never going to let this go."
Elphaba felt a little bubble in her chest looking at Fiyero. He was soaked, and his hair was a mess, but he looked so happy. A small laugh bubbled up in her chest, and she didn't try to stop it, letting it grow as Fiyero joined in again.
She slid off the table and immediately clamped her arms around his middle for a grounding —all be it damp— hug. She popped herself up on her toes to reach his lips again. This kiss was less perfect. There was too much teeth, her glasses went crooked, and the moment was, overall, far less cinematic. But in the little lockable room that smelled pleasantly like soap, it was still just them.
And that, Elphaba realized, was all she needed.