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"My Lady, don't get me wrong—I’d follow you to the ends of the earth—but is it really sensible to go there at this hour?" Chat Noir asked; he was already worried because Ladybug hadn't even tried to hide that she wasn't doing well, and now they were heading to a place—thought to be abandoned but potentially a trap.
"There might be something left there that didn't burn, and I’d be furious with myself if I missed it—it’s disgraceful enough that it only just crossed my mind." As she spoke through gritted teeth, Chat Noir wondered if she was dwelling on the day's failures.
They had constantly let Hawkmoth slip through their fingers, yet she had never been this impatient before. Had she simply grown tired of it all? The thought made a knot of dread form in Chat Noir's stomach; he recalled how, at one point—for reasons unknown to him—she had nearly given up her Miraculous, and he was surprised now that they had never really revisited that moment.
Did she want to be free of being Ladybug as soon as possible? But if that happened, would he never see her again?
They stopped when they reached the burnt-out room. "You keep watch, cat; I'm going to examine the contents of the notebooks." Chat Noir simply nodded; he felt as though he might cry if he tried to speak.
It had been a strange day for him—Marinette’s behavior had both surprised and saddened him, and there were so many things happening in his life that he couldn't make sense of. Now, seeing Ladybug like this caused him to feel as though he were drowning in his own thoughts.
For a while, there was no sound from within; when Chat Noir looked through the glass at Ladybug, he saw her huddled on the ground, weeping. Though the sight took him aback, he immediately rushed to her side and knelt down.
"There's nothing here—let's go, My Lady," he said; he didn't want to linger in this desolate place any longer while she was in such a state.
He took Ladybug's hands and helped her up, then grasped her by the waist and quickly guided them both toward the exit. The fact that Ladybug continued to weep, seemingly indifferent to everything else, only heightened his fears; she hadn't been this devastated even when she had lost the Miraculous. Was there a problem in her personal life?
He carefully took Ladybug into his arms and used his staff to lift them both onto the roof of the building opposite. As he gently set her down, Ladybug murmured, "Everything has turned to ash."
Chat Noir knelt beside Ladybug and said, "I know it looks a bit hopeless, but we can handle this. Just as you defeated Monarch, you’ll defeat the new Butterfly Miraculous holder, too."
Chat Noir was only trying to help, but right now, no one could help Ladybug. "If I have to go through what I went through with Monarch, I don't want it," Ladybug said, no longer able to suppress the tremor in her voice. "I can't be dragged back into that darkness."
As soon as Chat Noir heard this, he gathered her into his arms and held her tight. He inwardly reproached himself for having left her alone and for not being by her side, and he gritted his teeth to suppress the anger rising within him. "I'm sorry bug, I'm sorry you had to go through that alone." he whispered to her ear.
When she shouted, "If you had been there, you would have stopped me," and her sobbing intensified, Chat Noir didn't know what to do. Between the shock and the disappointment, he couldn't even gather his thoughts.
Ladybug, meanwhile, was speaking without a filter. She cried out freely, as if being in Chat Noir's arms had liberated her: "If it were you, you wouldn't have trusted him; you wouldn't have been foolish like I was... You wouldn't have ruined everything."
"I ruined everything," she cried out between ragged breaths, gripping Chat by the collar as if trying to draw strength from him.
If there was one thing Chat Noir knew—and was certain of right now—it was that Ladybug hadn't ruined everything. She was the one who fixed things; destruction was his job.
Even though he knew Ladybug couldn't understand this right now, he said it: "You fix everything, everytime."
Ladybug’s audible crying had ceased, leaving only sobs. She lifted her head and looked at Chat Noir with tear-filled eyes. "We're over, Cat... My boyfriend... I..." she murmured.
So that was why she was so upset; although Chat Noir breathed a sigh of relief now that things were finally becoming clearer, it pained his heart to see Ladybug so distressed.
He had even imagined himself breaking up with Marinette... It was like a nightmare.
"Did you two break up?" he asked gently.
When Ladybug shook her head, Chat Noir reverted to his earlier state of bewilderment. "But then—"
"But we’re going to part ways; I have to."
Feeling unable to handle any more questions, Ladybug moved away from Chat Noir and stood up. She quickly wiped away her tears and said, "There are still so many notebooks I'm not sure are burning or not; I have to go back."
