Work Text:
A cemetery in Britain, 23 December 2012
How am I supposed to do this without you?
You weren’t supposed to be gone yet. We were supposed to have one more Christmas together. The healer said you were going to be here another six months. That was only a month ago. Our children are too small to understand why their mother isn’t here. Our family is unable to understand how you developed a muggle disease that both muggle and wizard medicine can’t cure. They don’t understand how much you would have suffered in those six months, or how you got so sick so fast in the last month. They don’t understand how Cancer works, I did.
I understood that there was nothing anyone could do except make you as comfortable as possible in the time you had left, I just never believed that time would be so short.
Your parents don’t understand why I want to be alone this Christmas, with just the children. We need time to grieve alone as a family over the one thing we want this year, but will never have. Before the children came along, it was always you that planned the parties, did the decorating, and the cooking. It was you who kept us all in good spirits no matter what. It was you who stood up to your mother when we wanted to spend our first Christmas as a married couple alone together. You also stood up to mine. She still hasn’t forgiven us for that by the way.
I love you my darling and I wish you were here to celebrate Phoebe’s first Christmas with us. This is supposed to be a happy time but I can’t help to be sad. I spent seven years of my life fighting to stay alive and out of Azkaban, only to have the life sucked out of me ten years later. I don’t want to do this without you.
Thank you for taking the time to look past the pain I put you through to see the light in me. Thank you for breathing life back into the Malfoy name. I promise I will make sure our family does you proud.
Merry Christmas my darling Hermione. I wish this wasn’t goodbye.