Work Text:
Lyrics
[Verse 1]
Jason says, “Look at the muscle on Neal”
“Rufus has got that beautiful dangerous feel”
“Clive’s hair is absurdly unfair tonight”
“Thad’s got that movie-star bite”
“Adorable, awkward Greg rocks that nerd chic”
“Dustin got that twunky pretty-boy streak”
“Gary? Oh, my man Gary’s a fluffy, cuddly beast”
“Humphrey’s an overly-sensitive Superman from the deserts of the Middle East-
Rude and extra mean to me; everybody else gets the humbly-sincere cheese”
[Bridge]
And Humphrey says, “Jason’s up to something-
You can tell because he’s talking-
Also, stop calling me Humpy”
Humphrey never let it go, let it slide, let it rest
Knowing each and every time was a test
If he gave a centimeter, a millimeter, a micron
Jason would take 10,000 kilometers
100,000 kilometers
[Pre-Chorus]
Jason’s past girlfriends swore
“Boy, you read like something more”
Jason laughs like, “Come on, please”
“I just know what we all like to see”
[Chorus]
It’s normal, right?
It’s normal, right?
To call a friend handsome out loud
They think I’m gone
They think I’m too much
But come on, I just know the crowd
[Verse 2]
The day after Boko, where they’d almost lost someone
Jason thought drinking games would solve their problems
“I only exploded a little, lighten up, have some fun”
Drinks got to drinking
Talk got to talking
Remembering, re-living, fearing
Memories of blood and fear overwhelming
[Pre-Chorus]
Looking to be a distraction
Jason pulled out his impish grin
“I know how to prove I’m not gay-
It’s by smooching this hunk of a BAE”
[Chorus]
It’s normal, right?
It’s normal, right?
To call a friend handsome out loud
They think I’m gone
They think I’m too much
But come on, I just know the crowd
[Verse 3]
The team all pulled out cash
Jason finally won Neal a bet, at last
Jason darted in for a smooch, some polite tongue
But Humphrey caught him and left him stunned
Massive arms lifted him like nothing at all
Pressed him close against the wall
Kissed him like the air ran thin
Like Jason was Hump’s spark and grin
[Pre-Chorus]
Jason felt his bones catch fire
Like his mana matrix now powered by desire
And maybe poison resistance was just a name
For the truth he’d been too dumb to claim
[Chorus]
It’s normal, right?
It’s normal, right?
To call a friend handsome out loud
They think I’m gone
They think I’m too much
But come on, I just know the crowd
[Bridge]
If male friend turns to boyfriend, then
Asano’s got a brand-new way to win
One heated kiss, one changed map
One more reason for the trap
[Final Chorus]
It’s normal, right?
It’s normal, right?
To call my boyfriend handsome out loud
They think I’m gone
They think I’m too much
But I like this upside-down crowd
It’s normal, right?
It’s normal, right?
He’s my man to call handsome out loud
And say it proud
Don’t call me broke
Don’t call me lost
I just found out what I wanted most
Hump, don’t call me hump
Hump, don’t call me hump
Hump, don’t call me hump
Now kiss me back and make it count