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For the third time that night, Purple scrolled apartment listings on their phone, leaning back in their chair. The job was, frankly, pretty boring. A joint like this didn’t need night security, but the weird hours made it easier to get a spot at local homeless shelters during the day, and it paid enough for them to survive. In fact, it almost made enough for them to (finally) rent an apartment.
Almost, because landlords seemed to think that jobs paid five hundred beans an hour instead of the scraps that Purple had put together over the past few months. If they had the choice, they’d make all landlords and apartment complex owners go through a year of minimum-wage jobs and let them try to pay their own rents, but as broke as they were, it wasn’t like they had much of a choice. At least one of the apartments looked fine enough-- Not too far from their job, not too stupidly expensive, air conditioning, laundry in the place, five rooms overall… Not bad. Definitely enough space to live in, probably more than they needed. The only problem was that there was nothing about maintenance. Without any guarantee that someone would look at it, the place could be a rotting pile of garbage, but… Well, it was the price that really bothered them. It was more than they could afford, and that much was obvious.
They grumbled, flicked through the cameras, and then turned to another site. They didn’t want to have to do that, but maybe Grayslist would have something.
Instead of finding another apartment to look into, they stumbled into what could be either a nightmare or a dream: Someone looking for a roommate.
In all caps.
ROOMMATE NEEDED!!!!
LOOKING FOR SOMEONE OKAY WITH NIGHT SHIFT ROOMMATE!!! ONLY ONE BEDROOM, I AM WILLING TO SLEEP ON COUCH IF NEEDED. I PAY HALF, YOU PAY HALF. I HAVE NO PETS, NO CAR, AND NO NEED FOR YOU TO PAY FOR GROCERIES OR MAINTENANCE. I WILL FIX BROKEN THINGS. I DONT CARE IF WE GET ALONG OR IF YOU HAVE PETS.
NEEDS: YOU DO NOT TOUCH MY THINGS. YOU DO NOT MIND ME ARRIVING LATE. YOU PAY ON TIME. YOU ARE WILLING TO TELL ME IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME.
OFFERING: I PAY ON TIME. I WILL FIX THINGS. I WILL GET US WIFI. I WILL BE QUIET USUALLY. I DO NOT SMOKE. I DO NOT HAVE FRIENDS TO STAY THE NIGHT.
THE APARTMENT IS SHOWN IN THE LISTING BELOW. I HAVE ALREADY GOTTEN PERMISSION TO DO THIS BY THE OWNER BUT REQUIRE HELP TO PAY.
TO APPLY CALL THIS NUMBER AND ASK FOR LIME. THE PASSWORD IS OVERNIGHT OATS.
Somehow, it wasn’t the weirdest thing Purple had seen. No references to any relationship wanted between them, no weird sex stuff, not even some random reference to something so out there that it’d raise red flags. The listing was even the one they’d been looking at.
…Not like they had anything to lose but time.
Purple sighed, reluctantly tapping the number. “Overnight oats. Ask for Lime. Let’s get this over with.”
Lime crawled out of the vent, stretching their back as soon as they were standing again. “Fixed it,” they said. Their coworker swore under their breath.
“Warn me before you show up like that,” Banana grumbled. “You almost gave me a heart attack.”
“Go to a doctor,” Lime said with a shrug, and they sat at the table. After a moment, the phone on the countertop began to ring. “...Whose turn is it?”
“Mine,” Banana answered. Whether or not they were correct, Lime didn’t really care. Banana didn’t like it when Lime tried to do outward-facing tasks, and Lime didn’t like having to talk to people over the phone, where their words could be recorded without their knowledge. No thanks! They were better off not touching something that dangerous, and--
“Hello?” Banana asked. They only paused a moment before they sighed. “Seriously? Fine. But if they gave out this number--”
“I ain’t putting my phone number out there for strangers,” Lime interrupted. “No way, no how.”
“Whatever.” Banana tossed the phone across the table to Lime, who easily caught it and put it to their head.
“Yello?” they said.
“Uh, hi. This is Lime, right?”
“Maybe.”
“Right. The uh… Overnight oats, password, yada-yada.”
“...Good. You read the thing.” Lime nodded. “Who’m I talkin’ to?”
“Did you just use the word whom? Not the point, this is Purple. I mean, I’m Purple. I’m a night guard. Saw your post, was looking at the same place, and… let me be honest, I have no clue what I’m doing here, but it’s better than the homeless shelter.”