Chat Noir immediately stood up and sighed, "Ladybug... they're burnt, that's all."
Ladybug shook her head. "I'm sure there's a trace—something—left behind," she said, her eyes full of hopelessness. She knew, deep down, that she wouldn't find anything. As she murmured, "I—I...", Chat Noir stepped closer and took her hands, helping her face the truth.
Ladybug looked down at the hands Chat Noir was holding and whispered, "I don't want to go home."
"Then let's not go," he said, smiling sincerely. "If you want to take a break from being the person behind the mask, you can do that. I've done it plenty of times."
Ladybug was taken aback by this admission, confronted with the realization that she knew almost nothing about Chat Noir's private life. "Is everything okay?" she asked, feeling a twinge of embarrassment. Was she only asking now? She had been blaming herself for so many things that she was frustrated with herself for having made so little effort to learn about Chat Noir, despite their secret identities.
Chat Noir thought for a moment, then decided what he wanted to say. "I have to admit, I haven't had an easy time of it," he said.
Ladybug smiled understandingly and said, "Alright, tell me everything—without the specific details." This offer took Chat Noir by surprise, yet it also stirred a strange excitement within him. Finally, he would be able to open up to the girl he had once loved—and who was now his closest friend; he had dreamed of this moment since day one.
Chat Noir’s eyes lit up, but the spark quickly faded. "But isn't that dangerous?"
Ladybug shrugged. "Oh, everything is dangerous. I’m going to lose my mind soon if I keep obsessing over the risks; don't we deserve to just let go and not worry for a bit?"
Chat Noir smiled. An idea struck Ladybug, and she said, "In that case, give me five minutes before it's just Ladybug and Chat Noir tonight; I'll be right back." She left without waiting for Chat Noir's reply; taking great care not to be followed, she transformed in the alleyway next to her house before stepping inside.
Tom and Sabine quickly stood up and hurried to her side the moment they saw her. "We were waiting for you, too—though the news says there are no akumas."
"There aren't any, Papa. Can I go have a picnic with Chat Noir? I think we both need a bit of a break," Marinette said.
Sabine smiled and gave her approval, saying, "I think that would do you good, too." Her father had already started packing a picnic basket.
He handed the basket to her and said, "Say hi to Chat Noir for us." Marinette giggled and nodded.
"You two are the best," she said, then ran out of the house. Once again, being careful not to be spotted, she made her way back to Chat Noir.
Seeing Ladybug return with a picnic basket in her hand, he smiled and teased, "I was beginning to think you'd ditched me."
Ladybug glared at him, then laughed too. "My dad wanted me to say hi to you for him."
Chat Noir’s eyes widened. He looked at Ladybug, who was spreading the picnic blanket on the ground, and asked, "Your dad?" Realizing she hadn't told him yet, Ladybug paused in taking out the plates and gave him a sheepish grin. "Right, I haven't told you yet," she said.
"Yeah! And?"
Ladybug continued as she unpacked the food. "You know how I told you the new Butterfly Miraculous holder was trying to defeat us by uncovering our identities? Well, he suspected me—my civilian self, that is—and entered our home posing as a relative, trying to get me to take off my earrings. He was testing me, basically; I managed to handle it somehow. But in the end, my family found out that the person wasn't actually the relative he claimed to be and panicked, so I had to explain why a stranger had gotten into our house..." Chat Noir was left open-mouthed as she recounted this as if it were an everyday occurrence.
"I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Bug," was all Chat Noir could say.
Ladybug looked up, having finished setting up the picnic, and smiled when she saw the concern on Chat Noir's face. "It was scary, but it's over now. Long story short, my family knows I'm Ladybug, and they know I'm with you right now," she said.
"Give my regards to your father as well then." he said.
Ladybug laughed at the thought and said, "There's no need to be so formal; they know you quite well. They've been having me tell them all about you—our adventures and such—for the past two days."
The thought warmed Chat Noir’s heart as he leaned forward to sit on the picnic blanket. "I can't believe you managed to bring all this in five minutes," he said.
Ladybug winked at him. "We have a few tricks up our sleeves too, Mr. Noir."
Chat Noir laughed. "I wouldn't expect anything less."
