Work Text:
Herc knew. He'd always known. Chuck never talked about it, but what was there to say?
He'd worried at first- worried that Chuck wasn't happy, that he wouldn't be able to have a normal life once this was all over. IF it was ever over. Then he realised that he was in the same boat himself- he hadn't really thought about being with anyone since... well, since she died.
(He did go on a date once- once, and Chuck had respectfully tried to avoid prying into that memory. Herc realised it was less because of the idea of bringing a sex life into the drift, and more because it hurt Chuck to think about his dad with someone other than his mom.)
It was different, and he knew it was different, but at least he knew. If they hadn't become co-pilots, if they never drifted together, he'd probably start to wonder by now why Chuck never brought anyone home... This way, he understood.
And he began to worry about other things.
Because someday, either the program was going to end, or Herc was going to die in action, and Chuck would end up alone. He didn't care if he never had grandchildren. He didn't care if his son died an eighty-two-year-old virgin, as long as he wasn't alone. 'Only children' were exceptional at entertaining themselves, but too much time cooped up by himself and Herc could easily imagine Chuck becoming withdrawn, depressed, detrimentally broody.
It wasn't even like Chuck had problems making friends. Well, okay, sometimes he was a little rough around the edges... but some of the mechanics liked him well enough, Herc supposed. (Sometimes he didn't know perspective, didn't know when to shut his rebellious mouth, didn't know when people were trying to be decent to him, but that had nothing to do with sexuality, because Herc had met plenty of guys in school that acted just like Chuck and they would have slept with half the Shatterdome by now.)
He saw Chuck alone, hating himself and the rest of the world. He saw Chuck alone, and it tore him apart, because he knew that, no matter what happened with the Jaeger program, no matter how Operation Pitfall turned out, he couldn't be there for Chuck forever.
(Herc hoped Chuck never saw those images, never felt that unsettling concern, even though he knew he had.)
He supposed it could happen to anyone- anyone could end up alone, but Chuck was in a different category, and he knew it would be hard to communicate it to someone that hadn't been inside his thoughts. At least in this century, there were words to describe it- words like 'ace', and Herc thought that suited his boy just fine.
(Maybe, once Herc died or retired or just plain got fed up with legal bullshit, Chuck would find another co-pilot. He'd resist the idea, at first, but there was always the possibility of Chuck drifting with someone and finding that same understanding and acceptance, and the thought helped Herc sleep at night.)
But now it's too late for that.
Now Herc is watching his son walk away. He sees the red around the rims of his eyes, the tears he won't allow to fall. Hears the brave acceptance in his voice over the comm from Striker's conn-pod.
"My father always said: If you have the shot, take it."
It's almost beautiful, Herc thinks bitterly, because Chuck didn't die old or alone.