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After the events of Irontomb, the Herta Space Station has never been so quiet. The Herta puppets still roamed the halls aimlessly now that their master was no longer present.
The Simulated Universe eventually stopped operating due to the absence of one of their most important members of this project. Even if Screwllum wished to continue, Stephen and Ruan Mei had stopped attending their meetings so their progress hasn't really moved.
Asta had become more reserved, Arlan sticking by her side more often.
Ruan Mei, an already quiet and reserved person had been staying in her lab for longer. Puppets occasionally visiting just like Herta would've back when she was still alive.
Back then, Herta would visit to eat Ruan Mei's newest desserts.
Herta wouldn't admit it but she quite enjoyed spending time with the biologist. Besides Screwllum and Stephen, Ruan Mei was the only person she considered an equal to her.
Before the fight with Irontomb, Ruan Mei had told Herta to come by and try the desserts she made.
How unfortunate.
Ruan Mei didn't understand the feelings she held for Herta. Herta had once said it was "Love" or something. She didn't really care. It was a hindrance to her research after all.
But one thing was for sure — ever since the genius's disappearance, there was a void left in her heart. Something she couldn't seem to fill even with her research.
If she had to describe it, it felt like falling into a deep, deep ocean. Unable to drown, and unable to climb back up either. She'd buried herself in her research. But this time, her research was focused on the revival of a certain genius.
Her genius.
Her Herta.
The Trailblazer was invited to her lab again. Ruan Mei said it was urgent and she wanted their opinion.
"Did you need something?" They asked, eating one of her cakes as she pulled an operating table into the room. Whatever was on it was covered with a white cloth. The Trailblazer set the cake down, walking over to her side. Clearly curious on what was so urgent to Ruan Mei.
"I just wanted to ask you something.." She began, pulling the cloth off. Revealing Herta... or not Herta? The Trailblazer stepped back, instinctively averting their gaze.
"What else did you know about Herta?" Ruan Mei turned to them absent mindedly as if there wasn't a dead woman's body on the table.
Ruan Mei was a woman who believed every living organism would eventually return to deaths cold embrace. Even Aeons would fall, Emanators would fall, humanity would fall. Finality was a fate they couldn't ever escape, and Ruan Mei never once denied it.
So, why? Why did she try so hard to bring Herta back? Knowing the situation of Irontomb, the real Herta was long gone. She knew that. So, why? Why was she still...
Forget it. Herta's back now, right? All she needed was information of the genius. The past week was spent asking the puppets of Herta what they thought of their creator.
"Madam Herta is a peerless gem!"
"Madam Herta is an unrivaled genius..."
"Madam Herta is an inimitable beauty."
Though, one puppet posed a question to the biologist..
"What do you think of Madam Herta, miss Ruan Mei?"
Ruan Mei couldn't sleep that night. What did she think of Herta? Why was she so set on bringing her back?
It was laughable. Ruan Mei once considered these emotions useless. She once thought it was odd people would take emotions so seriously.
But now? It was her who was so engulfed by these emotions. So driven by them.
Ruan Mei explained to the Trailblazer her plan to bring Herta back. Herta had given up her head for Irontomb so it was impossible to copy the original 1:1
To save the world.. No, Herta did it to satisfy her own curiosity. Curiosity really killed the cat, huh?
The Trailblazer complied anyway, telling her about what Herta had been like. She was a genius, #83 of the Genius Society. An Emanator of Nous, the Erudition. She was a savior, somebody who found it boring living a life devoid of problems.
Ruan Mei nodded along, writing it down on a clipboard. Her gaze would drift onto the still body, it was unusual seeing Herta so calm. She was always thinking of something. Solving an equation, or scowling at something a researcher said.
Eventually, the meeting concluded. Ruan Mei warned the trailblazer to not inform anyone, especially Screwllum. She knew full well he would try to stop her. Even if he did try, she'd still do it and he'd let her do it. In the genius society, interfering with one's work is looked down upon.
Alone again in her lab, she went to water her plants. Of course she didn't just ignore her other experiments. In the corner of her eye, she saw two catcakes that were supposed to resemble herself and Herta. They were stacked on eachother, Lambda below the Wisteria Cake. The catcake resembling Ruan Mei was seemingly ignoring the other, too caught up in its own world.
Ruan Mei stared for a while, it seemed to remind her of how she used to treat Herta. Only now did she realize that Herta was attempting to get closer to her and all she ever did was push her away — Convincing herself that relationships were holding her back from her final goal. She only snapped out of it when the water had overflowed, reaching her feet.
She returned to her quarters, settling in bed for the night. She hasn't been able to sleep lately — that same empty void felt like it was eating her whole. On some nights, she'd turn over expecting to see Herta's sleeping face besides her, only to be met with an empty space where Herta once was. Ruan Mei reached for the pillow, holding it close to her chest. She didn't know why she was doing it but it calmed her heart, silenced her mind, made it easier to sleep and let go. Herta once told her something. The mood was similar to this moment,
"My goal for aeonhood feels so close," Ruan Mei said, holding Herta's hand up. "Would you be happy if I left?"
Herta mumbled. "If you were to leave me for aeonhood.. I would let you."
"why?"
"that's what you would've wanted. It's what would've made you happier."
"..."