"But actually my dad prepared this." she admitted and Chat Noir laughed at that.
As Chat Noir popped a piece of croissant into his mouth, Ladybug broke the peaceful silence. "If you want to tell your family that you're Chat Noir, you can do that, you know."
Taken aback by her words, Chat Noir choked on his bite and started coughing; Ladybug immediately handed him some water. After swallowing, he cleared his throat and looked at her.
"Did I say something wrong?" Ladybug asked.
"We were allowed to talk a bit about ourselves, right?" Chat Noir asked, seeking confirmation, and Ladybug nodded.
"Both my mom and dad have passed away."
Ladybug was shocked by the news; yes, unfortunately, this was a part of life and people could lose their loved ones, but the fact that the two people closest to her had both experienced the same loss made her feel even more heartbroken.
"I'm so sorry, Cat..." was all she managed to say.
Chat Noir looked at the food in front of him. "It's fine; I'm trying to get used to it."
Chat Noir looked up and felt bad when he saw Ladybug lost in thought. "Ladybug, I really am okay with it. I can't exactly say my dad was as affectionate as yours. But, you know... he was still my dad."
Ladybug asked in a very faint, weak voice, "What about your mom?"
Even thinking about her gave Chat Noir a bittersweet sense of peace. He smiled wistfully and said, "She was a wonderful person—a wonderful mother. I miss her so much every day. But it's okay, I'm grateful for the times I could spend with her."
Ladybug's eyes welled up with tears. She got up from where she was sitting and sat down opposite him, next to Chat Noir. She hugged him. "You're a wonderful person, too. I'm so lucky to have you."
These words comforted Chat Noir so much that he felt tears streaming down his cheeks. Ladybug noticed this too and gently wiped them away. "I'm glad I know," she whispered.
"I'm glad you know," he replied.
Ladybug stepped back slightly, giving Chat Noir some space to feel at ease, and continued. "My boyfriend also lost his parents, and I don't know how to help him." Then, pausing at a sudden thought, she began to fidget with her hands. "Let alone helping, I don't even know how to avoid causing harm."
Chat Noir gently took Ladybug’s hands in his, and she looked at him. "I think you’re being too hard on yourself, Bugaboo," he said.
Ladybug couldn't accept that; she shook her head.
"If the reason you want to break up with him is that you think you're hurting him—well, let me use myself as an example. My girlfriend is the best thing in my life right now; I’m sure your boyfriend feels the same way about you."
Ladybug gave a sad, wistful smile. "I’m sure he does, and that’s what hurts so much—because he’s going to be my *ex*-boyfriend soon. I cause harm whether I’m around or not."
"Okay," Chat Noir said. He sat up straight and—first turning Ladybug to the right and then shifting himself to the left—positioned himself directly in front of her. "Tell me why you want to break up."
Ladybug let out a deep breath; how could she possibly explain this? "Come on, trust me," he said, prompting her to try and put it into words.
"I kept a truth from him—one that would deeply affect his life—and on top of that, I lied and made him believe it. Now, I either have to tell him the truth or break up with him, because the guilt is eating me alive."
Chat Noir hadn't expected this. Even though he was surprised, he said the first thing that came to mind. "I'm sure he'd prefer to hear the truth rather than have you leave."
Ladybug broke eye contact and looked down at her hands again. "I can't tell him; I tried. It's too hard. He'd leave me anyway for having kept the truth hidden all this time; there's no way I can be with him."
"Is it related to his family or friends?"
"His father, actually." He was surprised at himself for admitting this, but it was already too late. Afraid of going any further, he decided to change the subject.
"Forget about me—how are things going with your girlfriend?"
Chat Noir was already dwelling on the mention of a father, but he understood Ladybug's attempt to change the subject and replied, "It wasn't an easy day for us either, but apart from that, everything is wonderful and full of love. I'm so happy to have her; I'm so glad she's in my life."
Ladybug smiled. "I love seeing you happy chaton."
Chat Noir grinned broadly at the thought that crossed his mind. "Let's tell each other how we met our significant others. After all, our secret identities won't be revealed here," he said. At the same time, he hoped that recalling that day might make Ladybug decide against leaving.
Ladybug giggled and said, "Alright, if you really want to."
"You go first," Chat Noir blurted out excitedly.
