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Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College – 3:16 AM
It’s heavy, deep and so, so wrong inside Megumi. This feeling inside him spilling out his throat from his chest. It’s gone too far from his control, now him being the slave of his running thoughts.
He shakes, mumbles and breaks as he begs for this feeling to stop. Feeling that he didn’t even recognize in the first place. He hates that. Hates this.
Hates that even with everything going his way, going perfect (or so everyone thinks), he feels so hollow, so blue. There’s no reason to be like this, Megumi shouldn’t be like this, he’s overreacting.
Well, that’s what the people surrounding him thought because, of course, why would Megumi tell anyone that he was struggling? They don’t need to know everything, and maybe he’d forgotten to tell anyone more than once.
But you can’t blame him, they just look so happy and content, plus everyone also has something on their plate so, how could he dare to add more preoccupations to them? It’s not like someone had noticed anyways.
Well, no one had, but one person.
Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College – 00:16 AM
Megumi had just entered the building, coming from a night walk around the campus, he needed some fresh air.
And, as he went to get some water, someone came in his way.
“Fushiguro!” That damn voice, that sweet and warm voice. “Don’t you think it is a bit late to go outside?”
Megumi sighed softly before putting down his glass of water. “Yes, that’s why I just arrived, I’m not planning on going out again until tomorrow.”
“Aww man! You went on a walk without me?” Yuji pouted as he approached him, the soft light of the kitchen hitting his face.
And Fushiguro nodded slowly, keeping quiet while trying to avoid the other’s gaze. Then, silence filled the room for a few moments.
“Fushiguro,” The pink haired boy mumbled as he studied Megumi’s face and figure. “Have you been eating well? You seem… different.”
‘Don’t say a thing, Megumi, you’ll only worry him more.’ The other thought, trying to resume his walk to his dorm.
“Yeah, I’m just– tired,” He replied a few beats later, taking a deep breath after walking past Yuji. “I’m going to my room, goodnight Itadori.”
The other looked back at him as he started to leave, and whispered a soft– “Hey,” Gaining Megumi’s attention. “You don’t have to tell me anything, but you can call me anytime you need it.” He fully turned around to face him. “I’ll pick up, I promise.”
Reassurance. Something Megumi didn’t know he needed. A calming promise, a warm word. Megumi knows he probably won’t do that, he doesn’t want to bother anyone. He wanted to play it cool.
“Yeah, yeah,” He said, and then again. “G’night.”
“Rest well, Fushiguro!” Itadori whispered-screamed as he walked the other way to the bathroom.
He can’t do that, Itadori wouldn’t even remember, would he? He’d said that two years ago, and he isn’t really the brightest person when it comes to memory.
Like, yes, maybe they’ve shared more than one kiss, one intimate moment, but Megumi doesn’t know if he could handle Itadori’s reaction to seeing him like this. After all, maybe he doesn’t mean that much, does he?
But he’s just a click away. So close but so far.
Yet,
Between broken breaths and shaky thoughts, he decided to do the only thing he’d never thought he’d actually do. He called Yuji.
The tone rang only one time before he heard that, again, sweet and warm voice, now filled with a bit of tiredness in it, rough.
“Fushi?” The other answered immediately, and Megumi has to act like that doesn’t create a weird feeling inside his chest. “Hello?”
But, he doesn’t answer with words, the only thing heard between the line being his short breaths and aching chest. And, deep down, he hopes that’s enough, ‘cause he doesn’t trust his voice enough to speak up.
And it was.
“I’ll be there right now, wait for me, please.” Itadori said hurriedly, and hung up with just another click, leaving Megumi alone with his thoughts again, hopefully not for long enough.
He heard fast but silent footsteps in a matter of seconds, stopping right in front of his door as the doorknob turned open.
There was no talking, just a closed door and a weight behind him, hugging him as trying to protect him from everything he couldn’t save himself from. Protecting him from his own mind.
No words needed, just– presence. His presence.
Megumi didn’t even know when the tears started to spill once again, they just did. But now it was a different story, he wasn’t the only one bearing his burden.
Now he could turn around and be hugged by those strong arms who collect his broken pieces and put them together while he unraveled. Now he could let a piece of mind out of his body without being scared of someone hearing him, because that someone was already here.
He’d remembered, he was here, rubbing soothing trails along his back as Megumi cried in his chest, letting himself unwind everything he hadn’t been able to do before.
Fushiguro deeply wished that this was a dream, that he’d have to wake up in a cold sweat and sigh heavily before going back again to sleep, not to be like this in this moment. Not to feel vulnerable and useless and–
Itadori hugged him a bit tighter, as if he was saying ‘I’m here, don’t worry about nothing, I’ll keep you safe.’ And that seemed to calm Megumi a bit more, even if it hadn’t been said with words.
He buried himself more into the other’s chest, grabbing onto his t-shirt and arms, trying to anchor himself to anything he could, like he was three blows away from disappearing.