“Yeah, me too. I ain’t good with this stuff.” Lime chuckled. “I’m awful with people. Thought it’d be easiest to make a post and hope someone’d read it. Seems like you did.”
“Yes. Yep. So, um… Anything you need?”
“Mostly just knowing you read the thing. We’ll figure it out as we go, probably. Wanna show up at the place at some hour others find normal?”
“Sure. Nine AM?”
“Nine’s good. Nine makes us look normal.” Lime nodded. “Yeah, nine’s good.”
“Awesome,” Purple said. “Great. Yeah.”
“Don’t know what I should say here… But I’ll see you there and then.”
“If I look bad, I’ve been at work all night.”
“Same. I ain’t judging.”
“Cool, yeah, great.”
As awkward as the talk had been, Lime still hung up with a bit of a smile.
“...Who was that?” Banana asked.
“New roomie.”
“You? With a roommate? I’ll believe it when I see it.”
Lime scoffed. “Watch it, or I’ll take a wrench to your visor.”
At 8:50, Purple stood outside the apartment complex. The morning was scalding, even with the rain. They’d already been drenched on the bike ride there, and with their laptop in their backpack, staying outside felt like a great way to end up with more issues in the near future.
Great. Their favorite thing-- issues. Especially when they were just moving in, with a stranger.
This was a terrible idea.
Even so, they still entered the building. What else could they do? Run away when someone was counting on them? No way. They weren’t going to do what Red did to them.
They hurried into the building with a purpose, pretending they knew what would happen. Instead, they walked directly into another crewmate, who jumped back almost a foot at the contact.
“Who’re you, whaddya--” they started. Purple interrupted.
“Didn’t mean to walk into you, sorry!”
The quiet that followed felt far too long. Finally, the other crewmate spoke.
“Shoot. You’re Purple, aren’t you?”
Purple paused, looking the crewmate over. They looked ragged, with dull, light-green fur and old-looking light brown overalls. Though they looked exhausted, and they slouched so low they could barely look over any counters, their visor was a shiny blue. “...Does that make you Lime?”
Lime paused, thinking about what to say, before reluctantly nodding. “Yeah, that’s me.”
“Trying to decide if you still need the password?”
“More deciding if I trust this place to not be crawling with cameras.”
“Like there's anywhere free from surveillance. I've worked enough nightguard jobs to know that there are cameras in places you wouldn't believe.”
Lime shuddered. “Let's get the money to the landlord so we can sleep. I'll take the couch?”
“Sure. We're gonna need another bed eventually though.”
“I'll find a construction gig. Plenty of wood on those sites, probably can find enough to slap together a frame.” Lime spoke casually, as if suggesting they would steal wood from a job to make a bedframe wasn't weird. Even though a part of Purple couldn't help but worry, the pragmatic part of them won out.
“Sounds like something,” they said. With that, the duo walked to the landlord's apartment. Lime wiped their hands on their overalls, only succeeding in staining the fabric more, then knocked on the door.
“Citrus?” Lime asked. “You up?”
After a moment, a crewmate opened the door. Their long tangerine fur was almost shiny from whatever product they’d used, but their ratty shirt made it clear they didn’t care enough about how they looked to do much other than grease their fur. “... You're… What was it? Lemon?”
“Lime,” they corrected, more than a little bit bristly. Was there something about that name, or just irritation for them forgetting? “The one tryin’ to rent the place. We got the money, Citrus.”
“Who's the chump with you, huh?”
“Purple. Co-renter.” Purple stepped forward. “And I'd like to look over the rules before signing the lease.”
“Hmph. Come in.”
Citrus stepped aside, and the two walked in.
Forty-five minutes and two signatures later, they each held a key for their new apartment.
“...You still good with the couch?” Purple asked.
“I'd take a chair if I had to.” Lime walked up the stairs, a bit too fast for Purple. “Heck, I'd take a bathtub, or a countertop, or even the floor. So long as I get a pillow, and I have that in my bag.”
“Sure, but we should probably switch who gets the bed on a schedule then.” As soon as Purple reached their floor, their longer strides made it simple to catch up with their new roommate. “Or make sure we get a second bed soon.”
“If you say so. But I'm taking the couch now.”
Purple unlocked the door, and Lime entered, looking around.
“...Gonna need to boil some cinnamon soon,” they muttered. “Place smells like chemicals.”
“At least it's mostly clean and furnished. Might not need to bring too much up the stairs.”
Lime shrugged, and they took a seat on the couch. “Sleep well. We can talk more later.”
Purple nodded. “Sounds good. Don't stay up too late.”
“No promises.”