Chapter Text
For as long as any of the Boston Bears could remember, there was one phrase that ruled over any decision made by the group. Dibs.
Any time they visited a club and argued over who was going to hit on the hot chick at the bar? Dibs. Each debate on who would get to use the shower with good water pressure? Dibs. Whenever they had to decide on who would be spared from sitting next to Marleau on a flight and his snoring and manspreading? Dibs.
Obviously, there was one major caveat to their rule. It had been officially decided upon by the whole team during its creation. In “cases of seduction,” the player who enacted the dib had to forfeit their sexual or romantic prospect if rejected, as well as allow any other player on the team to pursue that dib instead. Any dib that went against this rule was deemed “unrighteous” (someone on the team definitely looked up “smart words for evil” for that). The idea started off as more of a “bros before hoes” thing for bar nights, but ended up becoming a system for anything and everything they could possibly deem “dib-able.”
They had all been called juvenile and childish for it by their friends on other teams, but the system worked. The Bears unanimously decided two things: They were a better team for it, and the rest of the MLH teams were missing out. It was clear that Boston had the only hockey team to ever solve all their arguments before they ever arose.
~~~
As a brand new season began, a rumor began to spread like wildfire across the league. Nobody could fully confirm it of course, but it was absolutely mindblowing to the Bears when they found out about it a few hours before a game against Montreal. Shane Hollander was gay.
At first, the rumor found itself in the locker room in the form of whispers between Connors and St-Simon. Then Carmichael joined in. Hammersmith and Sebbin too. Very soon, the entire room was full of hushed conversations crudely debating Hollander’s alleged sexual preferences, what he… preferred, and how the rumor could’ve even started. It was a good thing that no paps were in the room for that discussion because they would all be cancelled for being bigoted towards gay men. None of them thought of themselves as homophobic, but they sure were stupid and insensitive about topics like this.
At least that’s what Ilya thought. He had never actually spoken to any of his teammates of gay people before, so he couldn’t truly know what they thought of people like him. Hockey was a sport filled with bigotry towards all sorts of people, but he always refused to think that any of the people that called him captain were like that. The thought that he probably wouldn’t be accepted by the people on this team, by the brothers he loved with his whole heart was terrifying. So Ilya sat in his stall, trying his best to disappear.
Eventually, he watched as Marleau walked over and stood at the center of the room. It went unnoticed by the others, who were all talking about his Shane.
“Guys.”
Nothing.
A bit louder. “Guys.”
Still nothing.
“GUYS SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR A SEC! I know what we’re all talking about right now. I’m just gonna say what we’re all thinking.”
There was an intensity to his voice that Ilya rarely ever heard. He couldn’t tell if Marleau was about to condemn any homophobic comments being made by the team during their gossip session, or if he was about to kickstart a rant on why homosexuality shouldn’t be allowed in the league. He prayed it wasn’t the latter.
The room went silent, also unsure of what Marleau was about to say. Each player seemed to shrink down at the tone of his voice and the cold, stern look on his face. The silence seemed like it stretched for an eternity as Marleau stood in the center of the room, arms crossed and jaw set.
“Dibs.”
Dibs. Did he really just call dibs on Shane?
The room exploded into angry voices, worrying Ilya, making him think that the nagging voices calling his brothers homophobic were right.
“MARLEAU, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!”
“WE DIDN’T KNOW WE COULD CALL DIBS ON HOLLANDER, THAT’S UNFAIR!”
“THAT’S AN UNRIGHTEOUS DIB, MARLEAU, AND YOU KNOW IT!”
“SNEAKY BASTARD!”
Everyone was fighting… over Hollander? Seriously? What the hell?
Marleau tried to fight against the herd of voices cursing him out. “Guys, c’mon! A dib is a fucking dib! You guys just didn’t think about all your options!”
Connors shouted back at him, annoyance in his voice. “You aren’t even gay, man! The fuck are you even gonna do with a Hollander dib? This feels like it’s just to spite the rest of us for not thinking of it first.”
“Woah woah woah, just because I’m straight doesn’t mean I’m not gonna use it.”
What the fuck does that mean?
“If, hypothetically, Shane Hollander is gay, would he not be on the market? None of the paps have ever seen the dude with a chick or another guy, so he probably has nobody in the picture. I don’t want to be one to knock it before I try it, and Hollander wouldn’t be the worst person to lose your gay-card to. C’mon, dude’s the best player in the league-“
Ilya piped in with “Second best player.”
“And he always comes out on top in those ‘Hockey’s sexiest players’ lists. I’m not gay, but an opportunity is an opportunity if you’re catching my drift.”
Ilya thought that every single word that just left Marleau’s mouth was the most absurd thing he had ever heard. Maybe he really was gay or bi and so deep in the closet that he couldn’t even fathom the thought that he wasn’t actually straight. He couldn’t be more wrong.
The most absurd thing he had ever heard was the entire locker room agreeing with him. On top of that, they were actively trying to organize a Boston/Montreal bar night after their game tonight. What the actual fuck was happening?
Ilya sat back in his stall and pulled out his messages with Shane.
Jane ♥️
Ilya Rozanov
Моя любовь
shanya
please forgive me
Jane
Ilya? What happened? Are you okay?
Do you need me to come to you?
Ilya Rozanov
i might take you up on coming to me offer tonight
😈
but no
rumor that you are gay spread to boston locker room
marly called dibs, so you cannot come over until you turn him down at club.
i am sorry, любовь. is Bear Code of Dibs. i cannot break.
Jane
Dibs??? You cannot be serious right now.
Jesus Christ.
Maybe I’ll take Marleau home and suck his dick instead of yours tonight since he has FUCKING DIBS on me.
Ilya Rozanov
please no
i don’t want you to take his gay-card
Jane
?????
I’m not even going to ask.
I will see you later, idiot.
Ilya Rozanov
i love you, my shanya
Jane
I love you too.
🖕
Was he jealous at the idea of Marleau trying to sleep with his boyfriend? Yes, very much. Was he also amused at the idea of his other straight teammates hoping he fails just so they can swoop in to preserve the principle of the Bear Dib? Very much so. At least he knew his team wasn’t homophobic.