"He was the new student at school, and he had arrived in class as a childhood friend of my bully," she began, but Chat Noir quickly swallowed the macaron in his mouth and interrupted her.
"You had a bully?"
Although she felt embarrassed to admit it, Ladybug nodded. "It went on for years—I could even say it’s only just ended," she confessed.
Chat Noir looked at her with a sad expression and said, "I know how hard that can be; my girlfriend still deals with trauma because of it."
The fact that Chat Noir’s girlfriend had also been bullied surprised Ladybug, though, in reality, bullies—and their victims—were all too common.
"Yeah... it's not easy." She looked up at the sky, took a deep breath, and continued. "Anyway, he had come as a friend of that girl, and I thought he was helping stick gum to my desk; in reality, he was trying to scrape it off. I judged him immediately and sort of hated him. Then we dealt with Stone Heart again, went back to school, and when classes ended, it started to rain. I was waiting for the rain to stop when he held out an umbrella and explained that he’d meant well. That’s when I fell in love with him," Ladybug recounted, blushing, a huge smile on her face.
Chat Noir stared at her in astonishment. "Tell me more," he murmured.
"Um... okay." Although Chat Noir's reaction surprised her, she went on. "I know I fell for his kindness. I tried so many times to confess my feelings, but I’d always stutter around him—I just couldn't get the words out. In the end, I barely managed to tell him I loved hin, with a little help from him—raising my right hand, then my left..." Ladybug felt it was strange sharing this with Chat Noir, yet it felt good, in a way, for him to see this side of her.
Back when Chat Noir was in love with her, she used to worry about when he might give up on her or realize she wasn't as perfect as he imagined. Now, confessing the truth herself seemed to alleviate, at least a little, the insecurity she had harbored for so long.
Confronted with the truth, Chat Noir was plagued by a whirlwind of questions.
Aside from the fact that Marinette was standing right in front of him, it was incredibly strange to realize she was planning to break up with him because she had been keeping something about his father a secret.
Noticing his state, Ladybug grew concerned and asked, "Are you okay?"
Chat Noir simply nodded and felt compelled to suggest, "Could we not talk for a while and just embrace eachother?" He needed to gather his thoughts, yet at the same time, he didn't want to leave her alone at all.
Ladybug smiled; desiring silence was perfectly natural, and in Chat Noir's company, that silence turned into a sense of peace. Without a word passing between them, they leaned against the wall, and Ladybug rested her head on Chat Noir's shoulder.
Although listening to Ladybug’s steady breathing soothed Chat Noir somewhat, he remained deeply tense. He didn't know how to face what he had just learned.
After a while, he gathered his courage and called out, "Ladybug..." but she didn't answer; she merely murmured softly. Chat Noir realized she had fallen asleep.
He smiled wistfully and let her sleep; she probably hadn't slept properly in a long time. Hoping it might help, he began to hum.
"Little kitty on a roof all alone without his lady~"
Of course, the lyrics held no meaning at that moment, for Chat Noir was not alone—he was with his lady, and he would do anything not to lose that.
He had to find a way to set everything right before Marinette left him.
About thirty minutes had passed. Chat Noir was deep in thought, feeling as though he might lose his mind over the only possibility that crossed his mind.
Considering how Marinette had acted when he mentioned his father earlier that day, the fact that he now knew she was lying, and his father's general personality, only one conclusion seemed plausible—and it was a terrible one.
His breathing grew ragged, and his eyes welled up with tears. He wanted to run away, but he couldn't wake Marinette up.
He murmured once more in a trembling voice, "Little kitty on a roof all alone without his lady..."
A wave of fear washed over him as Marinette began to stir; he wasn't ready to face this. He couldn't admit that he knew the truth, yet he didn't think he could pull off pretending he didn't.
Hearing Marinette murmur, "No, please, no..." made his own worries instantly vanish, shifting his focus entirely to her.
Was she having a nightmare?
"I'll save you, I promise..." What kind of dream was she having?
"Ladybug..." he called out softly. He didn't want her to suffer through any more of the nightmare. "Wake up."
Ladybug started, lifting her head from Chat Noir's shoulder and opening her eyes in alarm. "Where—" Just as she was about to question her surroundings, the sight of the picnic blanket jogged her memory, and she looked at Chat Noir beside her.