His breath synched with Itadori’s, who was taking slow and deep breaths, trying to redirect Megumi’s mind to somewhere safe. And he succeeded.
The room went silent once again, yet not like before. Now it was truly silent, no voices inside Fushiguro’s head trying to remind him every time he’d done something wrong, not making him overthink anything. He was silent.
They stayed in that position for some time, Itadori’s arms stopping Fushiguro from pulling away (not that he'd try otherwise).
He could act like this never happened, he could hide in his own shadow until the other got back to his dorm, he could run away from all this. He wanted to get away from this, not because he didn’t like it, but because he felt worthless, futile. Megumi always managed to get through everything alone, so, what made this any different? Why couldn’t he push through this as usual?
He tried not to think about it too much, feeling new tears forming in his eyes threatening to spill right after he’d managed to calm down for a bit. He bit down his lower lip trying to hold everything back, he’d already done enough and probably, to Itadori’s eyes, he’d just look like he was trying to drag everything longer.
And then, like a mind reader, Yuji spoke up for the first time in the night. “Don’t hold back anything, I think you’ve already contained a lot.”
How did he always know what to say?
Maybe he just knew Megumi too well.
Another wave of anguish struck Megumi deep in his gut, making him weep for God knows how many times that night.
You see, the thing about pain, frustration, disappointment... is that they’re never predictable. They always hit you right where it hurts the most when you least expect it.
Megumi was no stranger to this, yet he wasn't one to seek or ask for help. He could always handle everything; he was incredibly strong, he had grown up to be that way. He knew how to deal with anxiety, with anger, to cope with loss, but he never learned how to deal with himself. That had always been his greatest flaw.
And because of that, he’s scared of himself, of hurting the innocent people around him, those who don’t deserve even an ounce of his bad attitude sometimes, those who always show him help even if he doesn’t ask for it.
Yet, he tries to be a better version of himself every day, he swears he tries so hard it gets difficult sometimes. Of course, there are times that he fails, but when he does, there’s always someone to pick him up. Yuji’s always there to pick him up, to fix anything he might’ve broken, even if it’s himself.
Time passes by, none of them really know how much, just– time flying by.
By now, Fushiguro’s completely melted against Yuji, who got to regulate Megumi’s crying self by gently speaking his way through, not searching for answers but for the other’s safety.
So, when Megumi felt a bit more calm, he looked up at Itadori's face.
“You…” He mumbled, his voice hoarse from all the muffled crying. “You remembered.”
“Of course I did,” Megumi got as a response, warm hands still caressing his back before one of them reached his face, drying the wet trail that the tears had left behind. “I promised I would pick up, didn’t I?” Yuji continued answering, his thumb coming up to dry some new droplets that formed at the corner of the other’s eyes.
Fushiguro took a deep breath before trying to speak up. “Yeah, but I thought you’d– forget about it…” His voice broke mid sentence, his eyes looking somewhere else, he couldn’t deal with the other’s gaze right now.
“Yet, you still called.”
“It was worth a shot to–”
“Hey,” Yuji interrupted softly, slightly tapping the raven haired boy’s cheek to regain his attention. “I could not forgive myself if I found out that you reached out to me, and I didn’t answer.” He admitted, his eyes full of warmth and understanding. “Please call me every single time you need me, I’ll be so lonely without you, Megumi.”
Maybe help didn’t sound so bad after this.
Fushiguro pushed himself up a bit, his face now hiding in the other’s neck. “It’s just that…”
“You don’t have to tell me anything right now if you don’t want to, you don’t owe me any explanation.” The pink haired boy caressed Megumi's nape as his other hand rested on his hip, drawing vague circles with his thumb there.
Megumi huffed, the gentle air slightly tickling Yuji. “But you came all this way and helped me–”
The other gently pulled him out of his neck by his cheek and gazed straight into his eyes. “I’m doing this because I care about you, not because I feel forced to do it, so stop that.” His eyes dropped for a few seconds to Megumi’s lips. Even if it was dark, he’d memorized his face by now, knowing exactly where they were.
He left a chaste kiss on them, a brush of lips, a hint meaning that everything will be okay, that he’s here and Megumi’s safe.
And maybe Megumi believes him, as he leaves another soft kiss on those plush lips, this one a little longer but no less gentle.
“Thank you,” Fushiguro mumbles as he tries to hide in the other’s chest, a bit embarrassed. “For everything, I mean, you didn’t have to.”
A chuckle rumbles through Yuji’s chest, and that manages to pull a soft smile from Megumi’s lips. “Y’know I’d do anything if you asked, so don’t thank me, you don’t have to.”
And only then, Megumi felt a wave of tiredness getting to him, his eyes finally dropping, yet feeling a kiss at the top of his head before, finally, falling asleep.
Maybe this won’t be a long term cure, but it’s what he needs right now, and he won’t bat an eye if suddenly Yuji’s things start appearing inside his room, or if he stays the night more than once. He’ll let that happen, he’ll let some help in.