"To love is to let go," Herta sighed as she pulled away from her and turned over in bed.
When morning came, the first thing Ruan Mei had noticed were the damp stains on Herta's pillow. Had she been crying? How odd. She'd have to write that down later.
She decided to take a walk around the space station today, ignoring the worried glances from the other researchers. Her legs led her to Asta first who was as lively as ever. The shorter girl was smiling, showing Ruan Mei some new additions to the station. Arlan arrived soon after, peppy following him with it's tongue out. Asta and Arlan began talking and it gave Ruan Mei the perfect opportunity to slip past them.
She arrived to an area of the station that was usually quiet. The view from here was dazzling and Herta dragged her out here for their tea parties often. The light from the stars illuminated Herta's face, it made Ruan Mei realize just how perfect the other woman was. A familiar voice interrupted her reminiscing.
"What's a genius doing here?" Silver Wolf asked, approaching her from behind. Following her gaze out the large window. They both stayed silent for a while, seemingly understanding eachother.
"You should leave." Ruan Mei sighed, walking through the hologram.
"...You should let go," Silver Wolf muttered, her hologram disappearing right after.
Let go?
She avoided the simulated universe, unable to face it after Herta's disappearance. Herta was once so upset at her for not attending one of their meetings. Ruan Mei shrugged it off at the time but now that she was looking back at it.. She could finally see how truly upset Herta was.
If only she could perform surgery on her own brain, perhaps then she'd be able to feel normal.
Upon returning to her lab, she stared at that Genius' body in that pod before it hissed open. Herta's eyes slowly opened, they looked exactly like she remembered. She knew it wasn't her. Some part of her wished it was.
She began writing down the process, asking if it felt alright and so on.
"You're seriously asking me that? Of course I'm alright." Herta responded, getting up. ".. Have you got my clothes?" she asked, a hint of embarrassment in her voice. Still as arrogant as ever.
They held another tea party a while later, Ruan Mei paced around the room while explaining what had happened to her. Herta nodded, constructing her reply.
"I'm here now right? don't be so worried Mei." She waved off, eating the desserts. "It's amazing how you were able to recreate the human body like this.." She praised, muttering something under her breath.
Ruan Mei deep in her heart this wasn't Herta. But she wanted so badly to believe..
She stopped abruptly at the sound of her lab door hissing open, a puppet walking in with a catcake in hand. "Ruan Mei! another one of your critters ran off again-"
...
"Madam Herta?" the puppet raised a brow, approaching the two geniuses before shaking it's head. "You're not her." It sighed in disappointment, leaving just as fast as it came.
Ruan Mei felt a little offended, she recreated her perfectly. same face, same proportions, same way of thinking! how could the puppets even tell?
...
"Ruan Mei?" Herta smiled at her, inviting her to sit down for tea. "How long has it been, Mei?" She asked.
Ruan Mei thought back for a moment, sitting across from her. "3 years."
"Oh my," Herta gasped, it's really been that long..?
Ruan Mei nodded, taking her hands. They were cold unlike the real thing. The two chatted just like old times, Herta trying to understand how Ruan Mei even managed to "bring her back".
"You've got to let me go, you know?" she chuckled. "I may not be the real Herta, but even I know she would've wanted you to move on. I'll go and shut myself off for you hm?"
The biologist glared, pulling her back. "You're one of my best creations." She couldn't let Herta leave her, not again. not ever.
"I'm not her."
"..I know that." She trembled, standing up after her. "But please.. just.." her voice cracked.
The two stood in an uncomfortable silence for a while. She hated it so much. She hated it cause she knew Herta honestly would've done this. Herta would've forced her to heal, to get better.
Ruan Mei's greatest enemy was her own love for Herta.
Ruan Mei let out a choked sob, embracing Hert- the replica of Herta. It looked like her, smelled, felt, and sounded just like her, flawless skin and everything.
But it was empty. It didn't fill that empty void in her heart.
Ruan Mei doesn't think anything else could.
Herta's witch hat sat in the corner of the room, almost mocking the biologist. She looked everywhere that wasn't the replica. The plants, the notes.. the catcakes.
Just yesterday, the Lambda and Wisteria Cake were stuck together. Now, the Wisteria Cake seemed to be focused on another one of Ruan Mei's notes despite being unable to read. and the Lambda catcake, the one resembling Ruan Mei was watching sadly from afar. Though it couldn't reach out, unwilling to leave the comfort of it's bed.
Herta once told her to shut down the puppets if she ever left the station.
At the time, Ruan Mei didn't think she needed to.
"Why would you ever leave?" She asked.
Even now, the puppets were helpful and maintained order around the station. They reminded Ruan Mei of her. She couldn't get rid of the things Herta once owned.
The replica pushed Ruan Mei's chin up, forcing their eyes to meet. This time, she noticed that they lacked the curiosity Herta always held in her eyes.
She could never replicate such an inimitable beauty.
Herta was a peerless gem,
Her Herta, truly was an unrivaled genius. One of a kind.
"Only when you admit to yesterday can today and tomorrow bring a brighter future." is what Herta once said, Ruan Mei remembers now.
The human brain is a miraculous thing, isn't it?
It's a malicious thing, too.
Is that not the beauty of being human, though?
To love is to let go.
Ruan Mei loved Herta,
and maybe all that was left was to let go of her.