Chat Noir offered a sad, wry smile; he didn't feel like smiling at all, but he was used to doing so regardless of the situation. "I think you were having a nightmare," he said.
"Yeah..." Ladybug replied, shifting slightly away from him. "I'm sorry if I scared you; I haven't been sleeping well lately, and I must have just dozed off."
Adrien knew Marinette was sleep-deprived—it was obvious—but she was trying to hide it.
"It's okay." he said.
"Can I ask you something, Chat Noir?" she asked; Chat Noir felt the tension return and nodded, albeit reluctantly.
"Let's say your father was a criminal, and when the police caught him, they were torn about whether or not to tell you. Would you want to know, or would you prefer to keep thinking he was a good person?"
That question alone confirmed the disastrous scenario playing out in Chat Noir's mind.
Chat Noir could feel tears streaming down his face; a heavy weight sat upon his chest, making it hard to breathe.
His reaction frightened Ladybug. "I'm sorry—that was a ridiculous question. I'm so sorry," she said.
Chat Noir grimaced and shook his head. "Why did you lie to me?"
Ladybug's eyes widened. "What do you mean?"
"G-Gabriel Agreste was... Monarch, right?"
Tears began to fall from Ladybug's eyes as well. She bit her lip, took a deep breath, and nodded.
"No way," Chat Noir cried out, clutching his head as he stood up and began pacing in circles. "Why did this have to happen to me?"
Ladybug stood up and tried to hold Chat Noir by the back, but he immediately pulled away. "Don't," he hissed.
Ladybug recoiled in panic. Her worst fear had come true: Chat Noir hated her now.
"I know there can be no excuse for a lie, but... but I did it for Adrien. So that he could live a normal life."
Chat Noir turned to her in anger. "Is this a normal life? Lies, fake feelings, fake tales of heroism..." Then he saw the pain on Ladybug's face, and "...watching the person you love most in the world suffer, wanting to leave him..."
"What..." It had escaped Ladybug's lips like a whisper; her eyes widened, and she recoiled. "What do you know?"
"Enough games, Marinette," he shouted.
Amidst the turmoil of emotions she was feeling, Ladybug cried out, "Shh! Someone can hear us, Cat!"
All those battles, all those tears—they couldn't have been for nothing.
"Chat Noir, I swear I didn't know what to do; everything happened so fast. I couldn't save him—he died—and his last wish was for Adrien to remember him as a good father. The Butterfly Miraculous was missing, I was desperate, and I loved Adrien so much... I don't know, I just don't know. Why did I have to be the one to do this?" Ladybug sank to the ground, sobbing. "I hate this..." she murmured.
Chat Noir couldn't bear to see the girl he loved weeping on the ground before him; had she known that Adrien was the one right there, she never would have acted that way—she would have tried to comfort Adrien—but she didn't know.
For the first time in his life, Chat Noir wished Ladybug wouldn't find out his true identity.
He sank to the ground beside her and said, "Believe me, Marinette, it would have hurt Adrien less to learn his father was a terrorist. He already knew that deep in his heart anyway. You lying him, leaving him is far more devastating."
Ladybug lifted her head and made eye contact with Chat Noir. "I can't tell him... It's like when I couldn't tell him that I love him. Something is holding me back."
"Your traumas are holding you back but..."
Then he paused. He remembered that the person standing before him was not just Ladybug, but Marinette as well. She had endured so much hardship, yet she was still fighting to find her way back to what was right. She had made it clear all along that she was lying and that something was troubling her; it was simply that Adrien hadn't wanted to accept that they weren't happy.
Adrien would give Marinette the time she deserved. Marinette wouldn't learn what he knew until the right moment arrived.
He let out a deep breath and said, "And it’s okay that you need time."
Ladybug was surprised; she hadn't expected to hear that. She had been certain Chat Noir would vehemently insist on the truth being revealed.
"B-but... it would be best for Adrien to stay apart from you during this time."
Amidst their tears, they reached a silent understanding. When the message asking for a breakup arrived the next day, Adrien wasn't surprised and asked no questions.
He simply wrote, "See you when the time is right."
Marinette spent days pondering the meaning behind those words, but she couldn't figure it out.
...Until the day she confessed the truth.