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The first time Pansy got married she was five years old and playing in the field at the bottom of the garden. She and her sister had been ordered to entertain Godewyn whilst his parents, and theirs talked about money and houses and politics and the terrible shambles that the Wizarding World had found itself in. Three hours in and she and Godewyn had amused themselves by climbing trees and laughing themselves silly as Viola pleaded with them to get down, insisting that they were going to get hurt. They had laughed even harder when Viola screamed as if a basilisk were after her when they jumped down from the branch that they were sitting on, and landed in all the gloriously crunchy autumn leaves.
Unfortunately Pansy's mother had heard the screaming, and come out to investigate. Declaring, with an imperiously arched eyebrow that such games were just not suitable, she had made them agree to play dress-up and pretend with Viola as recompense. Which is why Pansy found herself, at the bottom of the garden, under the old oak tree saying her wedding vows.
Twenty years later, sitting with her sister in her living room, Pansy could admit that there was something funny about it all. Particularly the events of that night when she and Godewyn had filled Viola's bed with toads.
to thee I pledge my troth, but not my life my lord
Pansy married for the second time when she was a short stocky nine year old. She was stood in the study of Himfrax House, with Theodore Nott, reciting the wedding vows from Edelberta Dogweed's The Courtesanal Code. Their governess, a harried looking beanpole of a woman, was playing the role of minister and looking deeply disappointed in her students and their lack of involvement. After Pansy and Theodore had monotoned their way through the scene they turned, both with stony looks in their eyes, to look at each other.
"You know what comes next children." Governess Glendinning sniffed. "Do not think I am releasing you into the wonderful world of free time and play until you have completed the scene." Lifting her hand, as if to tuck a stray hair into her bun, she hid a smile with her sleeve.
Theodore took Pansy's hand, holding it as if it smelled like a pair of three week old socks left on the floor of the bathroom. "My love, my life, my heart. I beg, of you, a kiss. For we must pledge our love for each other."
Pansy's nostrils flared as she recited her lines. "My love, my life, my heart. Nothing would please me greater than a kiss from you. I have waited for this moment for nine months now."
The two edged closer together, and shuffled their shoes so that the tips touched. Leaning forwards, with expressions of revulsion on their faces they quickly pecked their lips together and then sprang apart.
"Yeuch!" Pansy exclaimed, wiping her mouth roughly with her handkerchief, as Theodore did the same.
"Run along children." Governess Glendinning nodded towards the door, and watched as they ran out of the door and into the fields beyond the house.
through twisting lanes and tangled ties
Pansy's third marriage was, by far, the largest and most well attended. She was eleven years old and the Sorting Hat had shouted out "Slytherin!" two hours before. Suddenly she found herself in the Slytherin dungeons, surrounded by people. Some of whom she had known for years, some she vaguely recognised from endless social events and others she had never met before, and they were all arm in arm. Repeating solemn vows after one of the Seventh Years and shivering with what it all meant, and would mean for years to come.
No matter what happened in the wild and woolly and unknown decades that were in front of them, Pansy and all the others knew that they would, forever, be wedded to Slytherin House and all it stood for.
we signed those papers and we lived our lives and no one told us not to
The fourth marriage Pansy attended was the least ceremonial. It was her and Hermione, sat on the couch in their living room, sorting through papers and signing forms. As Pansy had reached forward for her mug, Hermione had turned to her and said, "You know, this is almost like being married. All these forms, and ways in which we are tied together."
Swallowing, Pansy replied, "Granger, this is being married. We own this flat. We have a joint account at Gringotts and at that Alliance and Axminster place. Last year we spent Christmas at your parent's house, this year we'll spend it at mine and the year after that, we'll spend it here. We send joint cards to everyone, we come home to each other every night." Putting her mug down on the table, she turned towards Hermione, "I think of us as married. In all the important ways. We dealt with that business with my mother, I held your hand as you told the Minister to stuff his beliefs. You got my shoulder horribly wet when I was in St Mungo's. Face it Granger, we're married."
Hermione shifted round on the sofa, and moved her leg so it was over Pansy's. Placing her mug down on the table as well, she leaned forward. "So we are. I love you Pansy Parkinson. For the rest of my life."
we invented bureaucracy because we had nothing left to lose
The day Pansy signed a lot of pieces of paper, stood in front of a member of the Civil Wizengamot and pledged her life to Hermione Jane Granger, was the one time she was legally tied to one person, and the one time in her life she did not get married. She stood there, harried and tube rumpled, having crossed London at rush hour, and smirked at Hermione as they signed the endless reams of paper. Rana Patil cast an eye over their paperwork, signed her name above theirs and shook their hands. "My mother says congratulations," she said, smiling.
"Thank you." Hermione grinned, and straightened her robes. "Tell her I said hello."
Pansy raised an eyebrow and turned towards Hermione. "Yes, yes, this is all very nice. Can we go now, I'd like to get home before Come Dine With Me ends."
Laughing, Hermione took Pansy's hand. "Certainly my darling. One wouldn't want to spoil the romance of married life after all."